BLOODY BIRTHDAY [1981]

 "IT'S A REPLICA." 

OK, so there seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of the general public that children are anything other than pure evil.  I mean, how many 'evil children' horror movies do you have to see before you realize that?!?!?!  I mean, I was a kid once.  And I for one know that children are some of the most nasty, evil things on the planet.  Somehoe people seem to forget that when they grow up.  And that's how the evil children get you!  Or should I jus say children.  I mean . . . I've just proved to you they're ALL evil.  But since most people are misguided, I will use the shorthand of referring to 'evil children' when referring to this and other movies of it's ilk.  And as 'evil children' horror movies go, this is at the top!  I haven't seen all of them but BLOODY BIRTHDAY is superb!  Director Ed Hunt is known best to me for helming the classic 1988 THE BRAIN as well as those goofy 70's movies STARSHIP INVASIONS and the '"documentary" UFO'S ARE REAL.  But here surely is Hunt's magnum opus!  The director co-wrote BLOODY BIRTHDAY with Barry Pearson (who wrote THE BRAIN) and the script is wonderful; lean and mean without any fat.

The plot concerns three babies born during an eclipse:  Debbie Brody (Elizabeth Hoy), Billy Jayne (Curtis Taylor) and Steve Seton (Andy Freeman).  We then skip ahead to find the 11 year old trio of kids . . . . a little off.  Cute and wholesome (LOOKING!), the three kids have appearently been born without a conscience; a part of them is missing because they were born during an eclipse and Saturn was blocked by the sun and moon.  Saturn determines one's emotions and how they relate to other people according to their horoscopes.   Anywho, a teenage couple making out in the cemetery is walloped with a shovel and buried in an open grave.  If we're in any doubt as to whodunnit, we quickly see lil Stevey bash in Debbie father's skull with a baseball bat. 

He's the Sheriff by the by but lil Debbie (not copyright infringement!!!) tells Mom that he fell and hit his head on the steps.   Unfortunately for the 3 lil maniacs, Timmy Russel (K.C. Martel) wanders by and almost catches them in the act.  The 3 homicidal kiddies put Timmy on their murder list and, while playing in a junkyard, Curtis locks Timmy inside an old refrigerator to die.  Out Timmy is resourceful and finally manages to free himself but his big sister Joyce (Lori Lethin) doesn't believe him and thinks Timmy is telling tall tales again.  The kids ask their teacher Miss Davis (Susan Strasberg) if she can give no homework to everyone on their birthday's and Miss Davis refuses saying "Just because you all have the same birthday, doesn't make you special!".  The kids procure the late Sheriff Brody's revolver and plug Miss Davis in the back.  Scratch one more annoying person from the 3 kids' lives!  Well, several more people end up dead (and the trio keep trying to off lil Timmy but the plucky kid keeps getting away from them).  Finally we have an all-out showdown between the kiddies from Hell against Joyce and Timmy.

The cast is frankly all top drawer from the child actors (and GOD knows I'm usually not a fan of them) to the teens who just show up to get killed. 

Every one of them puts in a solid performance.  Jose Ferrer makes an appearance as does Susan Strasberg but they, while equally excellent, are only here for the paycheck.  It's the unknown (relatively) cast who really shine.  Lori Lethin (who we remember from THE PREY) and K.C. Martel (a veteran of THE AMITYVILLE HORROR and soon to appear in E.T.:  THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL) are both absolutely fantastic as Joyce and her little brother Timmy.  You really really REALLY root for them all through the picture!  Julie Brown (a couple years before she became a Cerpts Tape icon with her song "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun")

