ROLLIN' SHORTIES READATHON BOOKS IN PLAY

 HERE IS THE SPOT WHERE I'LL POST MY PROGRESS ON THE ROLLIN' SHORTIES CHALLENGE.  As I said before, I'm cheating and reading "THE HERO WHO RETURNED".  Since the first book read was bespoke, I've done spun the wheel and rolled the die for the second story.  So here's what my progress will look like;  stories have not been read by me until they are marked as read.  Ya git me?

1. 
   "The Hero Who Returned" by Gerald W. Page from ISAAC ASIMOV'S MAGICAL WORLD OF FANTASY 4:  SPELLS / Read
   
   
   
2. "The Shifting Growth" by Edgar Jepson & John Gawsworth from THE THIRD PAN BOOK OF HORROR STORIES / READ 
   
   
   
3. "Grisly Rites of Hitler's Monster Flesh Stripper" by Jim McDonald  from WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH edited by Robert Deis & Wyatt Doyle.  READ. 
   
   
   
4. "The Choking Chalice" by Frank Gruber from IT'S RAINING MORE CORPSES IN CHINATOWN.  READ
   
   
   
5. "Soapsuds" by J.E. Grinstead from WESTERN STORIES SELECTED BY GENE AUTRY.  READ
   
   .
6. "The Naked & the Deadly" by Lawrence Block from THE NAKED AND THE DEADLY by Lawrence Block.  READ.
7. 
   "Hungarian Rhapsody" by Robert Bloch from PLEASANT DREAMS by Robert Bloch.   READ.
8. 

   "Bayamo's Night of Terror" by Don Hogan from CUBA:  SUGAR, SEX AND SLAUGHTER   READ.
9. 

   "Strange Journey" by Robert Leslie Bellem  from THE SURGEON OF SOULS by Robert Leslie Bellem  READ.
10. 
    "Crucifixus etiam" by Walter M. Miller Jr.  from A CENTURY OF SCIENCE FICTION 1950-1959.   READ.
11. 
    "Coffins Are For Corpses" by Robert Silverberg from MONSTERS AND THINGS by Robert Silverberg.  READ.
    
12. "My Sister is a Werewolf" by Jack Prelutsky from BEWARE by R.L. Stine.  READ.  But now, here's the controversy.  This is only a 1 page poem.  Who'da thunk R.L. Stine would throw a monkey toe into the whole shebang.  Now, do I leave it here and move on to the next story or. . . ONLY read stories so read the next following story in RL Stine's BEWARE???  UPDATE:  Well, the consensus (meaning Cheeks) is that if the die roll picked a poem, then a poem it shall be.  Moving on.

    
13. "The Noseless Horror" by Robert E. Howard from THE HORROR STORIES OF ROBERT E. HOWARD.  READ.
14. 
    

STORIES ON DECK

"The Man Who Liked Dogs" by Raymond Chandler from KILLER IN THE RAIN by Raymond Chandler.  Still To Be Read.

"The Glance" by Stefan Grabinski from THE DARK DOMAIN by Stefan Grabinski.  Still To Be Read.

"Young Goodman Brown" by Nathaniel Hawthorne from CLASSIC HORROR TALES from Canterbury Classics.  Still To Be Read.

"The Man From Alcatraz" by John K. Butler from AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT by John K. Butler.  Still To Be Read.

CYBORG 2087 (1966)

HAND ME THAT BEAMER!  

The thing that everybody who talks about this movie brings up is that it's basically the plot of TERMINATOR 2  -- whose first film in the series THE TERMINATOR is in itself is pretty much the plot of Harlan Ellison's 1957 short story "SOLDIER from Tomorrow" which itself was the story Ellison himself adapted for the "SOLDIER" episode of THE OUTER LIMITS.  Got all that.  So basically, if you know what happened in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY), you know what's happening in CYBORG 2087.  Dr. Garth (Michael Rennie himself, that silver-haired devil) --  a half-human/half-machine cyborg -- travels back to 1966 from a future time (2087 natch) when a tyrannical government controls the minds and thoughts of the entire population through the use of a mind-control device which is invented by a Professor Sigmund Marx (Eduard Franz) in the year 1966.  Garth is being sent back in time by his fellow freedom fighters in order to prevent Marx from discovering and revealing this new discovery which enables the evil government of the future to control the population utterly. 

The freedom fighters unfortunately pop Garth's time travel capsule into an old west ghost town; leaving Garth to make the trek to the town where Marx is located.  Sadly for Garth (and the entire future of Earth), Marx has gone away and won't be back until tomorrow.  Garth enlists the aide of Marx's assistant Dr. Sharon Mason (Karen Steele) by way of the same hypnotic device he's trying to prevent from being created. 

