BLADES [1989]

 "OH NO!  NOT AGAIN!" 

This is one I went into totally blind without knowing anything other than I once saw it included in a three-fer pack of Troma movies along with BLOOD HOOK.  And since I knew nothing ahead of time, I'm going to say a lot here that's been said a million times already.  But give me a break!  It's my first time watching BLADES.  Immediately the film starts like it's a slasher version of CADDYSHACK; however very quickly you twig to the concept of the film as two young lovers go off into the tall grass for some smoochee-smooz.  Coming at them is a POV shot of something plowing through the tall grass to music that sounds deliberately like it's meant to evoke John Williams' JAWS theme.  And it is.  What we have here (and this is NO spoiler) is a remake of JAWS which substitutes a killer lawnmower for a great white shark!  Yes, you heard me (those of you who didn't already know this).  And despite having the Troma logo on the front of the movie, things are played completely stone-faced straight.  And THAT'S what makes it so great.  And funny.  I hesitate to use the word "witty" when referring to a killer lawnmower movie but it really is quite good!  I was shocked how good this is!  And there's not a single tongue in a single cheek; it's all played completely straight.  The structure of BLADES even follows most of the same plot structure as JAWS; even replicating many well-known scenes.  

Robert North and his patented confused expression

Leading man Robert North plays Roy Kent (Roy Scheider easter egg) as the new golf pro who becomes embroiled in the series of murders by lawnmower) and he is absolutely priceless.  I think he has the same confused expression in almost every scene!  Jeremy Whalen plays Deke Slade:  a groundskeeper who is falsely arrested for the killings because he has a lawnmower.  Um, kinda comes with the job, I think.  Deke is our Quint surrogate of the film.  When Roy and his fellow golf pro Kelly (Victoria Scott) go to check out Deke's lawnmower for evidence, the lawnmower is hanging up just like the tiger shark that's erroneously thought to be the killer shark in JAWS.  Roy and Kelly empty out the lawnmower bag (in the same way as the contents of the tiger shark's stomach) and items fall out including grass, leaves, golf balls and a Playboy magazine.  Nope, no body parts or blood in there.  We've got the wrong lawnmower, folks!  Roy also tries to convince the owner of the golf course to postpone the big pro golf tournament just as Roy Scheider tries to convince the mayor to close the beaches.  Nah, this golf tournament must go on; it's the event of the year AND it's gonna be televised!  Roy gets slapped and told off by the widow of a victim of the killer lawnmower (just like the mother in JAWS tells of Roy Scheider).  "I just wanted you to know!"  The JAWS structure works so well and the references to the Spielberg film are just wonderful.  I had SUCH a great time with this movie!  This is seriously one of the biggest happy surprises of any movie I saw this year!  Oh and don't miss the post-credits sequence; it's also hilarious! 

Oh yeah, about that quote up there?  When the killer lawnmower finally attacks the pro golf tournament, a guy watching the match on TV at a bar says:  "Oh no!  Not again!".  I mean, c'mon.  That's just the icing on the cake!  Priceless!