The Case of Mercy Brown and the Vampire Panic of New England

Paranormal Encounters on England's Roads

SCOOBYNATURAL

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY SCOOBY-DOO!  This year's Countdown to Halloween is also a celebration (and rightly so) of the 50th anniversary of The Haunted Mansion.  However, let's not forget that it's also the 50th anniversary of the debut of a certain gang of mystery-solving meddling kids; SCOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU? debuted in 1969 and those classic first two seasons are the pinnacle of cartoon goodness!  And while watching a bunch of Scooby episodes might seem the obvious thing to do, I thought instead I would watch the critically acclaimed and much-loved "Scoobynatural" episode of SUPERNATURAL from last year.

After Sam and Dean Winchester defeat a giant plush dinosaur that's come to life in a pawn shop, the owner rewards them by giving them a large screen TV.  When Dean sets the new TV up in his newly-outfitted "Dean Cave", a blizzard of purple sparks sucks them into the TV and suddenly they're cartoon characters.  When the drive to the nearest malt shop, they notice the Mystery Machine parked outside.  Inside at a table sit the entire Scooby gang and the Winchester brothers realize they're in a Scooby-Doo cartoon.  The genius of the episode is that they're in an actual existing Scooby-Doo episode:  "A Night of Fright is No Delight".   Which is this one:

with HIM . . . 

which finds the Scooby gang heading to the reading of Colonel Sanders' will.  As soon as Dean hears this, he realizes immediately exactly which episode of Scooby-Doo they're in -- he even names it!  Dean then points out to the Scooby gang that, since they are mystery-solvers just like them, they should come along with them to help solve the mystery.  Which of course they do.  However, because this is a Supernatural episode (animated or not), the ghost in this case is real.  And so are the gruesome murders which throw the Scooby gang for a loop since they still assume it'll turn out to be just some corrupt real estate developer as usual.  But nope, not this time!

Sam!  SAM!  Look how big my mouth is!!!

"SCOOBYNATURAL" is so highly thought-of because it works so well combining the two shows.  There is also a genuine love of Scooby-Doo on display which make this such a lovely experience.  The boyish glee Dean shows when he realizes he's face to face with the characters from his favourite TV show is just wonderful.  Plus, they somehow manage to stay true to the tropes of BOTH shows at the same time in the deft manner in which the episode is handled.  The writing as well as the direction of the episode are absolutely perfect in which the two TV shows are melded together like a fine Swiss watch!   Rewatching "SCOOBYNATURAL" is definitely going to be a yearly Halloween tradition for me!  I just LOVE this episode so much!

CRIMINALLY INSANE {1975}

"250 POUNDS OF MANIACAL FURY!"  Priscilla Alden.  The great and powerful!  All hail the queen of CRIMINALLY INSANE:  the shoestring budget 1975 classic directed by Nick Millard (SATAN'S BLACK WEDDING).  Where has this movie been all my life?!?  Doesn't matter.  I have it in my life now and there it shall stay!  Ethel Janowski (Priscilla Alden) is recently released from an insane asylum and goes back home to live with mother (Jane Lambert).  Ethel grouses about how they were trying to kill her in there by insisting she only eat a boiled egg and a slice of dry toast for a meal.  Mother insists they were doing it to help Ethel loses weight.  Why should she lose weight, Ethel demands.  "Because of your heart, dear" mother offers.  "My heart is just fine," Ethel retorts, "as long as my stomach's not empty!"  You tell her, Ethel!!!

Ethel wakes up in the middle of the night wanting a snack but finds all the kitchen cabinets have been locked.  Mother informs Ethel that from now on she will provide only reasonable meals until Ethel learns to control her eating.  That's not gonna fly with Ethel who promptly buries a knife into Mother's back and relieves her of the key.  After num-numming her well-deserved snack, Ethel drags Mother's bloody body up the stairs and into her bedroom and promptly locks it in.  Now Ethel is free to eat whatever and whenever she pleases.  All except for that pesky unpaid grocery bill.  When the delivery boy comes with her weekly grocery order and says that his boss needs $80 in unpaid grocery bills before Ethel gets her food . . . well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the delivery boy!  His body joins Mother in her bedroom.  Soon, Ethel's estranged sister shows up to stay for a while.  Sis is a bit of a ho, tho, and soon enough starts bringing her tricks back to the house.  All well and good, at least the money she makes will pay some bills.  And then Sis's abusive boyfriend/pimp shows up to stay.  And the bodies in Mother's bedroom are beginning to smell . . .