Garth fills her in on the skinny and reveals that, inside his chest, is a trace beamer (snicker snicker) which 'Tracers' from the future will be able to use to track him down and kill him.  He needs a surgeon to cut the device out of his chest and destroy it.  Meanwhile, two Tracer thugs (Dale Van Sickel and Troy Melton -- who must both be 60 years old if they're a day) pop into 1966 and start tracking Garth with their wrist compasses (I mean, that's not what they are but . . . well . . . that's what they are when the camera zooms in for a close-up).  These two helmeted, green-jumpsuit goons reminded me a lot of the 'firemen' outfits in FAHRENHEIT 451 but more goofy.  Sharon takes Garth to her friend Dr. Zeller (Warren Stevens) who is not an actual surgeon but still manages to cut the tracking device out of Garth's chest.  Meanwhile, Zeller's daughter and her mid-60's teenage friends (including John Beck -- Moonpie of ROLLERBALL -- show up at Zeller's house to frug the night fantastic!  Garth & Zeller head to the local power station to destroy the tracking beamer (chortle giggle) and the 'Tracer' goons show up at the house, bust down the door and smash through the window, silently menace the group and then follow the tracker beamer (hee hee hee) to the power station where they confront Garth. During all this, the local sheriff (Wendell Corey) is also tooling around town investigating the various assaults and break-ins going on.  What happens next is for me to know and you to find out.

CYBORG 2087 is not that much of a movie, granted.  It's quite silly in places but the plot was really effective in TERMINATOR 2 and since the plot here is basically the same thing, it's got THAT going for it.  Of course, there's no comparison with the execution of both films; CYBORG 2087 doesn't appear to have much of a budget.  Remember those camping compasses on the Tracers' wrists.  And, at 50 minutes in, you will here the same library music George A. Romero would use a couple years later for NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.  But the cast here is great.  Michael Rennie is, well, Michael Rennie; the immortal Klaatu himself and Karen Steele is excellent as well.  I know her mainly from her famous appearance in the STAR TREK episode "MUDD'S WOMEN".  I'm sure you will recognize her face immediately.  Warren Stevens (from FORBIDDEN PLANET), Harry Carey Jr. (from THE SEARCHERS and I don't know HOW many other Westerns) and Eduard Franz (Jethro from THE TEN COMMANDMENTS) are all terrific.  John Beck is unbelievably young here and kinda dopey but hey . . .he's Moonpie in ROLLERBALL so who cares!  Wendell Corey (from countless golden age of Hollywood films including REAR WINDOW) is obviously drunk as a skunk here; slurring his words and giving an odd but fun performance.  He would eventually die of cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 54.  There's even a brief cameo by Jo Ann Pflug (in her first film role) as "Woman in Control Room" who is the freedom fighter who ultimately sends Garth back in time as the Tracers bust in and try to stop her.  Yeah, Jo Ann!  You rock!  The hell with dem Tracers; they can't stop you on  your mission!  The look of triumph on her face is priceless! 

I mean, this cast is just priceless!  And the colour (at least in the Kino Classics blu ray I watched) was beautiful to look at.  This is one I woulda thunk I woulda seen a hundred times on Saturday afternoon UHF channels but I somehow never did!  And that's the kinda movie it is; great for an afternoon time waster; pleasant enough but nothing great.  Director Frankin Adreon was something of a jack of all trades -- going from screenwriter (the Bela Lugosi serial S.O.S. COAST GUARD and ZORRO'S FIGHTING LEGION) to associate producer (THE INVISIBLE MONSTER and ZOMBIES OF THE STRATOSPHERE) to director (CANADIAN MOUNTIES VS. ATOMIC INVADERS -- OMG how have I never seen THAT one???? -- and DIMENSION 5) and CYBORG 2087 is about on par with any of those outings.

Oh, and I guess it's about time I explained all those giggles everytime I mentioned the tracker beamer.  Well, in our household, a 'beamer' is what we call a tiny little bee-bee-sized turd that you find on the carpet which has fallen from the butt of a cat or dog.  So every time Michael Rennie said he word "beamer", it cracked me up.  

TRANCERS [1984]

 I don’t think there’s any question in anyone’s mind that this is Charles Band’s finest film as a director! 

Screenwriters Danny Bilson & Paul De Meo provide a top notch script and Band manages to translate it to the screen extremely well.  This, of course, owes a lot to the Top notch performances of the cast as well as the “do-a-lot-with-almost-nothing” special effects of John Carl Buechler.

  I especially love the ‘sunken Los Angeles’ shot that Band lovingly lingers on towards the start of the film.  I got strong vibes of THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN as well as those SPX in the BBC TV series THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY where the buildings wash up on the shore like ocean waves.  But, of course, there’s the pterodactyl in the room – the common misconception that TRANCERS was a rip-off of THE TERMINATOR and that’s actually not true.  For the first time in Charles Band’s career, he DIDN’T rip-off a popular movie of the time.  The script was completely written and filming was beginning while THE TERMINATOR was still filming and hadn’t been released yet.  Release date of THE TERMINATOR was October 26th, 1984 while the release date of TRANCERS was November 7th, 1984 (in the U.K.).  Even a ‘quick & cheerful’ outfit like Charles Band’s Empire Pictures couldn’t get a rip-off out THAT quickly!  Besides, as all genre fans SHOULD know, THE TERMINATOR itself was pretty much a ‘rip-off’ of Harlan Ellison’s episode of THE OUTER LIMITS entitled “Soldier” which aired back in 1964 based on the author’s 1957 short story.  THE TERMINATOR is identical to “SOLDIER” in every important way; as Ellison was pissed off about for years and years.  Granted, Harlan Ellison was usually pissed off about SOMETHING all the time but in this case he was correct in his pissy-ness.  So, if you wanna call something a rip-off, call THE TERMINATOR and TRANCERS both “inspired by” Harlan Ellison’s “SOLDIER”.

