HALLOWEEN IS OVER, AND THE GREAT PUMPKIN DIDN'T SHOW UP AGAIN

 

WHODUNIT? [1982] aka ISLAND OF BLOOD

 "BOIL ME!  BOIL ME!" 

I don't know how Vinegar Syndrome does it?  I mean, they find absolutely stunning, pristene prints of these almost unknown, crappy horror movies and then they dress it up is gorgeous slipcovers with beautiful new art.  So it really doesn't matter that WHODUNIT? aka ISLAND OF BLOOD is a convoluted, uninspired slasher film that doesn't even have internal logic -- it's STILL a wonderful release!!!  The blurb on the back of the VS blu ray calls it a reimagining of Agatha Christie's AND THEN THERE WERE NONE -- it's SO not.  There are a bunch of people on an island and they get picked off one by one.  That's the beginning and end of any similarity.  Otherwise every one of 100 slasher/body count films is also a "reimagining" of Agatha Christie too.  A group of rather unpleasant people go to island where they plan to make an optimistic, family feel-good movie.  They don't bring a film crew or anything like that with them.  I guess they'll arrive next week?  I guess they're there to maybe rehearse?  Nothing is really explained in this movie and you really have no idea what's going on other than somebody with a Sony walkman likes to play a really bad punkish song while they murder people one by one.  And frankly, I'm with the killer.  Because not only are these people rather unlikeable but they're incredible stupid and reinforce the stereotype that victims in slasher movies do stupid things no one in their right minds would do -- like knowing there's a serial killer on the loose and, while attempting to staple-gun some sticks together to make a getaway raft on the beach, to holler at the top of your lungs that the killer won't get YOU . . . . thereby letting the killer know exactly where you are.  But hey, at least ONE slasher stereotype is broken in this film; that is, unlike most slasher movies where the cast all look like supermodels, here we have extremely ordinary-looking people.  Unfortunaley, most of the movie's running time consists of uninteresting, unfunny dialogue scenes between people you couldn't care less about.  Fortunately, every once in a while there's a wacky death scene such as someone gets boiled alive in a swimming pool (because the thermostat is malfunctioning???  I mean, how is that even POSSIBLE to get a swimming pool to boiling point?!?!?!) or someone is nail-gunned to death (stapled to the wall with about a dozen nails fired into their forehead).  So, is the movie a total loss?  No, not really.  Can I recommend it?  No, not really.

THE BLACK CAT [1966]

GRITTY.  GRIMY.  SLEAZY.  SLIMY.   

The most low-down film version of Poe I've ever seen.  The leading man and leading lady never made another film and the director only made one other film called SEX AND THE ANIMALS so you know we're in the relative skid row of film making.  I'm not sure if Pluto the black cat ever made another movie either.  In fact, I'm not sure Pluto even made it out of THIS film; although all assurances are that the cat was never hurt during filming.  There are however several scenes in which the cat is treated fairly roughly.  This is why I have such conflicted feeling about this film since I hate it when Pluto is manhandled and tossed around but then love it for it's grimy, queasy fascination.  There something here which is some sort of creative spark which elevates it from the gutter is so happily wallows in.  

Lou and Diana are celebrating their first anniversary in the large mansion they've just inherited at the recent death of Lou's mother.  Lou gives Diana a bracelet for an anniversary present and she gives him a black cat that Lou names Pluto.  Lou is fond of pets as he has an entire room devoted to his many caged animals from capuchin monkey to racoon to toucan.  Oddly, Lou then bids his wife good night and goes to spend his anniversary with Pluto and the rest of the animals while Diana is left to cry herself to sleep.  Here we have the first intimations that Lou ain't quite right as he prefers to spend his anniversary night with his pets and not his wife.  With the help of inheritance money, Lou fancies himself a novelist but gets nowhere and starts to drink heavily.  His behaviour becomes even more erratic and he picks fights in bars and knocks his wife around; causing Diana and the maid to walk out.  Now quite out of it, Lou then gouges out the cat's right eye with a switchblade thinking it's a demon or the spirit of his hated father.  The next morning, Lou is sober and guilty over what he did to the cat.  Diana and the maid return but, still drinking Lou is convinced the cat is his father and strings Pluto up with electrical wire and electrocutes it.  This causes a short which burns down the mansion. 