Sleazy and grimy as all get out, CRIMINALLY INSANE features a truly wonderful performance by Priscille Alden -- one of my all-time favourite horror performances, if I'm honest.  Far from being the villain, Ethel is the hero and the audience is with her all the way.  All the other characters are pretty unpleasant and Ethel is just so damn lovable . . . even when she's slicing up people!  What could be more relatable than Ethel's simple desire to be left alone and enjoy her meal?!?!?!  Truly one of my favourite films I've seen this year, CRIMINALLY INSANE is a film you just can't miss!

The 50 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen (FULL DOCUMENTARY)

Hollywood Graveyard - The HALLOWEEN Special

EC Comics Showcase #5: "The October Game" (Shock Suspenstories #9, June/...

BLACK ROSES (1988)

THIS TIME IT'S A HALLOWEEN MOVIE RECOMMENDATION BY ZIPPY THE CO-WORKER.  From the director of ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE and THE JITTERS John Fasano, comes this fun visit to hair metal 80's horror that's a yearly rewatch tradition by my co-worker Zippy.  Metal band Black Roses with frontman Damian (Sal Viviano -- also of THE JITTERS) seem to have the Devil as their manager.  They decide to play their first live show ever (!) outside the studio in a white-picket-fence community where the adults are conservative sticks-in-the-mud and the teenagers are all "yearning to be free" of the dull town.  John Martin plays their "with-it, hip and groovy" lit teacher who really connects with the "kids" and becomes what amount's to the movie's hero;  you can tell he's the hero because he has a Magnum P.I. mustache so how can he NOT be?!?! 

On the first night of Black Roses' performance, the uptight adults stay for about 3 minutes of the group's first song (an innocuous little ditty) and promptly leave.  Then Black Roses breaks out the metal.  Gee, those adults weren't TOO worried about the satanic music corrupting their kids, were they, if they only devoted about 3 minutes to it before deciding Black Roses were harmless!  One metal performance, however, turns the teens into demon-possessed killers.  Horror fans will find their hearts go pitter-pat with the inclusion of the late, great Julie Adams (from THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON) in the cast.  There are goofy rubber monsters galore in this terrible but extremely entertaining little 80's horror flick which seems to say Tipper Gore was right!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELA LUGOSI!

CHEERS!

LIFEFORCE {1985}

ON LETTERBOXD, WE LIKE TO DO A LITTLE FILM CHALLENGE CALLED "HOOPTOBER".  That is, to task ourselves to watch horror movies all throughout the month of October which fit certain categories i.e. "Watch a Finnish horror film" or "Watch a film that features Dwight Frye in the cast" etc. etc.  One of the cardinal rules of Hooptober, however, is you always have to watch at least one Tobe Hooper film.  This year, that Tobe Hooper film is one I've never seen before: LIFEFORCE.

The movie has a lot of the feel of QUEEN OF BLOOD and would make a great double feature with that one.  Based on Colin Wilson's 1976 novel THE SPACE VAMPIRES, LIFEFORCE has a joint British-American crew about the Churchill checking out the returning Halley's Comet.  The Churchill is captained by Carlsen (Steve Railsback) and filled with more British character actors than you can shake a stake at!  I seriously was playing "Which DOCTOR WHO episode did THAT character actor appear in" all through the movie!  It was wonderful!  So what's inside Halley's Comet, you ask?  Well, a huge spacecraft filled with dessicated bat creature corpses and three perfect humanoids in glass cases. 

Oh, and they're nude.  You should know going in that this movie is filled with a lot of nudie patooties running around.  Well, the Churchill is found floating in Earth orbit and is discovered to have been completely gutted by fire with the dessicated burnt corpses of all the crew inside - - and three unharmed perfect human-looking specimens in glass cases that haven't been touched.  The one female and two male bodies are taken to earth where the female quickly opens her eyes, sits up and sucks the life force out of a guy.  These vampires don't suck blood but the life essence out of a person.  Kinda rude.  However, the victim's still alive (though now a dried out husk) and now can suck the life force out of somebody else.  And on and on and on.  Not sounding too good for Planet Earth.

LIFEFORCE is one of a three-picture deal he made with Cannon Film (CANNON FILMS?!?!?!  YIKES!!!!) after his success with POLTERGEIST.  The other two were INVADERS FROM MARS and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 and I've sadly never seen those yet.  LIFEFORCE is a heckuva good time with enough twists to keep things interesting and a viewer going "What the hell was that?!?!?!"  This is a good thing.  If the film does kinda loose steam in the second half, it's still well worth watching.  

And hey, where else will you get to see Steve Railsback give Patrick Stewart a big smooch?!?

