Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sade - Is it a Crime?

See the Goddess at work

FEBRUARY'S EYE CANDY (courtesy of the Coney Island Hudsons): SADE.
Does the word "Goddess" mean anything to you???

Do De Rubber Duck

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I'm sorry but this is the greatest thing I've ever seen!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Here's my top 10 favourite episodes of The Twilight Zone. Yeah, I'm talking the ORIGINAL series; nothing else will do. And this list is dedicated to li'l Miss Jenny Penny who not only rescued the complete Twilight Zone DVD box set from limbo at the Hellmouth but also gave me a coupon getting me big bucks off the price. YAY! Also, these episodes are NOT in order of preference but are in chronological order of date of airing. This is simply because I couldn't decide which episode was my absolute favourite. So, get in good singing voice, croon a little "doo doo doo doo" Twilight Zone theme and read on: Walking Distance -- This is the one starring Gig Young as a stressed executive who goes back to his hometown and meets himself as a boy. Oddly, Rod Serling exhibited disappointment in this episode when asked in the 70's. I don't agree. It's the perfect illustration of why exactly you really CAN'T go home again. Time Enough at Last -- Of course, this is the old chestnut with Burgess Meredith as a book lover who is the only survivor of a nuclear war. We've all seen it a million times but it STILL remains a classic. Judgment Night -- This is the one with a squirrelly Nehemiah Persoff stuck on a boat during World War II who is POSITIVE a German U-Boat is going to sink them. The fog, the creepiness of the shipboard setting with blacked out windows and Persoff's frantic panic work for me. Mirror Image -- this is the one where Vera (Psycho) Miles is stranded in a late night bus station while being menaced by her own doppelganger. The darkened station after midnight is tremendously creepy ... even BEFORE we realize there's an evil twin lurking about. The Monsters are Due on Maple Street -- this is the one which illustrates all too clearly what the mob mind is capable of when fear overcomes our wits. All too relevant today. The Hitch-hiker -- This is the one where the tragic Inger Stevens (who died much too young) is driving across country and menaced by an eerie hitchhiker at every turn. The episode was actually adapted from the well-known radio play written by Lucille (Sorry Wrong Number) Fletcher which originally aired on the old time radio show "Suspense" starring Orson Welles in the lead role. The radio show was better but this one's unnerving enough. Inger Stevens' acting is particularly rivetting; you really feel for her as she slowly loses it. The After Hours -- this is the one where Anne (Forbidden Planet) Francis is locked alone in a department store with all those creepy mannequins. Another faboulously atmospheric set: the darkened store at night. Can't go wrong in the goosebump department. Nick of Time -- this is the one where the Shat consults a drug store devil's-head fortune telling machine which is all too accurate. I prefer this Shat Twilight Zone over the more ridiculously hammy one with the gremlin on the airplane wing. The Shat tones down his scenery chewing here and it works in the episode's favour. The Thirty Fathom Grave -- this is the only hour-long episode I chose from the little scene 4th season of hour long shows. This is the one which has a Navy ship encounter a sunken submarine from which eerie ghostly banging can be heard. This is one of the downright scariest Twilight Zones; conjuring up images of rotting, skeletal men banging on the metal walls of their sunken sub on the ocean floor as well as the fear of the Navy guys who have to go investigate the ghostly noises. The perfect TZ episode to watch on Halloween night. Well, that's it. There are, of course, MANY more fantastic episodes but these have got to be the ones I like the best. Any favourite episodes of yours that I left out??? And now that I've done the Twilight Zone (done it?!?!?! I LIVE IT!!!), perhaps one of these days I'll get around to listing my 10 favourite episodes of Boris Karloff's Thriller or Rod Serling's Night Gallery. I'll tell you one thing: -- I actually DO know what my favourite episodes of THOSE two series are: "Midnight Never Ends" for Night Gallery and "The Hungry Glass" starring the Shat himself for Boris Karloff's Thriller . But that's for ANOTHER day.

