FREDDIE FRANCIS: IN MEMORIAM.

I've finally been able to take a little time to mark the passing of a giant: Hammer great & two-time Oscar winner Freddie Francis died on March 17th. He had not one but two major careers; that of cinematographer and director. Freddie Francis started out as a camera operator on such films as the Bogart film "Beat the Devil" and "Moby Dick" with Gregory Peck. Francis then went on to DP/cinematographer on classic ghost film "The Innocents" starring Deborah Kerr, "The Elephant Man", "The French Lieutenant's Woman", "Glory", and the remake of "Cape Fear". But Freddie Francis stands tallest in my estimation as the director of some classic horror films that I've grown up watching: classic Hammer Horror's "Paranoiac" starring Oliver Reed, "Nightmare", "Dracula Has Risen From the Grave" starring Christopher Lee, and "The Evil of Frankenstein" with Peter Cushing. Francis also directed some of the best horror films mounted by Hammer's rival Amicus: the classic "Dr. Terror's House of Horrors" starring Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and Donald Sutherland, "Tales From the Crypt" starring Sir Ralph Richardson, Joan Collins and Patrick Magee, the Lee/Cushing teaming "The Skull", "Torture Garden" starring Burgess Meredith, Peter Cushing and Jack Palance, as well as the moody, Lovecraftian "The Creeping Flesh" with Cushing and Lee and "The Ghoul" with Peter Cushing and John Hurt. The films Freddie Francis directed were perhaps not as stately as his Hammer predecessor Terence Fisher, but they moved along at a fast clip and kept things interesting. Perhaps the best thing one can say about Freddie Francis is that his films were just so damn enjoyable. That's a scarce commodity nowadays. Good night, Mr. Francis. You'll be greatly missed.

Cinema Insomnia: Mr. Lobo interviews Bruce Campbell, Part 2

Part 2: because you have to see how it ends, dontcha?!?

Cinema Insomnia: Mr. Lobo interviews Bruce Campbell, Part 1

As a public cervix, I'm posting this clip from Cinema Insomnia wherein my dear, dear friend (and horror host extraordinaire) Mr. Lobo interviews the Gregory Peck of horror movies: Bruce Campbell. Enjoy.

FAVE FOTO FRIDAY! This is a Diane Arbus photograph from fairly late in her career. It's called "Untitled (7)" (well really -- what would YOU call it?!?!?!!!) and I find it eerily beautiful and endlessly absorbing. It's always reminded me of a Gericault painting; the figures are arranged AS IF they had been arranged and the very romantic lowering clouds looming in the background seem to belong in Wuthering Heights! Damn, but Arbus sure knew when to snap her shutter! The subjects (not surprisingly for Arbus) are "mentally challenged" and they seem to have a definite destination in mind; look how they're all progressing towards something. What, I wonder. I love the little Toulouse Lautrec-like fellow in the center (with his [drawn on???] curly-cue moustache) being lead by the hand of the figure in the black mask. I don't know what siren call they're all heading towards but I feel slightly left behind by those who look like they know better. It's almost Tolkienian with the figures set against the dark woods; like the trek through the forest in "The Hobbit". Inarguably forward momentum. One wishes one could see what lies just outside the frame. This photo is surely more like a painting than a photo. And the only thing I still can't understand is how Diane Arbus' former husband could POSSIBLY be the guy who played psychiatrist Dr. Sidney Friedman on M*A*S*H* for over a decade?!?!!!!

WHADDA DESE BUMS HAVE IN COMMON????

Click on the pictures to see them bigger & better.

Pictured in the first block are: Rob Zombie, Jam Master Jay, Diane Lane, Alan Cummings, Brandon Lee, Sherilyn Fenn, Chris Rock, Dr. Dre, Sarah Jessica Parker, Juliet Landau, Robert Downey Jr., Trent Reznor, Todd Bridges, Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli, Chinese bombshell Amy Yip and Subspecies' own Denice Duff.

The second block consists of: Elizabeth Hurley, Mick Foley, Slash, J. K. Rowling, KRS-One, Marlee Matlin, Charlie Sheen, Moby, director Bryan Singer, Chris Penn, Jami Gertz, Famke Janssen, Ben Stiller, Bjork, Gavin Rossdale and Queer Eye's Ted Allen.

And no -- the answer ISN'T "They all have more money than us."

Sleep

Sleep tonight

And may your dreams be realized

If the thunder cloud passes rain

So let it rain

Rain down on him

Mmm mmm mmm

So let it be

Mmm mmm mmm

So let it be

Sleep

Sleep tonight

And may your dreams be realized

If the thundercloud passes rain

So let it rain

Let it rain

Rain on him

-- also sprach U2

As the sun hides his head For another nights rest And the wind sings His same old song And you on the edge Never close, never far Always there when I needed a friend Yet it's hard living life On this memory-go-round Always up, always down Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round And all this could be Just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye There once was a time Never far from my mind On the beach, on the 4th of July I remember the sand How you held out your hand And we touched for what seemed a lifetime Now it's hard Leaving all this behind me now Like a schoolboy so lost Never found until now And all this could be Just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye Yet it's hard Living life on this memory-go-round Always up, always down Turning 'round and 'round and 'round And all this could be Just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye And all this could be Just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye Goodbye

Goodbye.

- - Ranger of the Night.

And your hands are really shaking something awful

As you light your twenty-seventh cigarette

Oh, how long have you been sitting in the darkness

You forget...

Oh, you know you’re getting really hard to be with

And you’re crying every time you turn around

And you wonder why you cannot pick your head up

Off the ground...

Oh, my crazy baby

Try to hold on tight

Oh, my crazy baby

Don’t put out the light...

