The Land of Cerpts and Honey

2012-01-29T11:41:00.003-05:00

THIS IS THE 1000th POST IN THE LAND OF CERPTS AND HONEY. The very sentence itself seems completely surreal but its true. In the seven years since I began this blog, I've been posting whatever interested me at the time -- and those of you reading this now were kind enough to visit over the years when something interested you. For that alone, I am very grateful and I hope I've managed to give you a chuckle or present an interesting fact or two. If this 1000th post can be called anything like a "milestone", I feel I would like to dedicate it to one person whom I think first started me on this road. In 1983, my first job was at Rustler Steak House and my first boss was Cindy. After only about three months on the job, Cindy suggested that I might want to start writing a weekly newsletter. I had putzed around writing for most of my life but I never considered writing for a deadline. Yet here I was, taking the plunge and consenting to writing a weekly two-page-minimum (but usually longer) newsletter to be read by all my co-workers and bosses. That newsletter ran from 1983 until the store closed in 1986. Throughout that time, Cindy was nothing but completely encouraging and supportive towards me; I really don't know if I'd be doing this blog or any of the other writing I've done (which include being twice published in national magazines) if it hadn't been for her early support. So, there you have it -- a place to lay the credit or the blame! In my eyes, writing has been both an excruciatingly arduous process and an immensely fulfilling one which probably has kept me sane all these years. I am extremely grateful to her. Right now, Cindy is in the process of leaving us. I wish with all my heart there was something I could do or anything I could write to erase that bitter fact. In this case, words are powerless. Cindy is in hospice care without pain and resting thankfully. Her endless capacity for helping others and putting them before herself is at an end but all the people she's helped and who love her would form a line which would stretch as far as the eye can see until it disappeared over the horizon into the sun. Cindy, as you prepare to take that step over that sunny horizon, none of us will forget what you've done for us over the years and how much you've meant to every last one of us. With a heart overflowing with love and gratitude, I dedicate this 1000th post to your unconquerable spirit and your endless giving heart. With love and mittens, Your Rickster Rick

2012-01-29T11:04:00.026-05:00

EVEN SUPER-HEROES HAVE TO EAT! And when they do, whether they head for the kitchens of the JLA Satellite or Avengers Mansion, they've gotta have a recipe to guide them. Both DC and Marvel long-underwear types produced their own super cookbooks back in the day and here's some of the choicest morsels from them:

2012-01-15T15:29:00.011-05:00

ANOTHER SPLENDID PAPERBACK COVER GALLERY - THIS TIME FEATURING THE FANTASTIC ART OF FRANK BENIER featured in the newest issue of The Paperback Fanatic. In the early sixties, Australia's pulp paperback house Horwitz published a series of horror anthologies I'd kill to have. All the striking cover art was done by cartoonist/painter Frank Benier and they're some of the best I've seen. Here they are in all their gory glory:

TALES OF TERROR (1961, Charles Higham, ed.)

WEIRD STORIES (1961, Charles Higham, ed.)

TALES OF HORROR (1962, Charles Higham, ed.)

THE CURSE OF DRACULA (1962, Charles Higham, ed.)

SPINE-TINGLING TALES (1962, Charles Higham, ed.)

NIGHTMARE TALES (1962, Charles Higham, ed.)

SHOCK STORIES (1962, James Workman)

TERRIFYING TALES (1963, James Workman)

HORROR TALES (1963, James Workman)

2012-01-15T11:13:00.003-05:00

DREAMER

"I don't suppose I'll ever see
A dryad slipping from her tree
Nor hear the pulsing pipes of Pan
(although at times I think I can)
Nor see the moon-nymphs dance at night
And yet perhaps . . . perhaps I might.
I watch the waves break on the rocks
And, in between the thundered shocks
I think that I can almost hear
The sirens singing sweet and clear.
Sometimes the shadows on a tree
Like dappled fauns appear to me
And once beside a blue lagoon
Beneath a witching tropic moon
I saw the flash of silver scales
(the kind that grow on mermaid's tails)
I don't suppose I'll ever see
These things that mean so much to me
But if I watch by night, by day,
You cannot tell . . . perhaps I may."

-- Don Blanding, 1928

2012-01-13T14:34:00.010-05:00

LO AND BEHOLD! THE NEW ISSUE OF THE PAPERBACK FANATIC IS OUT (#21) which is cause enough for celebration. However, it gets better when the lead article is a (albeit brief) examination of the ultra-collectible Corinth-Regency paperbacks reprinting classic pulp stories from the 1930s. Now I don't profess to own any of these paperbacks but I do own a few of the pulp replicas from which they were taken: notably the DOCTOR DEATH stories (all of 'em) and a volume of several of the SECRET AGENT X pulps as well. The 1960s Corinth-Regency paperbacks however featured some really tasty new cover art and a particular favourite of mine is the series of 7 SECRET AGENT X covers by the legendary Robert Bonfils and I thought I'd post a complete gallery of 'em here for your viewing pleasure. I highly recommend the newest (and every) issue of THE PAPERBACK FANATIC but you probably will have a hard time finding it since Justin only prints enough to fulfill his advance orders and issues immediately go out of print. But it's well worth tracking down and subscribing to over at www.thepaperbackfanatic.com . And now for the covers:

THE TORTURE TRUST

SERVANTS OF THE SKULL

CURSE OF THE MANDARIN'S FAN

CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

OCTOPUS OF CRIME

THE DEATH-TORCH TERROR THE SINISTER SCOURGE

How tasty wuz them?!?

2012-01-04T00:43:00.006-05:00

"YOU ARE WHAT IT EATS": That's the blurb on the Swedish DVD for the surprisingly terrific South Korean monster movie THE HOST (2006). THE HOST was the highest-grossing Korean film of all time so naturally most insular Americans have probably never heard of it. But for the uninitiated, this is a rarity: a good old-fashioned monster on the loose movie which also excells in both post-modern snarky humour AND deftly drawn characterisations amongst disfunctional family dynamics. Basically, it's one great ride. The story opens in a morgue where the nasty-piece-of-work American doctor running the places tells his South Korean assistant that if there's one thing he can't stand, it's dust. And ALL the bottles of formaldehyde et. al. are covered in dust. So he haughtily commands his assistant to dump them ALL down the drain. The assistant meekly protests that the toxic chemicals will go into the Han River and pollute it. "The Han River is very broad", says the patronizing US doc, "and I need you to think. . .broadly," He commands his assistant to pour every last drop down the drain; which he obediently does. A really nice touch for movie buffs is the casting of Scott Wilson as the obnoxious morgue doctor; Wilson, of course, starred in THE NINTH CONFIGURATION and is now currently appearing in the AMC zombie series "THE WALKING DEAD". I am a huge fan of Scott Wilson and this casting was boocoo appreciated, I can assure you. Switch to later when two fishermen standing in the Han River notice a strange, mutant-type tentacly creature swimming by. One fisherman catches it in his cup but drops it and it swims away. If this was a US film, it would've been a redneck fisherman saying "Hmm, t'ain't never seed nuthin' the likes o'that 'round these here parts, Jebediah". Shades of monsters to come! But it's time for a time shift to the Park family.

As wacky families go, the Parks are almost up there with Takashi Miike's Katakuris! Sixty-something Park Hie-bong (Hie-bong Byeon) runs a snack/convenience store right off the Han River along with his 3 adult children and one granddaughter. Forty something Park Gang-Du (Kang-ho Song) has dyed blonde hair and has the habit of falling asleep at the most inopportune moments due (apparently) to his lack of protein as a child. (You just have to run with the bizarre, surreal nature of these plot points because they're done knowingly for comic affect). Gang-Du's wife "popped out" their daughter Park Hyun-seo (Ah-sung Ko) and promptly abandoned them both. The other two adult children are Olympic archery medalist daughter Park Nam-Joo (Doona Bae) and grumbling, unemployed son Park Nam-il (Hae-il Park). One bright and sunny day, pedestrians along the Han River notice a strange, gloopy mass hanging from the bottom of a suspension bridge. At first the people assume the sludgy mass is something from an oil spill but when the object falls into the river and seems to swim towards them underwater, they assume it's some sort of sea creature. As the crowd throws soda cans and snacks at the underwater mass, the creature swims away. However, moments later a crowd in the distance begins running towards them pursued by a large dark object about the size of an elephant or rhino. As they get closer, the bystanders can see it's some sort of monster which closes the distance and starts munching on anyone unlucky enough to get in its path. Blonde-haired slacker Gang-Du is among the crowd and alternately runs away and helps a US G.I. belt the creature with a heavy street sign. Much carnage and mayhem (and murdered bystanders) ensues in a truly terrific action scene. Suddenly, Gang-Du notices his daughter Hyun-seo is outside in the crowd. He grabs her hand and runs with her but they fall down in the crowd. Regaining his feet, he grabs her hand again and runs . . . but when he turns his head he sees he has grabbed some OTHER little girl's hand. He looks back in the crowd and sees his daughter standing there with the hideous monster bounding up behind her. Before he can act, a long serpent-like tail whips around and snatches the little girl up. The monster then plunges into the river and swims to the opposite bank where it pops Hyun-seo into its mouth and then swims away. As said previously, this is one heck of a scene. As the community (including the Parks) mourn their dead at a public memorial, the Korean police and military in hazmat suits arrive and inform everyone that the monster was carrying a deadly virus. Anyone who came in direct contact with the beast is taken away to a government quarantine site -- this includes the Park family. While in the hospital ward, Gang-Du receives a telephone call. The signal is faint and the call is full of static -- but the voice of a young girl says she's his daughter Hyun-seo and that she's somewhere deep. . .and dark. Is the girl still alive? None of the authorities believe him. The rest of the film deals with the Parks frantic efforts to find where Hyun-seo was calling from and rescue her; all this while on the run from the authorites.

Director Joon-ho Bong has made a cracking monster yarn in the best tradition of Godzilla and every Ray Harryhausen dynamotion flick ever made. Of course, in this day and age, the monster is CGI'd and it must be admitted that the only a microbe less believeable than any Hollywood-made computer graphics. It's a completely effective job in almost every respect and is actually better computer graphics than I've seen in one or two so-called Hollywood blockbusters. Like Godzilla movies which slipped in warnings about the dangers of atomic radiation, THE HOST slips in the very green message concerning the pitfalls of polluting the environment; if you don't dispose of your toxic products properly you might get giant man-eating fish monsters! So watch yourself! Once again it should be noted that the director manages to combine scary monster action with sometimes surreal/sometimes wacky humour and genuinely touching emotional moments. This is no horror comedy but the laughs are perfectly integrated into the film without ruining the other aspects of scares and drama. It just so happens that right before I watched THE HOST, I watched the original JURASSIC PARK for the first time. Of the two, I would have to say I enjoyed THE HOST much, much more. JURASSIC PARK was . . .well, OK I guess but I truly don't see what all the fuss was about. Granted, the film is almost 20 years old now and perhaps you had to be there. But I found THE HOST to be much more involving and enjoyable a film. I can see why it was so successful in South Korea; it was tailor-made to put bums in the seats and sell sell SELL that popcorn. But THE HOST is much more than just that; it is also a surprisingly rich film that truly has surprises around every corner where what often happens truly IS unexpected. Apparently (but not surprisingly) a sequel was made in 2011 (which I haven't seen) which sadly does not see the return of director Joon-ho Bong. This is a pity because i think a great deal of the first film's success can be placed at the director's doorstep. The good news is that THE HOST is available to rent from whatever movie service to which you might belong so I heartily recommend you seek it out.

2011-12-27T10:14:00.000-05:00

2011-12-27T02:38:00.003-05:00

THE BUTCHER'S BILL 2011. As the old year wanes, it's time once again to reflect on those notable celebrities who dropped off the twig this year.

Verne Langdon, record producer/makeup artist "An Evening with Boris Karloff & Friends"
Margot Stevenson, actress "The Shadow"
Pete Postelthwaite, actor "The Usual Suspects", "The Shipping News"
Anne Francis, actress "Forbidden Planet"
Jill Haworth, actress "Tower of Evil"
Gerry Rafferty, singer "Baker Street"
Aron Kincaid, actor "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini"
Peter Yates, director "Bullitt"
Margaret Whiting, singer
David Nelson, actor "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"
Paul Picerni, actor "The Untouchables"
Dr. Creep, TV horror host
Susannah York, actress "Superman", "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"
Don Kirshner, record producer
Sargent Shriver, politician
Jack LaLanne, TV fitness expert
Charlie Louvin, singer "The Louvin Brothers"
Charlie Callas, comedian
John Barry, film composer "The Lion In Winter", "Somewhere In Time"
Charles Sellier, film producer
Maria Schneider, actress "Last Tango In Paris"
Tura Satana, actress "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill"
Lena Nyman, actress "Autumn Sonata"
Gary Moore, guitarist "Thin Lizzy"
Donald S. Sanford, screenwriter "Boris Karloff's Thriller"
Kenneth Mars, actor "The Producers", "Young Frankenstein"
Betty Garrett, actress "Laverne & Shirley", "All In the Family"
T.P. McKenna, actor "Callan", "Doctor Who"
George Shearing, pianist
David F. Friedman, producer "Blood Feast"
Len Lesser, actor "Seinfeld"
Nicholas Courtney, actor "Doctor Who"
Suze Rotolo, artist / cover model "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"
Rick Coonce, drummer "The Grass Roots"
Jane Russell, actress "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"
Johnny Preston, singer "Running Bear"
Mike Starr, bassist "Alice In Chains"
St. Clair Lee, musician "Hues Corporation"
Hugh Martin, songwriter "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"
Ronnie Hammond, singer "Atlantic Rhythm Section"
Ferlin Husky, singer
Michael Gough, actor "Dr. Terror's House of Horrors", "Batman"
Jet Harris, musician "The Shadows"
Warren Christopher, former Secretary of State
Dorothy Young, actress/assistant to Harry Houdini
Pinetop Perkins, musician
Elizabeth Taylor, actress
Richard Leacock, director "Monterey Pop"
Diana Wynne Jones, author "Howl's Moving Castle"
Geraldine Ferraro, politician
H.R.F. Keating, author
Farley Granger, actor "Strangers On A Train", "Rope", "Senso"
Scott Columbus, drummer "Manowar"
Sidney Lumet, director "12 Angry Men"
Arthur Marx, author/son of Groucho Marx
Sol Saks, screenwriter "Bewitched"
Trevor Bannister, actor "Are You Being Served?"
Michael Sarrazin, actor "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"
Elisabeth Sladen, actress "Doctor Who", "The Sarah Jane Adventures"
Madelyn Pugh Davis, screenwriter "The Mothers-In-Law", "I Love Lucy"
Marie-France Pisier, actress "The Other Side of Midnight"
Poly Styrene, singer "X-Ray Spex"
Phoebe Snow, singer "Poetry Man"
William Campbell, actor "Dementia 13", "Star Trek"
Yvette Vickers, actress
Sada Thompson, actress "Family"
Arthur Laurents, screenwriter
Dana Wynter, actress "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"
John Walker, musician "The Walker Brothers"
Dolores Fuller, actress "Glen or Glenda"
Norma Zimmer, singer "The Lawrence Welk Show", "The Champagne Lady"
Edward Hardwicke, actor "Sherlock Holmes", "Shadowlands"
Leonard Kastle, writer/director "The Honeymoon Killers"
Kathy Kirby, singer
Randy Savage, wrestler "Macho Man"
Bill Hunter, actor "Gallipoli"
Hughette Clark, heiress
Jeff Conaway, actor "Taxi", "Grease"
Gil Scott-Heron, singer "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised"
Clarice Taylor, actress "The Cosby Show"
Harry Redmond Jr., special effects artist "King Kong"
Dr. Jack Kevorkian, activist
James Arness, actor "The Thing from Another World", "Them"
Andrew Gold, singer "Halloween Howls", "Lonely Boy"
Lilian Jackson Braun, author "Cat Who series"
Leonard B. Stern, writer/director/c0-creator of Mad Libs "The Honeymooners", "Get Smart"
Roy Skelton, voice actor "Doctor Who"
Gunnar Fischer, cinematographer "The Seventh Seal", "Wild Strawberries"
Jeff Jones, comic book artist
Charlotte Joko Beck, author "Everyday Zen"
Wild Man Fischer, singer "Young at Heart", "My Name Is Larry"
Clarence Clemons, musician "Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band"
Ryan Dunn, stuntman "Jackass"
Mike Waterson, singer "The Watersons"
Fred Steiner, composer "Star Trek", "Twilight Zone"
Peter Falk, actor "Columbo"
Gene Colan, comic book artist "Tomb of Dracula", "Captain America"
Alice Playten, actress
Martin H. Greenberg, anthologist
Elaine Stewart, actress "The Bad and the Beautiful"
Jimmy Roselli, singer
Anna Massey, actress "Peeping Tom", "Vault of Horror"
Betty Ford, US First Lady
Michael "Wurzel" Burton, musician "Motorhead"
Patricia "Mrs. Noah" Merbreier, actress "Captain Noah"
Sherwood Schwartz, TV producer "The Brady Bunch", "Gilligan's Island"
Googie Withers, actress "Dead of Night", "It Always Rains on Sunday"
Amy Winehouse, singer "Back To Black"
G.D. Spradlin, actor "The Godfather Part II"
Michael Cacoyannis, director "The Trojan Women"
Robert Edwards, anthropology professor "Glassboro State College"
Polly Platt, producer/screenwriter "Say Anything...", "Targets"
Gene McDaniels, singer
John Wood, actor "WarGames"
Bubba Smith, athlete/actor
Jimmy Sangster, screenwriter/director "Horror of Dracula"
Jerry Lieber, songwriter "Hound Dog"
Richard Svehla, managing editor "Midnight Marquee"
Nick Ashford, singer/songwriter "Ashford & Simpson"
Joey Vento, founder & owner "Geno's Steaks"
David "Honeyboy" Edwards, singer
Cliff Robertson, actor "Spider-Man"
Frances Bay, actress "In the Mouth of Madness"
David Croft, writer/producer "Are You Being Served?", "Dad's Army"
Steve Jobs, inventer/CEO "Apple"
Diane Cilento, actress "The Wicker Man"
Charles Napier, actor "The Blues Brothers", "Star Trek"
Bert Jansch, musician
Sylvia Robinson, singer "Love Is Strange"
George Baker, actor "I Claudius", "The Prisoner"
Al Davis, owner "Oakland Raiders"
Roger Williams, pianist
Patricia Breslin, actress "Twilight Zone - Nick of Time"
Pete Rugolo, orchestra leader/composer
Norman Corwin, radio writer/producer
Tom Keith, comedian "A Prairie Home Companion"
Richard Gordon, producer
Andy Rooney, TV journalist "60 Minutes"
Les Daniels, author "Living In Fear"
Margaret Field, actress "The Man From Planet X"
Joe Frazier, boxer
Heavy D, rapper
Ricky Hui, actor "Mr. Vampire"
Bil Keane, cartoonist "Family Circle"
Dulcie Gray, actress/author
Gary Carcia, musician "Buckner & Garcia", "Pac-Man Fever"
John Neville, actor "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"
Anne McCaffrey, author "The Dragonriders of Pern"
Ken Russell, director
Svetlana Alliluyeva, author/daughter of Josef Stalin
Dobie Gray, singer "Drift Away"
Harry Morgan, actor "M*A*S*H*"
Jerry Robinson, comic book artist "Batman"
Harold Hopkins, actor "Gallipoli"
Susan Gordon, actress "Twilight Zone - The Fugitive"
Alberto de Mendoza, actor "Horror Express"
Joe Simon, comic book writer "Captain America"
Eduardo Barreto, comic book artist "New Teen Titans"
Kim Jong-Il, silly North Korean leader
Cesaria Evora, singer "Sao Vincente de Longe"
Ronnie Wolf, screenwriter "On the Buses"
Ralph MacDonald, songwriter "Where Is the Love", "Just the Two of Us"
Vaclav Havel, playwright/Czech President
Don Sharp, director "Kiss of the Vampire", "Callan"
Pedro Armendariz Jr., actor "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"

2011-12-27T01:23:00.006-05:00

THE WINNERS OF THE 2011 PENGUIN AWARDS!

