G'NIGHT CREEPS . . . AND A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

OCTOBER IS WINDING DOWN.  HALLOWEEN IS DRAWING TO A CLOSE.  SO TOO THIS YEAR'S COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN. 

I HOPE ALL OF YOU LITTLE BEASTIES HAD FUN THIS MONTH PLAYING AMONG THE AUTUMN LEAVES.  AS THE GOBLINS SLOWING CRAWL BACK INTO THEIR EARTHEN HOLES FOR ANOTHER YEAR, I WISH YOU ALL PLEASANT SCREAMS AND A HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

THE GIANT GILA MONSTER {1959}

 "I DEMAND A SOBERTY TEST!" 

Yeah, so do I for rewatching this one.  The occasion was the recent super-duper remastered blu ray released of THE GIANT GILA MONSTER double-featured with THE KILLER SHREWS by the awesome new company Film Masters.  Now, I'm just a tiny lil potato in this pumpkin patch of horror and receive no freebies from anybody but Film Masters is a great boutique label you just have to check out.  On a mission to release sparkling new transfers of old favourites they have restored to 4K scans (on blu ray) and their first release is absolutely stunning!  Who knew what the world needed was a restoration of a Ray Kellogg double feature?!?!?!?  Kellogg directed both GILA and SHREWS and no one and their mother would've ever expected to see these films look and sound as good as they do here!  I don't know if it's the beautiful new version or not but this viewing bumped up my rating of THE GIANT GILA MONSTER up a half-a-point! So enough of the unsolicited (but sincere) commercial for Film Masters and on to the movie.

An obvious old horror chestnut I've seen several times before, THE GIANT GILA MONSTER concerns the budding singing career of young Chase Winstead who is a grease monkey by day and a rock & rollin' singer/songwriter by night.  OK, the film is REALLY ostensibly about a giant gila monster attacked some people but really it's about forging a singing career for Don Sullivan aka Chase Winstead who seems to be being groomed here in a similar manner to Arch Hall Jr. in WILD GUITAR et. al.  To be fair (to be faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrr), Sullivan is a likeable singer who very well could've had a successful late-50's/early 60s teen idol career and I'm all for him . . . . until he sings that 'Laugh, Children, Laugh' song which is so NOT rock & roll and cringingly we hear TWICE during the movie!!!!  Thankfully, Sullivan's second rendition is interrupted by the giant gila monster crashing through the wall of a barn.  Oh yeah, that gila monster.  Let's get back to him and/or her. 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Cute!

A necking couple in a hot rod start the movie off by getting offed by said giant gila monster.  Roll credits.  When the young couple are reported missing, the assumption is that they ran off to get married.  They did not.  They be in the belly of the gila!  Various other people during the movie end up becoming gila monster tapas too.  A drunken disc jockey named Steamroller Smith (Ken Knox) is run off the road by a big black and pink thing and Chase tows the drunk DJ's car into the garage where Steamroller sleeps it off.  Chase has a French girlfriend named Lisa for no other reason then they cast French actress Lisa Simone in the part.  Chase's boss brings a crate of nitro glycerin into the garage for some reason I can't really recall.  Chase has a paraplegic little sister named Missy (Janice Stone) because . . . well, I assume it's to give him an excuse to sing 'Laugh, Children, Laugh' to her as she tries to walk with the new leg braces Lisa bought her and also to appear in even MORE mortal danger when she goes over a neighbour's house to spend the night and the giant gila monster attacks it.  The movie is full of weird, unnecessary details like this.  I mean, there's no reason why she had to go to somebody else's house to be endangered by the monster; she could've just as easily stayed at home and the gila monster could've attacked THAT, right?  But who cares.  As I said, this viewing made me increase my rating to 3 stars outta 5 because it's just so dopey and likeable.  Don Sullivan is a pleasant leading man whose singing (besides the "Laugh, Children, Laugh" song) is enjoyable enough.  And while the film doesn't feature much in the way of horror action or monster attacks, I'm STILL not really mad at it.  A dumb little 74 minutes that goes by pretty painlessly.  

PACTO DIABOLICO (1969) aka PACT WITH THE DEVIL

 OTHERWISE KNOWN AS "DIABOLICAL PACT" (ON IMDB) OR "PACT WITH THE DEVIL" ON LETTERBOXD! 

Personally, I think I like the latter title better but neither really tell what the movie is about.  There is no Satan or pact with the devil going on here; only in the broadest sense that a mad scientist is doing naughty things.  The lazy way would be to call it a Mexican "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde" and it certainly is that to a certain extent but there's actually a lot more involved here. 

