THE PENGUIN AWARDS THAT NEVER WERE: CONCLUSION! Happy Lepus everybody. At last, we are bringing the nominations for the Penguins Awards that never were to a crashing bore. . . .er I mean halt! Let's wind things up with the final two years of nominations: 1981 and 1980!

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1981

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SONG OF THE YEAR:

Scorpios - Adam & the Ants

Prince Charming - Adam & the Ants

The Weakness In Me - Joan Armatrading

Best of Friends - Pearl Bailey

My Girl (Gone, Gone, Gone) - Chilliwack

Rock the Casbah - The Clash

New Lace Sleeves - Elvis Costello & the Attractions

Planet Earth - Duran Duran

Van Lingle Mungo - Dave Frishberg

Still They Ride - Journey

Predictable - The Kinks

Ace of Spades - Motorhead

Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne

A Woman In Love (It's Not Me) - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

Tom Sawyer - Rush

Ghost Town - The Specials

One Step Ahead - Split Enz

Tempted - Squeeze

Genius of Love - Tom Tom Club

Gloria - U2

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ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

PRINCE CHARMING - Adam & the Ants

MOVING PICTURES - Rush

CORROBOREE (WAIATA) - Split Enz

AFTER EIGHT - Taco

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COVER SONG OF THE YEAR:

Goo Goo Muck - The Cramps

Working in a Coal Mine - Devo

Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Let's Hang On - Barry Manilow

Theme From Halloween - MX-80 Sound

Jealous Guy - Roxy Music

Puttin' On the Ritz - Taco

I Should Care - Taco

The Sea Named Solaris - Isao Tomita

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DUET OF THE YEAR:

Stop Draggin' My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks & Tom Petty

Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie

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1980

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SONG OF THE YEAR:

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

Back In Black - AC/DC

Antmusic - Adam & the Ants

I'm Gonna Follow You - Pat Benatar

Rapture - Blondie

I Don't Like Mondays - The Boomtown Rats

Breathing - Kate Bush

Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie

Love On the Rocks - Neil Diamond

Everytime You Go Away - Hall & Oates

Icehouse - Icehouse

(Just Like) Starting Over - John Lennon

Redemption Song - Bob Marley & the Wailers

Sit On My Face - Monty Python's Flying Circus

I Hope I Never - Split Enz

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ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

SUPER TROUPER - ABBA

BACK IN BLACK - AC/DC

THE TURN OF A FRIENDLY CARD - The Alan Parsons Project

CRIMES OF PASSION - Pat Benatar

NEVER FOR EVER - Kate Bush

THE JAZZ SINGER - Neil Diamond

MONTY PYTHON'S CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION ALBUM - Monty Python's Flying Circus

TRUE COLOURS - Split Enz

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After a decent and respectable amount of time, the actual winners of the Penguin Awards That Never Were (The Nineteeneighties Edition) will be announced right here right then.