Fright Interesting: A Spooky QI Compilation

LETTERKENNY: THE HAUNTING OF MODEAN'S II

CAN'T SCARE ME!  YOU CAN TRY THOUGH!  'CAUSE THAT'S THE FUN OF IT!  My brand new yearly Halloween tradition:  watching the Halloween episode of the greatest TV show ever!  

5000 people in Letterkenny and you wanna know what their problem is?  Wayne.  Big league'n 'em.  Giving out full size chocolate bars for Halloween.  

Guess what.  Chicken butt!  Modean's II is haunted.  No it isn't.  Yes it is!  No it isn't!  Yes it is!  Uncle Eddie is haunting Modean's II.

Oh!  Bonnie McMurray! 

Mmm, tastes like a tragedy occurred while making breakfast.

Swipey Snipeys!  Accidental tunnel buddies.

Youse think this is an Indian haunting?  Youse watch too many shitty movies.  Youse do have a rich history of tomfuckery in this town and that can't be denied.  

It's a Beyoncé Seancé.

Sorry, that was the ghost of yesterday's dinner.

Y'wannaknowhat?  My friend Sean Amsing has a Halloween party in the city every year before Halloween and he calls it Premature Ejaculantern.

TENDER DRACULA {1974}

HERE'S YOUR ONE AND ONLY CHANCE TO SEE PETER CUSHING PLAY A VAMPIRE!  Sort of.  LA GRANDE TROUILLE aka TENDER DRACULA aka CONFESSIONS OF A BLOOD DRINKER is a 1974 French horror-comedy (!) directed by Pierre Grunstein (known for . . . . well, he never directed another movie).  Peter Cushing plays MacGregor, last of the big time horror stars, who is tired of playing in horror movies and wants to do only romantic films instead.  Macgregor retreats to his remote castle in a huff.  Or perhaps a minute and a huff.  Hey, that was funnier than anything that happens in this horror-comedy (!). 

The head of the studio/director/producer tasks two screenwriters (think French comedy duo like the Italian one that torpedoed DR. GOLDFOOT & THE GIRL BOMBS) with going to MacGregor's castle to convince him to make more horror movies.  The director also provides the screenwriters with two young good time girls (think the two leads of Jean Rollin's REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE) to go along for . . . . well, who knows why.  Logic is not a requirement for anything that happens in TENDER DRACULA.  When this goofy quartet arrives at MacGregor's castle they also meet his wife Heloise (played by Alida Valli !) and their brutish mute servant who is constantly (and clumsily) hacking bits of himself off with an axe!  MacGregor first appears in Lugosi-like Dracula garb with cape and fangs . . . and it readily becomes apparent that he may in fact be a REAL vampire.  

The movie has an early-70's bizarreness and trippy incoherence that, depending on your mood, you might be into.  Or not.  Character motivations change at the drop of a clove of garlic and the movie has a nightmare logic which should end with it "all having been a dream".  But it doesn't.  The comedy in this horror-comedy is abyssmal but thankfully it fades away about a third of the way through the film.  In fact, the last half hour or so is pretty serious with, at one point, Heloise carving her name into one of the screenwriter's legs with a knife! 

God knows what great Italian actress Alida Valli is doing here!  The star of SENSO as well as THE THIRD MAN, EYES WITHOUT A FACE, THE PARADINE CASE and SUSPIRIA does her best and provides a typically wonderful performance.  And Peter Cushing's presence is probably explained simply by the fact that he was, at this point, burying himself in work so as to ease the pain of his wife Helen's death.  Despite that fact, the only truly funny moments in the film are provided by Peter Cushing himself whose charm and witty line delivery elevates his scenes.  No way can I recommend this bizarre little misfire except for those who like acid trips in the guise of movies or for Cushing completists only.

ADDENDUM:  You will no doubt notice a comment from the nameless proprietor of the Peter Cushing Appreciation Society website accusing me of "blanking out" the watermark on the still above showing where I supposedly took the photo from.  In the interest of clarity, I'm providing a screencap showing not only that I didn't get it from the aforementioned website but also that the google searched photo is clearly already featuring the "blanked out" black bar. 

I would suggest that not only is every photo of Peter Cushing NOT the sole property of the Peter Cushing Appreciation Society website but also that it would probably be a good idea to get your facts straight before leaving pissy comments on blogs that are in fact genuinely trying to spread a love and appreciation of Peter Cushing, Halloween and horror films to a wider audience.

The Hour of The Witch - Gundella (1971)

Count Morbidia's Chamber of Horrors - Dynamite Magazine Flexi-Disc 1975