I never managed to get around to watching this in October (since it didn't debut on Nutflux until the very end of the month) but now here I am and here they are and let's see what becomes of me watching dem.
Ep. 1) - LOT 39. Directed by Guillermo Navarro, who was director of photography on pert near all of Guillermo del Toro's movies. This one plays just like an episode of HBO's TALES FROM THE CRYPT as well as the original E.C. Comics upon which it was based. Tim Blake Nelson plays a not-so-likeable guy who's not only down on his luck but into some loan sharks who want their money. Desperately buying up a storage unit which may contain some valuables (tipped off by Demetrius Gross as the storage unit worker), he finds it filled with esoteric of a decidedly occult nature. The episode takes place during Desert Storm (not sure why) and the unit was owned since the 1940's by an old man who just died. Among other things, Nelson discovers a wooden carved seance table. When he takes it to a dealer, she triggers a hidden drawer containing 3 old books of arcane knowledge. Calling in an expert on such things (played by Sebastian Roche), Nelson is told there should be a 4th book; if he can find it, he'll pay $300,000 for all four tomes. The two men go back to the storage unit and discover a false wall leading to a lengthy chamber and what lies beyond . . .
This was a really nice above-average episode with a hint of Lovecraft and a nice E.C. twist in the tail. Karma is a bitch. ⭐️⭐️⭐️½
Ep. 2) - GRAVEYARD RATS. Love that title, ain't it great?!? Directed by Vincenzo Natali (who directed CUBE). This episode is based on the classic horror story by Henry Kuttner (which I have read). I've also seen it filmed previously as one of the stories in the anthology film TRILOGY OF TERROR II by Dan Curtis. And I'm also pretty sure I've read a comic book adaptation either from E.C. Comics or some other pre-code horror comic I can't place. David Hewlett nicely plays the custodian of a graveyard who is into some loan sharks for some money (I see a theme developing here) and partakes in a little graverobbing to recover valuables to pay of his debt. Unfortunately, a huge infestation of rats is making this hard for him. When opening the graves, Hewlett discovers the coffins empty; the rats have chewed a big hole in the coffin and dragged the corpses away (with whatever valuables they had on 'em). A rich guy dies with lots of gold teeth and valuable items buried with him. Hewlett waits till the night of the funeral hoping the rats won't get to the body that quickly. He's wrong. Just as he opens the coffin, he sees the body being dragged through a hole chewed in the coffin. A desperate Hewlett crawls after it and finds himself in a vast warren of underground tunnels. This is an absolutely wonderful episode which captures the feeling of the Kuttner story. The tale is set sometime in the Victorian era in Salem and the (mostly CGI) sets and settings all look spectacularly good. There is also a semi-Lovecraftian bit about there being tunnels beneath the city which were used long ago by some 'Black Church' of demon-worshippers and this combines with the rat tunnels nicely. This also had a nice E.C. Comics feel to it and yes, karma here is also a bitch once again. Excellent, fun episode! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ep. 3 - THE AUTOPSY. Directed by David Prior who gave us THE EMPTY MAN. Sheriff Nate Craven (Glynn Turman) has a group of corpses on his hands and calls in his pathologist friend Dr. Carl Winters (F. Murray Abraham) to perform the autopsies in order to figure out exactly what happened. Obviously the star power in this episode is notched up with these two well-known and terrific actors on hand and they bring absolutely great performances to this one. The episode is absolutely terrific with not only top notch special effects but also a few genuine scares. The rundown, makeshift morgue facilities of this tiny, ill-funded police station is absolutely superb set design. And the spooky atmosphere is ramped up to eleven. So far, this is the finest episode of the series I've seen (I'm watching them in order) and also features a truly wonderful ending! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️,