appears very early in her career Debbie older sister Bev (whom Debbie charges 25 cents from the neighbourhood boys to peer through a peephole  and see he un-dressing).  Jose Ferrer plays the unnamed doctor who delivers the three babies from Hades and only shows up for two brief scenes.  Stunt casting.  The rest of the cast is equally fine, as I've said.  Hell, the movie even has The Dudikoff in it!!!!!!I mean, can we get any nearer to perfection?!?!?!?  But special praise MUST go to the 3 child actors paying the terror tots:  Elizabeth Hoy, Billy Jayne and Andy Freeman).  Billy Jayne (then known as Billy Jacoby) is the little brother of fellow child actor Scott Jacoby (of THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE and as the title character in BAD RONALD).  Elizabeth Hoy had only a handful of roles in movies and TV and stopped acting in 1984.  These two kids are absolutely mind-blowingly good in their roles with Freeman excellent to a lesser extent (as his isn't given a lot to do after the initial baseball bat incident).  These kids really do some acting here as you can read on their faces the contempt they feel for the dimwitted adults around them who have all fallen for their "innocent children" act.  Really some of the best child acting I've ever seen!  If for no other reason,

BLOODY BIRTHDAY is worth watching for their performances alone but the film contains a wealth of riches.  There are so many great moments including the one involving the birthday cakes as well as the excellent moment that features the quote at the beginning of this post (don't wanna give any spoilers -- you really must go see this movie if you haven't already!)   I just love love loved this movie.  It may just be my favourite 'evil kid' movie that DOESN'T involve Satan! 

MYSTERY IN DRACULA'S CASTLE (1973)

 VIC CRUME VIC CRUME VIC CRUME! 

You know, even though I never had nor ever read the novelization of this made-for-TV Disney movie (split into 2 parts on THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY), I was well aware of the book in the Scholastic Books catalogue we got every month in school.  And yes, to the best of my knowledge, I never saw the movie either when it was broadcast in 1973!  So here I am, 142 years old on this year's COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN and I'm finally getting around to watching it.  Maybe I'll find a cheap paperback of the book on etsy or something?  I'll tell you I DO have Vic Crume's paperback THE GHOST THAT CAME ALIVE which I did manage to buy from Scholastic Books back around the same time.  So that's something, right???

So all of this blather has nothing to do with the movie we're considering here today.  Oh wait, it has EVERYTHING to do with it.  Since all these reasons were why I was dying to see this flick for the last 100 years -- and you couldn't get it anywhere.  Still, THE MYSTERY IN DRACULA'S CASTLE has no release!  Sheesh!  Anyway, Alfie and Leonard Booth (Johnny Whitaker and Scott C. Kolden respectively) and their author-mother Marsha (Mariette Hartley) go off to the beach for the summer where she can get some writing done and Alfie can film his amateur Dracula movie starring Leonard as the Count.  The boys discover upon moving into the rented cottage that a shaggy stray dog has been living there and they quickly adopt it.  When the boys witness a jewelry store being robbed, Leonard decides he wants to be an amateur detective instead.  The thieves got away with the $100,000 Daumier necklace.  Leonard named the shaggy dog 'Watson' as his heart is still set on being a detective and every Sherlock Holmes needs a Watson.  Meanwhile,  Alfie is still trying to make his Dracula movie and they discover an old lighthouse off the beach which would make a perfect Castle Dracula for his movie.  Inside the boys encounter a painter named Keith Raynor (Clu Gulager) and his buddy Noah Baxter (Mills Watson).  Yes, they're the crooks.  Not a spoiler, incidentally.

So yes, the number one disappointment with this movie is that there is no 'Dracula's Castle"; it's just an old lighthouse off the beach that Alfie thinks would make a cool Dracula's Castle in his movie!  But still, lighthouses are nearly as cool as Dracula's Castle and I've got so much good will for this movie that it's not that much of a disappointment.  The whole thing runs like a Hardy Boys mystery but with the soon-to-be stars of SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS heading up the action.  In fact, this is really a kids vs. jewel robbers scenario with the only horror elements being the Dracula movie Alfie and Leonard are making.  But well . . . . with the cool lighthouse and beach location combined with Johnny Whitaker and Scott C. Kolden running around, the SIGMUND vibes are huge.  And it looks like this was made right before the two boys were cast in SIGMUND & THE SEA MONSTERS so I'm sure THE MYSTERY IN DRACULA'S CASTLE was sort of an audition for the kids.  There's also that strong horror link with the appearance of Clu Gulager in the cast plus the Queen of the 70s Mariette Hartley is always welcome.  The ubiquitous Mills Watson (Cujo) is also on hand to be his usual goofy self; although I probably know him more for his role of the racist Sgt. Condon on M*A*S*H*.  The nice cast is rounded out with fellow M*A*S*H* alum James T. Callahan as the Sheriff and prolific character actor John Fiedler (Disney's own voice of Piglet).  Once again, the heavy 70's vibe carries the day and makes this a terrific watch for an old cuss like me.

