H.P. LOVECRAFT'S THE OLD ONES (2024)

 "STILL A TRACE OF THAT PRIMORDIAL OOZE COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS."  

 It's about time we got a little of that HPL up in dis blog for the Countdown to Halloween!  This newish Lovecraft film came out this year from director Chad Ferrin and it's an extremely low budget affair.  This means I cut it a LOT of slack.  Apparently Ferrin also gave us another HPL film 4 years ago called H.P. LOVECRAFT'S THE DEEP ONES which I totally missed but need to hunt down.  Now, Ferrin also directed a little film called EXORCISM AT 60,000 FEET which I absolutely loved but that one looks to have had a much bigger budget and some name stars including Lance Hendriksen, Adrienne Barbeau, Kevin J. O'Connor and Bill Moseley.  That one was a real enjoyable hoot and, as I say, I loved it.  This one here is an entirely different kettle of fish (pun intended, natch) as it's made with a budget that would probably buy you two Happy Meals at the Innsmouth Mickey D's.  The acting is -- shall we say -- pretty amateurish (although the wonderful Kelli Maroney is on hand for some name recognition amongst us horror fans.  The monsters are of the rubber suit and rubber mask variety but they are quite good, for that, and a heckuva lot of fun.  So, of course, we have to be a little more understanding when 'rating' a movie like this.

A father and son are out camping by a river when the pull from the water a corpse of an old guy.  He's got no pulse . . . but suddenly sits up.  He is an old sea captain named Russell Marsh (played by Robert Miano -- who was also in EXORCISM AT 60,000 FEET) who starts ranting and raving about "the old ones" who are coming.  Marsh (who says he's 155 years old and has had an 'old one' inside him for years) pleads with the two men to get him as far away from the water as possible and drop him off probably somewhere like the Sahara Desert.  The father goes off to call for an ambulance and promptly gets mauled by one of the 'fishy folk' emerging from the water.  Kelli Maroney appears in a puff of CGI smoke, looking all decayed and corpsey/spookified as Zadok who gives Marsh a raft of doo doo about something or other. 

A fishy monster appears and Marsh axes it in the mouth.  Zadok collapses and evaporates.  Marsh and the boy Gideon (Benjamin Philip in his only film role) take the dead father's Jeep and head into the town of Finley.  Marsh has gone from a feeble, frightened, quivering old man to a sarcastic, badass in a matter of moments here.  In the town of Finley, the pair meet a guy named . . . . Finley who "felt" Marsh's presence.  This is when Marsh says that line I put up there at the beginning of this post regarding all the icky ooze in his blood.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that all this time Marsh is carrying around the decapitated head of the monster he killed.  Marsh needs some answers from Finley but first he plunges what looks like a rib bone into Finley's round belly and collects the blood in a green glass fish jar. 

OK, that's the first time I've ever written a sentence like THAT.  It appears Finley is harboring an 'old one' inside him and Marsh has released the old one into the jar; freeing the Finley human.  Marsh pours the blood onto the severed monster head (which he has previously dumped in a trash bag) and the head comes back to life.  Marsh asks where Tillinghast is and the severed head/Mr. Finley/Old One says "Tillinghast resonator will not help you!".  Yeah!!!!!  That's the resonator that was in FROM BEYOND!!!!  Awesome sauce!  Yes, it's probably time to  let you know that this movie is not an adaptation of any particular Lovecraft story but instead gathers bits and pieces from a lot of HPL's work.  Said severed monster noggin advises Marsh that he'll instead need 'the crawling chaos'.  Nyarlathotep to you.  "Glorious!  Hail the Great Old One!" 

I mean, none of this makes much sense but it's a fun ride that's keeps moving along in an entertain fashion.  Besides the aforementioned 'rubber suit monsters', there is also a fair amount of really nice practical effects and they really look good.  This is a prime case of doing a lot with a little.  Keep in mind, also, there is intentional humour here so things don't get too over-earnest.  Rico E. Anderson (as Nyarlathotep) in particular plays his character with a wicked wit; at one point, calling off his monstrous ghasts with an exasperated "Kids!  Right?"  Elli Rahn as the wired-up, demented Tillingast is arch and twisted and Jon Budinoff as Nadine (in his waitress uniform and green eye shadow) are particular stand-outs.  And in his house, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.  And in this movie, a fun time awaits those with a high tolerance for low-low budget horror flicks and a love for Lovecraft.  I've seen a lot worse.