***

SONG OF THE YEAR

SONG OF YESTERDAY - Black Country Communion

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

50 WORDS FOR SNOW - Kate Bush

COVER SONG OF THE YEAR

WORDS OF LOVE - Patti Smith

DUET OF THE YEAR

SNOWFLAKE - Kate Bush & Albert McIntosh

BEST COVER ART

WORSHIP MUSIC - Anthrax

2011-12-24T08:35:00.014-05:00

THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS . . .MOVIES. Hark the herald dvd player spins bringing to us some yuletide viewing pleasure. If I were to have my druthers (and when do I not) and I could programme 12 movies I'd want to see around Christmas time, this is the list I'd compile. And in this viewing order, too.

MIRACLE ON 34th STREET (1947) - So sue me, it's a classic. Starting off on Thanksgiving Day with the Macy's parade, the perfect traditional lead-in to the holidays. Oscar-winner Edmund Gwenn, the heavenly Maureen O'Hara, precocious Natalie Wood, stalwart John Payne and even a career-making cameo by Thelma Ritter. How can you go wrong?
CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT (1945) - A favourite from my kiddie days. Barbara Stanwyck is a "perfect homemaker column" writer who doesn't know pen and paper from pots and pans; she gets stuck into faking an "old-fashioned Christmas at home" when her boss and a returning G.I. invite themselves to her house in the country. Great cast includes Sydney Greenstreet, Dennis Morgan, S.Z. Sakall (remember him from CASABLANCA?), Una O'Connor (remember her from BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN?) and more.
THE BISHOP'S WIFE (1947) - Bishop David Niven and his wife Loretta Young are having problems until angel Cary Grant shows up to put things right at Christmas. Monty Wooley, Gladys Cooper, Elsa Lanchester and James Gleason are featured in the cast.
DESK SET (1957) - I usually watch this movie every Christmas. Katharine Hepburn heads the research department at a television studio and efficiency expert/electronic brain inventor Spencer Tracy starts snooping around. Love those fifties! Joan Blondell and Gig Young add to the stellar cast. This movie might make "pudding in a cloud" a Christmas staple with me!
WE'RE NO ANGELS (1955) - Three escaped prisoners from Devil's Island plan to rob a store but instead end up helping the store's beleaguered family when the owner threatens to toss them out in the street. Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray and Peter Ustinov are the convicts, Basil Rathbone is the stingy owner and Leo G. Carroll & Joan Bennett are the put-upon storekeepers.
DIE HARD (1988) - Nothing says Christmas like blowing up shit! And scrunching your toes into the carpet helps a lot too. Bruce Willis gets the snot beat outta him by Alan Rickman and his band of do-badders.
THE LION IN WINTER (1968) - It's Christmas in 1183 and we're all barbarians! A festive family medieval Christmas with Peter O'Toole as King Henry II and Katharine Hepburn as Eleanor of Acquitaine and a family who are at each others throats: Anthony Hopkins, John Castle, Nigel Terry (later to play King Arthur in EXCALIBUR), Timothy Dalton and Jane Merrow fill out this stupendous film's cast.
NOBODY'S FOOL (1994) - One of my favourite Paul Newman films. This takes place from Thanksgiving through Christmas and features Paul Newman's Sully; who can never seem to do anything right. Jessica Tandy, Bruce Willis, Melanie Griffith also star.
THE HOUSE WITHOUT A CHRISTMAS TREE (1972) - I first saw this TV movie as a kid when it first aired and it haunted the back of my mind until I found it on VHS sometime in the late 1980s. Jason Robards stars as a father who refuses to allow a Christmas tree in the house because the loss of his wife. However, his daughter and his mother decide to work on him and change his mind. The wonderful Mildred Natwick also stars.
TRU (1992) - This filmed stage play aired on PBS's "American Playhouse" and showcases Robert Morse's magnificent one-man show portraying Truman Capote during Christmas 1975 when his rich and powerful friends ostracized the author for the publication of "ANSWERED PRAYERS".
PETER'S FRIENDS (1992) - A group of friends are invited to Peter's country estate between Christmas and New Year's. Much more than just "the British Big Chill", the cast includes Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Imelda Staunton, Phyllida Law and co-writer Rita Rudner.
A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983) - The old perennial. How can one escape it? Amazingly enough, no matter how many times I see it, I still laugh. And Darren McGavin shows what a real father SHOULD be like.

Also rans: WHITE CHRISTMAS (1954), IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946), HOLIDAY INN (1942), SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964), ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS (1955) and BELL, BOOK AND CANDLE (1958).

2011-12-20T16:45:00.009-05:00

IF YOU MEET SARTANA, PRAY FOR YOUR DEATH (1968) aka "Se incontri Sartana prega per la tua morte" is the first in a series of spaghetti westerns featuring the enigmatic, black-clad wanderer Sartana (played wonderfully by Gianni Garko). Directed by Gianfranco Parolini on a shoestring, "SARTANA" became one of the most successful and influential of Italian westerns helping to push the genre more towards a "tongue-in-cheek" attitude (which would sadly eventually degenerate into parody). Obviously influenced by Sergio Leone's "Dollars" movies, Sartana had his own catchphrase he would give to those he was about to kill: "I am your pallbearer". The plot of this film is filled with twists and turns and may require several viewings before you get a grasp on it. First a stagecoach carrying a strongbox full of gold is robbed by a gang who is then attacked and killed by Morgan (Klaus Kinski) and his gang. However, Sartana shows up and kills all of Morgan's gang except Morgan who escapes. It is discovered that the strongbox is actually just full of rocks! A group of town bigwigs including a politician and bank manager (Sydney Chaplin and Gianni Rizzo) are trying to perpetrate an insurance fraud by having a Mexican gang led by General Don Jose Manuel Francisco Mendoza Montezuma de la Plata (make sure you get that name right, pardner!!!) aka "Tampico" (Fernando Sancho) steal the strongbox. Another stagecoach is robbed by the Mexican gang but is which is then killed by Lasky (William Berger) who tells his gang to meet up with him later. Lasky then has his now-partner Morgan go off to kill Sartana after losing all his money to the enigmatic stranger in a card game. Morgan tries. Morgan fails. Lasky collects a gang to go kill Sartana but the gang is in turn killed and Lasky gets away. Lasky blackmails the bigwigs who in turn tell Tampico that it was Lasky who killed the Mexican gang. Tampico captures Lasky and beats the snot out of him so he will reveal the real location of the gold. Lasky tells them that only Sartana knows. And on and on and on. There are plot twists and turns about every five minutes and everybody is double-crossing everybody else and it all adds up to a fun spaghetti western. Gianni Garko makes a great anti-hero as Sartana. Besides his dark attire, Sartana is also given a 007-like gadget (director Parolini was a fan) of a four-barreled derringer with a playing card cylinder which fakes out shot-counting opponents by giving Sartana more shots than he should have. Klaus Kinski's character is given the nicely flamboyant touch of having little bells attached to his spurs while Sartana himself frequently opens a musical watch to unnerve his victims. The entire film was shot in the Lazio area near Rome and the hacienda belonging to Tampico is actually a villa once owned by Mussolini! There would be four more official Sartana movies with all but one starring Garko. These sequels would be lighter in tone (leading to the eventual deterioration into parody of the genre) as directed by Giuliano Carnimeo. This trend would eventually lead cheeky fans to alter the title of the first Sartara movie to 'Se incontri Sartana, digli che è un stronzo' which means "If you meet Sartana, tell him he's an asshole!" Ah, the fickle fancy of genre fans.

2011-12-20T13:35:00.005-05:00

ASPETTA . . . "NAPOLI VIOLENTA" (1976) aka VIOLENT NAPLES aka DEATH DEALERS is one of the better of the Italian "poliziesco" genre. The "poliziesco" is an Italian crime film which flourished in the sixties and seventies alongside the even more popular "spaghetti western" and "giallo" genres. Many of the directors of polizieschi also simultaneously turned out movies in these other genres as well. VIOLENT NAPLES director Umberto Lenzi is a case in point; he also directed gialli like "SEVEN BLOODSTAINED ORCHIDS" (1972) and cannibal horror movies such as "THE MAN FROM DEEP RIVER" (1972) and the later "CANNIBAL FEROX" (1981). in VIOLENT NAPLES, Lenzi declares himself to be a master at the action film in a movie which rarely slows down for a second.

A "Dirty Harry"-like cop named Commisioner Betti (Italian genre hero Maurizio Merli) arrives in Naples to take on the mob. Almost immediately, an affluent couple are robbed and the wife raped by a couple of hoods working for mafia boss The General (Barry Sullivan). There is also a mob financier named Capuano (John Saxon) who double-crosses the boss, a protection racket terrorizing local business owners and a bank robber named Casagrande (Elio Zamuto) who is secretly knocking over banks all over Naples. Casagrande is out on parole and has to sign in at the police station every day at 1pm; he robs the bank at a few minutes before 1 and then hops on the back of a motorcycle (driven by an actual Italian motorbike champion) who whisks him through Naples at breakneck speed so that he'll appear at the police station at 1 thereby making the police his alibi. Commissioner Betti spends the movie roughing up crooks while his superior complains about his methods. The General and Capuano spend the film double crossing each other. The protection racket smashes shop windows and torches garages. One fleeing hood impales himself through the chin on a wrought-iron fence, a father is burned to death while his son is crippled by the protection racket, a 68 year old woman is pushed down a flight of stairs by muggers, and a man is killed with a bowling ball! (Here Barry Sullivan's strike is about to meet stoolie's face!) This is a gritty and violent movie but not in an overly unpleasant way; the violence is not graphic (by today's standards) and the action is kept at a high pace so that you never get bogged down in the details. Particularly thrilling is the motorcycle footage shot from on the bike itself throughout the actual streets of Naples with the notorious Italian traffic making for a pulse-poundingly realistic sequence of many actual near-misses. There is a lamentable use of sped-up camera at the end of one of these sequences but it is meant to be obvious and almost Keystone Kops-like. And also, if you have an aversion to cheesy mustaches, this movie may frighten you because there's almost wall-to-wall porn-star mustaches throughout. Hey, it was the seventies what can ya do?!? If you're in the mood for a frantically-paced Italian crime film with lots of punches and gunshots and high speed chases than VIOLENT NAPLES is perfect for a Saturday afternoon in front of the telly with a bowl full of spaghetti.

2011-12-19T04:13:00.004-05:00

2011: THE YEAR IN MOVIES. At the end of each year I like to look back over those movies which I watched for the very first time in the preceding year. Some were new but most were old movies I'd missed up till now. Just as a library full of books - all of which you've read - has no real use, a history of movies - all of which you've seen - would be terrible; the joy of being a film buff is discovering previously undiscovered movies and watching them for the first time. These are 50 of my favourite films I saw for the first time in 2011:

AMERICAN GRINDHOUSE (2010) - rollicking documentary of trashy American movies from the time of Edison right up to the 21st century. Now all I have to do is track down a copy of "OLGA'S HOUSE OF SHAME" (1964).
BAGDAD CAFE (1987) - quirky and bizarre tale of a group of misfits who meet up at a desert cafe. Jack Palance has a welcome supporting role.
BANDE A PARTE (1964) - Jean-Luc Godard's "BAND OF OUTSIDERS" uses a caper plot as an excuse to do what Godard does. Anna Karina is ravishing and the film makes us all wonder why we don't do "The Madison" anymore.
THE BLOODSTAINED SHADOW (1978) - little known and stylish Italian giallo from director Lino Capollicchio (who helmed "THE HOUSE WITH LAUGHING WINDOWS")
BMX BANDITS (1983) - I don't believe in guilty pleasures because if you like something you like it and shouldn't have to apologize for it. Put together three teenagers (including Nicole Kidman), three BMX bikes, stolen experimental walkie-talkies and a group of hoods and what've you got? Silly, empty-headed entertainment Australian style.
BIGGER THAN LIFE (1956) - Nicholas Ray's brickbat thrown into fifties American suburbia. James Mason is a teacher who becomes addicted to cortizone and decides he needs to sacrifice his son "Abraham and Isaac-style".
BORN INVINCIBLE (1978) - kung fu flick featuring the great Lo Lieh. The mastering of Tai Chi makes one become invulnerable to all weapons and the villainous "white eyebrows" (Carter Wong in a super performance) makes life difficult for everyone
BRIDES OF BLOOD (1968) - One of the awful "blood trilogy" filmed for cheap in the Philippines featuring hoyden Beverly Hills (late of "THE COMEDY OF TERRORS") and native trees which boff and then scoff young maidens.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGERS (2011) - Enjoyable if rather sedate film bringing Cap to the screen for the first time in a non-embarrassing way!
CINEMA PARADISO (1988) - Oscar-winner for best foreign film in 1989 is totally manipulative but nonetheless manages to warm the cockles of a film buff's heart by demonstrating what the cinema can mean to a film lover.
CRIES AND WHISPERS (1972) - devastating performances by some of the greatest film actresses ever: Harriet Andersson, Liv Ullman and Ingrid Thulin. Sisters are gathered together as one is dying from cancer in Ingmar Bergman's Oscar-winning red-and-white masterpiece.
THE CRIPPLED AVENGERS (1978) - otherwise known as RETURN OF THE FIVE VENOMS, this film is in no way a sequel to the earlier kung fu classic but features the actors who would forevermore be known as "The Venoms" in another excellent film wherein a group of disabled kung fu fighters much conquer their evil oppressors.
DAY OF THE DEAD (1985) - George Romero's third part of his "Dead trilogy" is incredibly awful during the first half but gets much better around the middle point. Nowhere near the dual masterpieces of "NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD" and "DAWN OF THE DEAD", "DAY" is nevertheless a movie with a great deal to offer.
DEAD SNOW (2009) - Superb Norwegian zombie movie which evokes memories of both "EVIL DEAD" and "SHOCK WAVES". A group of shiny young people in an isolated mountain cabin are attacked by Nazi zombies looking for hidden Nazi loot.
DEAD-END DRIVE-IN (1986) - Ozploitation maestro Brian Trenchard-Smith's wacky dystopia of a society who locks their "undesirable delinquents" inside a drive-in from which there is no escape.
THE DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGOISIE (1972) - Luis Bunuel's surreal Oscar-winning best foreign film of a group of friends who just want to sit down to dinner! The exquisite Delphine Seyrig, Stephane Audran, Jean Pierre Cassel and Fernando Rey are featured in the cast.
EAT PRAY LOVE (2010) - Hollywood's attempt to film the book (which I admit not having read) came off rather successfully for me - despite the fact it stars Julia Roberts. Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir of her travels to Italy, India and Bali on a spiritual quest after her devastating divorce.
THE 400 BLOWS (1959) - Francois Truffaut's nouveau vague classic of the trials and tribulations of a 12 year old "ne'er do well" who always seems to be in trouble with his parents and his school.
GERMANY YEAR ZERO (1948) - The third of Roberto Rossellini's "war trilogy" showing the devastated post-war Germany and the crushing effect on a young boy.
THE IDIOT (1951) - Akira Kurosawa's operatic filming of Dostoyevsky's novel with masterful performances by Toshiro Mifune, the divine Setsuko Hara and Masayuki Mori. Kurosawa's superb filming of the snowy landscape literally makes the snow a character in the film.
JEANNE DIELMAN, 23 QUAI DU COMMERCE, 1080 BRUXELLES (1975) - Belgian feminist/anti-illusionism director Chantal Akerman's hypnotic masterpiece starring Delphine Seyrig as a housewife/mother who leads a double life as a prostitute. Absolutely absorbing film named the Village Voices 19th greatest film of the 20th century already!
L'ATALANTE (1934) - Jean Vigo's one and only completed feature before his untimely death is a masterpiece concerning newlyweds encountering life on a canal barge. Dita Parlo, Jean Daste and Michel Simon are all magnificent.
LE DOULOS (1962) - Jean-Pierre Melville's crime flick starring Jean Paul Belmondo and Serge Reggiani in a tale of jewel heists and murder.
LEGENDARY WEAPONS OF CHINA (1982) - Lau Kar-Leung's excellent kung fu romp starring Gordon Liu and Alexander Fu Sheng. Assassins are out to get Gordo in a series of fights which utilize China's legendary "Eighteen Weapons".
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS (2009) - Vampire Queen Carmilla descends on a British village and there's nothing but a couple of knuckleheads (Mathew Horne and James Corden) to defeat them. Yet another in the run of recent quite good horror comedies.
LOOKING FOR RICHARD (1996) - Al Pacino's documentary/performance film of his attempts to stage Shakespeare's RICHARD III.
MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED (2010) - Director Mark Hartley (of "NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD") helms this documentary on the wild and wooly exploitation films made on the cheap in the Philippines.
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE (2004) - Excellent version of Shakepeare's play featuring Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons.
NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD (2008) - Documentary filmmaker Mark Hartley's acclaimed debut about the wonderful world of Ozploitation.
ORDET (1955) - Carl Theodor Dreyer examines the many aspects of faith.
PAISAN (1946) - The second in Roberto Rossellini's "war trilogy" (and my favourite of 'em) concerning the invasion of Italy by the Allies in World War II and the interaction between Italians and Americans. The episodic film starts in the south and works its way up the Italian peninsula to the north.
THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC (1928) - Carl Theodor Dreyer's masterpiece is often on many lists of the top ten greatest films of all time. The trial of Joan of Arc is depicted in a truly stunning performance by Renee Jeanne Falconetti.
THE PHANTOM CARRIAGE (1921) - Silent Swedish film starring and directed by Victor Sjostrom (much later to star in Bergman's WILD STRAWBERRIES) is generally considered one of the central works in Swedish cinema history. The film concerns the legend that the last person to die each year must spend the following year working for "strict master" Death collecting the souls of all those who die in that year.
PRIVATE LIVES (1931) - Hollywood adaptation of Noel Coward's play featuring Norma Shearer, Robert Montgomery, Reginald Denny and Una Merkel in this comedy of sex and divorce.
RED (2010) - Hollywood bang-bang-shoot-em-up adaptaion of Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner's DC Comics series is actually a lot of fun. Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary Louise Parker and Morgan Freeman join in the hijinx.
RICHARD III (1955) - Laurence Olivier's wonderful pantomime-villain version of Shakepeare's play with ravishing colour and a wicked sense of fun. A dream cast includes Cedric Hardwicke, Ralph Richardson, John Gielgud, Pamela Brown, Claire Bloom, Michael Gough, Michael Ripper, John Laurie, George Woodbridge, Esmond Knight, Patrick Troughton, Stanley Baker and many more.
RUSSIAN ARK (2002) - Not a documentary. Not a drama. What exactly is it? Like no other film ever made. Half tour of the Russian Hermitage museum and half peek at hundreds of years of Russian history with a little ghost story thrown in, director Alexander Sokurov filmed the entire film in one take only. Dreamlike and surreal.
SAPPHIRE (1959) - Crime film dealing with racism in London against immigrants from the West Indies. Directed by Basil Dearden, SAPPHIRE won a BAFTA Award for Best Film. A cast of exemplary British character actors includes Nigel Patrick, Yvonne Mitchell, Rupert Davies, Paul Massie and Michael Craig.
SCOTT WALKER: 30 CENTURY MAN (2006) - Documentary about singer Scott Walker examines his career from pop idol in the Walker Brothers to avant-garde music experimenter. The music will make you leap for your Scott Walker albums!
SECRET MYSTERIES OF AMERICA'S BEGINNINGS VOL. 1: THE NEW ATLANTIS (2006), VOL. 2: RIDDLES IN STONE - THE SECRET ARCHITECTURE OF WASHINGTON, D.C., (2007) and VOL. 3: EYE OF THE PHOENIX - SECRETS OF THE DOLLAR BILL (2009) - I love a good conspiracy theory and these three DVDs feature a boatload! The Freemasons, the Rosicrucians, the Illuminati . . . they're all here and more. You gotta love it!
SENSO (1954) - Luchino Visconti's ravishing depiction of the Italian-Austrian war of unification and romance gone sour. Alida Valli and Farley Granger star.
SH! THE OCTOPUS (1937) - poverty row comedy-thriller-horror movie with no name cast and no budget. Actually much better than one might think with a delirious, almost hallucinatory plotline, an effective tentacled monster attacking a group of people trapped in an abandoned lighthouse and a superbly shocking transformation special effects scene at the end. This one's a rare duck and an odd one.
SHAOLIN MANTIS (1978) - another cracking Shaw Brothers kung fu movie starring David Chiang as a martial artist who learns a new style by studying the praying mantis.
SHAOLIN VS. LAMA (1983) - One of the best Hong Kong kung fu films with wall-to-wall super action!
SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION (1970) - Hollywood adaptation of Ken Kesey's second novel (following "ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST") concerning an Oregon logging family who cut down trees for a local mill in opposition to striking unionized workers. Paul Newman, Michael Sarrazin, Henry Fonda and Lee Remick star.
A STAR IS BORN (1954) - Vincent Minnelli's troubled remake starring Judy Garland and James Mason as an actress whose star is on the rise while her husband's is falling fast.
THE TAKING OF POWER OF LOUIS XIV (1966) - Roberto Rossellini's epic movie for French television depicting the rise to power of Louis XIV and his gradually education in how to wield that power. Non-professional actor Jean-Marie Patte stars in the title role in an echo of Rossellini's neo-realist past.
THOR (2011) - Following their string of hit super-hero movies, Marvel brings us this good if not great adaptation of the Norse thunder god's comic book adventures directed by Kenneth Branagh of all people. Chris Hemsworth is perfect casting as Thor.
WALK, DON'T RUN (1966) - Cary Grant's final film is a frothy bit of pleasant nonsense also starring Charlotte Rampling and Jim Hutton. This remake of the 1943 film "THE MORE THE MERRIER" transposes the romantic comedy to Tokyo during the Olympic games.
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (2011) - Surprisingly good prequel to the previous three X-Men movies, this features the origins of the X-Men team as well as Magneto. Michael Fassbender is particularly good as the young Magneto.