"THE LOCKED DOOR OF HARKNESS HOUSE" from PLOP! #14

 AS PROMISED TO MELISSA -- HERE IS THE STORY! 

So, I used to spend quite a few weekends at my grandparents' house in Pennsauken, NJ back in the 1970's. I've waxed nostalgic about this era before and you can find the posts probably by clicking on the labels "Um . . . just about me Sorry" or "The 1970s".  Anywho, quite often my grandfather would take me to the Pennsauken Mart on Saturday mornings and we'd spend the day walking around.  The first stop, however, was always the store that sold comic books (and paperbacks and magazines) -- usually but not always with the covers torn off -- and it was here that I picked up a coverless issue of PLOP! #14 featuring a lead story that always stuck with me.  That story is called "THE LOCKED DOOR OF HARKNESS HOUSE" and even as a child, I found it strangely ringing a deja vu bell in my brain.  PLOP!, of course, was DC Comics' humor magazine which often parodied movies or TV shows etc. in the manner of MAD and CRACKED.  The 14th issue of PLOP! is cover dated July 1975.  So, was "LOCKED DOOR" a parody of some horror movie . . . . and was it a horror movie that I caught some or all of when I was even younger?!?!?! 

It was only many years later when I caught the 1970 horror flick THE BEAST IN THE CELLAR starring Flora Robson and Beryl Reid as a pair of spinster sisters who keep their insane and bestial brother locked away in the basement . . . . until he escapes.  Hmmmm, when you read the PLOP! story, it has that same plot!  Did I actually catch THE BEAST IN THE CELLAR sometime between my fifth birthday and my 10th (when the issue of PLOP! came out)?  I like to think I did catch the movie on TV's CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE or one of Dr. Shock's programmes.  Anyhow, I never shock the sense of familiarity I got when I read issue #14 of PLOP! and here (as I promised Ms. Sharp many months ago) is the comic book story.

THE COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN ROLLS ALONG AGAIN . . .

 . . . . LIKE A RIPE PUMPKIN ROLLING DOWN A LEAF-COVERED STREET. 

Art by Ed McGuinness

Every year I swear I won't be up to participating and every year I manage to gather together my meager energies (assisted by my Strickfaden arcing whoosis) and once again participate.  Why?  Because I love Halloween so frikkin' much.  I've been doing this since 2007 when I first saw John Rozum's blog and found out that the Countdown to Halloween was indeed a thing. 

Yes, I am INDEED a Thing!

Somewhere in there, I think I missed a year and I was saddened by that.  An October can't go by without celebrating and the Countdown to Halloween is the place I love to shake my skeletons and scatter my cobwebs like confetti!  I thought I'd start this year's Countdown to Halloween with some horror reminiscences which, I hope, will give a little of the flavour of what this genre means to me.  My love for Halloween and horror goes back as long as I've been alive; I've talked about it here and the feelings that I get from everything spooky are comforting and cozy, not scary at all.  From my mother reading me Edgar Allan Poe before I could read to watching DR  ACULA for the first time down in my grandparents' basement where the cool darkness banished the summer heat and sun outside. 

The flickering images on that old black and white TV down there still flutter through my mind's eye like bat wings.  Another favourite story I asked my mother to read to me time and again before I had even gone to kindergarten was August Derleth's "The Lonesome Place" which still remains one of my absolute favourite horror short stories. 

