HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SCOOBY-DOO! [2020]

 IT'S THANKSGIVING DAY . . . .AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE THAN BY WATCHING A HALLOWEEN SCOOBY-DOO MOVIE! 

Yeah, that's how I do.  The new Scooby-Doo feature film will now become a yearly Halloween rewatch because (spoiler alert!) it's wonderful.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this one.  It's true, as many people have already said, that's it's the Scooby-Doo Mad Max movie or, as I prefer to say, Scooby-Doo in the WACKY RACES!  At least half of the entire film takes place while our heroes are being chased by our monsters down a seemingly endless highway.  But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  The gang of Mystery Incorporated are at a Halloween parade headed by none other than Elvira, Mistress of the Dark when a creepy Jack O'Lantern-noggined Scarecrow attacks with his flying pumpkins. 

The ever-intelligent Velma surmises that the flying pumpkins are in fact just drones and uses a phone app (provided by Freddie) to short-circuit them.  The scarecrow villain is unmasked and revealed to be . . . . the Scarecrow!  Yeah, the Batman villain from Gotham City (really cool, that!) and Dr. Crane is carted off in an armoured police van.  As Shaggy and Scooby wander off for a little trick-or-treating, they discover a leaking toxic waste truck next to a pumpkin patch which turns the gourds into flying jack o'lantern monsters!  At the same time, the poor Mystery Machine (which was totalled in the previous scarecrow attack) is towed away and is replaced by a new state-of-the-art Mystery Machine X by none other than Bill Nye the Science Guy. 

From here, the giant Jack O'Lantern Monster and it's flying pumpkin toothy minions attack and the gang has to team up with a local guy named Mike and his young daughter, Elvira, Bill Nye . . . .and they even at one point have to bust out The Scarecrow to help them!!!  

At the start of the film, when I saw Elvira, I thought this would be another example of a "guest star" who is dropped into the film for 5 minutes as a cameo.  But no.  Thankfully, Elvira (and Bill Nye) are integral parts of the plot and are in the entire film; Bill Nye as a hologram in the souped-up Mystery Machine X -- the script even makes a KNIGHT RIDER jokes about it referring to him as "The Nye Rider".  I appreciated how these guest stars were totally integrated into the plot and didn't show up as a gratuitous cameo.  The lengthy road chase is actually exciting and has so much going on in it that it never drags.  There are also plenty of good laughs.  There is also a LOT of pumpkin carnage going on; sure, it's only pumpkin guts but it scores high on the bloog & gore-o-meter while you're watching.  Matthew Lillard is back voicing Shaggy and here he sounds really old for some reason -- similar to how Casey Kasem sounded in his latter days.  Get some rest, Matthew; you sound tired.  But other than Lillard's occasionally wheezy voice, he's still the perfect Shaggy.  Frank Welker (who actually IS kinda old) sounds bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as Freddie.  Also appearing as Mike is Bumper Robinson who portrayed Victor "Cyborg" Stone in the DC animated movie JUSTICE LEAGUE:  DOOM. This is one action-packed Scooby movie that I'll be rewatching every Halloween for sure!  I had a blast!

DRACULA 3D aka ARGENTO'S DRACULA [2012]

 I DIDN'T HATE THIS. 

One of the most lambasted of all Dario Argento's films and (as of this writing) his last film (unless you're still waiting for THE SANDMAN or even BLACK GLASSES).  The truth is that yes, this (and most of his films made in the latter portion of his career) does not in any way come close to his previous masterpieces of Italian horror.  However, DRACULA 3D is not as bad as everyone says.  It's, in fact, much better than I was expecting and totally watchable while remaining a pretty poor excuse for an Argento film.  I'd like to take this opportunity to address many of the criticisms of the film which I've heard over the years and, now that I've seen it, give my take on the matter.  

The first elephant in the room is the CGI which is definitely atrocious; however in my eye really good CGI looks almost as bad as terrible CGI.  None of it ever looks substantial or real.  Also, for horror fans who adore low budget flicks like THE CREEPING TERROR, BEGINNING OF THE END, THE GIANT CLAW, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, and any number of such horror movies, isn't it common to overlook such lacking effects to enjoy the film for what it gets right?  I, for one, would much prefer to rewatch ARGENTO'S DRACULA than have to suffer through a minute of VAN HELSING or, indeed, AVATAR; both of these latter films I thought were terrible and (a worse sin) boring.   Another criticism I've heard is that the film is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.  I would agree that over an hour and forty-five minutes may not have been needed but I really didn't feel like it dragged much at any point.  The acting and line readings are (I think deliberately) overly dramatic and taking things uber-seriously -- but hey, this is a Dracula film - - aren't they ALL like that?  The dialogue is spoken very subdued and emphatically, I assume, because this is a period film and that's the way Dario wanted it to be played.  While the SPFX may be lacking, the look of the film is often gorgeous with Claudio Cosentino's set design beautifully photographed by Luciano Tovoli. 

