R.L. STINE'S THE HAUNTING HOUR: DON'T THINK ABOUT IT {2007}

The premise is something we've seen in a million made-for-teens spookfests:  a teen has moved to a new neighborhood and doesn't fit in at her new school because she's "quirky".  But this is an R.L. Stine thang, so this is kinda expected.  Emily Osment (yeah . . . HIS sister) plays the 13 year old quirky teen named Cassie who seems to have modeled her look on Winona Ryder in BEETLEJUICE. 

Cassie has the black eye gunk and the stripey sleeves and black clothes and loves Edgar Allan Poe and horror movies.  She has a younger brother Max who is scared of his own shadow and a couple distracted parentals.  The first half of the movie is pretty much taken up with the weird girl getting picked on by the "popular" girls.  Cassie has a nice "CARRIE" moment when she fills the pumpkin pinata the stuck-up Pumpkin Queen of the Halloween dance (Brittany Curran of EXETER) has to bust open with giant cockroaches.  Probably the line of the movie is the next day when everyone is calling Miss Popular the "Cockroach Queen" and some girl quips "Aw, don't hurt her feelers!". 

On the way to the library, Cassie spots a long, dark alley (sorry, not Diagon) leading to a door of some kind of spooky curio shop run by a creepy guy played by Tobin Bell (SAW).  Bell is marvelous in this scene where he sells Cassie a creepy book entitled "The Evil Thing" which comes with a warning inside:  "Don't read this book aloud"!  So whaddaya think happens?  That's right, Cassie reads the book to her scaredy-cat brother in an attempt to scare him and a Pumpkinhead/Thing-like Evil Thing is set loose!

If you can stomach the god-awful 2007 teen pop songs peppered throughout the first 40 minutes of the film, then you'll get to the real Halloweeny part of the movie.  The Evil Thing (carrying it's slimy eggs on its back) cocoons Cassie's brother, Ms. Popular and a Papa John's delivery guy to provide a nice snack for her hatchlings.  When Cassie confronts The Stranger, Tobin Bell delivers a  sparkling line:  "Ah well, buyers remorse."  After the 40 minute mark, the film takes on a nice Halloweeny vibe with some quite nice creature effects (the hatchlings are a cross between the critters in SLITHER and a Cybermat).  This is, after all, a spooky movie meant for 14 year olds so one cannot judge this on the same level as a grown-up feature.  This being the case, the second half of the film is definitely worthwhile in a non-spectacular kind-of way and would make a nice little movie-apperitif on a Halloween afternoon before the real horror movie marathon begins!