This story appeared first in the horror anthology hardcover 'Hauntings' edited by Henry Matteo with beautiful artwork by Edward Gorey!  Or how about that time my cousin Loran and I sat on the floor of my bedroom and listened to that classic LP of Disney's 'The Haunted Mansion';

the long-playing record that starred a post-Opie, pre-Richie Ron Howard.  I listened to that record so many times I can still recall the 'Ghost Host's' speech:  "Where hinges creak in doorless chambers and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls.  Wherever candlelights flicker and the air is deathly still.  That is the time when ghosts are present; practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!" 

from HAUNTED LOVE #4 (1973)

Loran and I also read horror comics; she was particularly fond of HAUNTED LOVE from Charlton or THE DARK MANSION OF FORBIDDEN LOVE and THE WITCHING HOUR from DC. 

from THE WITCHING HOUR #1 (1969)

All those early-70's 'gothic' horror comics spawned by the popularity of gothic horror paperbacks as well as TV's soap DARK SHADOWS.  My childhood was filled with monsters -- in a GOOD way -- since the early to mid-1970's was still the waning heyday of the horror boom which started around 1958 when the 'Shock Theater' package of Universal (and others) horror films were first released to television and the dawn of the horror hosts was upon us

-- spearheaded by John Zacherley as Roland on Philadelphia's WCAU-TV which my teenaged mother used to watch all the time.  

This love of all things spooky of course followed me like a leg-dragging mummy to my older teenage years when I recall a particularly moody summer afternoon that still stands out in my mind from the time when VCR's and cable television were both still fairly new things.  Being off from school during summer break, I had the entire house to myself.  My father, who worked night shift, was asleep upstairs and my mother was working.  Quiet reigned in the house and the curtains on the windows could be drawn to block out that pesky bright sunlight and I could walk around as if I was in a haunted castle and make a bowl of bacon cheddar wagon wheels in the kitchen for lunch.  I had my top-loader VCR which I bought in 1982 (which cost over $800 in those days and I earned money by doing chores like painting the fence etc.).  I of course had been taping things offa the telly for several years by this point but I had never actually bought a VHS tape in a store.  This was also the days when a single VHS tape could cost over $100 but by this time the prices had come down considerably.  So I had recently purchased my very first 'store-bought' VHS tape from some store in the mall (probably Suncoast) and that videotape was NOSFERATU.  And this is the very tape I bought.

  

I think I had seen NOSFERATU before this but I can't be certain.  Either way, I sat down to watch it and when it was through, I switched to the telly and ended up on USA Network which was just about to air HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS. 

Now, the store-bought VHS of NOSFERATU has a lot of blank tape after the movie finished.  In fact, enough to record two movies on slow speed (SLP for you know-nothing-tots) and this is what I proceeded to do.  I put a piece of scotch tape over the empty tab on the videocassette and recorded HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS on the tape.  I know I had never seen THIS movie before and it was spectacular.  All the dull, draggy spots of the TV show were cut out so only vampire mayhem was left in the film.  It's a great watch!  Then, after this ended, USA Network was going to show IN SEARCH OF DRACULA; a documentary starring Christopher Lee. 

Are you kidding me?!?!?!  I had never seen THIS one either and there was just enough room on the videotape so I recorded this movie as well.  I had by this point never read the famous Raymond McNally & Radu Florescu IN SEARCH OF DRACULA book but I had for years repeatedly checked out of the library A NIGHT IN TRANSYLVANIA by Kurt Brokaw which covered the same territory

i.e. the story of Vlad Tepes aka Vlad the Impaler; his whole life story and the legends attached to him.  Subtitled "The Dracula Scrapbook", this book had tons of photographs and illustrations and I absolutely LOVED this book.  I would soon by myself my own hardcover copy.  But here was this documentary airing on USA Network during my atmospheric afternoon of horror that covered all the topics I had read over and over again in A NIGHT IN TRANSYLVANIA ("To Be Read Only At Night" as the cover blurb demands) as well as folklore of vampires in the Balkans and worldwide plus the cinematic depictions of Dracula and his vampire kith and kin. 

Of course, I loved NOSFERATU and the silence of the movie paired with the spooky atmosphere dripping from every frame made it an instant favorite.  Thus also for HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS which to this day is a fave horror movie for me; not only because it was so good, action packed and gothically gory but also because I cannot think about the movie without thinking of this very special afternoon.  The same goes for IN SEARCH OF DRACULA; I get this certain feeling (which I guess only lovers of horror can understand) which is like a soft, warm blanket wrapped around me on a cold, winter's night every time I push play on IN SEARCH OF DRACULA.  The melifluous tones of Christopher Lee don't hurt either!  I'm sure all horror fans have similar stories of when the bony finger of horror touched our hearts and made us who we are for a lifetime:  creatures of the night!