The whole film, in fact, is a quite respectable (if ordinary) retelling of the Dracula tale . . . until things suddenly get really silly around the 1 hour 25 minute mark . . . . about the time when Dracula turns into a giant CGI praying mantis.  Buy hey, where the hell else are you gonna see a giant CGI vampire/praying mantis?!??!  Absolutely stupid but I love it!  I've heard criticism also that it's silly for Dracula to turn into a giant insect since he usually transforms into something the same size as he is i.e. where'd he get all that extra mass?  Well, I never heard anyone complain about Dracula turning into a bat; where'd all his extra mass GO?!?!  The story is basically the same Dracula story we've seen a million times with little variations here and there.

The acting ranges from pretty bad to really good; of course, Rutger Hauer as Abraham Van Helsing heads the "really good" list.  Sure, we'd all like to see more of Hauer (as he only first appears 2/3rds of the way through the film) but he fulfills the same role as Harvey Keitel in PULP FICTION (yeah, I just made a comparison between that film and this) in that Van Helsing shows up after all the vampiric shenanigans to "clean up" the mess.  I also enjoyed several nice, new touches to the Dracula/vampire genre that Argento includes the town officials being secretly "in on it" as they have an "agreement" with Count Dracula.  A failure of the script is that the agreement, whatever it is, is never explained (for instance, what do the town officials get out of it to let Dracula occasionally snack on villagers).  Unfortunately, the recent Dracula activity causes the officials to call a meeting to discuss their "vampire problem" and if the pact is worth it.  Count Dracula intrudes on the meeting (as a CGI swarm of flies) and massacres the back-stabbing officials in a scene that reminds me of a (less-effective and less-scary) version of the boardroom massacre scene in Kevin Smith's DOGMA.  Another nice innovation occurs earlier in the film when a bitten Jonathan Harker is accosted by sunlight coming in through a window; the light is accompanied by an "atomic" sound effect which sounds like the climax of KISS ME DEADLY.  It seems quite right that sunlight to a vampire would sound like/appear to him as some kind of radioactive atomic-powered fire from Hell coming to get him.  Count Dracula himself is played by Thomas Kretschmann (the MCU's Baron von Strucker from their Captain America and Avengers movies) and he is quite adequate is unspectacular; he does what is called for in the role but brings no spark of personality to the Count.  Asia Argento is also perfectly fine in the role of Lucy and Miriam Giovanelli is nicely petulant as the singular of Dracula's brides.  

My ultimate verdict is that DRACULA 3D is not a good movie by any means but it is a perfectly watchable B-movie retelling of the Bram Stoker tale with an enjoyably-silly final 20 minutes and a Dracula who's a really messy eater!  Wipe yer damn mouth, sloppy!!!

DEEP SPACE [1988]

 I had waaaaaaaaaay too much fun with this one!  The sainted Fred Olen Ray gave us an 80's ALIEN rip-off where the alien has not only a mouth full of spiky teeth but also a vagina dentata where it's stomach should be  --  which also spews deadly tentacles from it for our Japanese horror fans in da house.  Oh and did I mention it stars the great Charles Napier?!?!  Not only is Charles Napier the leading man/hero of this film but he also gets his end away with Ann Turkel (HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP)!  During all this joyous perfection, Napier also plays "buddy cops" with Ron Glass (BARNEY MILLER) against their crotchedy police captain Bo Svenson!  And before you think this abundance of riches is the ultimate he can go, Fred Olen Ray casts Julie (Catwoman) Newmar as a psychic crank!  Can any movie be more sheer perfection, I ask you?!?!?!?