Friday, January 26, 2007

1957: MY FAVOURITE MOVIES OF 50 YEARS PAST. Well, it's now 2007 and I thought I'd jump in my wayback machine and view my 10 favourite movies from 50 years ago. These are not necessarily the best movies made that year; only those closest to my heart-cavity. These films are 50 years old this year and these are the films I revisit again and again. Here they are; in order of preference from the best to the rest:

#1. Desk Set - This is it: My fave film of 1957. Hepburn & Tracy romantic comedy which, when I want to get the FEEL of the fifties, transports me right back there. The women working at a TV station's research dept. are worried they're being replaced by a supercomputer. Wow, even 50 years ago computers were pissing people off! Time to go to Seattle!

#2. 12 Angry Men -- Brilliant movie which manages to be rivetting while confined to one room! This is the movie which will make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to ever serve on a jury because, no matter what the evidence, I can never KNOW that someone is guilty. Fonda never budges and is proved right, Lee J. Cobb is frightening and Ed Begley is unnerving.

#3. Quatermass 2 aka Enemy From Space -- This was Hammer Horror before color. This B&W classic (the best of all the Quatermass films in my opinion) stars Brian Donlevy as the token Yank in an all British cast. Truly frightening paranoid tale of invaders from outer space taking over a remote town. Creepy!

#4. Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon -- the classic Jacques Tourneur film adapted from the M.R. James short story "Casting the Runes" features Dana Andrews as the unbeliever in supernatural occurrences being terrorized by the very Aleister Crowley like Satanic mage Niall MacGinnis

#5. The Prince and the Showgirl -- This is the movie where Marilyn Monroe displays her acting chops by completely blowing Sir Laurence Olivier off the screen. A sort of "My Fair Lady" style film in which a common showgirl bedevils and bedazzles a foreign prince. Hilarious in places, touching at times, an underrated film.

#6. Kumonosu Jo aka Throne of Blood -- Akira Kurosawa's Kabuki theater-style take on Shakespeare's Macbeth. Visually stunning (gee, what were the odds) film starring the sublime Toshiro Mifune.

#7. The Incredible Shrinking Man -- Grant Williams stars in this actually brilliant film adaptation of Richard Matheson's story of a man enveloped in a radioactive cloud who finds himself shrinking and shrinking. And there's nothing he can do to stop it. The scenes in which he first realizes he's growing smaller are genuinely unsettling and the inspiring ending says a lot about self-worth.

#8. Invasion of the Saucer Men -- This bit of cinematic cotton candy is a hoot. Yes, there's Frank Gorshin as a 30-something teenager mugging at the camera. But more importantly, there are those little cabbage-headed aliens who have needles for fingers with which they inject pure alcohol into poor unsuspecting humans. Yes, it's a comedy. So sit back and enjoy the ride. Especially when the earth is saved from this little alien invasion by a cow and some car headlights. #9. The Curse of Frankenstein -- Here comes the Hammer Horror factory we know and love. This is the first color Hammer gothic and the film that catapulted Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee to international stardom. It's the film that MADE a studio. #10. I Was A Teenage Werewolf -- Teenaged Michael Landon is manipulated by evil adult Whit Bissell who channels the youth's hormone-fueled juvenile delinquency into lycanthropy. Why? Who cares! The ultimate teenage horror flick.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