And as a side note, I'd like to dedicate this year's Countdown to Halloween to my mother Sandy who is currently battling cancer.  We have high hopes that she will make a full recovery but it's been rough since the beginning of August.  Before I even began kindergarten, it was my mother who taught me how to read -- not with "See Spot Run" but with Edgar Allan Poe poems and the August Derleth short story "The Lonesome Place".  A favourite of lil me was Poe's "The Bells" -- all that tintinabullation and all!  Sure, there was also Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" but even the Grover/Sesame Street book she read to me was "THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK".  My love of horror and all things spooky first and foremost originate with her.  I love you, Mom!

Drive In Asylum September 2023 Promo

 

September 2023 Top Ten List

 HERE ARE MY FAVOURITE FILMS I SAW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN SEPTEMBER 2023:

1. DIO:  DREAMERS NEVER DIE  [2022]
2. SCARAMOUCHE  [1952]
3. THE ANGRY BLACK GIRL AND HER MONSTER  [2023]
4. THE BIG COUNTRY  [1958]
5. TRANCERS  [1984]
6. THE WALKING HILLS  [1949]
7. THE NINES  [2007]
8. WELCOME TO WOOP WOOP  [1997]
9. WAKING THE DEAD  [2000]
10. THE FLASH  [2023]

TRANCERS [1984]

 I don’t think there’s any question in anyone’s mind that this is Charles Band’s finest film as a director! 

Screenwriters Danny Bilson & Paul De Meo provide a top notch script and Band manages to translate it to the screen extremely well.  This, of course, owes a lot to the Top notch performances of the cast as well as the “do-a-lot-with-almost-nothing” special effects of John Carl Buechler.

  I especially love the ‘sunken Los Angeles’ shot that Band lovingly lingers on towards the start of the film.  I got strong vibes of THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN as well as those SPX in the BBC TV series THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY where the buildings wash up on the shore like ocean waves.  But, of course, there’s the pterodactyl in the room – the common misconception that TRANCERS was a rip-off of THE TERMINATOR and that’s actually not true.  For the first time in Charles Band’s career, he DIDN’T rip-off a popular movie of the time.  The script was completely written and filming was beginning while THE TERMINATOR was still filming and hadn’t been released yet.  Release date of THE TERMINATOR was October 26th, 1984 while the release date of TRANCERS was November 7th, 1984 (in the U.K.).  Even a ‘quick & cheerful’ outfit like Charles Band’s Empire Pictures couldn’t get a rip-off out THAT quickly!  Besides, as all genre fans SHOULD know, THE TERMINATOR itself was pretty much a ‘rip-off’ of Harlan Ellison’s episode of THE OUTER LIMITS entitled “Soldier” which aired back in 1964 based on the author’s 1957 short story.  THE TERMINATOR is identical to “SOLDIER” in every important way; as Ellison was pissed off about for years and years.  Granted, Harlan Ellison was usually pissed off about SOMETHING all the time but in this case he was correct in his pissy-ness.  So, if you wanna call something a rip-off, call THE TERMINATOR and TRANCERS both “inspired by” Harlan Ellison’s “SOLDIER”.

As for the film itself, the film Kim Newman calls ‘the greatest B-movie of the 1980s’, I stunningly never saw TRANCERS until just now.  And I (along with my doddy Cheeks) was a heavy consumer of Full Moon videotapes in the late 80’s/early 90’s when, I’m pretty sure, Full Moon released a VHS of TRANCERS under the Full Moon banner (because Charles Band wisely kept copyright to the film for himself).  I’ve seen others mention that they missed it at the time because it looks like straight science fiction and I was a horror guy.  This is probably the case for myself as well.  For some reason, I never felt compelled to give TRANCERS a rent.  Boy, what a stupid ass!  The film itself is jam-packed with great ideas (whether or not Ellison’s “SOLDIER” was an inspiration for the screenplay) as Kim Newman quite rightly suggests.  TRANCERS is just a hell of a good watch and towards the top of every nee EMPIRE now FULL MOON movie EVER in my humble humble.  Tim Thomerson is, as always, superb as Jack Deth;