As for the film itself, the film Kim Newman calls ‘the greatest B-movie of the 1980s’, I stunningly never saw TRANCERS until just now.  And I (along with my doddy Cheeks) was a heavy consumer of Full Moon videotapes in the late 80’s/early 90’s when, I’m pretty sure, Full Moon released a VHS of TRANCERS under the Full Moon banner (because Charles Band wisely kept copyright to the film for himself).  I’ve seen others mention that they missed it at the time because it looks like straight science fiction and I was a horror guy.  This is probably the case for myself as well.  For some reason, I never felt compelled to give TRANCERS a rent.  Boy, what a stupid ass!  The film itself is jam-packed with great ideas (whether or not Ellison’s “SOLDIER” was an inspiration for the screenplay) as Kim Newman quite rightly suggests.  TRANCERS is just a hell of a good watch and towards the top of every nee EMPIRE now FULL MOON movie EVER in my humble humble.  Tim Thomerson is, as always, superb as Jack Deth;

playing it perfectly straight but with a naughty twinkle in his eye like the best private eye actors from the 40’s & 50’s the filmmakers here are so lovingly evoking.  Helen Hunt, just turned 21 and leaving her ‘kid actor’ career behind, is also fantastically warm and funny as Jack’s 20th century sidekick Leena.  I hope she is proud of her work in TRANCERS because it’s top notch and there is a great chemistry between her and Thomerson.  Art LaFleur as crusty cop McNulty is also lovable and at the top of his game.  Telma Hopkins as Jack Deth’s version of ‘M’ Ruth Raines is a welcome addition to the cast and does a great job too.  Veteran Hollywood actress Anne Seymour is a treat as Chairman Ashe playing it straight as an arrow and we even get a ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ cameo by Clu Gulager as a Mall security guard!  I love the ‘long second’ wristwatch and the zappy zap guns and the heavy use of neon lighting all through the picture.  I love the ‘thrown bottle’ much more than the ‘thrown rock’ in TO THE DEVIL—A DAUGHTER, that’s fer damn sure which evokes a strong BLADE RUNNER feel (which in this case was DEFINITELY a deliberate rip-off but lovable nonetheless).  This is just a terrific film I’ll be rewatching and rewatching in the years to come!  And I couldn’t end this without reminding you that dry hair is for squids!  

DOCTOR WHO: DOOM COALITION 1 [2015] - The First Half

 "THE ELEVEN NEED YOU . . . BUT WE DON'T NEED YOUR TONGUE!" 

Embarking on the Big Finish 8th Doctor box set DOOM COALITION 1.  Warning to self:  there are 4 box sets in the DOOM COALITION series!  Struth! I'm leaping ahead from the last two Big Finish audio adventures in the early 2000s to this rather newer one.  The 8th Doctor Paul McGann has had quite a run of box sets and this follows the epic DARK EYES saga (4 box sets there too).  The storyline features one of Big Finish's excellent ideas (presumably thought up by Matt Fitton who pens the first episode) and that is a new kind of mad time lord.  His name is The Eleven and he is played with diabolical relish by Mark Bonnar.  The Eleven is suffering from a rare timey-wimey psychosis in which he retains all his previous incarnations and personalities inside his mind each time he regenerates.  Being called The Eleven, you can guess he's on his 11th regeneration so he has 11 distinct and warring personalities battling inside his head constantly.  I can understand why he goes a bit mad sometimes . . . .

DOOM COALITION 1.1:  THE ELEVEN.

Unusually for Big Finish (at least the ones I've heard), the episode opens with a pre-theme 'cold open' scene in which the Doctor (Sylvester McCoy in a surprise cameo) has captured a villainous Time Lord called The Eleven and brought him to an ultra-high security stasis prison on Gallifrey.  Cue Doctor Who theme song.  The Doctor (Paul McGann) and his companion Liv Chenka (Nicola Walker) are in the middle of wrapping up an encounter with some spiders as we get into this episode.  Meanwhile on Gallifrey, a young time lord named Kilani (Bethan Walker) has applied and been granted an interview with The Eleven for her research on naughty time lords and their time crimes.  I hope I'm not spoiling anything when I tell you that The Eleven manages to escape and wreak havoc on Gallifrey.  From Big Finish's own blurb:   "The Eleven. A Time Lord whose previous personalities live on in his mind: arguing, plotting, jostling for supremacy... He is also Gallifrey's most dangerous criminal. And he has escaped.  The Doctor is recalled to his homeworld to lead the hunt. As they search the Capitol's corridors of power, the Academy halls and the cells of the highest security penitentiary, Liv realises the worst monsters may be among the Doctor's own people.  For inside his fractured mind, the Eleven has a plan. And its deadly consequences will extend through space and time... "  This first episode of the quartet sets up The Eleven nicely.  Kaili's first encounter with her interviewee is very reminiscent of a similar scene in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS where Clarice goes to the cell to meet Hannibal Lechter.  Bonnar's warring personalities are portrayed in a bewildering, swirling myriad of 11 different voices which the actor manages to pull off very well indeed.  The listener even gets to recognize certain different incarnations by their voices -- all done by Bonnar -- the violent 6, the bewildered 8 etc.  Once he escapes, The Eleven runs through the endless secret tunnels of the Capitol (with Liv in tow) cooking up his mad scheme.  This is a noisy, bang bang shoot-'em-up kind of episode which admittedly is not my favourite kind but still it's quite enjoyable.  Each story in this box set is only about an hour each so they never overstay their welcome.  Bonnar as The Eleven is suitably malevolent and threatening and his ultimate goal, once revealed, makes a lot of sense.  This episode is written by Matt Fitton and directed by Ken Bentley.