Here's looking forward to much more movie watching in 2012!!!

2011-12-15T13:49:00.006-05:00

LIKE NO OTHER FILM I'VE EVER SEEN; THAT IS "RUSSIAN ARK". This 2002 film by director Alexander Sokurov (in Russian "Русский ковчег") doesn't fit any category I can think of. Filmed on location in the actual Winter Palace of the Czars which is now the Hermitage Museum, the entire 96 minute film was shot IN ONE TAKE! No cuts. No edits. And there are 2000 people in the cast; all wearing period costumes who all had to know their cues and enter at the proper moment or else the entire film would've been spoiled! Seriously!?!? The film is half about the building itself and its history and half about the masterpieces of art which the Hermitage now houses. Sokurov's obvious love of both art and Russian history permeates every frame. And each and every frame was captured with a digital Steadicam in one single take. I'm sorry, I just can't get over that. Directors from Orson Welles to John Carpenter to Martin Scorsese have been chasing the "extended take" in their films for years but here's a guy who shoots his entire movie in one take. Actually, the first two takes were spoiled by "technical difficulties" and Sokurov only had time for one more attempt before his time allowed in the Hermitage expired. Luckily, the final take went off without a hitch and that is the movie as we now have it. Sound was redone in post due to the director's habit of cursing loudly whenever something didn't quite go perfectly. The film opens with a totally black screen and our on screen narrator (director Sokurov himself) explains that he was in some sort of accident and somehow finds himself here. Wherever that is. The entire film is shot from the camera's/narrator's POV. We shortly find ourselves in the Hermitage where the narrator encounters people dressed in the clothing of various historical eras. The narrator soon meets a character known simply as "The European" (Sergei Dreiden) who actually represents the 19th century French diplomat Marquis de Custine; the Marquis wrote a famous book on his travels in Russia "LA RUSSIE EN 1839". The eccentric "European" winds his way throughout the Hermitage with our narrator/camera in tow encountering people from all different eras in Russian history. We even see Catherine the Great, Peter the Great and Czar Nicholas II and his ill-fated family. The off-kilter, dream-like quality of the film is remarkable and there is a certain dream-logic at work here. Also there is a very real probability that the narrator (and "The European") are dead and merely ghosts gliding through the museum. The European sometimes interacts with the people he meets (especially the staff who constantly seem to be shoo-ing him out of rooms) and sometimes appears completely invisible to those around him. We witness a grand ball with an orchestra playing Glinka, a theatrical performance, Czar Nicholas I received the grandson of the Shah of Iran for a state "apology" at the murder of a Russian ambassador, Catherine the Great bounding down a snow-path (presumable to make a romantic assignation) and even a man building his own coffin during the World War II siege of the city. Add to this the frequent stops to examine works of art in the museum: Rubens, El Greco, Canova, et. al. The surroundings -- being the actual Hermitage itself -- are obviously stunning to look at; as are the works of art. The costuming is extraordinary. Lighting by Bernd Fischer and Anatoli Radionov is unbelieveable considering they were constantly on the move for 96 minutes. And the photography by Tilman Büttner is nothing short of a miracle. Then, of course, we come to Sokurov's direction which required a cast of 2000 to know their lines, their cues, their choreography and their timing so as not to spoil the one take. If for no other reason, this film is worth watching just for the technical accomplishment. But the film is much more than that. It's a slightly dizzing, often exquisitely beautiful, sometimes surreal and occasionally funny experience which resembles no other film out there. And for anyone with even the slightest interest in art or history, RUSSIAN ARK is a delightful Faberge egg of cinema.

2011-12-10T10:47:00.004-05:00

"A half-step up, with the massive break-timber overhead, and into the ship's main cabin. Eight more bunks ranged around. Ten tons of fresh water tanked beneath the floor. Books and books and books -- some five hundred volumes in all. Books of the sea and books of the land, some of them streaked with salt, collected with love and care over more than twenty-five years.

Melville, Conrad, London, Stevenson; Gauguin and Loti and Rupert Brooke; Lubbock, Masefield, De Hartog -- Slocum and Rockwell Kent; Trelawney and Cook and Bligh; Chapelle and Underhill -- Nansen, Frobisher, Villiers and Scott and Louis Becke. Homer, Geribault, and Tompkins. Hundreds more: all cast in a common mold -- blessed with the genius that makes men feel, and dream, and go.

And a special section of books that deal with the greatest frontier of all -- the relationship between men: Marx and Whitman, Thoreau and Henry George, Victor Hugo, Thomas Paine and Jefferson. Lincoln and Emerson, Rousseau, Voltaire and Upton Sinclair, Shaw, Byron, Mark Twain, Roosevelt, Garrison, Jack London again and Shakespeare.

Five hundred books, distillate of distant seas, of a hundred thousand night watches. Of despair and agonies and conviction. Standing by this night, peering out from recessed shelves onto the inert and blanketed forms of seven young men and women come together -- haphazardly perhaps -- yet drawn as though by magic to the soft and urgent promise of the windship's lonely world. . .

. . . Storm sails and trade wind sails; mooring lines; hardwood, softwood, brass and galvanized rod. A bale of tarred oakum at rest by a barrel of pitch, and the tanned hide of a cow. All sorted and lashed in place. The rudderpost encased in a brute of a boxlike shaft.

Poised this night: seven children and thirteen adults; ten tons of water, six tons of fuel; a four-month supply of food; three hundred charts -- within the trussed shell of the last merchant-built windjammer to fly the American flag (museum ships excepted). Primed and able to go.

So near, yet so far -- three miles to the Golden Gate; fifteen miles to the inshore boundary of the high seas; six hundred miles to the realm of the northeast trade; four hundred and eighty miles to the rancid Mecca corner of Hollywood and Vine.

The stilled form of a wanderer, somewhat asleep in his bunk. Pillow swept in a locked embrace -- lamp turned low on the wall -- empty sheepskin coat above dank and hollow boots. Over his head a telltale compass peering down with dry card inverted -- older than the ship, brassbound, incorruptible, absolute.

How does she head this night? North by east it is.

What is her port of hail? San Francisco.

And where is she bound? Nowhere.

So they say."

-- Wanderer by Sterling Hayden

2011-12-10T02:11:00.001-05:00

ODD COUPLES WE NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE PART 2!

Benny Hill & Michael Jackson!

2011-12-01T10:35:00.006-05:00

LA NOIA

For me, boredom is not the opposite of amusement; . . . Boredom to me consists in a kind of insufficiency, or inadequacy, or lack of reality . . . . The feeling of boredom originates for me in a sense of the absurdity of a reality which is insufficient, or anyhow unable, to convince me of its own effective existence . . . . from that very absurdity springs boredom, which when all is said and done is simply a kind of incommunicability and the incapacity to disengage oneself from it.

-- Alberto Moravia

La Noia

2011-11-28T03:48:00.019-05:00

THE NOMINATIONS FOR THE 2011 PENGUIN AWARDS. Well, it's been a long, rough couple of years here at the Penguin Awards when it seemed like good music was few and far between. But could it be that music is back??? It's a little too early to tell but the amount of nominations this year is more like the level of years gone by; in fact, it's a little TOO much to choose from because this time around there is a baker's dozen of album nominees, a total of 44 songs with nominations and (get this) there are 28 nominees for Song of the Year alone! So strap yourself in, it's gonna be an epic ride!

+++

NOMINEES FOR SONG OF THE YEAR

BOOTS - The Killers
Calgary - Bon Iver
Caravan - Rush
Cold - Black Country Communion
County Line - Cass McCombs
Elizabeth - Ghost
Heavy In Your Arms - Florence + the Machine
Holocene - Bon Iver
Howl - Florence + the Machine
I'm Alive - Anthrax
I Never Learnt To Share - James Blake
In the End - Anthrax
Leave My Body - Florence + the Machine
Misty - Kate Bush
Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex - CSS
No Condition - Mary J. Blige
Only If For A Night - Florence + the Machine
Overlord - Black Label Society
Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) - Florence + the Machine
Ritual - Ghost
Set Fire To the Rain - Adele
Shallow Grave - Black Label Society
Someone Like You - Adele
Song of Yesterday - Black Country Communion
Stand By Him - Ghost
Turn It Around - Crowded House
The Wilhelm Scream - James Blake
The Words That Maketh Murder - PJ Harvey

NOMINEES FOR ALBUM OF THE YEAR

21 - Adele
WORSHIP MUSIC - Anthrax
BLACK COUNTRY COMMUNION - Black Country Communion
ORDER OF THE BLACK - Black Label Society
JAMES BLAKE - James Blake
BON IVER - Bon Iver
50 WORDS FOR SNOW - Kate Bush
INTRIGUER - Crowded House
CEREMONIALS - Florence + the Machine
LUNGS - Florence + the Machine
OPUS EPONYMOUS - Ghost
LET ENGLAND SHAKE - PJ Harvey
WIT'S END - Cass McCombs

NOMINEES FOR COVER SONG OF THE YEAR

AIN'T NOBODY - Mary J. Blige
BETTER BE HOME SOON - Busby Marou
FALL AT Y OUR FEET - Boy & Bear
LIMIT TO YOUR LOVE - James Blake
LOVESONG - Adele
NEED SOMEONE - Mary J. Blige
NEVER BE MINE (DIRECTOR'S CUT VERSION) - Kate Bush
WORDS OF LOVE - Patti Smith
YOU'VE GOT THE LOVE - Florence + the Machine

NOMINEES FOR DUET OF THE YEAR

FEEL INSIDE - Mary J. Blige & Nas
LAKE TAHOE - Kate Bush & Stefan Roberts
MR. WRONG - Mary J. Blige & Drake
SNOWED IN AT WHEELER STREET - Kate Bush & Elton John
SNOWFLAKE - Kate Bush & Albert McIntosh
WILD MAN - Kate Bush & Andy Fairweather Low

NOMINEES FOR BEST ALBUM COVER (see above for photos)

WORSHIP MUSIC - Anthrax
JUGGERNAUT OF JUSTICE - Anvil
BLACK COUNTRY COMMUNION - Black Country Communion
ORDER OF THE BLACK - Black Label Society
BON IVER - Bon Iver
50 WORDS FOR SNOW - Kate Bush
INTRIGUER - Crowded House
LUNGS - Florence + the Machine
OPUS EPONYMOUS - Ghost
LET ENGLAND SHAKE - PJ Harvey

2011-11-18T01:58:00.003-05:00

IN A RARE MOVE, I'D LIKE TO PLUG A PRODUCT HERE IN THE LAND OF CERPTS AND HONEY. For kung fu fans, there's been a site called "SHAOLIN CHAMBER 36" over there to the right on my link list. Recently the fellow running the site has branched into making kung fu movie T-shirts under the banner "36 STYLES". The line was introduced this past summer with 4 great T-shirts (pictured above); these shirts are very good with high quality transfers. I bought some when they first came out and can highly recommend them. Where else are you gonna get kung fu film T-shirts? And especially of such good quality. Now they have added one more shirt: the classic "MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE" in probably the handsomest design yet. CLICK HERE to go take a look at them and I strongly encourage you to pick up a couple. The nice thing also is that they accept paypal so it's no fuss and no muss. These shirts are made by an extremely nice guy who I think should be encouraged in his labour of love so please visit the site and take a look. You won't be disappointed!

2011-11-08T12:12:00.005-05:00

FOR A YUMMY AUTUMN TREAT: LAMB'S WOOL! I am no real fan of apple butter. I never buy it or eat it . . . UNLESS it's homemade apple butter from this recipe at Lisa Pardo's Kitchen blog. Sadly, there has been no blog activity there for two years but this recipe for homemade apple butter is delicious and I've made it several times. However, if you make it (and I urge you to), take my advice and half the amount of sugar and cut waaaaaaaaay down on the clove to just a smidge. But why am I showing you a recipe for apple butter??? And what's all this got to do with lamb's wool????

Well, I'll tell ya. According to Ruth Edna Kelley's 1919 "BOOK OF HALLOWEEN": "A popular drink at the Hallowe'en gathering in the eighteenth century was milk in which crushed roasted apples had been mixed. It was called Lambs'-Wool (perhaps from the "La Mas Ubhal", "the day of the apple fruit")." Well my perverse curiosity led me to create my own version of this Autumnal artifact to see what it might taste like. As I had just whipped up some of Lisa Pardo's homemade apple butter a couple days ago, I threw some in some milk for my own approximation of Lambs'-Wool and Wheeeeeeeeee doggies it was good!!! The only way I can describe it is that it's kinda like an apple milkshake! And it's certainly one of the most autumnal treats I think I've ever tasted. You've gotta try this. But that means you have to make the homemade apple butter first. So get cracking! And once that's done, take about half a coffee mug of milk (about 3/4 cup) and stir in about 3 heaping teaspoons of homemade apple butter. That's it! My own version of that ancient Irish Hallowe'en treat: Lambs'-Wool!

2011-11-08T08:26:00.004-05:00

A NOVEMBER BOOK OF POEMS.

THE FIRST WINTER SONG by Arthur Perceval Graves

From 'Songs of Summer and Winter' (From the early Irish).
Take my tidings! Stags contend; Snows descend— Summer's end! A chill wind raging; The sun low keeping, Swift to set O'er seas high sweeping. Dull red the fern; Shapes are shadows; Wild geese mourn O'er misty meadows. Keen cold limes each weaker wing. Icy times— Such I sing! Take my tidings!

THE DEATH OF THE FLOWERS by William Cullen Bryant

The melancholy days are come, the saddest of the year, Of wailing winds, and naked woods, and meadows brown and sere. Heaped in the hollows of the grove, the autumn leaves lie dead; They rustle to the eddying gust, and to the rabbit's tread; The robin and the wren are flown, and from the shrubs the jay, And from the wood-top calls the crow through all the gloomy day. Where are the flowers, the fair young flowers, that lately sprang and stood In brighter light and softer airs, a beauteous sisterhood? Alas! they all are in their graves, the gentle race of flowers Are lying in their lowly beds, with the fair and good of ours. The rain is falling where they lie, but the cold November rain Calls not from out the gloomy earth the lovely ones again. The wind-flower and the violet, they perished long ago, And the brier-rose and the orchids died amid the summer glow; But on the hills the golden-rod, and the aster in the wood, And the yellow sun-flower by the brook in autumn beauty stood, Till fell the frost from the clear cold heaven, as falls the plague on men, And the brightness of their smile was gone, from upland, glade, and glen. And now, when comes the calm mild day, as still such days will come, To call the squirrel and the bee from out their winter home; When the sound of dropping nuts is heard, though all the trees are still, And twinkle in the smoky light the waters of the rill, The south wind searches for the flowers whose fragrance late he bore, And sighs to find them in the wood and by the stream no more. And then I think of one who in her youthful beauty died, The fair meek blossom that grew up and faded by my side. In the cold moist earth we laid her, when the forests cast the leaf, And we wept that one so lovely should have a life so brief: Yet not unmeet it was that one, like that young friend of ours, So gentle and so beautiful, should perish with the flowers.

2011-11-01T00:26:00.007-04:00

HALLOWEEN LEFTOVERS AT THE BOTTOM OF OUR TRICK OR TREAT BAG. As a look back at our 2011 Halloween Countdown before it turns into a pumpkin, we present this month's headers. Gee, I'm nostalgic for October 2011 already. . .

2011-10-31T14:49:00.009-04:00

THE HORRIFYING HALLOWEEN BOOKSHELF. As Halloween (and October) rockets towards its big finish, I thought I'd mention a couple books I'm currently devouring that lend themselves to the season. Both books are about horror films naturally; one is a sedate hardcover and the other is a glossy photo-packed riot of colour. The first book was actually recommended by John Rozum on his blog; actually he recommended a few books and I promptly bought them all! The one I'm currently reading first is Jason Zinoman's SHOCK VALUE and you can read John's recommendations here. SHOCK VALUE is subtitled "How a few eccentric outsiders gave us nightmares, conquered Hollywood, and invented modern horror" and the book concerns the major maverick horror filmmakers of the 70's & 80's such as Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Dan O'Bannon, Brian DePalma, William Friedkin and others who were inspired by three influential 60's horror flicks: Peter Bogdanovich's TARGETS, George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and Roman Polanski's ROSEMARY'S BABY. This is an area of horror which has been relatively written little about in book form which makes this tome a welcome addition to horror film scholarship. Zinoman puts seemingly unrelated 70's films like TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, ALIEN, HALLOWEEN, DARK STAR, THE EXORCIST and CARRIE in their proper context as a dawning of a "new horror" radically different from the previous generation of Roger Corman and William Castle. The book is also a fluid read and never becomes dry or academic. There are one or two nagging errors which annoyed me; one of which is when Zinoman refers to the character of Norman Bates in Robert Bloch's original novel as "skinny" making Anthony Perkins good casting. In fact, Norman Bates in the novel is overweight; there has been compelling speculation which I believe to be true that Bloch actually based the character of Norman Bates' physical appearance on "CASTLE OF FRANKENSTEIN" publisher Calvin T. Beck. But one or two factual errors do not spoil what is a fascinating read.

