YOU MAY BE FROM BROWNS MILLS IF. . .You show up to your engagement photo in a shirt that says THIS!
YOU MAY BE FROM BROWNS MILLS IF. . .This is your wedding photo.
YOU MAY BE FROM BROWNS MILLS IF. . .Your wedding reception looks like THIS.
YOU MAY BE FROM BROWNS MILLS IF. . .Your wedding cake looks like THIS.
YOU MAY BE FROM BROWNS MILLS IF. . .Your wife is quoted in the newspaper as having said THIS.
And now, to be fair, we now have:
THE PEMBERTON HARLEY:
A GAME OF PEMBERTON HORSESHOES:
A PEMBERTON PALM PILOT:
A PEMBERTON PET CARRIER:
Geez, all this controversy and I don't live in either one of them there towns. And all this time I thought that it was MAPLE SHADE that was the only surviving alien colony on earth!!!
Good evening your honour, I represent the good people of Browns Mills and I have been hired by them for their defence. First I must point out the first problem is with picture #1, the text of the article clearly reads that the gentleman in the photo is from Baton Rouge. The second photo is obviously fom Chatsworth. I think I might have known the bride. Or at least tucked a few bucks into her g-string. The third photo needs no defence, that just looks like a good time. The third photo I find no fault with actually. The fourth one, well that's just true. Isn't it? That is definitely a Pemberton Harley, no quextion about it. The game of horseshoes ... something seems familiar about that one ... oh wait ... Sonny? The picture of the Palm Pilot is a "Before" picture. The next morning the "After" picture was taken of the same redneck wondering why the saying "Teg Reeb" is on the shaft of his penis. The pet carrier is Frodo's distant cousin twice removed ... from the case of beer. I hope I have done Brown's Mills as well as Maple Shade some justice. Can I also point out the fact that I only rent. Does that count for anything?
ReplyDeleteOk, so I admit that I was a resident of Browns Mills for way too many years. And both of my kids were raised there. And my daughter teaches special ed in Pemberton. Yea that's redundant.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, there are some really good qualities about Pemberton/Browns Mills...... uh I'll have to get back to you on that.
Oh and did I mention that I now live in Maple Shade? Just waitin for the mother ship.
ReplyDeleteHey, whats re dun dant mean? Is that like when you go do something you already did. For example: Since Jasper already done pulled a stump from his back yard I figgered I'd get him to help pull mine an it would be easy cause he could re dun dant.
ReplyDeleteYou know in all of this fun poking, I can only think of the people that suffer. Like Peg since you ain't gettin no Lost DVD's from me now!
ReplyDeleteAnd now, your points as your raised them (gee, that sounds dirty). . .
ReplyDelete1) Baton Rouge. Brown Mills. I fail to see any difference.
2) There is NO justice for Maple Shade. None whatsoever. The Browns Mills question however is still open for debate.
3) Only renting does go some little way towards redeeming you. Some LITTLE way. That's all.
4) Faere -- WAS a resident is the all-important word there. I myself WAS a resident of Maple Shade from age 0-11. WAS. I escaped with only minor anal probing. Once one has escaped from Maple Shade (or Browns Mills for that matter), our sins can be washed clean.
5) Faere -- you live in Maple Shade, fine, but I happen to know that you also are just renting. See point #3 above.
6) Cheekies -- like there was even the SLIGHTEST chance I was going to get Lost DVDs since I see you about twice a year and there ain't nary a Super Bowl pending for QUITE some time yet. And, as long as I'm not going to suffer (having seen ALL of this season of Lost), your threat falls on empty head.
Ears.
After all, as Murphy Brown once quoth: "If it's not happening to ME, it doesn't matter". And since I don't live in Pemberton, Browns Mills OR Maple Shade. . .
I'm GOLDEN!!!
Hmmmm, actually you may be seeing me soon, I got a vacation coming up. And no I don't need you to dog or cat sit. I'm not going anywhere, it's just 9 days of not working. So chances are we should get a frolick or two in there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHA! I've heard THAT one before!
ReplyDeleteMaple Shade?!?! The town where I was raised (from 1972 to 1984), and then returned to for a couple of years (92 to 94) until I could no longer take the ghosts of the greasers that haunt that odd burg!
ReplyDeleteI also spent some time in Brown Town. Ugh. What can I say? We must have been on heavy medications when we decided to move there.
Thank goodness I found Utopia, where everyone's got ten fingers and ten toes, and Phantom 58 Chevy's don't cruise the streets.
Pax, those greasers ghosts are still around although a few of them wrapped themselves around a telephone pole a few years ago so that cut down on it a bit.
ReplyDeletePax, you dirty dog! You're just FULL of tawdry little secrets like that. We were co-sufferers since I resided in the Shade from 1965-1977.
ReplyDelete