THE FIRST COMMISSIONED ARMY OFFICER REFUSES TO GO TO IRAQ ON THE GROUNDS THAT THE WAR IS ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL. First Lieutenant Ehren Watada, a commissioned officer in the United States Army who served with distinction in Korea, refused orders for deployment to Iraq on June 7th stating: "My participation would make me party to war crimes." 1st Lt. Watada further elaborated on his decision: ""It is my conclusion as an officer of the armed forces that the war in Iraq is not only morally wrong but a horrible breach of American law. Although I have tried to resign out of protest, I am forced to participate in a war that is manifestly illegal. As the order to take part in an illegal act is ultimately unlawful as well, I must as an officer of honor and integrity refuse that order." Watada's claims that the war is both illegal and immoral under both U.S. and international law is actually quite solid. The United Nations officially declared the war illegal in 2004 and the Geneva Convention and Nuremberg laws both forbid wars of aggression; which the war in Iraq has to be since there were no WMDs found and consequently not the slightest threat to the U.S. existed. Lt. Watada also points out that the war is in direct violation of the Constitution and War Powers Act which "limits the President in his role as commander in chief from using the armed forces in any way he sees fit." Since Watada has sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States during his Army oath, my moral and legal obligation is to the Constitution and not to those who would issue unlawful orders." Sadly, the Lt. will not have a public trial but a military court judged by Army officers who will most likely court-martial and similarly punish Watada for exercising his first amendment rights as a citizen of the United States of America (which, even though he is in the military, he is still entitled to do). Not only is the guy standing up for all our rights as American citizens, 1st Lt. Watada is also standing up for the thousands of U.S. military personnel who have lost their lives so far.
Even more sadly is the fact that doing what you believe is right usually comes at a high cost. Watada is faced with a 2 year prison sentence for refusing to go to Iraq as well as a 4 year sentence for "conduct unbecoming" for having the gall to publicly voice his beliefs. This second charge is patently ridiculous since, unless you voice contempt for the President/government or incite to sedition, you are within your rights to voice your opinions on the war or any other subject. The judge in the case, however has already thrown out any reference to the Nuremberg laws (which states that it is perfectly lawful and expected to disobey an order when you believe it to be unlawful) and has also denied Watada EVERY SINGLE WITNESS the defense wanted to call in his behalf. Boing Boing goes the kangaroo court. Watada's fate is pretty much sealed and the term "military justice" proves once again to be an oxymoron. The 1st Lieutenant's military career is most certainly over, his life (if not totally ruined) will at least take a huge knock, and he will probably spend time in prison (though nowhere near 6 years, I don't think) and we get further and further away from the principles upon which this country was founded.
THE EITHER/OR QUIZ: You've seen it before but take the quiz that's written by someone who loves you. Me. Here's the drill: Each line will have two things listed with the word "or" between them. It is your job to choose which of the two you prefer/like best. You have to answer every question; even if you despise both choices, just choose the one you despise LEAST. If you absolutely have no idea what either thing is, you get a pass. As always, you can leave your answers as a comment and teacher will grade you. My answers can be found in the comments as well. Have fun. Okey dokey artichokey, here we goesey:
1. Boxers or briefs? 2. Bert or Ernie? 3. Laverne or Shirley? 4. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones 5. Frankenstein or Dracula (the books) 6. Frankenstein or Dracula (The 1931 movies) 7. The Godfather Part I or The Godfather Part 2 8. Star Trek or Star Wars? 9. Alton Brown or Rachel Ray? 10. The Sex Pistols or The Clash? 11. Twister or Independence Day (the movies) 12. Bela Lugosi or Boris Karloff? 13. Superman or Batman? 14. The Flintstones or Scooby-Doo? 15. Ella Fitzgerald or Sarah Vaughan? 16. Bath or Shower? 17. Day or Night? 18. Dogs or Cats? 19. Marvel Comics or DC Comics? 20. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? 21. The Fantastic Four or The X-Men? 22. The Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family? 23. Spring or Fall? 24. Elmo or Grover? 25. Britney Spears or a kick to the head? 26. Elton John or Billy Joel? 27. Chocolate or Vanilla? 28. Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin? 29. Coke or Pepsi? 30. Cake or Pie? 31. Pen or Pencil? 32. Ralph Waldo Emerson or Henry David Thoreau? 33. Monsters Inc. or Finding Nemo? 34. Baseball or Football? 35. Coffee or Tea? 36. Potato Chips or Pretzels? 37. Pirate or Viking? 38. Gone With the Wind or Casablanca? 39. Little Richard or Chuck Berry? 40. Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon or Humphrey Bogart in The African Queen?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!!! Would you share a table with this lass?!?!? Poor Vicky's eating all alone. She looks so glum!!! I think she needs some friends to keep her company. Some FAMOUS friends. We USED to be friends a long time ago. Ah AH ah ah ah. . .ah AH ah ah ah. After all, we all do it . . . no matter HOW famous we become. Eat food, I mean. OK, maybe not the majority of Hollywood starlets but the REST of us. Come on now, sugah! Bring it on bring it on, yeah. Surely there's SOME famous friends who would like to eat lunch with poor Vicky. Oh look, here come some now. Here's Vicky's friend Buffy enjoying an ice cream cone and a dye job. And look, can you believe that hobbit's eating sushi at Vicky's table. The nerve! (Can Evangeline Lilly REALLY still be planning on marrying this guy?!?!?) Awww, and isn't Johnny Knox cute with his...what is that??? A horse piss water ice, probably. Oh yeah, and these two. . .??? I mean, who's gonna believe the Monkey mean Olsen twins are ACTUALLY eating something?!?!? OH COME ON!!! Can't fool me, girls. Can a publicity/rumour control picture look ANY MORE OBVIOUSLY STAGED?!?! Well, it looks like Thom Yorke decided to grab an ice cream cone too after seeing Buffy's. Better watch it, Thom -- you're starting to pack on the weight, dude. Geez, soon you'll be hitting 100 lbs.!!! Last but not least, you can't tell me that Robbie Williams gets THAT chunky eating microscopic sandwiches like the one that's in front of him. I actually think the nameless broad next to him is going to eat that sandwich while Robbie MUST have a vat of marshmallow Fluff-infused lard hidden underneath the table. Oh well, at least Vicky doesn't have to eat alone now.
SHALAMAR?!?!?!?!?!? You are the SWEETEST MAN!!!! Or in French: "?!?!? de Shalamar Vous êtes l'homme le plus doux !" Or in Spanish: "?!?!? de Shalamar ¡Usted es el hombre más dulce! Or in German: "Shalamar?!?!? Sie sind der süsseste Mann! Or in Portugese: "?!?!? de Shalamar Você é o homem o mais doce! Or in Italian: "?!?!? di Shalamar Siete l'uomo più dolce!" Killer impression, Ms. Henri.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