The film opens with good ole John Carradine sitting at his desk and introducing himself as John Carradine who will be playing the part of Dr. Halback in the movie that follows.  It's always good to see ole John Carradine in a movie (and any movie you watch before 1989 there's probably a 70% chance he'll pop up in it somewhere!).  The print of the film which I watched is dubbed into Spanish so you don't actually HEAR John Carradine's melifluous tones but there he is!  Dr. Halback is working on a 'fountain of youth' serum which will reverse the aging process and give people basically eternal youth.  He's ticked off that all his knowledge and experience will disappear when he croaks but, if he could be eternally young, he could keep working on his scientific experiments for the benefit of all mankind.  Of course, it looks to me like he's only in it for the benefit of all Halback-kind.  Unfortunately for all the young starlets in the movie, Halback can only get his needed ingredient from the eyeballs of . . . well . . . young starlets.  Of course, scooping them out results in them becoming quite deaded but all for the progress of mad science. 

Halback distills his formula and drinks it -- giving Carradine the chance to offer a lite version of John Barrymore's transformation scene in the 1920 DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE.  He's kept to the shadows pretty much after the first transformation but we see him don a typical 'Mr. Hyde' cape and top hat and go on his merry way.  Before his transformation, Dr. Halbeck tells his butler Doyle (Guillermo Zetina) that he's expecting his nephew Fredrick Halback to come and stay and he wants him treated exactly like Dr. Halback i.e. every order Fredrick gives is to be obeyed.  Sounds a lot like Dr. Jekyll's instructions about Mr. Hyde.  There's a good reason for that.  Dr. Halback's ward/adopted daughter DiNora (Regina Torné) is also coming to stay and her name is actually DiNora JEKYLL; that's right, the real Dr. Jekyll's daughter whom Dr. Halback took in as a young child.  Halback actually makes reference to the whole Jekyll/Hyde story and states that Jekyll's main failure was in fact . . . . Mr. Hyde . . . . and Halback won't make the same mistakes Jekyll did.  So old Dr. Halback (Carradine) changes into young 'nephew' Fredrick Halback (Miguel Ángel Álvarez) who promptly takes control of the house while his 'uncle' is away.  Naturally, the formula doesn't simply make one young and soon Fredrick is growing hairy, clawed hands and transforming into a 'Hyde'-type monster!  Hunky Alfonso Bennett (Andrés García) us DiNora's fiancee and cramps Fredrick's style by always hanging around.  Fredrick still manages to go on a killing spree; including offing the required tarty music hall singer required by law to be in every Jekyll/Hyde adaptation. 

The ending of the film is a little sedate but quite acceptable and the movie as a whole was a whole lot better than I was expecting it to be.  Jekyll/Hyde stories are admittedly not at the top of my horror faves but this one held my interest and had just enough differences/additions to the plot to make it super enjoyable.  Director Jaime Salvador kept things lively and interesting throughout and, if he made any other horror films, I'd like to see them.  The cast also was a notch above the usual; not only Carradine giving it a bit more than his usual but also the Mexican actors were noteworthy as well.  Alvarez was suitably slimy, cold and evil as young Fredrick Halback and I didn't even miss John Carradine when Alvarez was on screen.  Leading lady Regina Torné and our male hero Andrés García were also incredibly likeable and thankfully lacked the insipidity and blandness such parts are prone towards making me really root for them.   Oh yeah, and don't lets those stills fool you because it's a colour film and, in fact, the print I watched has a nice muted colour palette which I thought looked pretty nice!   This one is really highly recommended by me, gang, and I never expected I'd like it so much!  

SCREAM (1981)

 "HEY ANDY, IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?" 

Oh, I could make all sorts of jokes about the 1981 slasher "SCREAM" but everybody else has already beaten me to it.  Yes, it IS the most boring slasher film ever made.  Yes, it is probably the most boring FILM ever made full stop.  Yes, the music for a so-called horror film sounds like something out of 1980's sitcom "GIMME A BREAK". 

Yes, there are some killings but they all seem to happen off screen.  Yes, even with the kills, it can still be accurately said that nothing at all happens.  Yes, there are incredibly long tracking shots/dolly shots which don't have any function and don't payoff in anything at all.  Yes, the entire cast spends the movie walking around and sitting down and standing up and sitting down and lying down and standing up.  Yes, even when the rare occurrence of something happening happens, it's pretty unclear what exactly just happened and it STILL feels like nothing happened.  Yes, this is Byron Quisenberry's only directorial effort and yes there's a damn good reason for that!  Yes, Pepper Martin appears in this film and yes he was the guy who beat the snot out of Clark Kent in the diner after he lost his superpowers in SUPERMAN II and yes he does nothing even close to an action scene here -- other than that scene where he paces and smokes a cigarette and tells a woman to stuff it. 