playing it perfectly straight but with a naughty twinkle in his eye like the best private eye actors from the 40’s & 50’s the filmmakers here are so lovingly evoking.  Helen Hunt, just turned 21 and leaving her ‘kid actor’ career behind, is also fantastically warm and funny as Jack’s 20th century sidekick Leena.  I hope she is proud of her work in TRANCERS because it’s top notch and there is a great chemistry between her and Thomerson.  Art LaFleur as crusty cop McNulty is also lovable and at the top of his game.  Telma Hopkins as Jack Deth’s version of ‘M’ Ruth Raines is a welcome addition to the cast and does a great job too.  Veteran Hollywood actress Anne Seymour is a treat as Chairman Ashe playing it straight as an arrow and we even get a ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ cameo by Clu Gulager as a Mall security guard!  I love the ‘long second’ wristwatch and the zappy zap guns and the heavy use of neon lighting all through the picture.  I love the ‘thrown bottle’ much more than the ‘thrown rock’ in TO THE DEVIL—A DAUGHTER, that’s fer damn sure which evokes a strong BLADE RUNNER feel (which in this case was DEFINITELY a deliberate rip-off but lovable nonetheless).  This is just a terrific film I’ll be rewatching and rewatching in the years to come!  And I couldn’t end this without reminding you that dry hair is for squids!  

August 2023 Top Ten List

 My favourite movies that I watched for the very first time in August 2023.

1. MOLLY'S GAME  (2017)
2. REMEMBER  (2015)
3. PILGRIMAGE  (1933)
4. HOUSEBOAT HORROR  (1989)
5. CALAMITY JANE  (1953)
6. SPARROWS  (1926)
7. DANTON  (1983)
8. ASTEROID CITY  (2023)
9. SHARKSPLOITATION  (2023)
10. MY BEST GIRL  (1927)

JULY 2023 Top Ten List

 My favourite movies that I watched for the very first time in July 2023

1. THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA  (1958)
2. STALKHER  (2015)
3. MALCOLM X  (1972)
4. RONIN  (1998)
5. THE INCIDENT  (1967)
6. THE TRIAL OF ADOLF EICHMANN  (2011)
7. BETTY BLUE  (1986)
8. 48 HRS.  (1982)
9. WITNESS IN THE CITY  (1959)
10. SUBSPECIES V:  BLOOD RISE  (2023)

RIP ROARING RILEY (1935)

 A THUNDERBOLT DRAMA OF FEDERAL MEN IN THE WAR ON CRIME! 

I'm sorry but I enjoyed the hell out of this one.  I've seen tons of these 30's B-movies which are horror adjacent and have some crazy device or death ray or killing machine that needs to be taken care of by a square-jawed hero. . . . but many of them are rather dull.  This one, however, can really be described as "rip roaring", that's for sure! 

Ive just managed to watch this -- even though I first heard about it decades ago in the classic book FORGOTTEN HORRORS by George E. Turner & Michael H. Price et. al.   The action starts almost immediately with G-Man Ted Riley (Lloyd Hughes) wrapping up a case.  His boss then assigns him to investigate the mysterious happenings on Diamond Island.  Turns out there are 'enemies of this country' who are trying to perfect a gas which is deadly to all animal and vegetable life.  This gas is being invented by naive Prof. Baker (John Cowell); who happens to be an old science professor of Riley's.  The enemy agents are led by the bogus Major Gray (Grant Withers).  No sooner does Riley take on the case than he's involved in a (sorta) high speed chase (this is 1935 so it's kinda leisurely).  The villains kept up to Riley and force him to drive somewhere which probably won't be too good for his future health.  In a spectacular move, Riley pulls up behind a lumber truck and grabs onto protruding 2x4's; lifting himself out of the driver seat of the car and making his escape while the car careens driverless to a crash.  Leaving behind the naughties, Riley approaches Diamond Island in a motorboat which he sets on fire and blows up near the shore.  He jumps in the water right before the explosion. 