DOOM COALITION 1.2:  THE RED LADY

Another cold open where we learn about and antiquarian's art collection which all seems to feature a distant figure of a woman with flaming red hair . . . and possibly a mask.  After the theme song, The Doctor and Liv head back to 1963 London (gee, he likes it then, dunt he?) following a temporal anomaly that possibly leads to The Eleven's whereabouts.  They encounter museum worker Helen Sinclair (Hattie Morahan) who is struggling against the inherent sexism of the time in her profession.  Since the cold open, we learn that McCallum the antiquarian collector of all the art featuring the 'Red Lady' has died (along with his entire family) and willed that his art objects be locked away permanently.  His executor can't bear the thought of that and has Helen's boss Professor Walter Pritchett (David Yelland) put them in the museum where Helen works.  Later, the executor calls Helen's boss and says he's made a terrible mistake and Pritchett must destroy all the artworks.  During the phone call, it sounds like the executor is being killed . . . and that's just what IS happening.  After the murder, the sound of heavy breathing is heard coming down the phone line.  This is really creepy and effective!  Later, when Helen gets a panicky summons from Pritchett, her boss tells her what happened and shows her the tapestry with the woman in it.  However, whereas Helen sees the distant figure, Pritchett now sees the woman much closer . . . . as if she's coming nearer . . . .   This is more up my corridor:  a nicely spooky DOCTOR WHO with a creepy concept.  Who is this woman in the paintings/artworks and what will happen when she manages to come closer?   The trope of a haunted painting has been seen many times but to me it's always a winner!  For instance in the first "story" in the NIGHT GALLERY pilot where Roddy MacDowall keeps seeing the walking corpse getting closer and closer to the house.  I mean, great stuff.  And that's what this 8th Doctor story is too:  great stuff!  THE RED LADY is written by the great John Dorney and directed by Ken Bentley.

So, hit a speedbump after listening to the first half of this box set.  Guess I'll have to write about the last two stories when I get a chance to listen to dem.

DOCTOR WHO: THE CREEPING DEATH [2019]

 "GO ON, I KNOW THAT FACE.  HOW'S THE WORLD GOING TO END THIS TIME?"

  This go round we head into the fog with Doctor number Ten(nant) and Donna Noble.  While I'm no novice the the Doctor Who audio adventures, this is actually the very first Big Finish 10th Doctor audio I've listened to so this was something of an event!  Of course, knowing me, I chose death amidst the creepy London fog as my starting point.  Big Finish synopsis:  

"London, 1952, and a deadly smog envelops the capital.

But something even more dangerous - and alien - is hiding within the mists.

When the Doctor and Donna get lost in the fog, they find a motley group of Londoners trying to make their way home.

Very soon, the stakes are raised, as death creeps along fume-choked streets, and not everyone will make it out alive..."

The Doctor and Donna pile out of the TARDIS in swinging sixties London where Donna wants to snag herself a Beatle.  Only it's not.  It's actually 1952 London and the streets are enveloped in a filthy thick fog.  When they finally discover what year it is, Donna's realization that her Gramps is out there somewhere and it's a really lovely moment.  I can just picture the young Bernard Cribbins running around . . . but sadly imagine it is all we get to do.  Still, it's a really nice, human touch from Roy Gill's script.  Before they can think, the Doctor and Donna hear a woman screaming for help deep inside the fog.  Soon separated, cinema usherette Ivy Clark (Lauren Cornelius) asks for the Doctor's help; all the customers are slumped dead in their theatre seats and 'something' is in there with them -- swarming insect-like.  Meanwhile, Donna stumbles into Terry Hopkins (Theo Stevenson) who mistakes her for a bloke (Ooo, the cheek!) on his way to meet his boyfriend Richard -- (which, you'll remember is actually illegal in 1952 Britain!  Two blokes and all).  This is also a nice bit of characterisation that's not crowbarred into the script but emerges naturally through the writing.  Meanwhile, the Doctor tries to convince Ivy to leave the macabre cinema scene for her own safety.  Ivy resists running away and, even if she did, she'd have to pick up her maybe boyfriend -- if she plays her cards right -- first.  His name is Richard.  Then we have pompous actress Alice Aitken (Helen Goldwyn) and old codger Malcolm Wishart (Stephen Critchlow) who are involved in an accident when her Bentley crashes into a bus.  All our characters meet up in the garage where Richard works.  The Doctor takes Donna aside and tells her this is the deadly 1952 London smog which was the worst on record and resulted in up to 12,000 deaths!    Meanwhile, the Doctor has determined that there is something alien out there in the smog! 

David Tennant and Catherine Tate slip back into their characters like they never left.  Actually, the entire ensemble cast is superb with Helen Goldwyn particularly wonderful in her OTT diva performance; particularly sparring with Catherine Tate.  Here's a nice idea of their repartee:

"ALICE:  Does no one appreciate the pickle I'm in?!?  I'm due on stage in half an hour!

DONNA:  Oh, you mean you're an . . . 

ALICE:  Alice Aitken.  Star of the West End stage.

DONNA:  Never heard of ya!

ALICE:  Well, really!