Ep. 4 - THE OUTSIDE. Directed by Ana Lily Amirpour who directed A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT. A little more satirical than previous episodes, this one also manages to be creepy and a little disturbing. 'Ugly Duckling' Stacey (the wonderful Kate Micucci) is constantly ignored by her female co-workers but one day is invited to a 'Secret Santa' party at the luxurious house of one of her co-workers. Stacey (with everything done to make her unattactive including a 'wall-eye' contact lense in one of her eyes) is a taxidermy hobbyist; she shoots a duck on the wing and stuffs it as a present. When she arrives at the ridiculously mansion-like home of her host, she learns that everyone has given agreed beforehand to all receive the same gift: the miracle beauty lotion Alo Glo. Stacey's taxidermied duck isn't too appreciated but Stacey is gifted her own Alo Glo lotion. At the encouragement of the other women, Stacey smears it all over her face and neck and promptl breaks out in red rashes. As she goes home that night and catches an Alo Glo infomercial, the Alo Glo man (Dan Stevens) begins talking directly to Stacey and assures her that the itching and redness mean the lotion is doing it's work and soon she will be transformed into the swan she wants to be. The Alo Glo is already 'growing' under her skin. What does that mean?!?!? We find out in the episode, naturally. This episode has quite a lot to say about people (particularly women) who are cursed with a negative body image. Stacey's husband Keith (Martin Starr) is one of the most supportive husbands ever and continually tries to make Stacey stop lathering on the Alo Glo because she's perfect as she is and doesn't need any improving. Sadly, Stacey is convinced by her female co-workers and the creepy Alo Glo Man that she is a frump who must improve her looks. I also got a sorta echo of THE STUFF where this seemingly sentient white goop takes control of all these women; trade out the addictive ice cream/fluff-like STUFF for the addictive beauty lotion Alo Glo. This is really the most TWILIGHT ZONE-like episode of this series as well; it really captures the spirit of Rod Serling's classic TV series. And by the end, it really makes ya think. Kate Micucci, half of the comedy team Garfunkel & Oates is also known for playing Lucy in several episodes of THE BIG BANG THEORY as well as being the voice of Velma in the Scooby-Doo movies and TV shows in recent years. The performance of Micucci alone bumps this up an extra half-star. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ep. 5 - PICKMAN'S MODEL. Directed by Keith Thomas who gave us the FIRESTARTER remake. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here comes ole HPL. Officially. First of two. And it breaks my heart to say this is the worst episode I've seen thus far. There is very little of Howard Phillips' story present here. That is not a dealbreaker, per se. I mean, Nutflux did THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE with very little of Shirley Jackson's actual novel present and that is a modern classic. No, the problem here is that, the Nutflux version of THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE retained the spirit of Jackson while PICKMAN'S MODEL is antithetical to the spirit of Lovecraft. The changes to the original story seem padding merely to make the running time fit the hour format. The addition of 'sexy times' is also VERY un-Lovecraftian and doesn't add anything to the episode. In fact, it merely sets up tired and overly-seen horror tropes which caused me to sigh in disappointment. All this led to a final 'shock' which could be seen coming a mile away -- because we've seen it a hundred times before -- mostly in multiple variations at the end of E.C. Comics stories. Usually that would be a plus but this is kinda sorta supposed to be a Lovecraft story and it's soooooo not how anything Lovecraftian would end. Then there's Crispin Glover's (as Dickie Pickman) . . . shall we say . . . . 'interesting' choice of accent. Well, at least Glover seems to be having fun with it. That may be the only fun in an overly dour episode. And the monster itself . . . the actual titular 'model' . . . . well, it's first appearance as it climbs out of the well is . . . . well, I laughed out loud, honestly. Scary as a muppet. It's pretty bad when a 50 year old episode of NIGHT GALLERY did a better adaptation of this story. Yeah stick to the NIGHT GALLERY version . . . or just read the actual short story. ⭐️⭐️½.