Yes, the great Woody Strode appears briefly in the film along with Hank Worden -- two famous members of John Ford's stock company who appeared in everything from SERGEANT RUTLEDGE to THE SEARCHERS to ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST to STAGECOACH to RED RIVER to THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE.  And yes, there's no way in hell that they would appear in this movie other than the fact that John Wayne's son Ethan Wayne also stars in the picture and you CAN'T tell me they didn't do it as a favour!  Woody ambles into the ghost town at night on a horse, sits down with his dog and proceeds to give his "I was a sailor once" speech while smoking his pipe; honest to God it's the only time when the film fights for my attention and that's only because Woody Strode is speaking and he's freakin' awesome and could read the phone book and I'm all in.  A sea captain gave Woody a pocket watch the first time he sailed the 'Horn'; luckily Woody didn't have to store it in his butt for years.  And then he's gone.  Rides away.  All too soon.  Taking all our hopes for the movie with him!  Yes, all attempts at comedy are woefully unamusing (including the appearance of an overweight guy who supposedly is supposed to be funny BECAUSE he's "fat"!).  An attempt at a synopsis of the film would be to say that a group of uninteresting, personality-less people go on a nature hike/river-rafting/outdoorsy type of thing and end up in an Old West ghost town.  Once there, they don't do much of anything and an unseen killer kills them in unseen ways.  Without any attempt at suspense or fright involved.  Suffice it to say that, when the Brady Bunch went to an Old West ghost town it was MUCH scarier and when Mystery Incorporated drove the Mystery Machine into an Old West ghost town it had MUCH more action! 

Oh wait, there is ONE scene of terror -- at the very beginning of the film -- when the most gruesome figures on a mantelpiece are decapitated.  Again, off camera.  These porcelain (?) figurines are of a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker (which apparently was at one time the title of this film) and no, it doesn't make any real sense either.  As I said at the beginning, so many people have cast asparagus at this film that it's a little like shooting ducks in a barrel.  It's perhaps not fair to kick a film when it's flat on the canvas but SCREAM never at any point even tries to attempt to rise up from the canvas.  It just lays there.  Like a mackerel.  

PSYCHOMANIA (1973)

THE FILM THAT KILLED GEORGE SANDERS. 

OK, probably not but the legend is that after seeing a rough cut of the movie, Sanders went home and committed suicide.  Apparently that's a lot of bushwallop because Sanders was apparently out of the country when the film was edited together.  But anyway, I'm sure starring in this movie didn't help his disposition any.  PSYCHOMANIA is a movie that I've owned for years on DVD but didn't get around to watching until this year; and I didn't even WATCH the DVD I owned but instead got the wonderful Arrow blu ray to watch.  Yep, horror maniacs represent.  So yeah, this wacky film is kinda a loveable mess.  Not a good movie by any means but one which I really took a shine to anyway.  It's the early 1970's so that's a huge point in its favour.  It's got a bunch of English bikers who kinda sorta maybe turn into a Satanic cult.  Points points points.  It's got the superb George Sanders and Beryl Reid.  Beaucoup points there!  It's got Nicky Henson (whom I know most from both ABSURD PERSON SINGULAR and as the 'cool guy' in an episode of FAWLTY TOWERS) being buried sitting on his motorcycle. Upright.  In the grave.  Sitting on his motorcycle. 

This is horror fried gold right here!!!!  So what's all this about?  Well, there's a really nasty biker gang terrorizing England.  They call themselves 'The Living Dead' and they go around causing destruction and mayhem. 

Tom Latham (Nicky Henson) is their leader and his mother (Beryl Reid) is apparently some sort of cultist who encourages her son Tom to kill himself; if he truly believes in their demonic master than he will be resurrected and live eternally.  But only if he really believes at the point of death.  Well, Tom tries to convince the biker gang -- who aren't too sure about this -- and promptly offs himself.  The gang asks permission to bury Tom and Mrs. Latham and Shadwell the butler (George Sanders) are all for it.  Shadwell turns up at the funeral (where Tom is buried upright sitting on his motorcycle) and the butler asks to place a frog medallion in the grave before they fill it with earth.  This he does and this they do. 