DONNA:  Do you know who she is?  Miss High and Mighty! 

RICHARD:  I prefer the movies.

DONNA:  What about you, Tezzer?

TERRY:  I only go to pantos.

DONNA:  That'd work cuz right now I'm seeing her as the wicked stepmother.

ALICE:  (LONG, LOUD GASP)  I'm FAR too young for character work!!!  I've never been so insulted in my life!

DONNA:  That's good, Baby Jane, cuz I'm only just getting started!  So pipe down!"

 Stellar acting combined with a cracking script and deft direction by Ken Bentley make this audio adventure a perfect way for me to venture into the 10th Doctor audios.  This was a wonderful time!  Oh yes, and apparently there was a limited edition vinyl LP which I'm totally lusting after!

DOCTOR WHO: NEVERMORE [2009]

 "SOMETIMES ALL I AM IS A CAT'S PAW!" 

This go round we find the Doctor with his brand new companion Tasmin Drew (Niky Wardley) after the 'companion casting call' of SITUATION VACANT.  With Lucie Bleedin' Miller gone, Tasmin keeps the witty comebacks coming but in a different way than Lucie did.  It's always difficult when a change of companions happens but Wardley quickly makes Tasmin an interesting, entertaining character.  As you've no doubt guessed by the adventure's title, this one is a heavily Edgar Allan Poe inspired outing.  From Big Finish's own blurb:  "  A bizarre manifestation in the Control Room forces the TARDIS onto the Plutonian shores of the irradiated world Nevermore, whose sole inhabitant is the war criminal Morella Wendigo – a prisoner of this devastated planet. But the Doctor and his new companion aren’t Morella’s only visitors. Senior Prosecutor Uglosi fears the arrival of an assassin, after the blood of his prize prisoner. An assassin with claws…There’s no escape from Nevermore, whose raven-like robot jailers serve to demonstrate Uglosi’s macabre obsession with the works of the 19th century horror writer Edgar Allan Poe. An obsession that might yet lead to the premature burial of everyone on the planet’s surface – wreathed in the mist they call the Red Death!"  Not only do they have characters with names straight out of Poe (Morella, Berenice but also a shout-out to the Universal 1934 film THE BLACK CAT; guess what Prosecutor Uglosi's name unscrambles spells!  And also there's another character important to the plot named Verdegast (which is Bela Lugosi's character in THE BLACK CAT as well).  Oh, and yes, while the Doctor is giving Tasmin a tour of the TARDIS, there's suddenly a black puddy tat which the pair chase around.  As if all this wasn't Poe-y enough, the author himself also makes an appearance.  The robotic raven guards are nicely cracked characters themselves that seem not too right in the programming; and their voices are somewhat Dalek-sounding but with enough raveny differences to make them different enough sonically to stand on their own. 

Niky Wardley, Catherine Tate & David Tennant

NEVERMORE is one you really have to listen to closely to unravel all that's going on; in fact, I'll probably give this a second listen eventually to clarify some things.  But the ride is really fun; especially for us Poe fans!  This might start sounding a bit cliched but Paul McGann and Niky Wardley also have a really nice chemistry and work well together from the start.  It's always nice to have a companion who needles the Doctor now and then and Tamsin starts right in with her quips.  When she spots the kitty cat, she automatically thinks it's the Doctor's pet.  "There's two types of men . . . one's a serial killer and the other is one who lives at home and loves his cat . . . and it's nothing to be ashamed of!"  Of course, Niky Wardley has another connection to DOCTOR WHO in that priceless Red Nose Day "Am I Bovvered" sketch with David Tennant alongside Catherine Tate.  Fenella Woodgar as Morella Wendigo gives her character an evil whispery menace which is soooooooooooooo good but not a one note vocalization; she changes to an acid-tongued snarkiness with a knife-sharp sense of humour alternately.  This really works even if the description here doesn't make it sound like it does.  Other heavy hitters in the cast are Emilia Fox (Polanski's THE PIANIST) as Berenice and Michael J. Shannon (who, among other things, played JFK in that episode of RED DWARF) as Senior Prosecutor Uglosi.  There are Poe quotes galore in this story.  In fact, at one point the ravens demand that the Doctor recite from memory Poe's poem THE RAVEN as sort of a password.  Many Poe stories are referenced and, in fact, re-enacted also. NEVERMORE was written by DOCTOR WHO vet Alan Barnes (who penned Paul McGann's first Big Finish adventure STORM WARNING) and directed by Big Finish honcho Nicholas "EXTERMINATE" Briggs.  Somewhat wacky and a little bit spooky, this is an above-average lot of fun! 

DOCTOR WHO: HOTHOUSE [2009]

 "DEATH BY SALAD!"

  My latest excursion into audio Doctorland is this story written by the glorious Jonathan Morris and directed by Barnaby Edwards.  This is generally held in semi-low esteem but it features the return of the Krynoids from my favourite all-time Doctor Who storyline:  THE SEEDS OF DOOM with Tom Baker & Elisabeth Sladen . . . . oh, and Camp Freddy, of course!  Morris is the author of such outstanding Doctor Who audio adventures as THE HAUNTING OF THOMAS BREWSTER as well as the truly terrifying STATIC (reviewed elsewhere on this blog) but I kept my hopey-hopes in check knowing HOTHOUSE generally gets a meh response.  The synopsis from Big Finish's own blurb:    "Somewhere in the south of England stands the Hothouse. Five vast, state-of-the-art biodomes, all steel and glass. Inside, rock star turned environmental activist Alex Marlow has a plan to save the world from climate change. By any means necessary...  There's something growing inside the Hothouse. Something that could turn back humanity's tide. A voracious alien vegetable called the Krynoid. The Doctor's going to have to stop it. Stop Marlow. Stop Marlow's fanatical acolyte, Lucie Miller...   Save the world. By any means necessary."