Ep. 6 - DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE. Directed by Catherine Hardwicke who also directed . . . . oh no . . . . TWILIGHT!!! Wow, that doesn't bode well, does it. Well, Lovecraft round two. And yeah, I kinda feel beat up after the previous one. The good news is: this is better. The bad news is: not by much. Rupert Grint stars as the famous Lovecraftian character Walter Gilman and I'm perfectly OK with dat. Hey, I'm a Rupert Grint booster. I STILL want him to be the first ginger DOCTOR WHO. And here he's perfectly respectable as Gilman; although the script makes the character more of a sniveling loser than the original story. And speaking of the original story -- here again there's precious little of it to be found although the changes, in themselves, are not deal-breakers. As kids, Walter and his twin sister Epperley are very close and he plays the Skye Boat Song on the piano a lot for her. I'm not sure if this is what causes her to die but she dies. He then sees her ghost which is promptly pulled by an unseen forest through some sort of dimensional portal into a spooky forest. Gilman then spends the rest of his life trying to contact the other side and see his sister again. He joins spiritualist societies and tries to find spiritualists who can help him; but they all turn out to be charlatans. And tings go on from dere. We don't get to the witch house until approximately halfway through the episode and the place is certainly a broken down mess. Great set but who would realistically stay there? Well, there's Walter and the artist (Tenika Davis) in the room behind him. There is the witch Keziah Mason and there is also Brown Jenkin her human-faced rat familiar (typically here misnamed 'Jenkins Brown'). A lot of people seem to have a problem with Keziah's appearance but I thought it was very affective. Brown Jenkin is kinda silly. He came off a lot better in the MASTERS OF HORROR episode directed by the late great Stuart Gordon (who knew how to adapt HPL better than anyone I can think of). So yeah, things are OK until about the final third of the flick when things just get really stupid. The characterisations are fairly non-existent with Gilman being rather one note and particularly Tenika Davis' character severely underwritten. Whereas PICKMAN'S MODEL was too long and padded, DREAMS seems like it needed more time to flesh out the characters and provide proper buildup to the rather sudden and perfunctory ending. Once again, if you want to see a film adaptation of this story, stick to the MASTERS OF HORROR episode. This one just lacks something. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ep. 7 - THE VIEWING. Directed by Panos Cosmatos. You know, of BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW and MANDY fame. This time we're in 1979 where a small group of people are summoned to the spectacular abode of an incredibly rich guy who promises to give them an experience they'll never forget. No, this is not HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL but there is that same sort of thang going on. Kudos for casting the great and powerful Peter Weller as rich guy Lionel Lassiter; it warmed this old horror fan's heart. The rest of the cast isn't really known to me but they were excellent as well: gifted but cynical author Guy Landon (Steve Agee), genius musician Randall Roth (Eric Andre), astrophysicist Charlotte Xie (Charlyne Yi) and Uri Geller-like psychic Targ Reinhhard (Michael Therriault). Then there's the mysterious companion to Lassiter Dr. Zahra (Sofia Boutella). The feeling of expectancy is very strong as we, like the four 'guests', are brought into this unbelievably spectacular building of Lassiter's (which was created by an architect you will never have heard of nor ever will) and hear the odd music on Lassiter's sound system (by a composer you will never have heard of nor ever will). You see, they only create for Lassiter; such is his vast wealth and power. Lassiter's four guests are slowly prepared with various substances for what they are about to experience: the 'item'. What it is we do not know . . . until about the last 10 minutes. And I'm not sure we even really know then. The 'item' is never explained but we do 'experience' it. As do our characters. As the 'item' is unleashed upon a waiting world. If all this sounds kinda like a Lovecraft story, you'd be right! This is the Lovecraftian episode in del Toro's series; not the two ostensibly Lovecraftian adaptations. Cosmatos ramps up the expectancy of just what it is we are going to see and also flavours it with some creeping dread. The dread does not overcome our curiosity. We, like the characters, are highly interested in what we're going to see. Lassiter has assembled these four because he too doesn't know what the 'item' is and is hoping for insight provided by their expertise in their fields. And this isn't just a plot contrivance; they really do bring different angles of hypotheses as to what the 'item' could possibly be. The characters are so well written that we are fascinated by their conversation (which takes up most of the episode). Naturally, know-nothing-tots with zero attention span will probably be disappointed that the 'scary stuff' doesn't happen until the last ten minutes but this is called building atmosphere and expectation and true horror fans will appreciate it. True Lovecraft fans, too. Because this non-Lovecraft story is probably one of the most successful Lovecraftian filmic presentations there is: fascinating, full of dread and a sense of wonder. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
All in all, GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES season one is a winner. The majority of the episodes are excellent and even the couple not-so-greats ain't terrible. The sets and cinematography are both exceptional all the way through and the acting is mostly terrific! If there is a season two, it will be very interesting to see what is to come.
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| Go, Rupey! Go, Rupey! Go, Rupey! |
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