The second book is Gary Gerani's "TOP 100 HORROR MOVIES"; a big colour-splashed book with white printing on black glossy paper which is built more for fun than scholarship. Gerani, of course, is the author of that seminal early reference work "FANTASTIC TELEVISION" which examined in detail (probably for the first time) genre TV from STAR TREK, TWILIGHT ZONE, and THRILLER to KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER, ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS and SPACE: 1999. Here Gerani indulges in that wonderful list-making we boys find so much fun. Brief film synopses and credit lists accompany entries as to why each film is important and deserves to be on Gerani's "top 100" list. Here too we have one or two nagging errors; paramount of which is Gerani's constant reference to child actor Martin Stephens (of THE INNOCENTS and VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED) as Martin Phillips for some reason. But here too such details don't spoil the fun. While "TOP 100 HORROR MOVIES" doesn't really offer anything new under the sun, it is always enjoyable to see somebody's list of top 100 horror movies and this is no exception. And don't worry, Gerani has also provided a companion volume of "TOP 100 SCI-FI MOVIES" which I'll get to later. So there you have it: a couple really good reads for these dark autumn nights. Light a candle and read 'em aloud to a restless spirit near you!

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Today's 31st and final Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day is NIGHTMARES #1 from 1985.

2011-10-31T05:46:00.015-04:00

THE DECADE DOZENS: MY FAVOURITE HALLOWEEN MOVIES FOR EACH DECADE FROM THE TWENTIES TO THE NOUGHTIES. An exercise suggested to me was to list my 12 favourite scary movies from each decade starting with the silent 1920s. Some decades were MUCH harder than others (and not the ones you might expect) but I've managed to do it. I've winnowed them down to the 12 I'd most prefer watching for some tasty Halloween viewing. I only really fudged on one movie; the TV movie THE DARK ANGEL was actually made in 1987 but it wasn't shown in this country until 1991 so I placed it in the 90s. So there. Nuffin' you can do about it! So let's get down to it.

THE TWENTIES

THE GOLEM (1920)
DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE (1920)
THE PHANTOM CARRIAGE (1921)
HAXAN aka WITCHCRAFT THROUGH THE AGES (1922)
NOSFERATU (1922)
WAXWORKS (1924)
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1925)
THE MONSTER (1925)
THE BAT (1926)
THE MAGICIAN (1926)
THE CAT AND THE CANARY (1927)
WEST OF ZANZIBAR (1928)

THE THIRTIES

THE BAT WHISPERS (1930)
DRACULA (1931)
FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
SVENGALI (1931)
DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE (1931)
THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)
THE MUMMY (1932)
KING KONG (1933)
THE INVISIBLE MAN (1933)
THE BLACK CAT (1934)
BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935)
SON OF FRANKENSTEIN (1939)

THE FORTIES

THE WOLF MAN (1941)
CAT PEOPLE (1942)
I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)
THE LEOPARD MAN (1943)
THE SEVENTH VICTIM (1943)
SON OF DRACULA (1943)
RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE (1944)
THE UNINVITED (1944)
CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE (1944)
FOG ISLAND (1945)
DEAD OF NIGHT (1945)
ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948)

THE FIFTIES

THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD (1951)
WAR OF THE WORLDS (1953)
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954)
THEM! (1954)
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)
THE MOLE PEOPLE (1956)
NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1957)
QUATERMASS II: ENEMY FROM SPACE (1957)
HORROR OF DRACULA (1958)
THE BLOB (1958)
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959)

THE SIXTIES

PSYCHO (1960)
HOUSE OF USHER (1960)
CITY OF THE DEAD (1960)
THE INNOCENTS (1961)
THE HAUNTING (1963)
THE COMEDY OF TERRORS (1963)
CASTLE OF BLOOD (1964)
THE GORGON (1964)
DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (1965)
PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965)
ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968)
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)

THE SEVENTIES

THE DUNWICH HORROR (1970)
HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS (1970)
THE NIGHT STALKER (1972)
DRACULA A.D. 1972 (1972)
LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE (1973)
THE EXORCIST (1973)
FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (1974)
DEEP RED (1975)
HALLOWEEN (1978)
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
ALIEN (1979)
SALEM'S LOT (1979)

THE EIGHTIES

THE FOG (1980)
THE SHINING (1980)
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
THE EVIL DEAD (1981)
THE THING (1982)
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985)
THE RE-ANIMATOR (1985)
HORRIBLE HORROR (1986)
THE LOST BOYS (1987)
THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW (1988)
KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988)
LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988)

THE NINETIES

THE DARK ANGEL (1991 US Release)
THE RESURRECTED (1992)
GHOSTWATCH (1992)
BLOODSTONE: SUBSPECIES II (1993)
ED WOOD (1994)
IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994)
CEMETERY MAN (1994)
RINGU (1998)
OUT OF MIND: THE STORIES OF H.P. LOVECRAFT (1998)
THE SIXTH SENSE (1999)
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999)
THE NINTH GATE (1999)

THE NOUGHTIES

WILD ZERO (2000)
JU-ON (2000)
THIRTEEN GHOSTS (2001)
DAGON (2001)
28 DAYS LATER (2002)
SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004)
SLITHER (2006)
THE MIST (2007)
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)
DORIAN GRAY (2009)
ZOMBIELAND (2009)
DEAD SNOW (2009)

2011-10-31T00:45:00.000-04:00

2011-10-31T00:39:00.000-04:00

2011-10-31T00:31:00.000-04:00

2011-10-31T00:29:00.000-04:00

2011-10-30T02:17:00.008-04:00

ISLAND OF LOST SOULS IS HERE! One of the most long-awaited and eagerly-anticipated DVD releases has finally arrived -- just in time for Halloween. The 1932 classic film based on H.G. Wells' anti-vivisection novel has at long last been released on DVD . . . and from none other than Criterion, yet! The Paramount film directed (astonishingly) by Erle C. Kenton and starring Charles Laughton was very strong meat indeed; coming as it did from pre-Code Hollywood. Banned in England and hated by H.G. Wells, the film has since become an acknowledged classic of the first Golden Age of sound horror initiated by Universal's DRACULA in 1931. That film's success, along with its follow-up FRANKENSTEIN, caused every studio in Hollywood to mount a horror production and Paramount's ISLAND OF LOST SOULS was a corker! Charles Laughton as the icy Dr. Moreau, decked out in his tropical white suit and (according to David J. Skal) channeling the ghost of Oscar Wilde in his performance, has set himself up on a deserted island in order to continue his sadistic experiments changing animals into humans; he does this by mysterious means involving vivisection in his aptly-named "House of Pain" laboratory. A shipwrecked Richard Arlen slowly begins to realize what his laconic host has been up to -- but has no idea the plans Dr. Moreau has for him and his genetically-engineered panther woman Lota (played by the winner of a nationwide actress search Kathleen Burke). The film is filled with queasy and uncomfortable images and implications: the white-clad Moreau cracking his whip as the bestial "Sayer of the Law" (Bela Lugosi) repeats to him the law like a catechism. "What is the Law?" bellows Laughton. "Not to run on all fours," Lugosi responds, "That is the Law. Are we not men?" "What is the Law?" "Not to eat meat. That is the Law. Are we not men?" "What is the Law?" "Not to spill blood. That is the Law. Are we not men?" Devo aside, this is a classic exchange in classic horror filmdom. Laughton coolly prods and examines a wailing beast man strapped to an operating table in the House of Pain completely oblivious to his suffering; showing the poor creature off to Arlen as if he is a model car he's just finished building. When Arlen's fiancee Leila Hyams shows up on the island to rescue him, Laughton whispers a command to one of his beast men ordering him to rape her. This will fit in with his experiments trying to mate Arlen with Lota the Panther Woman. Why did Moreau have to wait for Arlen to land on the island to try this out? Why didn't he just have sex with Lota himself? Laughton's performance (which is not suggested in the script or stage directions) makes it obvious that he's incapable; he's channelling Oscar Wilde, remember. Homey don't play that.

The new Criterion DVD features a new digital restoration of the uncut original release as well as a nice group of special features: audio commentary by horror film historian Greg Mank, short interviews with John Landis, Rick Baker, Bob Burns, David J. Skal, Richard Stanley (director of the 1996 remake), and Gerald Casale and Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo. There is also a short 1976 film by Devo, the theatrical trailer and a booklet written by Christine Smallwood. As always, the Criterion disc is of the highest quality and horror fans everywhere will be leaping for their whips to corral the DVD into their collection.

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Today's Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day is BLACK CAT #48.

2011-10-30T02:14:00.000-04:00

2011-10-30T02:13:00.000-04:00

2011-10-29T05:55:00.004-04:00

WHILE DIGGING THROUGH OLD VHS TAPES, I CAME ACROSS MY THREE RECORDINGS OF THE HORROR HALL OF FAME. Hosted by Robert Englund on a succession of UHF (remember that) channels, the "award show" was shown starting in 1990 through 1992. It was an Oscar-type program with presenters and filmed segments which inducted horror stars and films into the Horror Hall of Fame. Inductees would be awarded a statuette of a "Grim Reaper" which Forrest J. Ackerman dubbed a "Grimmy" at his induction the first year. The first and second year shows were quite excellent while the third year featured almost entirely segments rerun from the first two shows. Is it any wonder that the fourth Horror Hall of Fame promised by Robert Englund never aired. Way to take a great concept and sabotage it, guys! Such films as THE EXORCIST, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, PSYCHO, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, ALIEN and THE BIRDS were inducted as well as horror icons like Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Vincent Price, Roger Corman, Forrest J. Ackerman and others. Fun special effects and makeup segments by Steve Johnson and his wife scream queen Linnea Quigley were a hoot and one of the few bright spots on the third broadcast was a new live performance of MONSTER MASH by Bobby "Boris" Pickett -- and he wasn't lip syncing, folks! THE HORROR HALL OF FAME II probably featured one of the last television appearances by Vincent Price (escorted on stage by Elvira) as he announced the winner of the best horror film of the year 1991. Not surprisingly it was SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. All three shows were co-hosted by The Crypt Keeper from HBO's then smash hit TALES FROM THE CRYPT. It's fun (and more than a little sad) to see so many great stars who have since died; Sam Kinison even appears on the first two shows as do Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Forrest J. Ackerman, William M. Gaines, and many more. It's shocking to re-watch these shows I taped off the television and realize they're 21 years old! Thankfully we zombies don't age. ++

Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #29: UNEXPECTED #144 (1973).

2011-10-28T00:42:00.006-04:00

THE GHOST

SOFTLY as brown-eyed Angels rove I will return to thy alcove, And glide upon the night to thee, Treading the shadows silently. And I will give to thee, my own, Kisses as icy as the moon, And the caresses of a snake Cold gliding in the thorny brake. And when returns the livid morn Thou shalt find all my place forlorn And chilly, till the falling night. Others would rule by tenderness Over thy life and youthfulness, But I would conquer thee by fright!

-- Charles Baudelaire

+++ Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #28 is

DRACULA LIVES # 2 (1973).

2011-10-27T01:05:00.005-04:00

PSYCHOVILLE HALLOWEEN! The 2010 Halloween special occurs neatly between the end of the first series and the beginning of the second. However, the episode can be enjoyed even if you've never seen the programme with only a brief coda tying into the ongoing storyline to bewilder PSYCHOVILLE tyros. As always, the partial "LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN" who created PSYCHOVILLE show their great love for and influence by those wonderful Amicus horror films of the 60's and 70's which so informed THE LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. In fact, on that DVD there is even an interview with the "League" discussing Amicus horror as well as a brief Amicus documentary. In case you were in any doubt. However, just watching the PSYCHOVILLE HALLOWEEN programme cannot help but bring to mind those Amicus omnibus or portmanteau films of multiple horror stories from the classic DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS to the early 70's E.C. Comics adaptations headlined by TALES FROM THE CRYPT. These Amicus films always had a great sense of fun and, of course, PSYCHOVILLE takes that to the Nth degree. The wraparound story concerns (for those not familiar with the series) a scary nurse who tells scary stories to a young boy. The stories concern characters in the show but do not really fit in with the show's continuity (and in fact directly contradict them which is fun). Surly clown Mr. Jelly encounters a pair of ghostly trick-or-treaters, Joy has fun with a jack o'lantern and David and Maureen encounter a possible serial killer; all done with great affection according to the old E.C. horror comics method. It's indeed a treat to see how Mr. Jelly spends his Halloween nights (TV, junk food and ladies of the evening). . .or at least how he PLANNED to spend the evening until the fickle finger of fate intervened. Joy's story is such a perfect homage to E.C. Comics that one thinks it could've been taken from an issue of TALES FROM THE CRYPT. The inspired choice of having David and Maureen dress up as the Frankenstein Monster and his Bride is hilarious but also plays up the whole incest subtext. Even the wicked nurse is having fun; she's obviously making up a pack of lies as far as these stories are concerned to scare the boy and she even takes time out to insert thumbtacks into Halloween muffins distributed at the door to trick-or-treaters. It's all splendiferous Halloween fun with that patented warped angle PSYCHOVILLE is so good at. Though, to be truthful, the entire PSYCHOILLE series is great Halloween viewing with creepiness aplenty, so the PSYCHOVILLE HALLOWEEN episode is a definite viewing must. Viewers round my neck of the woods can catch the complete two series on demand -- but not for long so be quick!

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The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #27 is A CORBEN SPECIAL #1 from 1984. And the deep, dank tarn at my feet closes over today's post.

2011-10-26T10:58:00.003-04:00

ALL HALLOW E'EN

Mischief, sure, is in the air!

Flitting forms are everywhere;

Over the cornfields, through the trees

Eerie wailings are on the breeze,

And mingling high 'twixt sky and earth

Wild shrieks of wild, unholy mirth;

What do these strange forebodings mean?

Listen, -- and hist! -- 'tis Hallowe'en.

-- M.E.A.

HALLOWEEN COVER OF THE DAY # 26: VAULT OF HORROR #13

2011-10-25T00:09:00.012-04:00

AN AFTERNOON OF RIPPING YARNS! This fine autumnal afternoon while I was roasting some acorn squash and butternut squash in the oven as the orange and yellow leaves were tumbling down, I thought I'd rustle myself up a little Jack the Ripper marathon for Halloween.

I kicked things off with the second season STAR TREK episode "WOLF IN THE FOLD" written by Robert Bloch himself. Leave it to the man himself to feature the "psycho-tricorder" prominently in the episode! Kirk, Bones and Scotty are on shore leave on a peaceful planet when suddenly a woman is discovered murdered in the fog -- with Scotty found over her holding a bloody knife! As everybody surely knows, our delightful (faux)Scottish engineer is not responsible, but it's the evil entity we know as Jack the Ripper. It's been a long time since I watched me some STAR TREK and this episode seemed to fit perfectly into the Halloween season AND my topic of the day nicely. This one also features one of my favourite character actors of yesteryear: the diminutive little mouse called John Fiedler.

I next programmed yet another tale by Robert Bloch entitled "YOURS TRULY, JACK THE RIPPER" adapted from his classic short story for the THRILLER series hosted by Boris Karloff. One tends to forget how once closely associated with Jack the Ripper was Robert Bloch. Hitchcock favourite John Williams (DIAL M FOR MURDER) and the annoying Donald Woods (13 GHOSTS) star as well as stripper Miss Beverly Hills (of THE COMEDY OF TERRORS and BRIDES OF BLOOD) as it seems that Saucy Jack has survived up until the present day (read: 1961 anyway). It seems the noik we know as Saucy Jack has stayed alive all these years because his murders are actually blood sacrifices to infernal gods which keep him immortal. This episode of the series is directed by Ray Milland in rather a sedate, dignified manner but its still diverting as such.

It's off to the sensational seventies with KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER! Who doesn't love Kolchak and Darren McGavin. If you don't, I break with thee I break with thee I break with thee and then throw dog poopee on your shoe! After the two monumentally successful TV movies (the first NIGHT STALKER film was the highest rated TV movie of all-time), the first episode of the ongoing (at least briefly) weekly series was entitled "THE RIPPER" and features the return of our malicious malcontent this time to early 70s Chicago. This Jack is almost super-powered; leaping off a four storey building, tossing police around like rag dolls, busting down maximum security prison doors with his bare hands and taking bullets to the chest without ill effect. Sadly for those of us who saw the original NIGHT STALKER movie, this episode is rather a note for note "rewrite" of it right down to Kolchak sneaking into the monster's creepy old house and hiding in the closet! Despite this, Darren McGavin's charm and watchability and the interesting cast surrounding him with interesting performances makes this still worth seeing.

Next up is the 1980 trashy-feeling tabloid documentary JACK THE RIPPER: THE FINAL SOLUTION. Host/narrator Ray McGregor (with the sleaziest voice) takes us through author Stephen Knight's book proposing to solve the Ripper case side by side with the author himself on camera. This is the famous "Royal conspiracy" theory involving Prince "Eddy" and Sir William Gull which was the basis not only for the comic book series "BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT" (people seem to forget that one in deference to), the FROM HELL comic book and subsequent Hollywood film. Not wanting to speak ill of the dead but Stephen Knight's theory is almost certainly dead wrong and it has unfortunately now firmly ensconced itself in mainstream thought. I still have rather a soft spot for this documentary though as well as a strong association with Halloween because of the first time I saw it. It was in the mid-1980s on my local PBS station during an evening of Halloween programming on October 31st. Among a great deal of other spooky programmes (culminating in an airing of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and FREAKS), this documentary was sandwiched in. I now can never watch it without thinking of Halloween or NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD! This documentary can actually be found as an Easter egg on the FROM HELL 2-disc DVD. Once you get to the menu which has "MORE" on it, press the right button on your remote, then the down button, then the right button again until a scalpel appears highlighted on the menu; then press OK/Enter to play the entire documentary.

Speaking of which, FROM HELL was my next watch -- my main feature presentation as it were --of my Jack the Ripper Halloween marathon. This Johnny Depp starrer isn't the best of movies and, as mentioned, suffers from the fact that the entire premise of the film based on Stephen Knight's theories, has been pretty much discredited. Be that as it may, the film looks quite nice and is fairly entertaining. One might ask why I chose to watch this one instead of the countless other Ripper movies available; the plain fact is that the others (including MURDER BY DECREE) I had already watched in the last couple years but FROM HELL I hadn't watched in close to a decade. So there you go.

As a sort of palette-cleanser and a winding down of the Jack the Ripper marathon, I next ended with two silly entries. The first being the FUTURAMA episode "KIF GETS KNOCKED UP A NOTCH" from the 4th season. In this one, Jack the Ripper appears rather briefly as a construct of the "holodeck" malfunctioning and creating real rogue versions of Saucy Jack, Attila the Hun and the Evil Lincoln! The rest of the show doesn't really concern Jack so there's not much to say about it other than Kif gets pregnant and gives squishy birth.

Following this and bringing the marathon to a close is the 1945 THREE STOOGES short "THREE PESTS IN A MESS" which concerns the boys being mistakenly thought to have inherited a vast sum of money. This plotline is quickly dropped by the second half of the film and we then find Moe, Larry & Curly hiding in a spooky pet cemetery trying to bury a mannikin (long story). The proprietor of the cemetery and two of his associates receive a call that somebody's up to something in the cemetery and go there to investigate; naturally, they are coming from a costume party in which they are dressed as the Devil, a skeleton and. . .wait for it . . . Jack the Ripper! The usual Stooges mayhem ensues. This is another of those Three Stooges shorts which have a nice Halloween theme (at least in the second half) and make for great October viewing.

So there you have it: The Halloween Jack the Ripper marathon. You'll pardon me now as the acorn squash and butternut squash are done and have been slathered with melted butter. What's that, Jack? Oh, yes. Of course you may have a slice!

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Today's Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #25 is DEAD OF NIGHT #4 from 1974.