After discovering the house and contents were not insured, a now broke Lou has a breakdown and is sent to a mental hospital where he is subjected to shock treatments.  Once released, the couple move to a house in the suburbs but Lou eventually relapses and keeps drinking.  One night on a bender, Lou finds a black cat that looks very much like Pluto and brings it home.  Lou eventually relapses into thinking the cat is a returned Pluto who is the spirit of his father and decides to kill it again.  When Diana asks Lou to help her get something from the basement, the cat follows them down and Lou goes after the cat with an axe.  Diana attempts to prevent him for harming the cat and Lou buries the axe in Diana's blonde head.  Lou walls up Diana's corpse behind a brick wall in the basement.  The maid reports Diana missing and the police show up to search Lou's house.  As in Poe's story, the cat is heard meowing from behind the brick wall and the police tear it down discovering Diana's corpse.  Lou runs out to his Jaguar and leads the police in a car chase.  While speeding down the road, a black cat appears in front of him and Lou swerves and dies in a fiery car crash.

Robert Frost is quite good as Lou; depicting his escalating madness without chewing the scenery.  Robyn Baker is good as well as Diana but has considerably less to do.  The best performance in the film is surely Ann McAdams (better known as Annabelle Weenick) as an aging whore Lou meets in a nightclub; her world-weariness and hurt at being constantly buffeted by a cruel world are palpable. Weenick has a long genre pedigree appearing in DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT, ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNKNOWN, DEADLY BLESSING, CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION, DON'T HANG UP, Larry Buchanan's IT'S ALIVE, CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE and THE TRIAL OF LEE HARVEY OSWALD.  The soundtrack of the film features jazzy music as well as rock & roll.  Scotty McKay and his band play such old rockers as BO DIDDLEY, BROWN-EYED HANDSOME MAN and SINNERMAN.  One beautiful bit of direction occurs right after Lou gouges out Pluto's eye; we cut to McCay and his band rocking the nightclub and each band member is wearing an eye patch over their left eye!  Brilliant! 

THE BLACK CAT was thought to be lost until the late head honcho of Something Weird Video Mike Vraney discovered a print back in 2001.  The film looks even better on the recent Hemisphere Pictures blu ray box set which is where I watched it.     

THE CHURCH [1989]

 MICHELE SOAVI ROCKS MY SOCKS!!! 

The director of probably my favourite horror film of the 1990's (or at least in my top three) CEMETERY MAN here directs an absolutely fantastic movie.  Originally meant to be DEMONS 3, Lamberto Bava bowed out and the project changed into what would become THE CHURCH with Dario Argento's protege Michele Soavi taking the directorial chair.  Argento also produced and co-wrote the film which opens in a medieval European village which the Church and their Teutonic Knights decimate in a terrible massacre because the town is suspected of being devil-worshippers.   Shots of the dead villagers being dumped into a massive pit are uncomfortably close to films of Nazi atrocities which is surely a deliberate touch. 

The church representative decides that a large church must be built on top of the mass grave so that it can contain the evil underneath.  Fast forward to the (1989) present day and the cathedral built over the massacre is having renovations done.  Researcher/restorer Evan arrives to find art restorationist Lisa already working on a fresco.  At one point, the seal covering the medieval crypt underneath the cathedral is broken and a evil force is released possessing first Evan and then a group of tourists who are all locked in the church by clockwork medieval safeguards which are designed to seal off the cathedral when the evil is released so that it doesn't spread to the outside world.  Here we see the remnants of the DEMONS 3 storyline with the cathedral substituting for the movie theatre in DEMONS and the TV-watching apartment building in DEMONS 2.  THE CHURCH also finds mass possessions and mayhem aplenty.  

If CEMETERY MAN is a definite masterpiece (it is), then THE CHURCH is a near masterpiece with Soavi showing what a super director he was and would continue to be.  It's absolutely loaded with atmosphere with some exteriors filmed in Budapest.  The sets are absolutely fantastic as are the special effects which are practical.  An odd thing is that the film really has two leading men.  Tomas Arana as Evan is clearly the leading man in the first half of the film while Hugh Quarshie as Father Gus takes the leading man honours in the film's second half.  Arana is excellent as Evan; especially when he's possessed by evil and menaces a 14 year old Asia Argento as the sacristan's daughter. 

Shakespearean actor Hugh Quarshie is also excellent as the down-to-earth Father Gus who tries to defeat the evil in the church.  Tomas Arana has a long career in films such as GLADIATOR, HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, THE BODYGUARD, L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, Soavi's next film THE SECT and . . . hey! . . . .FRANKENFISH!  Hugh Quarshie appeared on stage in Shakespearean productions including his ground-breaking performance as the lead in OTHELLO; he also appeared in such films as NIGHT BREED, HIGHLANDER, STAR WARS EPISODE ONE:  THE PHANTOM SCREENPLAY and in the DOCTOR WHO storyline DALEKS IN MANHATTAN/EVOLUTION OF THE DALEKS. 

