SLAUGHTERHOUSE [1987]

 "YOU'RE BEING PIG-HEADED, LESTER!" 

Absolutely takes for it's starting point TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE but combines it with any 80's "teens" get offed one by one slasher and just a soupcon of humour.  Lester Bacon & Sons (see what they did there?) is a hog slaughtering business that has fallen on hard times and is moments for being condemned. 

Lester has a son (he's a BIG boy) named Buddy who is one weenie short of a full pack and speaks only in pig-snorts.  When local teens (the usual slasher "teens" that appear to be pushing 30) disturb Buddy's precious pigs, he hacks them to pieces and hangs them up on meat hooks.  Priceless moment number one is when Dad comes in and sees the murdered teens:  "I buy you a new cleaver for your birthday and THIS is how you repay me?!?!?!  Sometimes you REALLY piss me off!"   Good stuff!  It is kinda confusing though how Buddy seems to identify with pigs and loves them and cuddles them but doesn't seem to have a problem with slaughtering them for a living???  Conflict of interest or what?   Lester tells Buddy they don't have anything to fear from these kids; it's those no good so-and-so's that are trying to take their property away that he'd rather see up on those meat hooks.  Well, guess what idea THAT puts in Buddy's head.  So, there may not be any new ground broken here and you get exactly what you think you're going to get but it's kinda fun. 

The film has a palpable griminess to it but at the same time oddly has a lightness as well; owing to the subtle tongue-in-cheek humour in the script (written by director Rick Roessler) and the performance of the actors who somehow bring an easy competence to their roles; much more professional than you might expect to get in this kind of slasher.  Joe B. Barton (who also appeared in the masterpiece known as BLOOD DINER) as our "hero" Buddy Bacon is particularly good.  One scene after he has hacked up a local deputy, Buddy Bacon sashays (and he DOES sashay) out to the dead deputy's patrol car proudly wearing the victim's mirrored shades and police uniform -- which is naturally covered in blood and worn under Buddy's overalls!  Bubby proudly dons the deputies hat and gets into the patrol car and goes for a joy ride and has the greatest time!   A "Hot Rod Lincoln"-type song plays on the soundtrack with lyrics such as "He's a real gone daddy, he's a shooting star, and they can't touch him with his hot rod car!" He's got the siren and lights going as he tools around the town and even picks up the car two-way radio mike and piggy-squeals into it to the confusion of the dispatcher back at the precinct office. You can't help but love the guy!  He's the most lovable piggy-snortin' serial killer you're ever gonna find.  It's also fun that Lester, his father, goes bonkers and pretty much directs Buddy on his killing spree.  And then there's the ending which I liked a lot.  Here I go with yet another of my recent broken record of "this was way better than I expected it to be!".

Of course, the best way to watch SLAUGHTERHOUSE is on that wonderful Vinegar Syndrome blu with the limited edition slipcover which opens by pulling the left and right sides of the slipcase and having it open like slaughterhouse doors.  How freakin' cool is dat?!?!?!?!