On shore, Prof. Baker's daughter Ann (Marion Burns) sees the commotion and runs get help from the unknown-to-her villains.  They are supremely uninterested in helping so Ann runs for a speedboat and heads out to rescue Riley.  Feeling the should make a show of attempting to help, the villains hop in their own boat and attempt to run down Riley.  Ann helps Riley into her boat and brings him to the island where Prof. Baker recognizes Riley and the enemy agents aren't really able to touch him.  At first.  Of course, the bad guys make several attempts to kill Riley which he manages to avoid with some really nice stuntwork by all concerned.  Of particular note is the fistfight Riley gets into at the top of some wooden stairs.  Riley is clocked by the bad guy and goes flying down a couple flights of stairs and clearly lands on the wooden bannister ON HIS STOMACH.  OUCH!  Seriously, this stunt has to be seen to be believed!

These low-budget B-movies did the stunts for real and this one looks wicked painful.  It might be a stuntman or it might be Hughes himself  -- it's hard to tell - but actors in these movies often did their own stunts and, whoever it is, it's a wonder he didn't bust a rib or two on that stunt alone.  In the last reel, the poison gas is accidentally released and covers the island endangering good guys and bad guys equally.  What will they do?!?!?  RIP ROARING RILEY is just under an hour long and it fills every minute with action and adventure.  I think it does a better job than most other movies of its ilk I've previously seen and I had a whale of a time watching it.  Unlike many others, this movie I will watch again and again! 

Lloyd Hughes makes an engaging hero as Riley (at no point did I notice anyone refer to him as "Rip Roaring" so that's probably just for the film title.  Also, I was extremely heartened to see Marion Burns character of Ann Baker not only beautiful but also a woman of action; she doesn't play the simpering heroine needing rescue but instead seems very capable of taking care of herself -- starting from the first moment we see her running down to the dock to rescue a drowning man.   Director Elmer Clifton, as mentioned, keeps things going at a rapid pace; giving the film the feel of those 30's and 40's movie serials (of which he directed his share including CAPTAIN AMERICA) and there is scarcely a pause to catch your breath.  I didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did!

WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO TRAVEL?

 THIS IS ONE OF THE 4,332 THINGS WHICH CONFUSE ME ABOUT HUMANS. 

I'm sure I'll get around to the other annoying things humans do in good time.  And as usual, my hero Fran Lebowitz puts it so well in the third episode of PRETEND IT'S A CITY:    "As far as wanting to go places, I can’t believe people do it for fun. When I’m in airports, and I see people going on vacations, I think, ‘How horrible could your life be? How bad is your regular life, that you think, you know what would be fun? Let’s get the kids, go to the airport, with thousands of pieces of luggage, stand in these lines, be yelled at by a bunch of morons, leave late, be squished all together—and this is better than our actual life.'” 

Yes, people are perplexing to me.  When you spend so much time making the place you live as comfortable and filled with things you love as possible -- then you constantly want to pick up and leave it to go somewhere.  I can see picking up and going to Tuscany or the Isle of Skye because you'd want to move there to live -- but to go there and just come back again???  Surely there's a travel documentary you can watch and avoid all the horrors of travel and experience any place in the world to the best advantage.  From a distance.  On your comfy sofa.  Out of the heat and bad weather.  Away from crowds.  This is why I have made it a long-running tradition to go to the 'Stay Inside Festival' every year

and I can't recommend it highly enough!  AND I got this cool T-shirt too!!! 

JUNE 2023 TOP TEN LIST

 My favourite movies that I watched for the very first time in June 2023

1. THE BATTLE OF ALGIERS  (1966)
2. UPTIGHT  (1968)
3. TWISTED NERVE  (1968)
4. THE BIG GUNDOWN  (1967)
5. WALKING AND TALKING  (1996)
6. WEIRD:  THE AL YANKOVIC STORY  (2022)
7. BACK TO THE WALL  (1958)
8. THE FINAL GIRLS  (2015)
9. THE LINEUP  (1958)
10. BATTLE OF BRITAIN  (1969)