DOG TAGS (1987)

 "IF CECIL AND HIS ZOMBIES WANNA RIDE OUT, THEY GOTTA MAKE IT TO CHECKPOINT 2!"

Awwwwwwww, if only there WERE zombies!  Only 20 minutes in and I was looking at my watch.  The problem with DOG TAGS is that is suffers from PLATOON-itis.  Released a year after (that terrible movie) PLATOON, DOG TAGS takes itself way too seriously.  A group of POW's (this is during the Vietnam War) held in tiger cages are rescued by an Army Captain who takes them on a secret mission. 

Soon the men find a cache of gold bars and that ole devil greed takes over.  So yes, this is basically TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE in the jungle.  But there the similarity with that superb movie ends.  Going in, the synopsis led me to believe this would be kinda a KELLY’S HEROES type of movie but it’s not fun at all.  The mention of a “cache of gold” brings to mind more of a fun caper movie in the jungle (which this is not).  Seriously in need of the editor’s scissors.  Also most of the ‘emotional beats’ in the film are not earned so we get the clichéd Vietnam soldier mental breakdowns etc. without any emotional lead-up to them hence they seem even more clichéd and we couldn’t care less.  These characters/actors constantly emote different emotional states but they have not been established by the script or the performances so they are basically faceless nonentities whom we also couldn’t care less about. 

The one ‘Dustin Hoffman in PAPILLON’ character with the monstrously oversized eyeglasses was the only one I hooked onto and . . . well . . . let’s just say don’t get too attached to him.  The thing is beautifully shot and the new Vinegar Syndrome print is flawless!  The script is way too heavy-handed and melodramatic so I can’t really slam the actors for not being able to do anything with it.  If the direction for the film wasn’t going to be ‘fun’ then it’s perfectly acceptable for it to be a serious action flick but there’s precious little action in it and, when there is action, it’s oddly anti-climactic and uninvolving.  Director Romano Scavolini also directed the video nasty NIGHTMARE IN A DAMAGED BRAIN which I own but haven't watched yet.  I certainly hope Scavolini brings more life to that one.  Kinda really disappointed with this.