Later, Tom bursts out of the grave riding his motorcycle; scattering dirt and terrifying a passerby.  Hmmm, I wonder if Richard Corben got the idea for Meat Loaf's 'Bat Out of Hell' album cover from this movie???  I'd say so.  When the gang sees that Tom has indeed returned from the grave just as he said he would, the members of the gang all fall over themselves to commit suicide and, before you can say road leathers, they all come back from the dead and are even nastier than before.   mean, at one point a resurrected female bikers offs a baby in a supermarket!  So all the gang has died and returned from the grave.  All except Tom's girlfriend Abby (Mary Larkin) who is still unwilling to kill herself.  However, Tom isn't really going to take no for an answer.

This is such a bonkers concept that, no matter how well (or not well) the movie pulls it all off, it's almost irresistible to we horror maniacs, innit?  Denis Gilmore (who plays the ginger gang member 'Hatchet') actually appeared in VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED as one of the creepy kids along with George Sanders in 1960!  Interviews with the cast members are revealing including Mary Larking's slightly terrifying experience with a rather chilly Beryl Reid and Nicky Henson's story about the team providing George Sanders with a director's chair with his name on the back and the name being mispelled as 'George Saunders".  No wonder the poor guy killed himself!  And how the hell is June Brown (Dot Cotten) in this movie and I didn't notice her?!?!?!?!  I mean, she plays the mother of one of the biker gang goils and I just watched the damn movie and I didn't notice her?!?!?!?!  I mean, I noticed John Levene (DOCTOR WHO'S Sgt. Benton) playing a constable so how they hell did I miss June Brown?!?!?!  Sheesh.  Oh well, back to the film.  At the very least, it's a helluva lot of fun if not a superb motion picture.  But for me, PSYCHOMANIA is a stupid but fun winner.   

SHARKSPLOITATION (2023)

CHOMP CHOMP, BITCHES!!! 

Ooops, sorry, that was my battle cry for last April's booktube challenge when I was on the Blue Barracuda team.  But hey, it applies here for this really great documentary which debuted on Shudder this past summer.  Perfect for summer viewing and that's when I first watched it but there's NEVER a bad time to watch a doc on wacky JAWS rip-off shark horror movies.  Is there?  This here doc shows the history of sharks in folk culture, mythology and finally the movies with the early silent film depictions to things like THE SEA BAT (1930) all the way up to the first summer blockbuster that was JAWS

and all the JAWS rip-offs that followed ending with the current spate of absolutely ridiculous shark movies kicked into the stratosphere with the Asylum's SHARKNADO and beyond.  You just can't beat wacky sharksploitation horror movies and I've watched several this year before this documentary even came out;

stuff like SHARKULA and SHARKS OF THE CORN and even PUPPET SHARK (some of which I talk about in this very Halloween Countdown already!).  The really REALLY nice part about this documentary is not only the coverage of things like ORCA (not a shark but adjacent) and MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH but there are also marine biologists who are also sharksploitation horror movie fans who give on camera interviews about the true facts of sharks as well as their fave horror shark flicks. 

Marine biologist & horror fan Vicky Vásquez

Horror scholars and experts like Dr. Emily Zarka are on board as well as filmmakers like Roger Corman, Joe Dante, Mario van Peebles and the Sharknado auteur Anthony C. Ferrante and beloved schockmeister Mark Polonia. 

That scamp Joe Dante

Wendy Benchley, conservationist and widow of JAWS novelist Peter Benchley has a lot of on screen time and that's wonderful!  She's a joy. 

Wendy Benchley

Joe Alves, who worked on the first three JAWS movies is on hand too. 

Joe Alves & Bruce

I mean, there's a ton to love about this documentary.  If there is one tiny quibble I have with the documentary, it's that it may go on a tad too long at the end where it drops all the movie talk and veers more heavily into the conservation aspect which, while I'm totally on board with conservation, I think it would've been better sprinkled throughout the doc instead of in one big lump at the end.  That aside, no horror fan/sharksploitation wacko can afford to miss this movie.  You've probably all seen it already but I had to wait until the Countdown to Halloween to talk about it . . . . so go watch it again!!!!  Or you just might get bit!

DARK AUGUST (1976)

 "ACCORDING TO LESLEY AND HER BUBBLE GUM CARDS, I'M GONNA NEED A PRIEST!" 

Included in Arrow's second "American Horror Project" box set, it's taken me this long to get to this one and I'm glad I did. 