2011-10-24T00:33:00.005-04:00

GASP FROM THE PAST!!! Halloween past, that is. Yes, that's right. This is me, yours grue-ly, from the early to mid-70s. . .say, about 1975. As always, my mother made the costume and did the make-up (we couldn't afford to buy actual costumes then, folks). I'm pretty sure that the make-up tips wuz gotten from my treasured book MOVIE MONSTERS by Alan Ormsby. Funnily enough, this is the same Alan Ormsby who did the hippirific zombie film CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS!

HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK COVER OF THE DAY #24: HOUSE OF SECRETS #139 from 1976.

2011-10-23T02:01:00.009-04:00

DR. SHOCK'S HORROR THEATER HALLOWEEN MOVIE OF THE DAY: DOCTOR WHO: THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG! Not a movie per se but back in the day when PBS used to run DOCTOR WHO on Saturday afternoons they would edit together the entire story into a "movie". Apparently DOCTOR WHO fans prefer the half-hour episode format on DVD (at least that's what BBC Home Video tells us) but I, for one, prefer the story edited into a movie; that way you don't have the constant fast-forwarding and skipping every twenty-some minutes. Be that as it may, the 1977 DOCTOR WHO adventure "THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG" is quite appropriate for Halloween viewing with its seemingly dozens of horror tropes; everything from Sherlock Holmes' "Giant Rat of Sumatra" to Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu to the 1945 classic DEAD OF NIGHT are referenced. This was the final series produced by Philip Hinchcliffe; perhaps best known for amping up the gothic horror element in DOCTOR WHO and he certainly went out with a bang (although he apparently didn't know he was going out at the time). The occasion for my rewatch of TALONS is the brand-new special edition DVD just released by BBC Video; it's a whopping 3 DVD package featuring 2 discs of special features and an updated remastering of the series. This special edition DVD might confuse those unaware that THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG was voted by Doctor Who fans in 2003 as the best story ever. I haven't compared the new DVD with the previous release but the print quality certainly looks the best I can remember seeing it.

THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG finds the Doctor (Tom Baker) and his companion Leela (Louise Jameson) travelling to Victorian London (circa the 1890s) to take in a music hall performance. A series of women have gone missing in the fog-bound streets (shades of Jack the Ripper -- Saucy Jack is actually mentioned on screen). Magician Li H'sen Chang (John Bennett) is performing nightly with his creepy ventriloquist dummy Mr. Sin (Deep Roy) which recalls the Michael Redgrave sequence of the animated doll in DEAD OF NIGHT (1945). There are Chinese tongs roaming London killing with their silver hatchets (evoking Sax Rohmer and countless "yellow peril" pulps). Down in the bowels of the theatre there are ghost sightings (actually holograms) and a mysterious masked figure (PHANTOM OF THE OPERA anyone???). There are also giant rats in the sewers (not necessarily from Sumatra) and bodies pulled from the Thames with grappling hooks. All this combined with the Doctor parading around in Sherlock Holmes deerstalker and you have a cracking Victorian yarn. And we haven't even mentioned the time machine disguised as a Chinese puzzle box bringing a 51st century war criminal named Magnus Greel (Michael Spice) back in time and a huge golden statue that shoots death from its eyes. TALONS has been accused in recent years by PC nitwits with nothing better to do of being "racist"; upon watching the programme these accusations quickly fall apart. The only Chinese character portrayed by an Anglo is Li H'sen Chang by John Bennett who turns in a superb villainous but understated performance as well as a very dignified one. All the other Chinese actors do not cavort about in stereotypical "no tickee no shirtee" portrayals but in fact play it straight as well. The English characters naturally do evince racist attitudes towards the Chinese deliberately because that's how it was back in the late 19th century. To suddenly have police inspectors NOT treat Chinese immigrants condescendingly would be innaccurate and bad storytelling. And even at that, the colonial attitude of the police shown in this serial is still quite mild; no racial epithets stronger than "Chinee" are used as I recall. The direction by David Mahoney of Robert Holmes' script rockets along with suspense and action aplenty. In fact, unlike most six-parters in DOCTOR WHO, TALONS does not suffer from the tradition midway slump found in almost all other DOCTOR WHO stories which last six episodes. The six episodes zip by and before you know it the show is over! Despite budget limitations, the sets and costumes look sumptuous and everything works spectacularly well (with the exception, of course, of the muppet-like giant rats). The cast is also top-notch with splendid performances by all from the biggest role to the smallest. It's hard to single out anyone from the cast because there are so many excellent performances. John Bennett, as stated, is wonderful as Li H'sen Chang with a sly wit and a threatening gravitas. Delightful performances by Christopher Benjamin (as theater boss Henry Gordon Jago) and Trevor Baxter (as Professor Litefoot) turned these two characters into a comedy/adventure team who have gone on to feature in several audio adventures. Deep Roy as the sinister Mr. Sin is wonderfully creepy with odd body movements and an evil voice. Even a one-scene performance by Patsy Smart as a comic crone rubbernecking as the police pull a body from the river is a wonderful performance; Smart actually took her false teeth out right before the cameras rolled and handed them to the director to hold for her. As to the fans who voted TALONS as the best DOCTOR WHO story ever . . . I wouldn't go that far. It's certainly in my top ten, probably, but I think my favourite of all would have to be THE SEEDS OF DOOM. Love me a good Krynoid! +++

The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #23 is BUGS BUNNY'S TRICK 'N' TREAT HALLOWEEN FUN #3 from 1955.

2011-10-22T04:21:00.000-04:00

2011-10-22T01:35:00.002-04:00

EVEN "WILL IT BLEND" IS IN THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT!!! Today we present a new "Will It Blend" video which answers that age-old question: "Can I grind up bones in my blender for Grizelda's Ghastly Gourmet Gumbo???" The answer is in the video above.

HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK COVER OF THE DAY #22: DELL GIANT #36 (1960).

2011-10-21T01:30:00.005-04:00

HALLOWE'EN BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. The ghosts of all things past parade, Emerging from the mist and shade That hid them from our gaze, And, full of song and ringing mirth, In one glad moment of rebirth, And again they walk the ways of earth As in the ancient days. The beacon light shines on the hill, The will-o'-wisps the forests fill With flashes filched from noon; And witches on their broomsticks spry Speed here and yonder in the sky, And lift their strident voices high Unto the Hunter's Moon. The air resounds with tuneful notes From myriads of straining throats, All hailing Folly Queen; So join the swelling choral throng, Forget your sorrow and your wrong, In one glad hour of joyous song To honor Hallowe'en! -John Kendrick Bangs

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The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #21 is THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #38 from 1980.

2011-10-19T06:43:00.008-04:00

DR. SHOCK'S MAD THEATER HALLOWEEN MOVIE OF THE DAY: DEAD SNOW. Here we have a Norwegian film from 2009 (original title: Død snø) which is not only a zombie film in the snow (a first if memory serves) but also a film with Nazi zombies! Now its unusual enough to have a zombie film come out of Norway -- according to the producer Terje Stromstad, they had to get private funding (as well as selling waffles on the street to raise money!!!) because the Norwegian government wouldn't put up the money. Stromstad has also said that zombies are nasty but the only thing nastier is Nazi zombies -- so they ran with it. Now, of course, if you're like me the thought of Nazi zombies immediately brings to mind the 70s underwater Nazi zombie flick SHOCK WAVES featuring Peter Cushing and John Carradine; however that film was (to put it gently) not a howling success. DEAD SNOW is just different enough -- and in a snowy mountain location -- to make it quite an improvement on the earlier, rather minor, genre entry. Also, director Tommy Wirkola doesn't take himself or the film too seriously. While the film can probably be safely termed a horror/comedy, there is certainly enough real zombie action to keep straight horror fans satisfied. There are also more "film references" than you can shake a chainsaw at: everything from EVIL DEAD to PLATOON is referenced . . . which is rather appropriate since one of the characters is referred to as a "movie nerd". That character Erlend is played by Philip Seymour Hoffman . . .er, I'm sorry he just reminds me of Hoffman but is actually played by Jeppe Laursen . . . asks, in an early line in the film, "How many movies start with a group of friends on a trip to a cabin..." and starts naming off FRIDAY THE 13TH and EVIL DEAD. But enough of these preliminaries. What's the movie about?

Basically a group of young friends drive up to a remote mountain cabin for a skiing holiday around Easter. The cabin belongs to Sara, who is skiing cross-country instead of riding with the others. After the friends arrive at the cabin, a strange local wanders by and relates the history of the nearby town of Øksfjord. During the Nazi occupation of World War II, a force led by Standartenführer Herzog (Ørjan Gamst) tortured and terrorized the populace for three years. As the war drew to a close, the Nazis looted the town's valuables and killed those who resisted. The populace rose up and ambushed the Nazis but Herzog and the remainder of his force was chased into the mountains where they were thought to have frozen to death. The stranger advises the young people to tread lightly since there are evil forces in the area. The next morning Sara has not reached the cabin yet. Sara's boyfriend Vegard (Jason Patric....er, I'm sorry he just reminds me of Jason Patric but is actually Lasse Valdal) decides to take off in the snowmobile to look for her. While Vegard is gone, the others find a box containing the looted valuables which reawakens the Nazi zombies. Vegard finds the stranger ripped apart in his tent; he later falls through the snow into an underground cavern filled with Nazi zombies. Meanwhile, the rest are attacked in their cabin by more zombies. While some distract the zombies away from the cabin, another group sneaks away to try to get help. All of our separated cast end up battling Nazi zombies simultaneously. While the film is actually quite good up to this point, things actually get much more interesting as each group separates to battle zombies and the film gets even better.

The action sequences (and, of course, the gore) are impressive and quite entertaining. The blood and gore is done in a light way (if that's possible) if not played for outright comedy; therefore it doesn't make you sick but might elicit an appreciative laugh. While there are a great deal of filmic references (which are also greatly appreciated by yours truly) and no new ground is broken with this film, DEAD SNOW does manage to do it all with style and freshness. The acting is actually very good and the effects are mostly excellent. The directing is crisp and well-paced with the accent on slam-bang Nazi zombie action. All in all, this one's a lot of fun.

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Oh and today's (this post if for October 20th) Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day is NIGHTMARE #11 from 1954.

2011-10-19T03:14:00.012-04:00

THE BOOGIE MAN WILL GET YOU IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT! Or at least Dennison's Bogie Books which were an (almost) annual publication from 1909 to 1934. These bygone books were printed by the Dennison Manufacturing Company to demonstrate the uses for their products such as crepe paper Halloween costumes, decorations and "tablescapes" to use the nauseatingly current term. These books go for hundreds and even thousands of dollars to collectors but there are thankfully reprint editions one can have for considerably less; I myself have 4 of them. Dennison's Bogie Books are a priceless way to get a glimpse at the early 20th century way of looking at Halloween; the time period when Halloween as a major holiday was really first coming into prominence. Pumpkins, witches, ghosts and black cats abound in the wonderful artwork strewn throughout these tomes and it might be a good idea to give you a glimpse at some of the artwork to be found therein. These are the images most true lovers of Halloween think of -- the vintage Halloween look is so nostalgic even for most of us who weren't even CLOSE to being alive in 1909. Which is just about all of us. Those were the days when Halloween wasn't cute, cuddly and commercialized but tried to be a little bit scary.

The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #19 is Haunt of Fear #12 (1952). Yay, maggoty grave dirt from Ghastly Graham Ingles!

2011-10-18T04:32:00.003-04:00

JACK O'LANTERN'S COUSIN THE BUTTERNUT SQUASH. As a Halloween sidebar, I wanted to post this great recipe for Butternut Squash Soup by Cooking4Bimbos on youtube. Not much says Autumn more than butternut squash (or acorn squash either for that matter - and I'll betcha this recipe works equally well with that). So if you're battling demons or exorcising spirits or re-stringin a witch's broom, keep your strength up with some nourishing hot butternut squash soup to keep the October chill winds out of your rattling bones. Take a look at the recipe in the video below.

2011-10-18T04:30:00.000-04:00

2011-10-18T01:54:00.000-04:00

2011-10-18T01:53:00.000-04:00

2011-10-18T00:17:00.004-04:00

FOR TODAY'S HALLOWEEN TREAT I THOUGHT I'D BRING YOU A COUPLE SPOOKY CARTOONS: Mickey Mouse in the 1933 toon "THE MAD DOCTOR" and the 1937 Ub Iwerks "SKELETON FROLIC". Enjoy!

HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK COVER OF THE DAY #18: CRAZY #6 (1974).

2011-10-17T00:40:00.016-04:00

WITCHES WITCHES WITCHES ON THE CANVAS. As a special Halloween treat, we have here some instances in the history of art wherein the devilish legion of cackling Halloweenie witches have been featured by master painters.

RIDE THROUGH THE MURKY AIR by John Gilbert

DIE VIER HEXEN by Albrecht Durer

TAM O'SHANTER AND THE WITCHES by John Faed

THE MAGIC CIRCLE by John William Waterhouse

TROIS FEMMES ET TROIS LOUPS by D'Eugene Grasset

HEXENSZENE by David Treniers the Younger

AN ASSEMBLY OF WITCHES by Frans Franken

MACBETH & BANQUO MEETING THE WITCHES ON THE HEATH by Theodore Chasseriau

VISION OF FAUST by Luis Ricardo Falero

THE WITCHES SABBATH by Luis Ricardo Falero

WITCHES IN THE AIR by Francesco de Goya

THE GREAT GOAT by Francesco de Goya

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The Halloweenie Comic Book Cover for the Day #17 is THREE-DIMENSIONAL SEDUCTION OF THE INNOCENT #1 by the late great Dave Stevens.

2011-10-16T00:51:00.007-04:00

THE SPECTRE BRIDEGROOM is an old English ghost tale taken from Robert Hunt's "POPULAR ROMANCES OF THE WEST OF ENGLAND: or, The Drolls, Traditions and Superstitions of Old Cornwall" published in 1865.

"Long, long ago a farmer named Lenine lived in Boscean. He had but one son, Frank Lenine, who was indulged into waywardness by both his parents. In addition to the farm servants, there was one, a young girl, Nancy Trenoweth, who especially assisted Mrs. Lenine in all the various duties of a small farmhouse.

Nancy Trenoweth was very pretty, and although perfectly uneducated, in the sense in which we now employ the term education, she possessed many native graces, and she had acquired much knowledge, really useful to one whose aspirations would probably never rise higher than to be mistress of a farm of a few acres.

Frank Lenine and Nancy were thrown as much together as if they had been brother and sister. Although it was evident to all the parish that Frank and Nancy were seriously devoted to each other, the young man's parents were blind to it, and were taken by surprise when one day Frank asked his father and mother to consent to his marrying Nancy. The old man felt it would be a degradation for a Lenine to marry a Trenoweth, and, in the most unreasoning manner, he resolved it should never be.

The first act was to send Nancy home to Alsia Mill, where her parents resided; the next was an imperious command to his son never again to see the girl. The commands of the old are generally powerless upon the young where the affairs of the heart are concerned. So were they upon Frank. He, who was rarely seen of an evening beyond the garden of his father's cottage, was now as constantly absent from his home.

Rarely an evening passed that did not find Nancy and Frank together in some retired nook. The Holy Well was a favorite meeting place, and here the most solemn vows were made. Locks of hair were exchanged; a wedding ring, taken from the finger of a corpse, was broken, when they vowed that they would be united either dead or alive; and they even climbed at night the granite pile at Treryn, and swore by the Logan Rock the same strong vow.

Time passed onward thus unhappily, and, as the result of the endeavors to quench out the passion by force, it grew stronger under the repressing power, and, like imprisoned steam, eventually burst through all restraint. Nancy's parents discovered at length that moonlight meetings between two untrained, impulsive youths, had a natural result, and they were now doubly earnest in their endeavors to compel Frank to marry their daughter.

The elder Lenine could not be brought to consent to this, and he firmly resolved to remove his son entirely from what he considered the hateful influences of the Trenoweths. He resolved to send him away to sea, hoping thus to wean him from this love madness. Frank, poor fellow, with the best intentions, was not capable of any sustained effort, and consequently he at length succumbed to his father; and, to escape his persecution, he entered a ship bound for India, and bade adieu to his native land.

Frank could not write, and this happened in days when letters could be forwarded only with extreme difficulty, consequently Nancy never heard from her lover.

A baby had been born into a troublesome world, and the infant became a real solace to the young mother. Young Nancy lived for her child, and on the memory of its father. She felt that no distance could separate their souls, that no time could be long enough to destroy the bond between them.

The winter was coming on, and nearly three years had passed away since Frank Lenine left his country. It was Allhallows Eve, and two of Nancy's companions persuaded her--no very difficult task--to go with them and sow hemp seed.

At midnight the three maidens stole out unperceived into Kimyall town place to perform their incantation. Nancy was the first to sow, the others being less bold than she.

Boldly she advanced, saying, as she scattered the seed: Hemp seed I sow thee, Hemp seed grow thee; And he who will my true love be, Come after me And shaw thee.

This was repeated three times, when looking back over her left shoulder, she saw Lenine; but he looked so angry that she shrieked with fear, and broke the spell. One of the other girls, however, resolved now to make trial of the spell, and the result of her labors was the vision of a white coffin. Fear now fell on all, and they went home sorrowful, to spend each one a sleepless night.

November came with its storms, and during one terrific night a large vessel was thrown upon the rocks in Bernowhall Cliff, and, beaten by the impetuous waves, she was soon in pieces. Amongst the bodies of the crew washed ashore, nearly all of whom had perished, was Frank Lenine. He was not dead when found, but the only words he lived to speak were begging the people to send for Nancy Trenoweth, that he might make her his wife before he died.

Rapidly sinking, Frank was borne by his friends on a litter to Boscean, but he died as he reached the town place. His parents, overwhelmed in their own sorrows, thought nothing of Nancy, and without her knowing that Lenine had returned, the poor fellow was laid in his last bed, in Burian Churchyard.

On the night of the funeral, Nancy went, as was her custom, to lock the door of the house, and as was her custom too, she looked out into the night. At this instant a horseman rode up in hot haste, called her by name, and hailed her in a voice that made her blood boil.

The voice was the voice of Lenine. She could never forget that; and the horse she now saw was her sweetheart's favorite colt, on which he had often ridden at night to Alsia. The rider was imperfectly seen; but he looked very sorrowful, and deadly pale, still Nancy knew him to be Frank Lenine.

He told her that he had just arrived home, and that the first moment he was at liberty he had taken horse to fetch his loved one, and to make her his bride. Nancy's excitement was so great, that she was easily persuaded to spring on the horse behind him, that they might reach his home before the morning.

When she took Lenine's hand a cold shiver passed through her, and as she grasped his waist to secure herself in her seat, her arm became as stiff as ice. She lost all power of speech, and suffered deep fear, yet she know not why. The moon had arisen, and now burst out in a full flood of light, through the heavy clouds which had obscured it. The horse pursued its journey with great rapidity, and whenever in weariness it slackened its speed, the peculiar voice of the rider aroused its drooping energies. Beyond this no word was spoken since Nancy had mounted behind her lover. They now came to Trove Bottom, where there was no bridge at that time; they dashed into the river. The moon shone full in their faces. Nancy looked into the stream, and saw that the rider was in a shroud and other grave clothes. She now knew that she was being carried away by a spirit, yet she had no power to save herself; indeed, the inclination to do so did not exist.

On went the horse at a furious pace, until they came to the blacksmith's shop near Burian Church-town, when she knew by the light from the forge fire thrown across the road that the smith was still at his labors. She now recovered speech. "Save me! Save me! Save me!" she cried with all her might. The smith sprang from the door of the smithy, with a red-hot iron in his hand, and as the horse rushed by, caught the woman's dress and pulled her to the ground. The spirit, however, also seized Nancy's dress in one hand, and his grasp was like that of a vice. The horse passed like the wind, and Nancy and the smith were pulled down as far as the old Almshouses, near the churchyard. Here the horse for a moment stopped. The smith seized that moment, and with his hot iron burned off the dress from the rider's hand, thus saving Nancy, more dead than alive; while the rider passed over the wall of the churchyard, and vanished on the grave in which Lenine had been laid but a few hours before.

