IN A DEPARTURE FROM THIS BLOG, I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT A TRUE STORY. (Truuuuuuuue, Stooooreeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh!). A job applicant comes in for an interview as a houseman (it's for a hotel, dammit). Things go fine until we come to the question: "Have you ever been convicted of a felony crime". "Well, yes I have," says the applicant whom we will call Herman because that's not his name. "Oh, well thank you for being so honest." Herman says he'll write down on a piece of paper the name of his conviction and explains that he was arrested for being drunk while riding a bicycle. As Herman hands the paper over, this is the crime which he wrote down: "Mister Meaners".

Seriously, you just can't make this up!