Actor/director Asia Argento is well known for DEMONS 2, TRAUMA, THE STENDHAL SYNDROME, Dario Argento's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, LAST DAYS, Romero's LAND OF THE DEAD, THE MOTHER OF TEARS and ARGENTO'S DRACULA.  Leading lady Barbara Cupisti appearing as Lisa also has an impressive genre Cv including THE NEW YORK RIPPER, STAGEFRIGHT: AQUARIUS, OPERA and CEMETERY MAN before going on to an award-winning career as a documentary filmmaker. 

The Bishop is played by venerable Russian actor Feodor Chaliapin Jr.; son of the world-famous opera singer Feodor Sr.  Chaliapin Jr. played a similar role as this in THE NAME OF THE ROSE as well as becoming best known perhaps for his role in MOONSTRUCK; other film appearances include Dario Argento's INFERNO, Val Lewton's production of THE SEVENTH VICTIM, the Abbott & Costello comedy LOST IN A HARM (!), Fellini's ROMA and FOR WHO THE BELL TOLLS.  

DOOMSDAY COUNTY [2010]

 "OH MY GOD!  THERE'S CURLING IRONS EVERYWHERE!" 

It's Troma time in the Halloween Countdown!  First things first.  I've seen a couple write-ups about this movie which calls it an anthology film.  It is certainly NOT an anthology film anymore than PULP FICTION is an anthology film.  The film starts in a Doomsday County college dorm where the students are having a pizza delivered; despite it being against the rules to bring outside food onto campus.  The pizza delivery guy is shortly leapt upon by the students who are actually vampires.  That explains their pizza order of "Hold the garlic".  We next switch to a film class who are making a zombie film on the campus soundstage.  Immediately after being warned that the Xenon bulbs used in the studio lighting are explosive and contain a toxic gas, a dopey lighting student drops the bulb, it smashes, and everyone turns into melty-faced zombies.  Soon, all of Doomsday County is besieged by zombies (or 'xenombies' as they're dubbed).  College professor Eddie Tapia goes from teaching the film class to weaponing-up and taking out some zombies!  All this is the fiendish plot of the evil genius melty-faced scientist Dr. Mongoo! 

Out on their rounds, police officers Montgomery Kilgore and P.T. Chops encounter and fight a passel of xenombies themselves and follow the homicidal monsters to the lair of Dr. Mongoo himself.  If it so happens that Dr. Mongoo's xenombie plot gets foiled, he has another up his sleeve:  teaming up with an alien invasion force to conquer Doomsday County!  The nasty green aliens set about taking people over and zapping their ray guns.  The government elists the aid of rock star/secret agent Betty Beretta to save the day!  Betty is always there when her country and the world is in need.  When things get really sticky for Betty, she is joined in the fight by Prof. Eddie Tapia, officers Montgomery & Chops and the vampire student buds.  The alien invasion is thwarted and all is right with the world.  Or is it?!?!?!?!

DOOMSDAY COUNTY is a typical Troma rollicking hoot with wacky aliens and wacky heroes and wacky situations to provide a wacky time.  If you're not in a wacky mood, you'll probably think it ain't great.  But it is a lot of fun and somehow manages to feature mostly terrific performances especially by Tara Lightfoot as the wise-cracking Betty Beretta and Paul Alessi & Michael Santi as the cop team I want to see a TV series built around:  Chops & Montgomery!  John Archer Lundgren as the melty-faced evil genius Dr. Mongoo is wonderful and give the Doc a vocal delivery which has to be heard to be believed!     THe make-up & special effects, for a Troma release, are very good with flying saucers inspired by EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS.  This movie is just so much fun that you'd have to be a crotchedy old fart not to enjoy it!

A Samhain Blessing...by Molly Roberts

THEY LIVE INSIDE US [2020]

 "I THINK THERE'S A STORY HERE WAITING TO BE TOLD." 

Unfortunately, we really don't get one in THEY LIVE INSIDE US.  I was really hoping for one.  I was rooting for this movie; especially after the terrific Halloweeny vibe of the opening five or so minutes which is dripping with autumnal leaves and Beistle Halloween decorations.  But unfortunately the film is filled with a whole lot of things not-happening.  The slight plot concerns a typical neighbourhood haunted house which author Jake decides to visit on Halloween night along with his daughter Dani in order to get some inspiration for a scary screenplay he's writing.  That's about it. 