The smith took Nancy into his shop, and he soon aroused some of his neighbors, who took the poor girl back to Alsia. Her parents laid her on her bed. She spoke no word, but to ask for her child, to request her mother to give up her child to Lenine's parents, and her desire to be buried in his grave. Before the morning light fell on the world, Nancy had breathed her last breath.

A horse was seen that night to pass through the Church-town like a ball from a musket, and in the morning Lenine's colt was found dead in Bernowhall Cliff, covered with foam, its eyes forced from its head, and its swollen tongue hanging out of its mouth. On Lenine's grave was found the piece of Nancy's dress which was left in the spirit's hand when the smith burnt her from his grasp.

It is said that one or two of the sailors who survived the wreck related after the funeral, how, on the 30th of October, at night, Lenine was like one mad; they could scarcely keep him in the ship. He seemed more asleep than awake, and, after great excitement, he fell as if dead upon the deck, and lay so for hours. When he came to himself, he told them that he had been taken to the village of Kimyall, and that if he ever married the woman who had cast the spell, he would make her suffer the longest day she had to live for drawing his soul out of his body.

Poor Nancy was buried in Lenine's grave, and her companion in sowing hemp seed, who saw the white coffin, slept beside her within the year."

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What will our Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #16 be? Well, it looks like THE SPIRIT #335 from 1946!

2011-10-15T01:25:00.011-04:00

THE VERY FIRST BOOK OF HORROR STORIES I EVER BOUGHT FOR MYSELF WAS "THE ARROW BOOK OF GHOST STORIES". The copy I bought was copyrighted 1969 and I was in first grade. I would have been four years old (or five maybe) and I bought it at school from the Scholastic book catalogue they gave us several times a year. My copy has been through the mill so several months ago I bought a new copy (this one was copyrighted 1960) online and I've been blasting from my pasting ever since. The book was edited by Nora Kramer and contains some ghost stories which are rather close to my heart such as KING O' THE CATS by Joseph Jacobs, JIMMY TAKES VANISHING LESSONS by Walter R. Brooks and THE WATER GHOST OF HARROWBY HALL by John Kendrick Bangs. JIMMY TAKES VANISHING LESSONS also has the distinction of appearing on Alfred Hitchcock's Ghost Stories album while THE WATER GHOST is read by Vincent Price on one of his classic Caedmon albums of the 70s. THE ARROW BOOK OF GHOST STORIES also has the good fortune to be filled with wonderfully spooky illustrations by George Wilde and I thought I'd take this opportunity to show you some more of them.

Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #15: DETECTIVE COMICS #414 (1971). Love me some haunted lighthouse!

2011-10-14T01:34:00.017-04:00

DAY TWO OF OUR DELIGHTFULLY DOLLED-UP DEMIGODDESSES. Enjoy some more of our starlets celebrating Halloween.

BETTIE PAGE

CLARA BOW

VERA-ELLEN

MAILA NURMI aka VAMPIRA

PAULETTE GODDARD

VIRGINIA BRUCE (the Invisible Woman herself)

MYRNA LOY

NAN GREY (of DRACULA'S DAUGHTER & INVISIBLE MAN RETURNS)

JUDY GARLAND (Dear Mr. Goblin I am writing this to yoooouuuu...)

BETTY GRABLE (once again from the same photo shoot)

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And for today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day #14 we have THE MONSTER OF FRANKENSTEIN #1 from 1973 - which was made into a Power Records dramatization I've had since I was a little ghoul.

2011-10-13T01:47:00.013-04:00

HALLOWEEN GOES HOLLYWOOD! Whereas the Fall seasons brings thoughts of pumpkin pie, we thought we'd offer you some Halloween cheesecake. What could be better than a bevy of Hollywood starlets and screen queens celebrating Halloween by dressing up and saying "Boo!"?

BETTY GRABLE

VERONICA LAKE

AVA GARDNER

ANN SAVAGE (femme fatale of DETOUR)

JOAN CRAWFORD

MARTHA VICKERS

JANET LEIGH

YVONNE DECARLO

IDA LUPINO

Come back tomorrow for more lascivious lovelies!

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Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day #13 is SECRETS OF HAUNTED HOUSE #5 from 1976. . .with Berni Wrighton doin' that Berni Wrightson thang!

2011-10-12T00:24:00.008-04:00

DR. SHOCK'S HORROR THEATER HALLOWEEN MOVIE OF THE DAY: THE RAVEN (1963). Tiring of the string of Edgar Allan Poe films he was making for American International Pictures, Roger Corman and scriptwriter Richard Matheson opted for comedy with their version of the perennial favourite Poe-em. The film was a success, according to Corman himself, because the movie trailer made no mention that the film was a comedy. As usual, Matheson takes Poe only as his jumping-off point by using one set piece in the movie as based on the actual poem and interpolating the rest of the movie whole-cloth; he did the same thing with the earlier PIT AND THE PENDULUM. Here we have the actual poem figuring only in the opening scenes as Dr. Craven (Vincent Price) sits alone in his chamber and is disturbed by a raven rapping, not as his chamber door, but at his window. The raven does flap over to land on a bust of Pallas but, when Price asks the monstrous bird if he'll ever see his lost Lenore again, the raven croaks in Peter Lorre's voice: "How the hell should I know?!?!" The raven is actually low-grade sorcerer Dr. Bedlo (Peter Lorre) who has been changed into a raven by the powerful mage Dr. Scarabus (Boris Karloff). After some hijinx conjuring up a potion to change him back to human form, Dr. Bedlo enlists the aid of Dr. Craven to go seek revenge on Scarabus by telling him he's seen Craven's dead wife Lenore (Hazel Court) at Scarabus' castle. The two magicians travel to the castle along with Craven's daughter Estelle (Olive Sturgess) and Bedlo's son Rexford (Jack Nicholson). The seemingly kindly Scarabus welcomes them and offers them dinner and lodging from the storm; however, Scarabus is not as innocent as he seems. THE RAVEN is a lot of fun and the chance to see these three great horror icons enjoying themselves is a priceless gift; the fun would become even greater when Corman would combines Price, Lorre, Karloff AND Basil Rathbone in the Jacques Tourneur directed THE COMEDY OF TERRORS (one of my all-time favourite films) a year later. Young Jack Nicholson is splendid as Lorre's son; constantly fussing and fiddling with Lorre's collar and coat-buttons like a doting son seeking his father's approval while Lorre hurls abuse at him. The legendary on-set clash of acting styles featuring Karloff's classically-trained preparedness with Lorre's brilliant ad-libbing was brought together by Price bridging both sides results in three superb comic performances from the trio of terror. This film is a Halloween party on celluloid -- if you don't believe me just take a look at Vinnie's party hat!

Today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day #12 is JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #94 (1971).

2011-10-11T01:07:00.006-04:00

THE HAND OF GLORY.

That wonderful Halloween prop which always comes in handy, the Hand of Glory has an extensive amount of folklore attached to it. Here we have Sabine Baring-Gould's 1873 edition of "Curious Myths of the Middle Ages" concerning our favourite diabolical digits:

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"The Hand of Glory ... is the hand of a man who has been hung, and it is prepared in the following manner: Wrap the hand in a piece of winding-sheet, drawing it tight, so as to squeeze out the little blood which may remain; then place it in an earthenware vessel with saltpeter, salt, and long pepper, all carefully and thoroughly powdered. Let it remain a fortnight in this pickle till it is well dried, then expose it to the sun in the dog-days, till it is completely parched, or, if the sun be not powerful enough, dry it in an oven heated with vervain and fern. Next make a candle with the fat of a hung man, virgin-wax, and Lapland sesame.

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Observe the use of this herb: The hand of glory is used to hold this candle when it is lighted. Douster Swivel, in The Antiquary [by Sir Walter Scott] adds, "You do make a candle, and put into de hand of glory at de proper hour and minute, with de proper ceremonisth; and he who seeksh for treasuresh shall find none at all!" [Robert] Southey places it in the hands of the enchanter Mohareb, when he would lull to sleep Yohak, the giant guardian of the caves of Babylon. He --

From his wallet drew a human hand, Shrivel'd, and dry, and black; And fitting, as he spake, A taper in his hold, Pursued: "A murderer on the stake had died; I drove the vulture from his limbs, and lopt The hand that did the murder, and drew up The tendon strings to close its grasp; And in the sun and wind Parch'd it, nine weeks exposed. The taper . . . But not here the place to impart, Nor hast thou undergone the rites That fit thee to partake the mystery. Look! It burns clear, but with the air around, Its dead ingredients mingle deathliness."

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Several stories of this terrible hand are related in [William] Henderson's Folklore of the Northern Counties of England. I will only quote one, which was told me by a laboring man in the West Riding of Yorkshire, and which is the same story as that given by Martin Anthony Delrio in his Disquisitiones Magicæ, in 1593, and which is printed in the Appendix to that book of M. Henderson.

+++

One dark night, after the house had been closed, there came a tap at the door of a lone inn, in the midst of a barren moor. The door was opened, and there stood without, shivering and shaking, a poor beggar, his rags soaked with rain, and his hands white with cold. He asked piteously for a lodging, and it was cheerfully granted him; though there was not a spare bed in the house, he might lie along on the mat before the kitchen fire, and welcome. All in the house went to bed except the servant lassie, who from the kitchen could see into the large room through a small pane of glass let into the door. When everyone save the beggar was out of the room, she observed the man draw himself up from the floor, seat himself at the table, extract a brown withered human hand from his pocket, and set it upright in the candlestick; he then anointed the fingers, and, applying a match to them, they began to flame.

Filled with horror, the girl rushed up the back stairs, and endeavored to arouse her master and the men of the house; but all in vain, they slept a charmed sleep; and finding all her efforts ineffectual, she hastened downstairs again. Looking again through the small window, she observed the fingers of the hand flaming, but the thumb gave no light: this was because one of the inmates of the house was not asleep.

The beggar began collecting all the valuables of the house into a large sack -- no lock withstood the application of the flaming hand. Then, putting it down, the man entered an adjoining apartment. The moment he was gone, the girl rushed in, and seizing the hand, attempted to extinguish the quivering yellow flames, which wavered at the fingers' ends. She blew at them in vain; she poured some drops from a beer-jug over them, but that only made the fingers burn the brighter; she cast some water upon them, but still without extinguishing the light. As a last resource, she caught up a jug of milk, and dashing it over the four lambent flames, they went out immediately.

Uttering a piercing cry, she rushed to the door of the room the beggar had entered, and locked it. The whole house was aroused, and the thief was secured and hung.

+++ We must not forget Tom [Thomas] Ingoldsby's rendering of a similar legend: +++ Open, lock, To the Dead Man's knock! Fly, bolt, and bar, and band! Nor move, nor swerve, Joint, muscle, or nerve, At the spell of the Dead Man's hand! Sleep, all who sleep! -- Wake, all who wake! But be as the dead for the Dead Man's sake! Now lock, nor bolt, nor bar avails, Nor stout oak panel thick-studded with nails. Heavy and harsh the hinges creak, Though they had been oil'd in the course of the week. The door opens wide as wide may be, And there they stand, That murderous band, Lit by the light of the Glorious Hand, By one! -- by two! -- by three!

+++

But, instead of pursuing the fable through its further ramifications, let us apply the schamir of comparative mythology to the myth itself, and see whether before it the bolts do not give way, and the great doors of the cavern of mysteries expand, and discover to us the origin of the superstitious belief in this sea-prince's worm, the stone of wisdom , sesame, forget-me-not, or the hand of glory. What are its effects?

It bursts locks, and shatters stones, it opens in the mountains the hidden treasures hitherto concealed from men, or it paralyzes, lulling into a magic sleep, or, again, it restores to life.

+++

HALLOWEENIE COMIC BOOK COVER OF THE DAY #11: TOMB OF DRACULA #55 from 1977

2011-10-10T00:57:00.010-04:00

A HALLOWEEN HODGEPODGE! One of my favourite books as a kid was "The Hodgepodge Book" (1972) by Duncan Emrich with great illustrations by Ib Ohlsson published by Four Winds Press of New York (sadly out of print). As the subtitle explains, The Hodgepodge Book is "an almanac of American folklore. . . containing all manner of curious, interesting, and out-of-the-way information drawn from American folklore, and not to be found anywhere else in the world; as well as jokes, conundrums, riddles, puzzles, and other matter designed to amuse and entertain; all of it instructive and delightful." Phew! That's tellin' 'em! As the book focuses on each and every holiday, I thought I'd provide you with what the book says about Halloween - and since I can't find any Ib Ohlssen illustrations on the lousy internet, I thought I'd populate this post with some exquisite Halloween postcards from the Victorian era and the turn of the 20th century by the premiere postcard maker of the time: Tucks. All of these postcards are in the collection of my cousin Loran as well as a few which yours truly has managed to glom onto over the years. They perfectly evoke the era and the feel of the folklore which abounds in "The Hodgepodge Book"; especially the ones with the kiddies running around bobbing for apples and playing pranks. So let's get on with the Halloween Hodgepodge:

HALLOWEEN WITCHES

I'm going to town to smoke my pipe,

I won't be back until Saturday night --

Be sure and don't let the witch in!

Witches can only come out at midnight and they must be gone by the time the first morning star appears.

Witches are very curious, and they stop to count everything. You can protect yourself from witches by placing a broom or a bowl of salt outside your door. The witch will stop to count the straws in the broom and the grains of salt in the bowl. Before she can finish counting them, the morning star will appear, and then she will have to leave. You can also sleep with a sieve over your face. The witch will try to count all the holes in the sieve, but she will be unable to. (Just try it yourself sometime!)

Another very good way to keep witches at a distance is to hang a horseshoe over the door of your house or room. Witches cannot enter a house where there is a horseshoe, because before doing so they must travel every bit of the road that the horseshoe has traveled. This takes time, and the morning star will be palely shining just before dawn, and the witch will have to go.

Witches do not like the color blue because it is the color of the heavens. If you wear a blue bracelet or a blue bead, a witch cannot get you. If you paint your windowsill blue, a witch cannot come into your room.

If you carry a penny in your pocket or wear a new dime in each shoe, witches can't harm you.

Witches have fun on Halloween.

Always crush eggshells. The only way a witch can cross water is in an eggshell. When you have finished eating a soft-boiled egg out of the shell, push your spoon through the bottom of the shell and say, "Save a shipwreck!" If you do not do this, a witch may ride in the shell and cause a shipwreck.

A CHARM AGAINST EVIL SPIRITS

Hippity pippity trae me trow,

I went to the river to wash my toe,

But when I got there my chicken was dead:

Hey, biddy, jing shang, snake root, poke

root, lil, oppy, dill, dock, penny royal tea!

(The last words are the names of herbs, plants, and roots which evil spirits cannot abide. Some of the words are misspelled: jing shang probably stands for ginseng and oppy may be poppy. But that is the way rhymes are passed on from one person to another - by the sound and meaning, not necessarily by the spelling. The evil spirits understand the meaning! And they move!

GHOSTS

A ghost is never seen without mittens. (Ask anyone if they have ever seen a ghost without mittens).

Ghosts travel in a mantle of warm air. You sometimes feel a sudden warmth in the temperature while walking or riding in the country on a cool summer evening. This whiff of warm air that passes over you is the ghost traveling in its protective mantle.

If you count nine stars and nine bricks, and then look into a dark room, you will see a ghost.

A horse can see ghosts, and dogs with seven toes can see them.

People born at night never see ghosts.

If you count seven stars, and then count seven alleys, in the seventh alley you will see a ghost.

Ghosts vanish at cock crow

For today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day we have SCARY TALES #42 with Ditko doin' that Ditko thang!

2011-10-09T01:48:00.005-04:00

DOCTOR SHOCK'S MAD THEATER HALLOWEEN FILM OF THE DAY. Oh, those wonderful wacky giant landcrabs! ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS was one of those films I'd seen clips and stills from for decades but had never actually watched until ten years ago. Good old reliable Russell Johnson is among the players who are called upon to keep a straight face through this wonderful fifties B-movie funhouse made in about 10 weeks from pitching the title to releasing in theatres. We have an island that's collapsing and getting smaller, the voices of the dead broadcast through any metal object and giant landcrabs who absorb the mental energies of all the victims they've eaten! It's almost like the Revenge from Red Lobster (a possible tie-in for future ad campaigns). In fact, an alternate title Corman was toying with was "Attack of the Lobster Monsters"! These industrious and giant crabs can also generate blasts of heat and delicately snap every tube in a radio set neatle in half with their two foot long claws! Get the melted butter! Ronald Stein's wonderful musical accompaniment adds a touch of class to this quickie Corman classic. The point where the giant crab perches on a boulder and taunts the fleeing cast in a booming game show announcer voice: "So, you have wounded me" is a hoot. Our protaganists also manage to find oil; it must be magic oil because not only is it found on a Pacific island but also its the only oil I've ever seen that can run uphill. When you watch a 1950s Roger Corman monster movie, you should know exactly what you're in for and this movie is no exception. However, Roger still manages to infuse his films with more imagination and fun than his shoestring budgets and time restrictions would indicate. It amazes me that this movie (and many like it) made for a buck fifty are more enjoyable to watch and more thought-provoking than the multi-million dollar 3-years-in-production Hollywood time wasters they're unleashing on us today.

The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day is Vault of Horror #17!

2011-10-08T13:45:00.004-04:00

ALL RIGHT YOU WACKY WEIRDOS, REMEMBER VCR GAMES IN THE 80s??? Here's one which is the perfect game to play for the Halloween season: DOORWAYS TO HORROR. For those of you who are "Know-Nothing Tots", VCR games were big for a hot five minutes in the 1980s. They were your typical board games but with the addition of that keen new invention: the VCR. You'd pop a VHS tape into the VCR and then play along with whatever it told you to do on the TV screen. DOORWAYS TO HORROR is a game I actually never owned but my best doddy Cheeks did and we played it several times. I wonder if he still has it? The game was made by Pressman and released in 1986. In the game, the players would draw cards and go through a series of lettered doors through which some old low budget B-horror movie clips would play accompanied by spooky music and a whimsical narrator/game master of terrormonies. Ah, those were the days. Below this post you can actually watch the DOORWAYS TO HORROR videotape yourself. How great is that!?!

2011-10-08T13:44:00.000-04:00

2011-10-08T01:05:00.004-04:00

WES CRAVEN'S 10 FAVOURITE SCAAAAAAAAARY MOVIES FOR HALLOWEEN:

DON'T LOOK NOW (1973)

BLOW-UP (1966)

PSYCHO (1960)

THE VIRGIN SPRING (1960)

REPULSION (1965)

LE BELLE ET LA BETE (1946) aka BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

WAR OF THE WORLDS (1953)

FRANKENSTEIN (1931)

NOSFERATU (1922)

THE BAD SEED (1956)

And the Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day just happens to be Arrgh! #2 from 1975.