Scientists working for the government engineer a weaponized monster (said ALIEN ripoff) and shoot it into space (for some reason).  Then, as happens in these movies, it then plummets to earth in a fiery crash (a la THE BLOB) and is witnessed by an old wino and a couple necking teenagers (aged 35) who are busy fixing a flat tire -- seriously, couldn't you fix the tire AFTER making out?!?!?!?  Anyway, said brilliant teen decides to poke the large cocoon-like giant roach egg at the crash site; awakening the monster which quickly tears the teenagers to chunks.  Detectives McLemore and Merris (Napier and Glass) head on out there to investigate.  The two detectives find a couple of "giant roach eggs" and take them home (as you do).  Police Captain Robertson (Bo Svenson) continually orders the detectives to see him in his office . . . . for no particular reason.   Another of the "cocoons" is brought to the police lab where it hatches a scuttling spider-like creature that is just as good at tearing people into chunks (as the police lab doc finds out).  Detective Merris puts his "giant roach egg" under the sink while he makes meat loaf.  Detective McLemore (no relation to STAX) and Police Officer Sandbourn (Turkel) bring their "giant roach egg" to a wacky scientist who decides poking it with a drill would be a good idea.  Cue scuttling spider monster attack!  Things and junk and stuff happen from then on to the enjoyment of us all!  Bless director Fred Olen Ray for providing us with not only monster fights but also mega-explosions and car jumps for no reason other than because they're cool!  

My favourite movie is an early 60's B&W art film by Michelangelo Antonioni.  My second favourite film (sometimes 1 & 2 switch places) is an early 60's B&W art film by Ingmar Bergman.  My favourite directors besides these two fellas are Yasujiro Ozu, Howard Hawks, John Ford, Andrei Tarkovsky, Luis Bunuel and Akira Kurosawa to name a few.  Just as much as I love critically-acclaimed cinematic masterpieces, I love movies like DEEP SPACE as well.  Not in that self-aware, 'so-bad-it's-good" way of looking down on these films because I'm so superior.  No, for the appreciation of the sheer entertainment they provide and for the chutzpah these filmmakers show in bringing their work to the screen.  If someone feels that they are "too good" to watch a low-budget flick like DEEP SPACE, I feel sorry for them.  I don't watch critically-acclaimed art films because I'm "supposed to" like them but because I enjoy them and I'm entertained by them.  The same goes for any film; either by Ingmar Bergman or Fred Olen Ray.  Don't limit yourself.  Be open to genres you don't think you like.  The first half of my life I didn't like westerns but now I love them; this is because I slowly watched westerns which were considered "the best of the best" and then I "got it".  This does not mean that you shouldn't know technically what makes a movie better than another.  You should.  However, this doesn't mean that the technically not-so-hot movie cannot be enjoyed for what it is.  Knowing that a movie is "technically bad" does not mean you cannot still enjoy it for entertaining you; even while acknowledging the severe faults the film may have.  I try not to limit myself because I want to experience as much as I can while I'm here.  So that's why I can dearly love both LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD and HORROR OF PARTY BEACH for different reasons.  Losing one or the other of those films because of a prejudice against them would be MY loss . . . . and I don't wanna be a movie "loser".

ZAPPA IN BARCELONA [1988]

 

One of my favourite Frank Zappa live albums is "THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE" and this concert in Barcelona consists of the exact same band during the exact same European tour in 1988.  Originally only available as a bootleg, ZAPPA IN BARCELONA became more widely available in 2007 and it's a happy occurrence!  The concert is taken from a Spanish TV broadcast so yeah, the sound may not be optimal but it's fine.  The performances by FZ and the entire band are superb (no surprise there) and most of the set list consists of different songs than are featured on the "BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD" double live album so it's a win win!  It's hard to believe, watching this concert, that Frank would be gone in 5 years; his guitar work is off in the stratosphere.  The monumental Ike Willis (rhythm guitar, fuzzy dice & Captain's Hat) and Bobby Martin (keyboards) share lead vocals along with Frank.  Believe it or don't, at the moment anyway the full concert is available on youtube.  The concert took place on May 17, 1888.  A fun time is had by all.

Set list:

The Black Page #2 

Packard Goose 

Sharleena 

Bamboozled By Love 

Black Napkins 

When The Lie's So Big 

Planet Of The Baritone Women 

Any Kind Of Pain 

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk 

Sofa 

Find Her Finer 

Big Swifty 

I Ain't Got No Heart 

Love Of My Life 

The Torture Never Stops 

Bolero 

Watermelon In Easter Hay

Whipping Post 

I Am The Walrus 

The Illinois Enema Bandit 

Strictly Genteel 

THE MURRAY HILL RADIO THEATRE PRESENTS THE GREEN HORNET

 NEW VINYL OF AN OLD FAVOURITE! 