The one phrase seemingly bandied about mostly about this film is 'slow burn' and that's true.  Of course, this is a good thing.  There is a difference between boring and a slow burn and this is the latter.  Sal Devito (J.J. Barry) accidentally hits a young girl with his car and kills her.  The death is found to be accidental and Sal is found not guilty; however, the girl's grandfather Mr. McDermott (William Robertson) is not so forgiving.  The grandfather pulls out all his hoodoo occult paraphernalia and calls up a demon to put a death curse on ole Sal.  Sal starts seeing not only the grandfather seemingly everywhere he goes giving him the side eye but also sees a spooky hooded figure hanging around the woods and environs of the property. 

Sal's girlfriend Jackie (Carolyne Barry) go over to their friends' house to have a nice evening.  Friend Lesley (Kate McKeown) happens to read Tarot cards and asks to read Sal's.  Lesley sees stuff in the cards relating to the grandfather's animosity and the young girl's death as well as a woman whose advice Sal must take if he wants to end to dark forces swirling around him.  This woman is Adrianna Putnam (the great Kim Hunter) and she is rumoured to be a witch.  Adrianna offers advice and counter-spells to Sal in the hopes of ridding himself of the evil influence.  But in helping Sal, Adrianna is making herself known to the demon forces as well.

DARK AUGUST is definitely a folk horror film in my opinion and would've been right at home in Severin's recent folk horror box set.  The original curse brought down by the grandpa -- who is an obvious practioner of folk magick -- as well as the occult ritual performed by Adrianna Putnam I think place it squarely into that subgenre.  I also got strong vibes of LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH while watching DARK AUGUST but that's probably less my own idea than an opinion of the film I read in a fairly recent issue of "Drive-In Asylum" in a review of DARK AUGUST.  The acting by all concerns is pretty good with Kim Hunter (obviously the only big star here) and J.J. Barry pulling out the best acting overall.  It's a little bewildering that this low budget, independent film managed to snag such a spectacular, Oscar-winning actor such as Kim Hunter to be in their film. 

During the ritual scene, some of the "occult language" can sound a little bit silly but Hunter plays it completely straight and gives it the weight and authority it needs.  By all accounts, Kim Hunter was actually fully supportive of the film and was behind it all the way; even appearing in a press conference (a rare thing for a small regional horror film) in order to bring attention to the project.  J.J. Barry is an actor I've seen here and there but can't really remember where; in DARK AUGUST he brings an emotional depth and intensity to the part of Sal that really carries the film.   J.J. Barry and Carolyn Barry (here billed as Carole Shelyne) were married in real life and both wrote the screenplay along with director Martin G. Goldman (who helmed the Fred Williamson vehicle THE LEGEND OF NIGGER CHARLEY 4 years earlier) so the trio were responsible for most of the film from written page to in front of AND behind the camera.  This is the film the obviously wanted to make and there is a sense, even for a regional independent film, of knowing exactly what they were doing here. Cinematography by Richard E. Brooks is exceptional and really showcases the "road less travelled" location of Stowe, Vermont.  While there's not a lot of outright spooky atmosphere, the psychological unease can be felt throughout. 

And that robed and hooded figure (the demon, by all accounts) hanging around the woods gives me vibes of both "Cousin Creep" -- the revived monster from THE CREEPING FLESH -- and the cat from the British public service short "THE SPIRIT OF DARK AND LONELY WATER".  There's no beating a spooky, hooded figure looming about.  And being a seventies flick, it has the 'required by law' downbeat ending.  The entire film strikes a very low key note all the way through and this is deliberate and necessary to tell the tale it's telling.  If you have an attention span (which is all the more rare with people as each year goes by, I'm afraid), I think you'll find, like I did, that this is a quiet little horror gem.

DELIRIUM (1979)

 NOW LET'S KNOCK A PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN VIDEO NASTY OFF THE BOARD!

  Yep, here's a video nasty I hadn't managed to see until now and, like many of the movies of the Video Nasties list, one wonders why the hell DELIRIUM was on the list.

Filmed in St. Louis, Missouri by Greek-born director Peter Maris, DELIRIUM was marketed pretty much as a slasher film when the genre hadn't really established itself yet (besides the phenomenal success of John Carpenter & Debra Hill's HALLOWEEN ) but it's more like a hodgepodge of a bunch of different genres stapled together.  Things start off very slashery with a gruesome murder of a woman through a closed door with a spear by a psycho Vietnam vet named Charlie (Nick Panouzis).  The victim is discovered by her roommate Susan Norcross (Debi Chaney) and cops Paul Dollinger (Turk Cekovsky) and Larry Mead (Terry Tenbroek) are brought in to solve the case.  Charlie was discharged from serving 2 years in Vietnam on what used to be called a Section 8 and escaped from a mental institution a while ago. 