Paul John McGann & Sheridan Smith

The neat thing about this story is that Lucie Miller (the wonderful Sheridan Smith), for reasons which remains spoilery, previously travelled with the Doctor (Paul John McGann) pretty much against both their wills.  The C.I.A. (as any Whovian knows is the Gallifreyan Celestial Intervention Agency) placed Lucie in the Doctor's TARDIS as sort of a 'witness protection program' due to something timey-wimey and spoilery.  At one point, Lucie left the Doctor and at another point the 8th Doctor got some memory issues (deriving from events in the audio adventure ORBIS).  HOTHOUSE shows Lucie Miller re-entering the 8th Doctor's life but he doesn't quite remember who she is.  Details like this are dealt with in subsequent stories  and here we have a great example of that.  At the beginning of the story, Lucie Miller seems to have joined a rather militant ecology organisation called 'The League of Nature' and, in an interview, states that she will even commit murder in order to save the planet! 

Lysette Anthony

The L.O.N. was created by former rock star and current political activist Alex Marlow (Nigel Planer).  In a direct line from the TV adventure THE SEEDS OF DOOM, the World Ecology Bureau's Sir Colin Thackery, after the 4th Doctor departed, took some cuttings of the Krynoid and stored them.  Unfortunately, these Krynoid samples were stolen and now Marlow is cultivating them into a new form of Krynoid.  It's perhaps not too surprising to learn that Lucie is not in fact a rabid eco-terrorist but is actually working undercover to infiltrate the L.O.N. when the Doctor arrives in the midst of things.  Lysette Anthony (KRULL, JACK THE RIPPER [1988] and TRILOGY OF TERROR II) appears as Hazel Bright; a character which I will also not talk any further about because spoilers spoilers.  Interestingly, Lysette Anthony not only previously worked with Paul McGann in the 2001 movie HOTEL but also appeared alongside Peter Capaldi in the same movie!!!  Timey-wimey!

Sheridan Smith, in character, as Lucie Bleedin' Miller

I really loved the interplay between McGann and Smith and the added bonus of the Doctor not quite remembering/knowing what to think of her brings an entirely new angle to their relationship.  Smith, as always, is spectacularly good as Lucie Bleedin' Miller and brings so much life into every story she's in!  Her street-tough attitude and humourous quips never go amiss with me.  Nigel Planer does a nice job with a rather stereotypical 'mad scientist' part and never once cooks a pot of lentils.  Wait, I guess that would be veggie murder so he wouldn't, would he?  Planer, who reveals in the behind-the-scenes interview, that he is not a particular fan of fantasy/science fiction genres, seems to get cast in a lot of them and here, as stated, he's fine.  Lysette Anthony also does a very good job with a very underwritten role.  In fact, oddly for Jonathan Morris, all the (non-Doctor & Companion) parts are kinda underwritten and succeed really through the performances by the actors alone.  As far as the story, Morris' writing here is also a little anemic since HOTHOUSE really plays as a reheated version of THE SEEDS OF DOOM (with the bio-domes recalling QUATERMASS 2). 

Our old friend the Krynoid

This is not a bad story by any means; it only suffers in comparison to Morris' many other home runs in the writing department.  HOTHOUSE is a middle-of-the-road adventure with excellent performances by the cast.  It's not spectacular but I still enjoyed it quite a bit.  The best scene for me, where Morris' writing suddenly comes to life, is after all the adventuresome hoo-hah has been resolved and Lucie hints to the still brain-addled Doctor that she's kinda sorta like to be invited back into the TARDIS.  This final scene alone makes the entire story worth a listen!    

DOCTOR WHO: THE MARIAN CONSPIRACY [2000]

 "I FIND THAT CAKE IS AN EXCELLENT SOLUTION TO SO MANY OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS." 

This Big Finish Doctor Who listening project seems to be on it's way to becoming a thing.  This time, I'm re-listening to a classic early Ole Sixie audio -- only Colin Baker's 3rd audio adventure for Big Finish -- from way back in 2000.  I probably haven't listened to this one for about 15 years but it was absolutely as fantastic as I remembered it to be!  Besides being a 10 out of 10, THE MARIAN CONSPIRACY is also the introduction of one of the best Doctor Who companions ever:  Dr. Evelyn Smythe played by the late great Maggie Stables.  The first episode, in which Evelyn is conducting a history class while Ole Sixie's 'device' is beeping annoyingly is priceless; unable to stop the noise, the Doctor is kicked out of Evelyn's lesson.  Back in her abode, Evelyn is humming and knitting when Ole Sixie's voice comes through her letter box.  Reluctant to let the annoying man in, Evelyn eventually does when Ole Sixie pleads to look at some books she has concerning her distant historical relatives.  Oddly, Evelyn's ancestor has disappeared from the history books and a geneology printout; somehow Evelyn's past is being erased!  After gathering up her shampoo, toothbrush and ration of cocoa, Evelyn insists she's going with the Doctor to try to find out what is erasing her past and how to stop it.  The pair arrive in the Tardis back in Tudor England in order to meet with Queen Elizabeth I -- but they're in for a surprise.