I've probably told this story before (in fact, I did -- right here on my companion blog) but I got into what is known as "Old Time Radio Shows" in the late 70's -- probably 1977 or thereabouts.  At that time, I took out every old-time radio record that my middle school library had available -- which wasn't much but sufficient to get me started.  Among that first handful was my first encounter with The Shadow on a 3-record set produced by Murray Hill Records.  And here it is:

This 3 record set was something like the holy grail to me and I checked it out of the library over and over and over again!  Such a long-time familiarity obviously caused everything about this record to become iconic in my mind:  the 6 Shadow episodes listened to repeatedly and the cover art which I stared at continuosly while listening to the records.  I mean, just look at that pulp cover artwork sandwiched into the speaker of a vintage radio with "THE MURRAY HILL RADIO THEATRE" emblazoned at the top.  Just the sight of any Murray Hill record of old-time radio hits me in the nostalgia-noggin!  

Well, lately in the last year I've taken to Discogs to buy some vinyl which I've known about and coveted for decades but never got a chance to pick up.  And one of those I just received in the mail:  THE MURRAY HILL RADIO THEATRE PRESENTS THE GREEN HORNET seen above.  What a beauty!  The box itself is in near-perfect condition and so are the records themselves!  Now, I have billions of old-radio shows in my vault but there's just nothing like listening to them on vinyl; which is the way I first listened to them oh those many decades ago. Since by this time I've picked up about a dozen old vinyl treasures (not all old-time radio shows, either) for myself, I thought I might even post about some of the more interesting of them here because they're boffo keen!

IN SEARCH OF . . . (2018 - )

 THE HISTORY CHANNEL REVIVAL OF THE CLASSIC SERIES. 

One of the great joys of my youth was watching the original IN SEARCH OF... series with Leonard Nimoy that was always on in syndication.  As I recall, in the late 70's, it was aired on either Saturday or Sunday afternoons (or both) around that time when all the Saturday morning cartoons had finished up for the day.  In 2018, the History Channel decided to revive the series with another half-Vulcan as host:  Zachary Quinto.  Of course, this isn't the first revival of the series, as there was a brief one in 2002 hosted by THE X-FILES' Mitch Pileggi.  Neither that one or the new one eclipse the classic Leonard Nimoy run but the Pileggi one was OK and the Quinto version is maybe a little better -- if indeed very different.  The new version of IN SEARCH OF... consists of hour programmes (including commercials) and, unlike the Pileggi version, only focuses on one subject.  The pilot episode entitled "ALIENS" (what ELSE would the History Channel pick to be the pilot episode?!?!?!) began as the first series meant to continue on with Quinto actually travelling to the different places mentioned in the programme and talking face-to-face with the people interviewed.  Quinto is really good in his interactions with his interview subjects and also proves to be a very hands-on host as he straps himself into an "alien abduction simulator" which lifts him blindfolded up into the air after being submerged in a pool of water!  Quinto seems to be really into the investigation portion of his remit as he parachutes out of a plane (a personal fear of his) in order to test a theory on memory function, travels down into a dangerous sinkhole or peers into a frosty container full of actual corpses in the cryogenics lab of Alcor Laboratories in Arizona.   In fact, despite being half Vulcan, Quinto proves to be particularly empathetic in his interactions as he tries to soften the blow when an "alien abductee" who insists on a polygraph test fails it on every UFO abduction question -- or when delicately interviewing a man whose brother was killed when the family home was swallowed up by a giant sinkhole.

Even some of the episodes which delve into subjects in which I'm not particularly interested (such as Artificial Intelligence or SuperHuman Abilities) were surprisingly absorbing and held my attention.  On of these episodes, the aforementioned "Sinkholes", had no prior interest for me but proved to be oddly riveting.  The first series of the programme also includes episodes on "Monsters of the Deep", "Time Travel", "Mind Control", "Life After Death" and a two-parter on "Atlantis"; all of which I found quite interesting.  Oddly, the second series has none of the globe-trotting Zachary Quinto but instead features him only as narrator and in filmed intros and outros of the episodes.  I don't know if Quinto's schedule didn't allow him to actively take part in each episode as in series one, but his more traditional role does somewhat make the show seem more like another History Channel show and I rather missed that aspect of it.  I guess the personal touch was kinda nice.  Series 2 features all good episodes on such IN SEARCH OF... old favourites as "The Loch Ness Monster" (a two-parter), "The Lost Colony of Roanoke" and "The Bermuda Triangle" and is just as interesting as the first series.  Unfortunately, I don't see anything so far about a series 3.  As a lifelong lover of everything weird and unexplained, I certainly hope they'll eventually make another series because we all need mystery in our lives!