Jake has a notebook in which he lists a bunch of scary monsters and chooses several of them to write about during the film.  These scenes, in which we see the scary scenarios played out for us provide the only pep the film has to offer:  a Jason-like serial killer in a black cat Halloween mask, a killer clown, a killer scarecrow. . . nothing we haven't seen before but they make a welcome break from the plodding rest of the film.  There is a twist, I guess which you'll guess fairly early on -- especially since some neighbourhood bike-riding teens basically tell you the forthcoming plot of the film in the first five minutes!  

Writer/Director/Cinematographer/Editor/Chief Cook & Bottle-Washer Michael Ballif is really trying here, and there are moments here and there which are nicely done; but it seems like every shot is held too long and every scene should be trimmed at its beginning AND the end.  Seemingly endless repetitions of lead actor James Morris slowly roaming the Booth House encountering the same rooms and the same doors while wearing an expression of confusion combined with fear are surely meant to play like a nightmare scenario but instead try the viewer's patience.  All this in a movie which lasts an hour and 43 minutes means it desperately needs the scissors taken to it.  Worse is the fact that all this padding is needless since the movie would surely play better in an 80 or so minute cut and not lose anything plotwise.  THEY LIVE INSIDE US apparently has a connection to the horror anthology THE WITCHING SEASON which I own but haven't had a chance to watch yet.  I know . . . what a silly git!  The moviecertainly is REALLY well shot!  As I said, I was rooting for this movie but it's too disjointed and over-padded to be really worthwhile.  Fantastic poster, though!

    

THE SUCKLING [1990]

 O.M.M-in' F-in' G!!! Seriously, with this movie!?!?!?!?!?!

One of the most bonkers bananas batshit things I've ever seen! Pretty much every reviewer for this movie has the same reaction so I won't bore you with a very detailed synopsis (any of the other reviews will give you a better one than I). Suffice it to say that a young woman and her useless boyfriend goes to the local backwoods whorehouse to see about getting her an abortion. Since it's 1990 and there's no indication this is a period piece, the reason for doing this instead of going to any accredited clinic or family planning center escapes me. But apparently that's how it's done in this universe and Big Mama runs the whores AND the abortions; at one point she actually hangs up her white lab coat with a wire hanger that has bloody gore hanging from the hanger hook! Naturally, the pregnant woman is slipped a mickey and while she's out cold, they abort the fetus and flush it down the old crapper! And again naturally, the toxic waste in the sewers creates a murderous fetus monster with long teeth like the creature in Kate Bush's EXPERIMENT IV video!

After that, things then take a turn for the wacky!!! Yep, you heard me right: AFTER THAT! 

 Everybody in the whorehouse gets trapped inside apparently by having the doors and windows sealed by gigantic uterus walls. Pretty much everyone in the house is a taco short of a combination plate anyway and things go from mayhem to mayhem. Unfortunately, the film sags majorly in the middle (particularly in the overlong and rather dull basement sequence).  However, things become insanely nonsensical for the big finish and, if ANY of this madness sounds intriguing to you, then you MUST give THE SUCKLING a watch. Particularly in the beautiful Vinegar Syndrome blu ray which, I'm sure, is the best the film has ever looked. MUCH funnier and not as horrifying as the Hugh Grant "comedy" NINE MONTHS! Francis Teri directed this and nothing else.  I can't think why?  THE SUCKLING obviously doesn't take it self seriously and is trying for the most ridiculous horror film of all time; and it's not far off!  This one's a keeper!

TIKI [2006]

 IF YOU CROSS "CARRIE" WITH THE FINAL SEGMENT OF "TRILOGY OF TERROR", WHADDAYA GET?  That's right.  But first add in a micro-budget and some amateur acting and you have the Ron Ford opus:  TIKI!  This is not altogether a bad thing.  OK, the acting is pretty terrible.  But the little Tiki guy is so much fun; it gibbers constantly in a voice similar to Latka on helium and is obviously held by someone directly underneath the camera's field of vision and made to scamper about the place.  This, my friends, is hilarious and super-cute and a big plus in my book!  Come on, what exactly were you expecting when you went into this movie?!?!?  