THE MARIAN CONSPIRACY is usually considered one of the best Big Finish adventures of Colin Baker's 6th Doctor and one of the best of the range.  This is down to not only the superb writing and directing by Jac Rayner and Gary Russell respectively but also to the absolutely top notch performances of the cast.  Anah Ruddin as Queen Mary Tudor gives a wonderful performance ranging through all the sides of this complex character. 

But the performance of Colin Baker as the Doctor teamed with the marvelous Maggie Stables as Evelyn can't be topped.  As good as I remembered this one to be, it's better.  This, I think, is where the new, softer version of the 6th Doctor is first heard to full effect as Colin Baker is allowed to really play Ole Sixie as he wanted to do all along; the bombastic and cranky qualities of Ole Sixie are still there but the character is fully rounded now as Baker brings a lovely warmth to the part as well.  Maggie Stables is magnificent from the first few seconds of her first appearance matching Baker toe to toe as if they had been acting together for decades!  The two actors were meant to act together.  The first episode, particularly the scene in Evelyn's quarters are pure fried gold and I could listen to it on an endless loop forever!  After causing her to drop a stitch, Evelyn reluctantly lets this annoying man in to look at her books and Ole Sixie sulkily says "A cup of tea would be nice".  Evelyn basically tells the Doctor not to push it.  By the first minute, while Evelyn is in the kitchen preparing a cup and the Doctor tries to find a ringing phone amongst all the clutter, Baker and Stables perform together like a veteran comedy team.  It's really the height of Big Finish audio and every subsequent pairing of Stables with Baker is classic.  We really miss you , Maggie!  Of course, the episode 2 travel back to Tudor England amongst the Catholic and Protestant brouhaha and court intrigue also features top notch writing, acting and directing making this one of Ole Sixie's best audio adventures.  Colin Baker started strong with Big Finish and has just gone from strength to strength ever since.    

THE TERRORNAUTS {1967}

 "SQUIRTED THROUGH SPACE LIKE A BBC BROADCAST!"

  Amicus was pretty expert in the art of the horror film portmanteau/omnibus movie; horror really was their meat & potatoes.  Their few excursions into melding horror with science fiction were less successful.  From the Peter Cushing Doctor Who films to the same year's THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE (admittedly a favourite of mine), Amicus made sci-fi horror movies that were very odd and particularly juvenile.  Today's example:  THE TERRORNAUTS - - practically screaming the era in which it was made; the candy-coloured 1967 where swinging London was the center of world culture.  Based on the 1960 Avon paperback "THE WAILING ASTEROID" by Murray Leinster, the plot concerns Project Startalk headed by Dr. Joe Burke (Simon Oates) assisted by Sandy Lund (Bond girl Zena Marshall) and Ben Keller (Stanley Meadows) which is attempting to detect communication from alien life forms (sort of a swingin' sixties SETI).  The radio telescope complex in which Project Startalk is located is run by the crotchety Dr. Shore (Max Adrian at his most unpleasantly nasty) who keeps threatening to pull their funding because what they're doing is stupid nanny nanny boo boo!  Shore gives the team 3 months to find something before he pulls the plug. 

Of course, almost immediately the team receives a transmission that sounds very much like it's produced by intelligent life.  Shortly, an alien spacecraft levitates the Project Startalk building up into space; unfortunately for them an accountant/auditor Mr. Yellowlees (Charles Hawtrey) and tea lady Mrs. Jones (Patricia Hayes) happened to be in the building when the liftoff took place!  Our heroes are transported to the asteroid belt to Asteroid M-387 (at least that's what it's called in the book) and find a deserted space outpost manned by some clunky robots which looks like they were made by children on a  Blue Peter episode.  Sorta like Doctor Who's Krotons only a lot less well-made (!).   Burke discovers that if he takes one of the hundreds of black cubes with a funnel on top and plugs it into a shower cap with wires attached to it, he can 'channel' a recording left by the late owners of the place.  Because one does.  Through this device, we learn that the outpost was created by the Schmendricks (ok that's NOT their names but I don't recall them being named at all) or the good aliens are at war with the baaaaaaaaaaaaaad aliens (let's call them the . . . . oh, I don't know . . .  the Terrornauts) who have vowed to destroy not only the goody aliens but any other life form which is like them.  Cats and kittens . . . . human beings are like them.  The goodies left these space outposts all around the universe so that, if the Terrornauts are ever detected approaching, the automated station will contact those nearby and aid them in fighting them off.  Long story short:  Terrornauts be coming . . . . Earthlings better fight.  Before the baddies arrive, some hijinx involving a teleportation device that Sandy accidentally falls on (bumped by clumsy-arse Ben) and is transported down to an alien planet which is very rock and looks like a quarry.  Think Doctor Who: The Sontaran Experiment.  Yep, for us Whovians it's nothing more nor less than a transmat.  Anyway, Sandy is grabbed (within about 5 seconds) by a bunch of blue-skinned aliens who immediately throw her on an altar and attempt to sacrifice her with a knife. 

