STOP RUINING HALLOWEEN!!! Because, apparently, lemmings (er . . . I mean, people) let the time of year dictate what they can and can't consume, Pumpkin Spice Madness is upon us! Since by law we are only allowed to consume anything pumpkin spice-flavoured in the months of September thru November. we have been inundated with pumpkin spice Cheerios, pumpkin spice coffee creamer, pumpkin spice corn flakes . . . . . and now, the ultimate affront to our senses: PUMPKIN SPICE PIZZA!!!!!!!
That's right, children. Pizza topped with pumpkin pie filling and mozzarella is a thing, now! Stop the insanity!!!! Now, I like the flavour pumpkin spice, don't get me wrong. But I like pumpkin spice just as much in May as I do in October . . . . but it's apparently against the law to consume pumpkin spice flavoured ANYTHING in May. And since we all have very little ability to think for ourselves anymore, we gobble up pumpkin spice everything in the Fall but would never dream of having it in the spring. Why? Don't ask me . . . I don't speak lemming. I can only wait a month for pumpkin spice EVERYTHING to disappear as suddenly as it came after Labor Day . . . and gear up for everything to be peppermint-flavoured in December. Oh, the humanity . . . .
I got some pumpkin spice condoms
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