The plot goes something like this:  Amy leaves her Hawaiian Islands home to study drama at a mainland college.  When she gets there, she is immediately bullied by a bunch of snotty, stuck-up girls (who would do this in high school but it's not really something that happens in college, I don't think).  They're drama professor Mark (DON'T call him Mr. Bernardi!!!!!) is one of those footloose and fancy free professors that likes everything informal; so informal, in fact, that he walks in on Amy while she's topless changing for her role as Eliza Doolittle in PYGMALION.  Amy has kinda a thing for ole Mark so she first covers herself but quickly drops her hands and gives him a full view.  Amy later receives a letter headed with "YOU ROCK!" in capital letters that apparently is from Mark inviting Amy to stop on by his house that night.  She does so, dressed only in rather slutty undergarments only to find the invitation was not from Mark but a joke played by the snotty girls! Amy runs from the house where all the bullies are lined up to laugh at her.  Amy suddenly has some sort of seizure and is rushed to the hospital in a coma.  Amy's Aunt Maylea flies to her niece's side and learns what happened.  Auntie is a firm believer and practitioner in the "old religion" (kinda vaguely defined here) and instills the comatose Amy's spirit into a small wooden Tiki idol which gains revenge on everyone responsible for the prank in some nicely bloody ways.  

The major fault with the film I think is the running time; again, with a movie like this, brevity is everything.  About half of everything before the Tiki starts offing people could be cut with no loss to the film and, due to the quality of the acting, would be a definite plus.  Despite this, director Ron Ford does keep a light touch with slight humourous bits sprinkled throughout.  The amateur cast give it their all, such as that is, and practically the only cast member who has more than this one film as a credit is Wes Deitrick as the slightly gross Mark Bernardi and D.R. Anderson (THE WARD) as one of the bonehead boyfriends.  This is another one I can't really recommend unless you are very tolerant for all the needless dialogue scenes in the first half of the movie.  But if you're so inclined, that wacky little Tiki and his bloody kills almost make up for it.

MAGIC [1978]

 UMPTEENTH TAKE ON THE VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY HORROR FILM. 

As far as I can tell, the earliest film version of this tried-and-true horror trope was Lon Chaney's THE UNHOLY THREE  [1925] and I don't think there's a decade since then when there hasn't been SOME version filmed.  The best and surely most influential can be found in the classic 1945 DEAD OF NIGHT with Michael Redgrave in the nutty ventriloquist role.  Hell, there's even a famous TWILIGHT ZONE episode which is taken mostly from the 1945 film.  MAGIC, therefore, is not the best version of this story; however, it's pretty well up there.  And this is surely the "classiest" version;

directed by Richard Attenborough and starring Anthony Hopkins, Ann-Margaret, Burgess Meredith and Ed Lauter, the acting chops are off the charts!  I think here, in fact, Hopkins gives one of his best performances in a career of great performances.  Future Sir Tony here plays a failed magician named Corky Withers who fails at everything until he changes his act to ventriloquism with the addition of his dummy named Fats.  Super agent Ben Greene (Burgess Meredith) parlays this into huge success on television until the network contract requires Corky to have a physical exam (which he is dead-set against).  Corky runs off into hiding and looks up his old high school crush Peggy Ann Snow (Ann-Margaret) who is stuck in an unhappy marriage with Duke (Ed Lauter) and soon has an affair with her.  But something's not right with Corky's relationship with his dummy Fats whom Corky seems to be treating as a real person.

As a horror film, MAGIC is on the outskirts.  There are really no real scares to be found in the movie; in fact, the scariest thing is probably that infamous trailer consisting of a close-up on Fats reciting his little poem:  "Abracadabra, I sit on his knee.  Presto chango, and now he is me.  Hocus pocus, we take her to bed.  Magic is fun . . . .we're dead." 

that apparently scarred a passel of 1978 kiddies who still remember it to this day.  The film, however, is just superbly acted and has a genuine creepiness to it.  It is a character study beautifully portrayed by all the cast and pictures the slow slide into madness of Corky Withers.  It does, however, count as a horror film because, despite all participants' arguments to the contrary, Fats' "sentience" does not all take place in Corky's mind.  Interview subjects involved with the film over the years have made a point of saying how Fats never speaks unless Corky is close by and Fats never moves unless Corky is in contact with the dummy.  This argument is disproved by one scene in which Fats kills someone with a knife when Corky is nowhere in the vicinity.  Anyway you slice that, Fats is capable of acting on his own.  As I've said, MAGIC is well-worth watching for the excellent acting jobs by everyone involved and for the creepy-ass dummy Fats.  Hopkins himself should be singled out for an extraordinary performance which seems to go overlooked over the the years.  Great stuff!