Joe transmats down to the planet (not before arming himself with an alien pistol) and rescues her; the pair transmat back up to the space outpost.  A chevron of Terrornaut spaceships approach and, aided by those black boxes and shower caps, our heroes are able to fire missiles and blow up the attacking craft. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  Our heroes then transmat down to . . . . well, France.  And since they don't have their passports on them, they are arrested by a French copper.  The last line of the film is given to Patricia Hayes as they are being escorted to jail:  "Never DID think much of foreign parts!"

I have no evidence to support this but THE TERRORNAUTS just could not have been meant for anything other than a children's matinee audience.  It's all silly to the max and seems to me to be deliberately aimed at the under 10 set.  The references I've made to early DOCTOR WHO are in fact very appropriate except for the fact that the special effects/props in THE TERRORNAUTS are much MUCH lower quality than anything seen in the sixties DOCTOR WHO.  In fact, they're even less convincing than those used in the 1930's FLASH GORDON serials!  No scary menace is to be had; things are kept young kid friendly.  And the presence of the comedy whizzes that are Charles Hawtrey and Patricia Hayes keep things even lighter.  The attempted knife sacrifice is kept pretty shock-free and there's nothing during the whole length of the movie which would scar a young'un.  In fact, the whole proceedings seems about one step up from a Christmas pantomime.  That being said, only a grinch would find fault with such a film as THE TERRORNAUTS on the grounds that it's inept or silly because I'm pretty sure that's what they were going for.  Incidentally, this was Zena Marshall's final film.  I don't know if THE TERRORNAUTS specifically put the nail in her career or not but one never knows, do one? 

DOCTOR WHO: THE DAEMONS [1972]

 "CHAP WITH THE WINGS THERE.  FIVE ROUNDS RAPID!" 

This, one of the most famous quotes by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, can be found in this most Halloweeny of DOCTOR WHO stories.  It's night in the village of Devil's End where, in the midst of a massive thunderstorm, a man and his dog exit the local pub and stumble into something unseen which causes the man to scream!  Cut to the next day when the man has been found dead (don't worry the dog ran off to safety) and where local witch Olive Hawthorne advises that evil forces are at work in the village.  This is due, apparently, to the archaeological expedition on a local barrow that's being carried out (and televised) by a Professor Horner.  A wonderful televised debate between the Prof and the white witch is broadcast. The Doctor and Jo Grant race to Devil's End (oddly, the doctor taking the mystical witchy side of the argument) to try to stop the dig.  Locals have been having "Devil sightings" with the horns and the cloven hoofs and a 30 foot tall Devil.  Also there's been a stone gargoyle running around.  And, as this is the second series of the Jon Pertwee era (where the Doctor is stranded on Earth), the local Vicar conducting Satanic rituals in the village church is The Master!

That great, spooky opening of the rainy night with lightning flashing and thunder roaring proclaims to me a definite candidate for a Halloween watch and this story ties into that early-70's occult boom which was going strong at the time.  The magnificent Damaris Hayman plays the magnificent Olive Hawthorne who quite matter-of-factly proclaims to the television audience that she is a witch and, nicely, no one seems to have a problem with that.  There's no ostracizing her by the villagers or religious nuts proclaiming her "damned to hell" or a "devil worshiper"; she is simply the village's white witch and is accepted as such in the community.  Gee, isn't it a shame that nowadays she's likely have a lot of problems with that.  Just goes to show you that time may move forward but that doesn't mean we "progress".  I just love Hayman (who sadly left us this year)

and she's obviously the best part of the story; however there are other things to recommend it.  The previously-mentioned early-70's occult boom is in full bloom with the Master donning typical Satanic robes, magic circles and pentagrams with candles blazing in an ancient, stone-walled basement.  The story is credited to Guy Leopold which is a pseudonym for producer Barry Letts and writer Robert Sloman.  Letts wanted to introduce an occult story into DOCTOR WHO but didn't know how to do it in the scientifically-slanted show.  He was influenced by CHARIOTS OF THE GODS into making the Devil-figure into an alien lifeform called Azal who came to Earth eons ago and helped primitive man develop intelligence as something of an experiment.  Besides the CHARIOTS OF THE GODS influence, THE DAEMONS sports quite a few other obvious influences

from Hammer's THE DEVIL RIDES OUT as well as QUATERMASS AND THE PIT to THE STONE TAPE (the set for the church basement REALLY reminded me of the set used in THE STONE TAPE -- I wonder if it actually WAS the same set?!?!).  THE DAEMONS storyline also benefits from the extensive location shooting in the Wiltshire area with the main village exteriors shot at Aldbourne -- a place which looks so representative as our typical idea of a quiet English village that I would up sticks and move there if I could!  Nicholas Courtney is particularly excellent as the Brig in this one; his performance is just lovely with many great quips like his "Five rounds rapid" one.  The ending features another wonderful Brig moment as the baddies have been vanquished and all the villagers (along with The Doctor and Jo) dance around a maypole.  Captain Yates asks the Brigadier if he fancies a dance; the Brig looks sideways at Yates and says "I'd prefer a pint" and both men bound off for the pub.  THE DAEMONS is not anywhere near the best DOCTOR WHO storyline -- not even the best Jon Pertwee story -- but it certainly is entertaining as all hell and a favourite of mine as it introduces some well-needed spookiness into the series while we wait for the heights of the classic Tom Baker/Philip Hinchcliffe years where horror would be given full reign!