2011-10-07T00:38:00.007-04:00

DOCTOR SHOCK'S HORROR THEATER HALLOWEEN MOVIE OF THE DAY: SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD (2004). Well, I managed to do it. I chose a movie that combines kung fu with horror for Halloween viewing! SHAO LIN JIANG SHI (or SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD) stars the great Chia Hui Liu (or known in the West as Gordon Liu): the Master Killer of THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN, HEROES OF THE EAST and THE EIGHT DIAGRAM POLE FIGHTER to name a few. SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD was filmed after Gordo's turn in Quentin Tarantino's KILL BILL -- or is that TWO turns? Anyway, Gordo stars here as Pak (otherwise known as "Brother White") who is escorting those lovable hopping vampires across country to be buried. Who doesn't love hopping vampires?!?! Naturally, things go awry for Pak and his two students and the hopping vampires eventually break loose from their spell and go on a rampage. Combine this with tons of zombies clawing their way out of the earth and the hijinx are well underway. SVED borrows quite a lot from past classics of Chinese comedy/horror films such as the mega-hit MR. VAMPIRE and Sammo Hung's wonderful ENCOUNTERS OF THE SPOOKY KIND and this film is sadly not up to their level. However, the special effects (with CG pizzazz along for the ride) are actually quite top notch. Gordo doesn't do a whole lot of fighting (but at his age who's kvetching) but instead does more of the magic wielding stuff. He also has a rival for leadership of the school in Hak (aka "Brother Black") played by THE STORY OF RICK AND IRON FIST's Siu-Wong Fan with a fashionable hair-do. I've seen this movie described as a "gore fest" but that must be by people who haven't actually seen the film. Sure zombies explode and all that good stuff but it's not done in a juicy/gorey way so, if you don't like explicit gore, don't be put off because there's none of that here. While definitely no great film, SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD is fun and diverting for fans of this genre. The film actually ends VERY abruptly and you may be stunned at the suddenness of the end credits; however, keep in mind that there was a sequel planned (which I haven't seen) that picks up where this film left off.

And for today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day we have SCREAM #9 from 1974. Love me a bloody mummy!

2011-10-06T01:44:00.005-04:00

ROB ZOMBIE'S 9 FAVOURITE HORROR MOVIES FOR HALLOWEEN:

DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)

WHITE ZOMBIE (1932)

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)

ZOMBIE (1979)

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1973)

28 DAYS LATER (2002)

CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) THE RE-ANIMATOR (1985)

ZOMBIE LAKE (1981)

The Halloween Comic Book Cover of the Day is Doctor Strange #60 from 1983.

2011-10-05T04:47:00.004-04:00

DECEIVING THE DEVIL FOR HALLOWEEN! If you ever find yourself needing to outwit the Devil one of these chill October nights, you might find this old German folktale quite useful. This is taken from the 1848 tome "Norddeutsche Sagen, Märchen und Gebräuche aus Meklenburg, Pommern, der Mark, Sachsen, Thüringen, Braunschweig, Hannover, Oldenburg und Westfalen" by A. Kuhn and W. Schwartz:

"There were once three happy-go-lucky fellows who made a pact with the devil, promising their souls to him on a certain date if he would make them rich. A further condition was that he would have to grant them one last wish when he came to get them. The devil agreed to this.

The first man hauled gigantic stone blocks down from a mountain from morning until evening, and when his time was up and the devil came to get him, he told the devil to replace all the stones back on the mountain within one day. But the devil did not need a day; he finished the task in five minutes and took him away. Then the devil came for the second fellow, who following the pact had gone immediately to a tavern where he joyfully spent every day eating and drinking to his heart's content, for he had all the money he could use. When he saw the devil coming he was full of good cheer and made no sign of getting ready to leave. The latter told him to make haste, for his time was up.

The fellow said, "Now, now, I still have some time. My hour hasn't come yet." Walking back and forth in his room he finally broke wind mightily and then said to the devil, "Bring that back to me!"

The devil was not able to do this, and he left in an sour mood.

I cannot tell you what the third fellow did to defeat the devil. If you want to know, you'll have to ask the old tavern keeper at Steina. By now it will have come back to him."

And today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day is The Occult Files of Dr. Spektor #9 (1974). One of my favourites.

2011-10-04T03:29:00.011-04:00

DOCTOR SHOCK'S MAD THEATRE HALLOWEEN MOVIE #3: HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON. Here we have an Italian giallo directed by Mario Bava which is quite a hoot. The film itself is quite silly but some sources refer to it as a horror "comedy" and I'm inclined to agree. This 1970 film, like skajillions of others, is heavily influenced by Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO a decade before; there are mommy issues and transvestism in bridal gowns. There is also an incredibly stylish-looking film because not only does Bava direct but the Maestro is also the director of photography (his first gig in which he excelled). Stephen Forsyth (and I'm sorry but he looks just like Adam Ant's older brother) plays John Harrington who runs a design house specializing in bridal gowns. Unfortunately, he also likes to hatchet women to death in their wedding gowns because . . . get this . . . a woman should know love once and then die! Um, pardon me if I don't ask you to the prom then, Johnny boy! Almost the first words John speaks to the viewer (in voice over) are absolutely priceless and I need to put a recording of them on my answering machine at once! While shaving in an ornate mirror, John thinks to himself: " My name is John Harrington. I'm 30 years old. I'm a paranoiac. Paranoiac. An enchanting word, so civilized, full of possibilities. The truth is, I am completely mad. The realization which annoys me at first, but is now amusing to me. Quite amusing. Nobody suspects I am a madman. A dangerous murderer. Not Mildred, my wife. Nor the employees of my fashion center. Nor of course my customers." How can you not love THAT in a leading man?!?! And speaking of the little women, Mildred (played in wonderful full-on ball-busting mode by Laura Betti) will not give John his much-wanted divorce but instead plans to hang around "till death do us part" just to make his life hell. It's truly a great Joan Crawford-like performance. And the best part is that, when John finally does get around to killing her, she STILL doesn't go away. Her ghost continues to follow John around (priceless) but she is visible to other people instead of John. This leads to waiters and waitresses bringing her ghost drinks and coffee and biddies at garden parties having conversations with her (which to John looks like they're talking to an empty chair). Although Mildred does appear to John now and then just to needle him. Wonderful! So this is, in fact, not your usual giallo but has some definite supernatural elements in it. It is certainly not Bava's best film (not even his second of third or fifth best) but there are still many things to enjoy in it; the tongue-in-cheek humour, the deadpan narration by John Harrington which sounds exactly like "Dr. Radford Bain" in THE KILLER SHREWS trailer (!), the beautiful photography of the Maestro himself and the wonderfully wacky goings-on with murdered brides and ghostly wives. So while I can't exactly recommend it, I will also say that, in the right frame of mind, you'll probably get a kick out of it too!

Oh and by the way. . .today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day #4 is CREEPY #39 (1971). Delicious art by Basil Gogos!

2011-10-04T02:53:00.008-04:00

HOLY SAINTED DEAR AUNT EDNA!!!! As someone who constantly lives in the past (Hiya Cheeks!), I am wont to remember vivid details of everything from the blackberry bushes in my neighbours back yard to Thor's drug store on Westfield Avenue where I bought a "Peanuts" paperback in 1974. So, its quite unusual for me to be taken completely by surprise with some beloved childhood artifact of which I had totally forgotten. But this is what happened today when I happened to stumble across a photo online of something I had and loved as a child but never remembered until now. It is the CASTLE DRACULA FUN HOUSE Colorforms Set which I had for years and somehow completely disappeared on me! I know I never would've given it up so I'm at a loss as to how it's no longer in my possession (and how I'd forgotten it all these years later). As a kid, I always loved Colorforms. If you don't know what they are, you probably need to consult the oracle. But basically they were a boxed collection of stickers made out of plastic (seen here) which you would peel off the black "tray" or "holder" and stick to the special boards included which had appropriate scenery on them (seen here) but they wouldn't stick to anything else. I even remember this aspect -- if you look at the coffin and the door you may notice they are designed to open so you can put a figure inside. Sweet! These were not stickers in the sense that we think of stickers today. Gosh, I don't know how to really explain them so they make any sense if'n you've no idea what Colorforms are. Do they even still make Colorforms??? Ah, you know what? It looks like they STILL MAKE 'EM! Wow, who knew?!?!! But anyway, when I unsuspectingly came across a photo of the front cover of CASTLE DRACULA FUN HOUSE, an intense wave of recognition and nostalgia wholloped into me as the memories came flooding back. A quick search of the oracle didn't being up much concerning this toy but I did manage to find these glorious photos which I shamefacedly admit to having hijacked from a blog called tracystoys.blogspot.com. I hope she will forgive me but these are the only images I can find of this long-lost and now much-lamented missing toy from my past. Go over to Tracy's Toys and read her amusing story of tracking down the colorforms set and her nerve-wracking odyssey trying to bid for each part of the set individually on ebay. Another painful point about my rediscovery is that this set apparently is considered one of the best Colorforms sets ever made and goes for a pretty penny on ebay etc. As Charlie Brown would say: "ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" But at least I can look at these photos and remember when. And what a perfect time for me to rediscover CASTLE DRACULA FUN HOUSE Colorforms then smack dab in the middle of the Halloween Countdown. This kinda thing is what doing this is all about!

2011-10-03T07:02:00.004-04:00

DOCTOR SHOCK'S HORROR THEATER HALLOWEENIE FILM OF THE DAY #2: WHITECHAPEL. While not strictly a film, this is the three episode first series of the 2009 WHITECHAPEL television programme I watched courtesy of the generosity of Weaverman over at the FLEAPIT OF THE MIND. Three episodes of about 45 minute duration each results in something like a movie when viewed back-to-back . . . . like what I did. In 2008, young DI Chandler is transferred to the Whitechapel police department where he is put in charge of a group of slovenly, jaded coppers led by DS Miles. No sooner does Chandler get there then a series of murders break out in which the female victims are killed in exactly the same way as Jack the Ripper's victims in 1888. We have a Ripper copycat on our hands. In the midst of trying to convince everyone that his theory of a Ripper copycat is correct, Chandler stumbles across a Ripperologist named Buchan who gives guided tours of the Ripper murder sites and is an expert on Saucy Jack. The atmosphere of the show is really superb and they somehow manage to combine the feel of modern day London with Victorian Whitechapel. The show's creators do a nice job keeping things fairly accurate concerning the facts of the Ripper case and the replication of murders in the modern day. If the series runs out of a tiny bit of steam by the concluding episode, it still manages to present a cracking good suspense thriller. DI Chandler is played by Rupert Penry-Jones whose mother just happens to be actress Angela Thorne (Marjory from "TO THE MANOR BORN"). Miles is played by the wonderful character actor Philip Davis who was terrific in the recent SHERLOCK series from the BBC as the chilling cabbie from the pilot episode "A STUDY IN PINK". Steve Pemberton plays Ripperologist Buchan and, of course, is best known as one of the "LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN". A terrific first series and a great way to bring Jack the Ripper into this Halloween Countdown viewing!

2011-10-03T01:38:00.006-04:00

THOSE WUVVABLE WEREWOLVES! Here is a werewolf account from the Brothers Grimm called "Der Wärwölfe ziehen aus" or "The Werewolves Advance" taken from "Deutsche Sagen Vol. 1" in 1816. By the way, Livland or Livonia is a region on the Baltic Sea which comprises present-day Estonia and parts of Latvia:

"In Livland there is the following legend: When Christmas Day is over a boy who limps with one leg goes around calling together all those who have yielded to the Evil One -- and there is a large number of them -- bidding them to follow him. If any one of these resists or hesitates, then a large tall man is also there who hits at them with a whip braided from iron wire and little chains, driving them along with force. It is said that he whips at the people so cruelly that a long time later marks and scars can still be seen on their bodies, and they are in great pain.

As soon as they begin to follow him, it appears as though they lose their former shape and turn into wolves. Several thousand of them come together. Their leader, with the iron whip in his hand, leads the way. When they have been led into a field, they cruelly attack the cattle, ripping every animal to pieces that they can catch, thus doing great damage. However, they are not able to harm humans.

When they come to a body of water, their leader strikes at it with his switch or whip, and it divides, allowing them to cross over with dry feet. After twelve days have passed, they abandon their werewolf form and become humans once again."

By the way, here's today's Halloweenie Comic Book Cover of the Day #3: Vampire Tales #3 (1974)

2011-10-02T12:03:00.008-04:00

DOCTOR SHOCK'S MAD THEATER HALLOWEEN MOVIE #1! In the last two Halloween Countdowns, I ventured to watch a horror movie a day and post about it. This year I doubt I'll be able to watch a film every single day (I've already missed October 1st) but I hope to quite frequently fire up the old DVD player and post a movie as often as I can. It's also more difficult since I've already done a whole passel of films the last two times I've done this. But hey, Halloween is supposed to be fun, yeah? Free and easy, chill dead breezy! So if I happen to feel like watching a movie I've already posted in years past. . .well, where's the harm in that? The best part about these movies is watching them again and again. That's certainly what we did on Dr. Shock's Mad Theater. And since the late, great Dr. Shock Joe Zawislak is the patron saint of our Halloween Countdown each year, I thought it appropriate to call these movie posts "Dr. Shock's Mad Theater" and "Dr. Shock's Horror Theater" from those long ago beloved memories of Saturday afternoons watching horror films instead of playing outside with all the healthy, well-adjusted and dull kids. So there we have it.

The first film on our Halloween Countdown Watch is the nightmarish 1932 film VAMPYR directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer. Here is a movie that looks about ten years older than its 1932 release date. That's deliberate because the film itself plays like a fever dream. I particularly love the swift camera movements (belying the reputation of the film as being static and glacially-moving) which give the viewer a very unsettling feeling. Watch as Allan Gray enters his hotel room in the first minutes of the film. See how the camera lurches around and past him as if some malevolent . . . something . . . is in the room with us. I also love how the candle flame looks transparent against the death painting on the wall as Allan holds the candle up to it. There's the fact that the film gives the impressions of being silent (with its periodic title cards) but in fact features a masterfully built sound track of odd sounds and voices. I love the strange gibbering which leads Allan to encounter the disfigured man coming down the stairs; this man in my mind is certainly a World War I veteran. It seems to me that "The Great War" hangs heavy over this film. It would be futile to try to list all of the magnificent touches in this film but one last mention I cannot deny myself: when Allan Gray first goes into the mill and stands next to a vertical pane of broken glass, the hole in the glass is exactly the same shape as Allan Gray's silhouette standing next to it in the doorway. Glorious! Oh, and then there's the shadow of the digger which subtly runs in reverse: the dirt jumps onto the shovel. Ah, but I said I was through cataloguing visual gems, didn't I? The film is loaded with spectacularly haunting shots and even some genuine scares. I'll never forget the first time I watched the film way back in the 1980s on a rather bad print. It was (appropriately) very late at night. It was summer and the windows were open letting in a slight cool breeze after the dissipation of the heat of the day. I was tired and found myself not dozing but entering that state between wide awake and slipping towards slumber. The dream-like quality of VAMPYR surely helped me get to that state. As Allan Gray settles in his bed to go to sleep fairly early in the film, the door to his room EVER SO SLOWLY creeps open. We see it from Gray's perspective therefore we can't see who's opening the door. In fact, at first we're not even sure the door IS opening; so slow is its progress. Then finally we're sure. Someone is coming into the room. When the old man finally appears from behind the door and proceeded to walk around the bed as the wide-eyed Allan Gray laid there watching this startling old man stare frightening at him, it scared the living crap outta me! Needless to say, I was suddenly wide awake again! This is the kind of movie which knows how to give the viewer the creeps. Subtly, unhurried. Kinda a nice way to begin October's Countdown to Halloween, I think.

2011-10-02T01:26:00.004-04:00

MARTIN SCORSESE'S FAVOURITE SCARY MOVIES FOR HALLOWEEN

THE HAUNTING
ISLE OF THE DEAD
THE UNINVITED
THE ENTITY
DEAD OF NIGHT
THE CHANGELING
THE SHINING
THE EXORCIST
NIGHT OF THE DEMON
THE INNOCENTS
PSYCHO

according to the daily beast HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK COVER OF THE DAY #2: TEEN TITANS #34 (1971)

2011-10-01T02:48:00.004-04:00

GUTEN TAG AND WELCOME TO THE START OF THE COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN! Every day (hopefully) I will post a lil Halloweenie somthin' somthin' here and on our TWO sister blogs. Go to our Audio blog BATHED IN THE LIGHT FROM ANDROMEDA every day in October to hear a Halloween selection of music and/or scary tales. And on our newest blog THE DARK FOREST each day will hopefully be devoted to a post on a particularly Halloweenie-type album. The links for both blogs are over there on the right hand column. Oh yeah, and don't forget that right here every day the "Comic Book Cover of the Day" on the right hand column will feature a spooky comic book cover so peruse over there each day too. Don't ferget, now! But today here in the ole main blog I thought I'd provide a little background on that most Halloweenie of items: the jack o'lantern!

Of course, the name "Jack O'Lantern" comes from the British Isles and basically means a "night watchman" (a man with a lantern). It apparently was also used as a name to describe that strange phenomenon variously described as "St. Elmo's Fire" or a "Will O' the Wisp": a fiery light which sometimes appears floating slightly above ground over graves or wetlands. We all remember the scene in Bram Stoker's novel "DRACULA" when Jonathan Harker's carriage driver (secretly Drac) stops at each appearance of this "St. Elmo's Fire" to mark the place because it was thought the light marks a buried treasure. But back to our gourdy friend -- the European practice of carving such gourds as turnips into scary faces with a candle inside brought to spooky life the first jack o'lanterns. In England, according to Thomas Darlington's 1887 "The Folk-Speech of South Cheshire": "It is a common device of mischievous lads for frightening belated wayfarers on the road". In the American colonies, pumpkins were much more plentiful so the big orange fella was promptly co-oped as our own colonial Jack. There is also word of a custom of children carrying jack o'lanterns on All-Saints Eve and All Souls Day as a depiction of those souls which are trapped in purgatory. Or worse! There is also the legend of Stingy Jack which is associated with the jack o'lantern and probably originated the name. A roguish Irishman named Stingy Jack somehow tricked the Devil into promised he would not go to Hell when he died. Unfortunately for Jack, at his death Heaven wouldn't let him in either! The Devil kept his promise to Jack by condemning him to wander the earth forever with only a hellish ember to light his way. Irish immigrants brought this legend to America and the carved pumpkin Jack O'Lantern was a Halloween fixture by the late 19th century. Heh heh heh. . . .spoooooooky!

And today's comic book cover is HOUSE OF MYSTERY #318 from 1981 featuring the fun-loving vampy dude Andrew Bennett!

2011-09-26T03:23:00.004-04:00

THE LAND OF CERPTS AND HALLOWEEN! In a very few days it will be the first of October and we all know what that means: it's time once again for the deliriously devilish Halloween countdown season. As usual, John Rozum and creepy company are coordinating things over at the official Countdown To Halloween website. Over on the right hand sidebar you will find the Halloween Countdown icon link which will take you to the site listing the over 100 blogs participating this year. I am going to attempt the obviously insane task of the triple threat: doing a Halloween Countdown on three of my blogs simultaneously!!! Here at the Land of Cerpts and Halloween I will attempt (and surely fail) to put up a post a day concerning Halloweenie tricks and treats. I will also post an appropriately spooky cover every day on the sidebar "Comic Cover of the Day" feature to the right. On my audio blog "BATHED IN THE LIGHT FROM ANDROMEDA", Dr. Janos Rukh and I will post a daily Halloweenie song or story for your trick or treat bags. And in our newest blog "THE DARK FOREST" devoted to an album a day I will post an appropriately Halloweenie album to discuss each day. Phew and Yikes!!! Is Jeffrey Combs still running that asylum on the House on Haunted Hill because I think I'll need to check in after this one! So until October 1st when all the fiendish fun begins. . .Let There Be Fright!!!

2011-09-22T12:54:00.008-04:00

"THE HOUSE ON SKULL MOUNTAIN" WAS MADE IN 1974 -- THE SAME YEAR AS "SUGAR HILL" -- BUT IT'S NOWHERE NEAR AS FUN. Bryan Senn, author of "DRUMS OF TERROR: VOODOO IN THE CINEMA" describes the film as "House on Dull Mountain" and probably predictable but sadly appropriate. The movie's not THAT bad but it's not really good either; and there's precious little entertainment to go around. Director Ron Honthaner filmed "HOUSE" in and around Atlanta, Georgia and the movie is what my late friend Peg used to call a "lunch-time production": meaning that some people had a lunch hour free so they made a movie. Having said that, though, this film is MUCH less painful to watch than, say, MANOS HAND OF FATE! It may not be very good but it doesn't deserve to be savaged either.