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES: FEAR FACTORY [2006]

 HALLOWEEN IN THE 31ST CENTURY. 

Bouncing Boy, Brainiac 5, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl and Superboy . . . .oops, sorry, SuperMAN . . . .are watching the cartoon equivalent of ALIEN when a huge cosmic storm interrupts the fun.  In the eye of the swirling storm is an old-fashioned, decrepit space station.  The heroes fly the Legion cruiser to dock with it and are greeted by a six-eyed Peter Lorre who tells them welcome and "The Master's been expecting you."  The interior of the space station (named Quavermass 12 . . . . get it?) looks basically like Dracula's Castle and the "master" is named Professor Planarus and is also vaguely Dracula-like. 

The six-eyed Peter Lorre (who is actually named Boris) says the master would love to have them for dinner (see what he did there?).  The Legionnaires join Planarus at his long dining table and are fed food specically tailored to their likes; Superman gets Ma Kent's homemade chicken noodle soup.  Boris whispers in Bouncing Boy's ear that he should get out while he still can.  Then, unfortunately, Bouncing Boy is served a bowl of eyeball soup!  Planarus then informs the Legionnaires that the docking bridge is "out" and they will have to spend the night.  Each Legionnaire is shown to a spooky bedroom where they retire for the night.  Bouncing Boy finds a cat named Whiskers who runs off causing the Legionnaire to chase it; BB winds through castle corridors, a swamp and then the Nostromo spaceship from ALIEN (or its cartoon equivalent) and is attacked by the Xenomorph (or its cartoon equivalent).  Saturn Girl is awakened by Bouncing Boy's psychic distress and the Legionnaires go help save him from the alien; however, Bouncing Boy is then sucked into a strange vortex/portal and disappears.

While searching for the missing Bouncing Boy, the Legionnaires discover a painting of their missing comrade screaming in the portrait gallery.  Mysterious closing walls shepherd the Legionnaires to Lightning Lad's bedroom.  A menacing toy clown named Captain Howdy (see what they did there?)  appears which apparently was Lightning Lad's childhood fear that lived under his bed.  The clown morphs into a monster and during the melee, Lightning Lad too disappears screaming into a portal and his screaming portrait is later found in the gallery.  The Legionnaires surmise that the ship is confronting them with their worst fears and each Legionnaire in turn will be facing it.  

The Halloweeny vibe is strongest during the first half of the episode but it all makes a fun viewing for October.

COLOR OUT OF SPACE (2019)

 WELCOME BACK, RICHARD STANLEY!  

One of my favourite authors is H.P. Lovecraft.  I probably first read one of his stories when I was a kid back in the 1970s in an anthology here or there.  There's a good chance I read something like THE OUTSIDER or RATS IN THE WALLS but certainly nothing from the so-called "Cthulhu Mythos" stories until many years later in the mid-1980s when I was in college.  I bought and read "The Best of H.P. Lovecraft":  this one, in fact. 

I fell in love immediately with every story and quickly bought up all the HPL I could find.  To this day, my favourite Lovecraft story is probably THE COLOUR OUT OF SPACE (or else THE SHADOW OVER INNSMOUTH sometimes).  I'll tell you honestly COLOUR freaked me out enough that for months after reading it, I was uneasy being under the nighttime sky.  I was genuinely creeped out and if that ain't an example of some terrific writing, I don't know what is.  But how can you film COLOUR?!?!?  When a strange meteor falls out of the sky and lands on Nahum Gardner's farm, the story explains that "colour" emerging from it is not a colour at all; that's just the nearest word that approximates whatever it is.  How do you depict something like that on the screen; something that's totally indescribable?  In fact, that's the difficulty with most of Lovecraft's stories; almost all of them contain something that is "indescribable" so how do you film it?  That's why all Lovecraft stories are nearly impossible to adapt to film.  COLOUR has been adapted several times already:  the Boris Karloff starrer DIE, MONSTER, DIE, the Wil Wheaton starrer THE CURSE and the 2010 DIE FARBE.  Of all these, the latter film is the most successful.  But here we have Richard Stanley, the "cursed" Richard Stanley, returning to make his first feature film in a couple decades and having been nearly destroyed by his experiences on THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU.  And what does he make as his return to the director's chair?  A nearly unfilmable Lovecraft film!  I can only congratulate him on his success!