He's been murdering at random ever since.  However, there are some other murdered people who, it turns out, have something in common.  They were all arrested for crimes which they were freed on a technicality; then they turn up dead  -- apparently suicides.  Larry and Susan quickly become sweet on each other and Susan tells the cops that a guy named Charlie took her roommate home and probably killed her.  Charlie earlier had applied for a job with her boss Mr. Andrews (Bob Winters) so he probably has a application on file with all Charlie's info.  Dollinger and Mead go see Andrews who says he has no information because Charlie had no references so he didn't have him fill out an application.  The cops smell something fishy.  Turns out, Andrews and a 'council' of other men belong to a secret society which kills criminals who were set free on technicalities.  This 'council' is chaired by a shaved-head, shades-wearing Eric Stem (Barron Winchester) who must CERTAINLY get his look from the same year's APOCALYPSE NOW because he looks like a skinnier Kurtz here.  Andrews daughter was killed by one of the perps who turns up an apparent suicide.  The society uses former Vietnam vets whose cheese fell off their crackers years ago to do the killing and Charlie is one of those psycho killers that is now loose.

DELIRIUM is really only about 25% horror/slasher movie and 75% cop show from the 1970's.  There are very strong COLUMBO or THE ROCKFORD FILES vibes going on here and frankly I enjoyed the hell out of that.  After all, it's a 1970's movie and there's nothing better than the 1970's.  The 70's cars the size of boats, the wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide neckties, the gorgeous sun dress our heroine Debi Chaney wears to trail after the bad guy, the funky Hammond organ/synth score . . . . it's all sheer perfection.  I might even like the 70's cop show scenes better than the 'horror' scenes!  How's THAT for wackiness?!?!?!!!  The acting and directing are surprisingly good for such a low-budget, Missouri-set movie and it truly held my interest all through the film.  It's all just off-centre enough to be continuously interesting with horror/slasher tropes melding with the 70's/80's trope of psycho Vietnam vets on the rampage and 1970's TV cop shows all keeping my attention. 

As always, I have a helluva lot more time for THIS kind of movie than big budget studio blockbusters and I can forgive a lot -- such as the Vietnam War flashback in which telephone poles are clearly visible behind the combatants or the continuous use of the MASTERMIND (if you're British, you know that TV show) theme music throughout the movie.  DELIRIUM was surprisingly better than I expected it to be and not in the way I expected; I was grooving on the 1970's detective TV show action and that was good enough for me.  However, there are some really good kills/gore FX going on here by Bob Shelley which I think will satisfy any horror movie fan too.  There's the aforementioned spear through the door (and through the woman's chest) scene as well as a pitchfork kill and a 'meat cleaver to the long-haired hippy' kill too which all look pretty good.  DELIRIUM has an alternate title of "PSYCHO PUPPET" which actually is really a better title since that's what Charlie is; a killer 'manchurian candidate' being controlled by this 'Kurtz'-looking guy who we find out by the end of the movie isn't wrapped any too tightly himself. All in all, I really kinda like this one.      

THE SEVENTH GRAVE (1965)

 HOW DO YOU SAY "ODD DUCK" IN ITALIAN?

  Shot in February and March of 1965 (when my bacon wasn't quite finished bakin'), "LA SETTIMA TOMBA" finally appears in a gloriously beautiful B&W print in the recent Severin box set "Danza Macabra Volume One:  The Italian Gothic Collection"

and the film is at once a misfire and extremely interesting while sorta kinda dull.  If those handful of contradictions are confusing, then good . . . . because THE SEVENTH GRAVE is confusing.  The film certainly belongs in the Severin box set because it's certainly very gothic and very Italian; even as the opening title card reads "Old Scotland" as our film's location.  The plot isn't what I'd call original.  A group of people arrive by coach at a village inn (the Rooster Inn, old cock!), on their way to the local sinister castle for a reading of the will of the late Sir Reginald Thorne.  Barmaid tells the group that the castle is evil and creepy and they should stay away from it -- then promptly bums a ride with them as the girl is working at the castle that evening.  The group is met at the castle by a notary with the will in hand safely under lock and key.  The notary also informs the group that Sir Francis Drake hid his treasure somewhere in the castle grounds. 

The group takes a tour of the castle and discovers everything from a prison cell with a chained-up skeleton still hanging in it, a mad scientist-like laboratory and the family tomb. 