The plot goes like this: an old voodoo priestess named Pauline Christophe (Mary J. Todd McKenzie) is dying and calls her scattered family members to her old mansion on Skull Mountain; none of the relatives have met her OR each other before. The family members arrive just in time for the funeral: our heroine Lorena (Janee Michelle), matronly Harriet (Xernona Clayton), ne'er do well Philippe (Mike Evans) and a surprise white relative born on the wrong side of the covers anthropologist Andrew Cunningham (Victor French). Faithful family retainer Thomas (Jean Durand) and housekeeper Louette (Ella Woods) greet the relatives at the old mansion with the family lawyer (Senator Leroy Johnson). A statement from Pauline is read informing all that there is a family "legacy of power" deriving from family ancestor Henry Christophe (revolutionary founder and first king of Haiti) who was given a string of beads by the voodoo loa Damballah as a foundation of his power. Whew! That's a lot of plot exposition. We soon discover that Thomas is performing voodoo rituals in the basement which result in several family members meeting their demise. After a great deal of sitting around and talking (as well as a ridiculous trip to town browsing in a player piano store {!}) Louette gets knifed, Lorena comes under the voodoo control of Thomas and Andrew comes to the rescue.

Except for a few of the main leads, most of the cast is made up of amateurs. Janee Michelle is perhaps best known around these parts for appearing in the similarly voodoo-themed SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM along with William Marshall and Pam Grier. Mike Evans, of course, is famous for playing Lionel Jefferson in ALL IN THE FAMILY and THE JEFFERSONS; here he plays the jive-talking Philippe in broad stereotypical strokes. And the incongruous presence of Victor French as Andrew Cunningham "the white sheep of the family" (as described by Bryan Senn) is simply bewildering. French, of course, is known for his roles in CARTER COUNTRY and HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN with Michael Landon. It's distressing that even in 1974 the producers thought they needed to have the hero played by a white guy in order to save the day; even if Whitey is only half-Whitey in the script. Most of the film is taken up with talking head scenes which in and of itself isn't a crime; the fact that the talk scenes are poorly acted and boring as hell IS a crime. The mansion set itself is so ridiculously overlit that there is no sense of creepiness or menace; in fact when the electricity goes out you can't really tell since the lighting doesn't really change at all. They just light candles. It is a really nice-looking set, though. The "scare" scenes, both of them, aren't the least bit scary and are rather ineptly handled by the director. The big voodoo ceremony set piece is boring and way too drawn out -- and in the end doesn't really amount to anything. And the inevitable return of Pauline Christophe as a zombie is tepid as well; it's not as bad as Bryan Senn says -- he describes it as "grandma having a bad hair day" but it's not much better either. It's all rather a huge waste of time as horror movies go. The wordy script lets the film down terribly and it really needs a much better director to inject some life -- or even remote interest -- in the goings-on. All in all a great big missed opportunity. If the movie was even HALF as eventful as the movie poster. . .

2011-09-19T04:22:00.005-04:00

"OH, COME ON....!" That was my initial response upon finishing the 2010 Oscar-winning BLACK SWAN. A little while back, Weaverman posted a cogent review of the film here on his FLEAPIT OF THE MIND blog. Now, I was totally prepared to call him an old curmudgeon when he started off his review with "this is what passes for art in Hollywood these days". Surely, you're being a little hard on the old tinsel town, just possibly. But now, after having finally seen the film, and at the risk of sounding like a "yes man", I can only say that Weaverman has hit the nail on the tutu. While I too will admit to the fact that the film was entertaining and held my interest throughout, I will also claim that this film is a comedy. It's not meant to be taken seriously, right? I mean, surely not. The first half of the film is OK, I guess, but the second half is just silly. And again, I have the sneaking suspicion that Mr. Aronofsky means for us to take all this seriously. But truly, it's one hell of a laugh!

As for Ms. Portman's performance, I also agree with Weaverman that it's good -- never bad -- in fact, it's the most "acting" I've ever seen her do. Granted, the things she's called for to do require all the subtlety of a mack truck running over a . . . well, a swan, I suppose. Did she deserve the Best Actress Oscar? Well, I still haven't seen all the performances but I bet there's a better performance out there. I also agree that there is MUCH too much of the "homage" element to the film; it lifts bits of business from THE RED SHOES (a TRULY great film), AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, THE SHINING and all the other films Weaverman's mentioned. However, he hasn't even mentioned them all; including the heavy influence of Brian DePalma's CARRIE (no stranger to "homage" himself) in the Barbara Hershey "stage mother" set piece. Methinks the "assemblers" of this movie (I hesitate to call them "creators") also have a passing familiarity with Edward Gorey's "THE GILDED BAT". Be that as it may, the best performance in the film I found to be Winona Ryder who was the most interesting to watch in her all too few scenes; maybe the camera's should've followed Winona around for the actual movie instead of that nitwit Nina; at least we would've gotten some interesting shoplifting scenes.

When all is said and done, I would also reiterate that the movie is probably worth watching. For a laugh. Because it's definitely a trashy hunk of fromage and good silly (if pretentious) fun. But art? Or Oscar-worthy? I don't think so. It's good for the comic factor but certainly not as a representative of great cinematic art. Much like the ridiculously over-praised THE KING'S SPEECH (which I always refer to as "THE EMPEROR'S NEW SPEECH" now because there's really nothing to it), this film is a case of "THE EMPEROR'S NEW TUTU".

2011-09-13T10:32:00.010-04:00

PAISAN (1946) is the second film in Roberto Rossellini's "War Trilogy" beginning with OPEN CITY and ending with GERMANY YEAR ZERO -- and it's my favourite of the trio. The start of "neo-realism" in Italian cinema is generally attributed to OPEN CITY (1945) but, as Peter Bondanella points out in his "A HISTORY OF ITALIAN CINEMA", that film actually uses professional actors and studio sets for the most crucial interiors of the film; neo-realism is usually seen as using mostly non-professionals for acting roles and real locations not in a studio. PAISAN, however, is the first of Rossellini's films to really go for the neo-realism thing: although it does feature some actors and more studio sets than most critics even realise. "PAISAN", or indeed the actual Italian film title "PAISA" is a familiar form of the Italian word "paesano" meaning literally someone from your town, a neighbour, a countryman or even friend. During the war in Italy, Italians and Americans would refer to each other with the friendly term "paisan" as a form of address to foster good will. As the actual definition shows, the word "paisa" implies a connection between two people and that is precisely what Rossellini is trying to examine in this film. While the overt plot of the film concerns the Allied invasion and liberation of Italy starting in Sicily and working its way up the Italian peninsula to the north, the real meat of the movie is Rossellini's examination of the meeting of two different worlds -- the Italians and the Americans -- and how they relate to one another or, indeed, if they in fact have any connection with each other to make them actual "paisa". The Italians and the Americans after all were fighting on opposing sides throughout most of World War II and now the "new world" was being touted as liberators of the "old world". Was there in fact a common connection between these two peoples?

The film consists of six separate but connected stories following the progress of the Allied invasion of Italy starting on the island of Sicily, continuing to the occupation of Naples, then to six months after the liberation of Rome (but with a flashback to the beginning of the Roman campaign), the conflict between Fascists and Partisans for control of Florence, a visit of three American military chaplains to a monastery in Porto Tolle in the Appennine mountains and finally to the Po Valley and the capture of Italian partisans and their American advisors by retreating Germans in the north. In the first Sicilian sequence, the Americans and the Italians are very cautious of each other; neither side really trusts the other. An American platoon is seeking to cross a minefield and requests a guide from some Sicilian locals. No one is interested until a young girl named Carmela (Carmela Sazio) agrees to help them. Above the field is a stone fortress where the G.I.s set up temporarily. The platoon shortly goes off to check out something in the distance leaving Joe from New Jersey (Robert Van Loon) to stand guard alone with Carmela. Neither of the two speak each other's language and a frustrating non-conversation takes place. However, the two manage to strike up some form of connection without understanding the other's language. Joe lights his Zippo to show Carmela a photo of his sister but a German sniper sees the light and shoots Joe -- fatally wounding him. Carmela tries to hide the dying Joe as the German patrol methodically approaches the stone tower. What happens next I won't spoil.

The second sequence displays the terrible destruction in Naples with Rossellini's camera pouring over the rubble which was still there at the time of filming. An off-duty African-American MP named Joe (Dots Johnson) gets drunk and is surrounded by a group of young Italian boys who spot an easy mark. One of the boys named Pasquale (Alphonsino Pasca) "buys" the G.I. from the other boys and follows him around; waiting for Joe to pass out so he can steal whatever he can from him. Sitting on top of a pile of rubble, Joe fantasises about going back to America a war hero but then realizes that his colour makes his life in America not much better than these poor Neopolitans. Joe eventually does pass out and Pasquale steals his boots. Three days later, now-sober Joe is driving in his jeep when he sees Pasquale stealing from the back of a supply truck. He grabs the boy and demands he return his shoes. Insisting that Pasquale take him to his parents, the boy leads Joe to a cave where displaced and homeless Neopolitans are scratching a bare existence. Pasquale's parents were both killed and Joe, seeing how much worse the Italians have it than anything he's experienced back in the States, forgets all about his boots.

The third sequence takes place six months after the liberation of Rome. A drunk American soldier Fred (Gar Moore) is picked up by a prostitute (Maria Michi) who takes him back to her room. However, the G.I. bemoans the fact that "Rome is full of girls like you" and recalls six months earlier when things were different and he had met a beautiful, virtuous Italian girl named Francesca. Rossellini then provides us with a very un-neo-realist flashback and we see the tender meeting between Fred and Francesca. It is at this point we realise that Francesca is the very same prostitute the drunken Fred is talking to; he doesn't recognise her in his boozy haze. As we experience the brief but sweet courtship and promise to return, Rossellini dissolves back to the bedroom six months later. Francesca slips out on the sleeping Fred and gives her real address back home to the whorehouse Madame who promises to give it to Fred when he wakes up. Francesca then goes home to await Fred's return and the happy reunion she feels sure is to come. Again I won't spoil it but the ending is not what you'd expect.

The fourth episode takes place in a hospital in Florence. Harriet (Harriet White) is a nurse who spent some time in Florence before the war. She is fluent in Italian and is in love with a Florentine painter named Guido Lombardi. She discovers Guido has become a Partisan leader known as Lupo (i.e. "The Wolf") and the rumour is he's been injured or killed. Along with another partisan, Harriet makes the dangerous, maze-like journey through the city where fighting is still raging between the partisans and the fascists; desperately trying to find out what actually has happened to her lover.

The fifth sequence finds a trio of US military chaplains (one Catholic, one Protestant and one Hebrew) entering a 500 year old monastery in the Appennines. The brothers warmly welcome the chaplains and offer them lodging and food. After some time, the brothers become aware that all three chaplains are not in fact Catholic but follow the "heresies" of Luther and Judaism. The stunned monks ask the Catholic chaplain Captain Martin (William Tubbs) if he has ever tried to "save" the men by showing them they stray from the "one true faith". Martin says that he has not and the monks think that it has become their duty to convert the two chaplains to Catholicism. In the dining hall when food is placed in front of the three chaplains, the monks sit with nothing. They explain they will not eat; they will fast. Rossellini does not make it plain whether the monks are intolerant of the "evil false" religions of the two chaplains or whether their desire to convert them stems from their genuine love for them and a naive attempt to "save" them from the error of their ways. This is certainly the most enigmatic of the film's episodes.

The sixth and final segment takes place in the Po Valley among the reeds as Italian partisans team up with American military "advisors" to fight the remaining Germans still clinging to the north of Italy. Both sides are giving no quarter. Rossellini puts his camera right down on the same level as the fighters among the reeds alongside the river which gives a vivid approximation of what these men go through to the viewer. After several vicious battles, the partisans and Americans are captured. I again will not reveal what happens next for you really should watch the film yourself and see. The use of real locations (judiciously sprinkled with perfectly realised studio sets) puts you right there in the middle of an Italy just liberated mere moments ago. While Rossellini uses real actors (Dots Johnson, Maria Michi, Harriet White, William Tubbs) many of the cast are indeed non-professionals (Carmela, Joe from Jersey, Pasquale, the two non-Catholic chaplains and all the monks) and give just as affecting performances. Rossellini's subject matter of the meeting between two "alien cultures" which must try to find some commonality is shown with . . . well, realism; there is failure to understand each other, mistakes made and genuine bonding achieved. There is also tragedy. Nothing is given a pat answer. However there were enough examples of success between Italians and Americans that a sense of becoming "paisans" after the war seemed quite good for the future. PAISAN is an extraordinary movie which cannot be missed.

2011-09-09T10:18:00.022-04:00

YET STILL MORE MOVIE STARS CHOOSE THEIR FAVOURITE FILMS. Continuing a series, all movie lists except for Terry Gilliam's were derived from Rotten Tomaytoes' five favourite films features:

TERRY GILLIAM'S TOP 10 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Citizen Kane

2. Seven Samurai

3. The Seventh Seal

4. 8 1/2

5. 2001: A Space Odyssey

6. Sherlock Jr.

7. Pinocchio

8. Les Enfants du Paradis

9. One-Eyed Jacks

10. The Apartment

MARIO VAN PEEBLES' 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssssss Song (1971)

2. Easy Rider (1969)

3. Black Orpheus (1959)

4. Mutiny On the Bounty (1962)

5. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

JOHN MALKOVICH'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. The Battle of Algiers (1966)

2. Abraham's Valley (1993)

3. Night Train To Munich (1940)

4. The Conformist (1970)

5. Elite Squad (2008)

STANLEY TUCCI'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. La Dolce Vita (1960)

2. The Sacrifice (1986)

3. Sunday In the Country (1984)

4. The Godfather (1972) & The Godfather Part II (1974)

5. High Noon (1952)

JOHN CARPENTER'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Only Angels Have Wings (1939)

2. Rio Bravo (1959)

3. Citizen Kane (1941)

4. Vertigo (1958)

5. Blow-Up (1966)

ELTON JOHN'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. The Godfather Part II (1974)

2. All About Eve (1950)

3. The Exorcist (1973)

4. Blazing Saddles (1974)

5. The Lives of Others (2006)

AMY ADAMS' 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Gone With the Wind (1939)

2. The Wizard of Oz (1939)

3. Vertigo (1958)

4. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

5. Paulie (1998)

JOE DANTE'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. To Be Or Not To Be (1942)

2. Once Upon A Time in the West (1969)

3. Touch of Evil (1958)

4. Night of the Hunter (1955)

5. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

TIM BURTON'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)

2. The Wicker Man (1974)

3. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

4. War of the Gargantuas (1970)

5. The Omega Man (1971)

PETER JACKSON'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. King Kong (1933)

2. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

3. The General (1927)

4. Goodfellas (1990)

5. Jaws (1975)

WERNER HERZOG'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Freaks (1932)

2. Intolerance (1916)

3. Where Is the Friend's Home (1989)

4. Rashomon (1950)

5. Nosferatu (1922)

TONY JAA'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Ong Bak (2005)

2. The Dark Knight (2008)

3. Return of the Dragon (1973)

4. Drunken Master (1979)

5. Forrest Gump (1994)

SIENNA MILLER'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. All About Eve (1950)

2. Once Upon A Time in the West (1969)

3. My Life as a Dog (1987)

4. October (Ten Days That Shook the World) (1927)

5. Some Like It Hot (1959)

ROB ZOMBIE'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

2. Young Frankenstein (1974)

3. A Clockwork Orange (1971)

4. Taxi Driver (1976)

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

STAN LEE'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. My Fair Lady (1964)

2. Captain Blood (1935)

3. King Kong (1933)

4. The Producers (1968)

5. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

ANTONIO BANDERAS' 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. 8 1/2 (1963)

2. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

3. The Godfather (1972)

4. The Exterminating Angel (1962)

5. Touch of Evil (1958)

WES CRAVEN'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. The Virgin Spring

2. To Kill A Mockingbird

3. Red River

4. Night of the Living Dead

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

THE PULLMAN'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Lawrence of Arabia

2. The Searchers

3. Zabriskie Point

4. America, America

5. Scenes From A Marriage

GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

2. Blade Runner (1982)

3. Los Olvidados (1950)

4. The Road Warrior (1982)

5. The Gold Rush (1925)

KEVIN SMITH'S 5 FAVOURITE FILMS

1. Jaws (1975)

2. JFK (1991)

3. A Man For All Seasons (1966)

4. Do the Right Thing (1989)

5. The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

2011-09-07T09:39:00.006-04:00

WELCOME TO BLACK BELT THEATRE AND TODAY'S MOVIE IS "BORN INVINCIBLE". Original title: "Tai Ji Yuan Gong (1978). BORN INVINCIBLE is a slam-bang kung fu flick which stars Carter Wong (known to most Westerners for his turn as "Thunder" in 1986's BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA) as the nastiest Tai Chi practitioner to ever come down the pike. He is aided and abetted by the great Lo Lieh (star of the film which first broke kung fu movies in the West: FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH aka KING BOXER!) as his co-villain in this one. A narrator explains at the start of the film that Tai Chi is one of the deadliest forms of kung fu. A practitioner has to learn it young; they start usually at three years of age. When fully adept, the Tai Chi master's body is literally impregnable to any weapon or attack; except in one secret vulnerable spot which the master can move around at will. This "iron armour" technique is also seen in several other kung fu films including "INVINCIBLE ARMOUR" (1977). Carter Wong plays the nefarious Tai Chi master Chief Chin of the Chin Yin Chi clan.

Events in the movie start when students of the Lei Ping kung fu school witness two members of the Chin Yin Chi clan beating up an old man and his daughter. Head student Ming Tu (Jack Long) confronts the hoodlums and tells them to stop. He and some of the other students fight with the ruffians and one of the Lei Ping trainees is killed. The Chin Yin Chi fighters are chased away and the old man and his daughter are given shelter inside the Lei Ping school. Two Chin Yin Chi leaders Chief Chin (Carter Wong) and Chin Pa (Lo Lieh) show up at the school and demand they hand over the old man with whom they have a past grudge. The master of the Lei Ping school refuses, orders his students to go back inside and Ming Tu to carry on as his successor if he should not survive the coming fight. The master engages in a battle with the two Chin Yin Chi leaders and is killed. The old man, who vowed 20 years before to never pick up a sword again, exits the school and fights the villains. Even though the old man is formidable, he too is viciously killed in the fight. Ming Tu, now leader of the school, vows to take revenge against the two villains and the film concerns their repeated attempts to defeat Chin Pa and Chief Chin.

Carter Wong as Chief Chin is seen in the traditional white-haired aspect of the Tai Chi master and demonstrates some of the best fighting ability in this film. Fight choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping is a master at these movies; witness his more recent work in DRUNKEN MASTER, IRON MONKEY, CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON or KILL BILL. The fight scenes are very impressively realized. Lo Lieh is of course no slouch either and both men are very impressive villains. Chief Chin, of course, is the most formidable of all and is quite scary as an opponent. Not only does he seem impervious to every attack but he also displays creepy characteristics such as his mocking laughter in the face of every dying opponent as well as his mystical ability to carve an "I Ching-type" symbol in the dirt while simultaneously making mincemeat out of his foe. Director Joseph Kuo has made several impressive kung fu films including the classic "MYSTERY OF CHESS BOXING" aka "NINJA CHECKMATE" and here he keeps the pace moving at lighting speed with practically no lull periods commonly afflicting lesser films. BORN INVINCIBLE is a little hard to come by but can be found for a reasonable amount in a dubbed/pan & scan version that's quite affordable. All you've gotta do is do a little questing . . . and BORN INVINCIBLE is certainly worth the time.