CERPTSEY'S PORTABLE ART GALLERY. As a public service (and because I'm a heckuva nice guy) I've provided a refrigerator door of cyberspace to display some of the wonderful artwork featured on the granddaddy of all pulp magazine from the 1920's onward: WEIRD TALES! Feast your eyes (and don't forget to click on the pictures to see them EVEN BIGGER!

Friday, January 05, 2007

THIS MONTH'S EYE CANDY: ELEANOR POWELL (Gee, look how surprised she looks to be chosen)! The greatest female dancer in the history of motion pictures already! Don't give me none of this Ginger Rogers crap! Ginger and Rita Hayworth danced beautifully, of course. Romantic slow dancing. But there was only one woman who could match Fred Astaire (the greatest male dancer in motion picture history natch) tap for tap. The only time they danced together was in "The Broadway Melody of 1940" but their "Begin the Beguine" dance routine illustrates with crystal clarity that Eleanor was Fred's equal in every way. Combine that with her other movies (and there weren't THAT many, sadly) including Honolulu, Ship Ahoy (Sinatra's film debut), The Broadway Melody of 1936 AND 1938 (in which little Judy Garland sang "Please Mr. Gable/You Made Me Love You" for the first time) and you've got a film career which shows us quality over quantity. I first became STUNNED and majorly impressed with Eleanor Powell in the 80's when I saw her dancing in a clip from one of the "That's Entertainment" movies. I'd never HEARD of her before; let along SEEN her. She FLOORED me. It was only AFTER I had become obsessed with finding all her movies that I was informed by my grandmother Happy Bottom that HER father (my GREAT grandfather) had also loved Eleanor Powell and had run down to Atlantic City every time she appeared there. Wow, can the hots be genetic?!?!? Anyway, the site of Eleanor Powell dancing barefoot in a grass skirt is enough to send ANYBODY over the edge, I assure you. So here's to the late, great Eleanor Powell. When she finally passed through those pearly gates, you know that instead of a set of wings she was given a pair of gold tap shoes!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

THE 2006 PENGUIN AWARDS: DAH WINNAZ!!!! Here they are. Sorry I can't offer the winners even so much as a toaster oven. They'll just have to bask in the glow of victory. Here they are: SONG OF THE YEAR: All These Things I've Done - The Killers ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Virtually - Terra Naomi COVER SONG OF THE YEAR: Since I've Been Loving You - Corinne Bailey Rae DUET OF THE YEAR: Cinnamon Girl - Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs ALBUM COVER ART: Aerial - Kate Bush MASH-UP OF THE YEAR: Wrapped Detective - Mark Vidler (Go Home Productions)