IS "TORTURE GARDEN" THE WORST OF THE AMICUS OMNIBUS MOVIES??? There are a great many who think so. And I think there's much to be said for such an opinion. However, in the words of Yoda: "No, there is another."

TORTURE GARDEN was the follow-up after Amicus' success with DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (a movie very close to my heart) and follows much the same formula. Whereas the early film features 5 men getting on a train only to meet tarot reader Dr. Schreck (Peter Cushing), TORTURE GARDEN features a group of people entering a carnival sideshow run by Dr. Diabolo (a wonderfully fruity performance by Burgess Meredith). Inside Diabolo has a statue of Atropos (Clytie Jessop -- the ghostly Miss Jessel from THE INNOCENTS): one of the ancient Greek Fates who cut the strand of your life. A nice touch features Jessop appearing in the background of every one of the individual stories. As each punter pays to look into Atropos' mystical shears, s/he sees a possible terrible future. All the stories are based upon stories by Robert Bloch. This is where the trouble lies with the film because they were seemingly taken from Bloch's weakest stories (with the exception of the final story I'll get to in a minute). This is all doubly surprising since Robert Bloch himself is creditted with writing the screenplay.

The first tale features a man compelled to commit murder by a demonically possessed cat. It's nicely acted and nicely shot but there's something lacking somehow. There just doesn't seem to be much sense of dread or atmosphere of horror. We just want to throw the cat a squeaky mouse and be done with it. The second story is even weaker with no real horror elements at all; it involves a starlet who discovers why some movie stars never seem to get older. Again, an intriguing concept nicely acted but also anticlimactic and somehow lifeless. The downward slide continues with the absolutely ridiculous story of a haunted piano that terrorizes a young woman. An effort is made to imbue the piano with the spirit of the Greek muse Euterpe but having a piano slide around the floor "chasing" a screaming woman is, to put it mildly, incongruous!

HERE THERE BE SPOILERS; skip this paragraph if you don't know what happens. Just when you thought all hope was lost we have the final segment; based on a truly superb short story called "The Man Who Collected Poe". Saturnine Jack Palance plays obsessive Poe collector Robert Wyatt who discovers another collector named Lancelot Canning (Peter Cushing) has a better collection than he. Palance offers to buy a rare Poe first edition but naturally Cushing ain't sellin'. Palance wangles an invite from Cushing to see his entire collection back in the States. Palance shows up at Cushing's door (quite soon after). Sure, Cushing has rare items -- even down to actual clothing worn by Poe -- but it's only after Cushing gets quite drunk that he takes Palance downstairs where the REAL collection starts. Firstly, we find manuscripts for unpublished stories written in Poe's own handwriting. Strangely, the writing paper has a watermark from 1966! Cushing reveals that his grandfather was a graverobber who dug up the dust of Poe himself and kept him in an ornate box. Palance opens the box and finds it empty. Cushing then reveals that his grandfather was also an occultist who used infernal methods to raise Poe from the dead ashes. Palance starts to get squirrely as only Palance can and Cushing starts to get crabby and insists they leave. Palance, after a struggle, obtains a key to a locked door behind which is Edgar Allan Poe himself. Alive and kept locked away so that he can continue to write new stories. This final segment of the film is truly entertaining and a real showstopper -- which makes watching all the previous lackluster stories worthwhile just to reach this final little gem.

The strangely limp quality of TORTURE GARDEN is remarkable considering the talent involved: Robert Bloch's script, Freddie Francis' direction, quite beautiful photography by Norman Warwick and a superb cast including Cushing, Palance, Meredith, Michael Ripper, Niall MacGinnis, Robert Hutton, Beverly Adams and Michael Bryant. The problem I keep going back to is the relatively poor quality of the Robert Bloch stories. Freddie Francis, renowned as a cinematographer, isn't enough of a director to raise a great movie from a lackluster script. Witness the full length Robert Bloch based Freddie Francis directed "THE SKULL". The film is only saved, as I said, by the truly worthwhile final "Poe" segment which stands as one of the most memorably of all the Amicus portmanteaux.

Which leads us back to the original question. And if in fact TORTURE GARDEN isn't the worst of the Amicus omnibus horror movies, what is??? In my humble bumble, there is one that is worse. Having said that, they are ALL quite watchable. But of the 8 Amicus portmanteau/omnibus horror movies (am I forgetting any?!?), here is how I rank them:

1. FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (1973)

2. DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (1965)

3. TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972)

4. THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971)

5. VAULT OF HORROR (1973)

6. ASYLUM (1972)

7. TORTURE GARDEN (1967)

8. THE MONSTER CLUB (1980)