There are quite a few differences between COLOR OUT OF SPACE and the original story.  For one thing, it takes place in the present.  This, I think, works in the film's favour as it frees up the narrative from the constraints of a period piece and makes it more relatable.  There are also many things which are very true to the story as the film basically unfolds in the same way the story does.  We get the meteor being repeatedly struck by lightning, we get the well, we get the strangely humongous fruit and vegetables which don't taste good.  The one complaint I have with the movie is that we don't get the slow rot of everything then turning to a grey powder.  At least not until the very end.  But I miss the slow detereorization and would've liked to see the vegetation and the house slowly turning to grey dust.  Other than that, COLOR OUT OF SPACE does an admirable job of adapting Lovecraft and the sense of cosmic horror that was his specialty.  The cast is all excellent. 

Nicolas Cage thankfully gives an appropriate performance and lays off the VAMPIRE'S KISS/WICKER MAN shenanigans; he only resorts to a toned-down bonkers-ness when called for.  Joely Richardson is also great as Mrs. Gardner and makes a nice acting foil to Cage.  Elliot Knight as our narrator/hydrologist Ward Phillips is excellent as well and needs to get more acting work!  Madeleine Arthur, Brendan Meyer and Julian Hilliard are also quite good as the kids; although young Hilliard gives essentially the same performance he gave in THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE -- that is, standing outside staring at the "color" as he stood outside staring at ghosts in the Netflix series.  No biggie though -- he's a kid, he ain't Laurence Olivier!  Hell, even Tommy Chong is great as Ezra the squatter hippy hermit; playing it straight except for the humour which comes from the script itself.  This is quite a good stab at THE COLOUR OUT OF SPACE and rates in the upper tier of HPL film adaptations to date. 

NEITHER THE SEA NOR THE SAND [1972]

 "NEITHER THE SEA NOR THE SAND WILL KILL THEIR LOVE, NOR THE WIND TAKE IT IN ENVY FROM THEM." 

Ah, 1972:  the height of all things gothic . . . .particularly gothic romance.  Look at that post I did a few weeks ago of all those Gothic romance novel covers!  Gothic romance was everywhere.  I know.  I lived through it.  The impact of DARK SHADOWS on the zeitgeist mixing romantic soap opera with horror and monsters for the previous 5 years still resonated even after it's 1971 cancellation.  Even the comic book world saw an explosion of gothic romance books like HAUNTED LOVE, DARK MANSIONS OF FORBIDDEN LOVE and the like.  And here we have the 1972 film based on a novel written by a TV news reader!  I mean, just LOOK at that poster.  You would never even know it was a horror movie; looks like a wind-tossed sea-swept romance novel with maybe some gothic overtones.  But this is, believe it or don't, a zombie movie more than a little bit inspired by "THE MONKEY'S PAW". . . .except without the paw.  

Anna Robinson is stuck in a loveless marriage.  She meets Byronic Hugh Dabernon by a lighthouse on the isle of Jersey.  They don't meet cute; it's not that kind of movie or that kind of era.  It's 1972.  They meet "gothic romancey" with the wind and the dark clouds and the crashing surf.  It is really love at first sight and soon they are involved in a passionate affair. 

Hugh takes Anna back to the family house which offends his blue-nosed brother George, who demands that she be gone before he comes back that evening.  Hugh and Anna decide to go off together for a romantic romp in Scotland; they rent a cottage from Mr. and Mrs. MacKay and spend an idyllic time . . . . until while mid-romp, Hugh drops dead of an unsuspected heart aneurism.  More devastated than she's ever known, with all her hopes of happiness dashed, and in a state of shock, Anna is sedated and the local doctor fills out Hugh's death certificate.  Waking in the middle of the night, Anna hears footsteps scuffling around the cabin.  She opens the door to find Hugh standing there!  Anna is ecstatically happy . . . .but there is something odd about Hugh.  He doesn't speak and is cold to the touch.  In fact, he communicates mentally with Anna without speaking and she hears his voice in her head.  Hugh is dead but it seems the overwhelming love for each other has brought him back as a silent, shuffling zombie. 

Anna believes that Hugh is alive and the doctor made a mistaken diagnosis; but when she returns with Hugh (who has a habit of staring endlessly at her to the point of unnerving her) to the Danernon homestead, George insists that Hugh is really dead and that Anna is some kind of evil witch in league with the Devil and plans to have Hugh exorcised by a priest.  Anna is none too happy about this and doesn't go along as George drives Hugh to meet the priest.  Hugh suddenly grabs the steering wheel and causes the car to go over a cliff killing George.  Anna is waiting at the front door as Hugh slowly shuffles back to her.  It is slightly suggested by the movie that Anna may have mentally made Hugh do this but, nicely, the mystery is never blatantly cleared up.  Anna has an idyllic time fixing meals for Hugh which he never eats and fussing over him.  Unfortunately, Hugh is physically deteriorating . . . . in fact, rotting slowly . . . .and what's worse, he wants Anna to join him in death.