At some point, the will goes missing.  At another point, the corpse of Sir Reginald goes missing from its coffin.  At yet another point, the group stages a seance (since one of the group conveniently is a medium) to see if they can get her spirit guide to tell them where the treasure be at.  And at most points in the movie, someone will suddenly go missing and the rest of the group will traipse through the darkened halls by candlelight searching until the missing person suddenly turns up -- then another person will go missing and rinse repeat.  Oh yes, and then the killings start.

If all of this sounds a lot like THE CAT AND THE CANARY or countless other 1930's old dark house/reading of the will movies . . . . well, that's been pointed out by pretty much anyone who's seen this film so I don't need to elaborate.  In that sense, THE SEVENTH GRAVE seems very very old-fashioned for something made smack dab in the middle of the 1960's when Italian horror was full of gialli.  And that's where the oddness comes in.  For yes, this film IS very old-fashioned in its plot and seems like it's a much older movie than 1965.  However, then suddenly the film will burst it's staid old bonds and some quite violent bit of business will occur which immediately convinces that this is indeed a mid-sixties movie.  And this happens just often enough to make me very interested in the goings-on here.  Now, don't get me wrong -- there's nothing I like better than a black and white movie featuring nightgown-clad women wandering endlessly through the night down darkened corridors holding a lighted candle. I love that shit and have an enormously high tolerance for it.  And as I said before, the film looks stunning and all these scenes are rapturously sumptuous-looking (even if they apparently had a tiny little budget).  The sets, to me, looks really good.  And the location shooting of the Castle Balsorano standing in for the old Scottish castle looks stunningly good; some of the exterior 'tour through the grounds' shots reminded me of DEMENTIA 13's location for some reason.  THE SEVENTH GRAVE was only seen, if at all, in horrible quality tapings off the telly which were almost unwatchable but this new Severin box set gives us a gorgeous print that shows off cinematographer Aldo Greci's mastery of B&W gothic horror.  This is the kind of horror film I just eat up and is perfect for watching at night with all the lights turned off and only the flickering, silvery glow washing over the room in which you're watching.  The film is the one and only feature film of director Garibaldi Serra Caracciolo; although this wasn't known until fairly recently as the credit on the film itself is to somebody called 'Finney Cliff'. 

The mystery identity of this film's director was because Caracciolo had worked in the film industry during Mussolini's fascist era and Caracciolo unfortunately thought fascism was a pretty good thing.  So, he couldn't use his own name on any of the projects he did in the post-war period.  As a director, Caracciolo isn't very good and he never got the chance to really learn on the job since he died two years after completing THE SEVENTH GRAVE.  The cast consists of second stringers like Antonio Casale (who died memorably in THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY), Germana Dominici (who appeared in Mario Bava's BLACK SUNDAY), Gianni Dei (who besides acting also tried his hand as a pop star) and Nando Angelini (who appeared in IL SORPASSO as well as sleazefest BLOODY PIT OF HORROR with Mickey Hargitay).  All the actors here do a very good job bringing life and interest to their various characters as if they all realise they have snagged probably the biggest parts they're ever likely to get and give it their all.  Each actor gives their character a distinctness and likeability that lifts them all above faceless cannon fodder for a killer.  So yes, while THE SEVENTH GRAVE is no great shakes, I have a warm spot for it now having seen it.  I enjoyed it vastly more than I expected to.  While I realise most people will probably be bored with it and label it a bottom-of-the-barrel crapfest, for me THE SEVENTH GRAVE is a cozy little odd duck of a movie which plays like a 30's old dark house movie with sudden bursts of giallo.  And that I can kinda get down with.

TERROR AT TENKILLER (1986)

"NO, IT'S A LITTLE FUNNY BUT I'M NOT REALLY SCARED AT ALL." 

That could be said for the movie, too.  One time director Ken Meyer directs an 80's no budget slasher with not much slashing but a whole lot of somnambulistic dialogue read by our cast as if they were ordering take-out on the phone. 

Stacey Logan plays Leslie who has a jerk, violent boyfriend named Josh (Kevin Meyer -- nepotism possibly???) whose friend Janna (Michele Merchant) takes her to her father's cabin on Lake Tenkiller to get away from it all.  What they get away from is any semblance of a horror film.  The ladies chat about how cold but refreshing the lake water is and how boyfriends are jerks and how Tor (Michael Shamus Wiles) needs to go into town tomorrow to get a part for the hose that broke on their boat.  Oh wait, there's also a gripping 'setting the answering machine' scene!  And a dirty old man character named Preacher (Dale Buckmaster) who's really the funnest character in the film!  A nice practical effect DOES happen when our killer saws someone's arm off with a machete.  Now, our killer is no mystery as he is shown almost from the start of the film when he kills a woman in a hot tub (very dully).  I'll refrain from revealing who the killer is although it's no secret.  I guess this is in order to bring some sense of mystery or suspense to a movie which has absolutely none!  This is a really terrible movie!  So why don't I hate it?  Because I don't.  It's just so dopey and dull and stupid that I can't get mad at it.  Also, there's something almost soothing about the sleepwalker-like performances by absolutely EVERYONE in the film which lulled me into some sort of tolerance and acceptance for the whole thing. 