This movie is one odd duck.  It's the definition of a slow-burn and very much character-driven.  The unease and eventual dread in Hugh's rotting form is subtley portrayed and there is no outright horror set-pieces that usually appear in zombie movies.  I believe Gordon Honeycombe, the author of the original novel, had quite a bit of input into the making of the film; I've never read the novel but I assume it's pretty close to what we see in the film.  Director Fred Burnley didn't direct another film but worked primarily in television and, in fact, died only three years after making this film.  Susan Hampshire (BAFFLED!, THE TRYGON FACTOR), the present day Lady Kulukundis, is very good in the role of Anna; she runs the gamut of the character's emotions with sadness, passion, devastation and possible madness all effectively portrayed.  Owing to the script (and presumably the novel), there are no heroes or villains here but everyone is drawn in shades of gray.  Anna is sympathetic as a character but is also no saint and possibly commits murder through her "control" of Hugh.  Michael Petrovich (TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS, TURKEY SHOOT) as Hugh is pretty wooden and it's difficult to understand what Anna sees in him; however, this works well after Hugh is dead since that's exactly what's called for in the role.  Always wonderful Frank Finlay (SITTING TARGET, LIFEFORCE, the Louis Jourdan DRACULA, MURDER BY DECREE, A STUDY IN TERROR, THE DEADLY BEES) is wonderfully outraged as prim brother George.  Also in the cast as Hugh's friend Collie is DOCTOR WHO's own Michael Craze (SATAN'S SLAVE, TERROR) who doesn't have a lot to do but is quite good doing it.  This is, as I said, an odd, quiet little zombie movie which is worth a watch if that's where your mind is at.

CURSE OF THE UNDEAD [1959]

LOOK!  A WESTERN WAMPIRE MOVIE! 

Not the first movie to combine westerns and horror by a long chalk (the 30's and 40's poverty row oaters were full of them), but this was something kinda new and refreshing for the next generation.  An epidemic of death among the young girls of a western town has broken out; leaving the dead girls with two puncture marks on their necks.  Doc Carter is trying to figure out what's going on while a land-grabbing local rancher named Buffer is trying to take over his land by any unscrupulous way possible.  Young Tim Carter (Doc's son) is severely beaten by Buffer's goons and Doc Carter goes to confront the bully along with the sheriff.

  The doctor leaves Buffer and his goons but when his wagon returns home, Doc Carter is dead at the reins.  After the Doc is buried, Tim goes to confront Buffer and ends up being shot dead in a duel with him.  After losing both her father and brother, the Doc's daughter Dolores posts reward posters around town offering $100 for someone to kill Buffer.  A wandering bounty hunter named Drake Robey decides to take up the bounty.  It's no spoiler, since the film makes it clear quite early, that Drake Robey is a vampire.  Dolores' beau Preacher Dan Young tries to disuade her from going through with the murderous bounty and, after a big argument, Dolores invites Robey to stay on the Carter Ranch.  That night, Robey puts the slow bite on Dolores and the next morning she agrees to cancel the bounty but to keep Robey on as a hired hand.  Preacher Dan slowly comes to realize that Drake Robey is a vampire and battles him for the safety of the town and his beloved Dolores.

CURSE OF THE UNDEAD is a fairly routine late-50's horror film with the nice twist of a cowboy vampire.  The great Michael Pate is the coolest cat around and his portrayal of Drake Robey is sharp and a touch otherworldly; his is (super)naturally the best role in the film.  It is a little disappointing that Robey is quite often seen walking around in broad daylight; the only effect sunlight has on the vampire is that it hurts his eyes!  The rest of the cast is perfectly fine with old-genre-favourite John Hoyt (ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE, THE BLACK CASTLE, WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE, X: THE MAN WITH X-RAY EYES) as Doc Carter always reliable in a short-lived role.  Director Edward Dein (THE LEECH WOMAN) does an unspectacular but competent job.  The real star of the film is the gorgeous lighting and cinematography (shown to best effect on the new Kino Lorber blu-ray) filmed in beautiful expressionistic chiaroscuro by genre vet DP Ellis W. Carter (THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN, THE MOLE PEOPLE, THE MONOLITH MONSTERS, TWICE-TOLD TALES).  No classic but much better than it has a right to be.