It's absolutely the quietest horror movie I've ever seen!!!  Who can forget the immortal scene where Leslie and Janna are working in the diner and there's absolutely not a customer in sight and Janna asks if Leslie wants breakfast and Leslie doesn't but she's fine with just a glass of water!  There really never IS a customer seen anywhere near this diner and I can't imagine why because behind Janna is a menu up on the wall and it says they serve Frito Chili Pie so why the hell ain't that diner packed?!?!?!  You don't get scenes like this in every movie!  How 'bout the lake scene when Janna puts on her bikini (which is about two sizes to big for her, btw) and before jumping into the lake, says outloud to herself "Oh, this is gonna be GREAT!".  I mean, this CAN'T be ad-libbed; it must've been in the script because it's so dopey!  As she's swimming, it almost immediately starts to rain and Janna says "Darn it, it WOULD have to rain!" and gets out of the water -- presumable so she doesn't get wet (!?!?).  And then she sits on the dock looking dreamy.  In the rain.  For a good while.  This is fried gold. And don't get me started on the endlessly repeated harmonica version of 'Beautiful Dreamer'!!! 

 I mean, there's that scene where Leslie takes a nap and Tor comes around to tell Janna he needs to get a part in town tomorrow and Janna offers Tor a beer and Tor sits down in his EXTREMELY short cut-off jean shorts and I can't help but be drifting off into some sort of dream-state while watching this movie.  I mean, even the murders (when they happen) aren't jolting but somehow keep the quiet, zoned-out tone of the film going.  Really, there is not ANY attempt to generate atmosphere or suspense or scares at all and I'm struggling with myself not to give this film a 5 out of 5.  Please someone, help me come to my senses before I watch TERROR AT TENKILLER again and again and again . . . 

WAITING FOR GORGO (2010)

 "WE KEEP THE MONSTERS AWAY!"

  An absolutely lovely short film to warm the hearts of any Halloweeny horror fan.  Tucked away deep in the sub-basements of the British Ministry of Defence is the D.M.O.A.:  the Department of Monsters and Over-sized Animals.  Long forgotten, it's staffed by only two old men: 

Mr. Tunstall (Geoffrey Davies) and

Mr. Archibald (Nicholas Amer).  An auditor from the department Alexandra Collins (Kelly Eastwood) has noticed the two men appearing on the payroll during an audit and ventures down to find out what they do there. 

Turns out the two men are Britain's first line of defence against giant monster attack.  The D.M.O.A. was formed about a year or so after the attack of Gorgo on London.  Ms. Collins thinks the old men are dotty because monsters obviously don't exist and there CERTAINLY wasn't any kaiju attack on London or else she would have heard about it.  Dimly recalling her horror fan roommate having a DVD called GORGO, Ms. Collins informs the men that it was just a movie.  OF COURSE Gorgo is real, insist the two men and the fact that there hasn't been a giant monster attack since then is proof of the D.M.O.A.'s 100% success record.  Mr. Tunstall then remembers that yes, they DID make a film using actual footage of Gorgo in order to avoid widespread panic and convince everyone that it was just a movie.  "The thing to do," explains Mr. Tunstall, "is to pretend it never happened. . . .So everyone who remembered seeing the brouhaha with the army and the monster over time became convinced that they were just remembering having seen it at the pictures!". 

The short film is a three-hander with the three actors giving superb performances; Kelly Eastwood is heartfelt and patient trying to convince the old men that monsters aren't real while Davies and Amer are absolutely lovable and convinced that the poor young lady has fallen for the cover story.  Benjamin Craig directs beautifully here instilling the entire film with so much heart and love for the horror genre that you just can't miss seeing this!  The short film is included on this year's 4K deluxe edition Vinegar Syndrome put out as well as, I believe, it's found on vimeo.  GORGO the film is, to me, rather lackluster (I know this is a minority opinion but I don't like it that much -- I want to like it so much but just don't) but WAITING FOR GORGO is an instant classic!  See this without delay!