The light, the light,

the light

And they look at you like they don’t speak your language

And you’re living at the bottom of a well

And you’ve swallowed all the awful bloody secrets

But you can’t tell...

Oh, you know you ought to get yourself together

But you cannot bear to walk outside your door

No, you cannot bear to look into the mirror

Anymore...

Oh, my crazy baby

Try to hold on tight

Oh, my crazy baby

Don’t put out the light...

The light, the light,

the light

And your hands are really shaking something awful

As your worries climb around inside your clothes

Oh, how long will you be sitting in the darkness

Heaven knows...

Oh, my crazy baby

Try to hold on tight

Oh, my crazy baby

Don’t put out the light...

The light, the light, the light

The light...

- - Joan Osbourne

I DON'T RECALL SEEING THIS EPISODE. . .

Yes indeed, two previously un-aired episodes of The Good Neighbors (Original British title: The Good Life) have been discovered. The first pictured is the episode entitled: "A Change Is As Good as a Rest" in which Barbara(sweetly pretty Felicity Kendal) finally dumps bumbling husband Tom (Richard Briers) and marries Mudbone (Richard Pryor). Hijinx ensue.

The second newly discovered episode is called: "Oh No She Didn't!" and features Barbara (the still sweetly pretty Felicity Kendal) ditching self-sufficiency for a job as a pole dancer. Estimates estimate that the new episodes will be released on a new comprehensive DVD box set called "The Good Neighbors: In Your Dreams."

SHUT UP AND BUY IT! That's right, the second album by formerly jazz-inflected and now 50's-60's girl group sounding Amy Winehouse is a revelation. "BACK TO BLACK" is a rarity lately: an album that's actually FUN TO LISTEN TO. Sure, Amy Winehouse has already been nominated for the coveted Mercury Prize and won other awards such as the British Best Female Artist. However, this platter is gonna spin quite a lot with me for the foreseeable future so (natch) that's probably her highest honour YET!!!! (Hark, dost thou detecteth an only child blogging?!?) Tee hee hee. But seriously, ladies and germs, from the wonderfully bitter, heart-broken title track (which sounds like a lost Supremes recording) to the deliberately Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell-sounding "Tears Dry on Their Own" to the 50's girl group sound of "Me & Mr. Jones" or the "My Boyfriend's Back"-like "Rehab"(which actually uses fifties-style tubular bells), Amy Winehouse manages to capture the spirit and sound of old soul & R&B singles without once ripping them off. Then there's the naughty femme fatale of "You Know I'm No Good". Of course, I'm sure SOME credit must be given her returning producer Salaam Remi and the addition of Robbie Williams' producer Mark Ronson (fer goshsakes?!?!) who deftly craft each song with it's own individual, different sound in which Amy gets to shine. Her very name is appropriate too; since she has what can only be described as a "wine-dark" voice -- sorta a Merlot, I guess. So rush out and buy the damn thing, will ya, and drink up! Your ears are thirsty!

JOHN INMAN DIES AT AGE 71.

Just wanted to mark the passing of the one and only Mr. Humphries from the classic silly Britcom "Are You Being Served?"; who died today at the age of 71. While all the furore over Captain America dying will probably grab all the limelight, I wanted to make sure this veteran funnyman didn't pass into that great department store in the sky without due notice being given. John Inman started out in show business at the ripe old age of 13 and has been going ever since. His greatest love was pantomime and he constantly appeared in British pantomime stage shows over the years. But, of course, we will always remember him as Mr. Humphries who would answer the classic "Are You Being Served?" catchphrase: "Are you free???" with his own classic high-pitched catchphrase: "IIIIIIII'mmm Freeeeeeeee!!!" Now I'll have to go watch some old episodes and get me a good chuckle.

DYNAMIC DUOS PART 15: COOKIN' CHEAP . . . FOR WHO LAID THE RAIL. It was a staple of Blue Ridge Public Television for 22 years. Sometime in the early-to-mid-90's, WYBE Public TV started airing the show around these parts. It was a cooking show AND a comedy show. The hosts were two good ole boys from Virginia whose Southern colloquiallisms and down home good humour COMPELLED you to love 'em. And two less compatible people can hardly be imagined -- at least on paper. Laban Johnson was a large, jolly gentle giant who would seem right at home sippin' juleps on his front porch while Larry Bly was an urbane advertising executive running his own company as well as a successful DJ who could rattle off his dry witticisms and biting commentary for who laid the rail! The city slicker and the country bumpkin, you might be tempted to think, but they were much more than that. Genuine friends in real life, Mr. Bly & Mr, Johnson (they even SOUND like a vaudeville comedy team) were totally themselves in front of the camera; no false affectations or hoity-toity airs. AND no high-class culinary arts on THIS show. The recipes they cooked were always new to them; sent in by their viewers. Laban & Larry never knew whether the food they were whipping up would be good or lousy. They joy of the show was that they would TELL you whether it was good or lousy. The show was also taped live -- in REAL time -- with all the mishaps and food disasters that entails. For several seasons, the opening credits would rerun a shot of Larry opening a bag of rice -- or flour or something (!) -- resulting in the bag bursting and rice flying all over the kitchen. There were NO edits and NO second chances. On one occasion, Larry was making caramel popcorn balls for a kids party-themed episode. By the end of the half hour, he had a bowl full of damp popcorn which would NOT form into balls -- and trust me, Larry tried . . . burning his hands on the hot caramel while both men giggled like ninnies. Another occasion found Laban making an apple sauce cake and wondering why the batter was stirring like concrete. The off-camera voice of Doris Ford, the boys' personal assistant on the show, chimed in with: "Did you put the apple sauce in?" Of course he had -- oh wait, no he hadn't -- there sat the apple sauce on the counter. So Laban & Larry proceeded to claw the batter out of the bundt pan and try again. Isn't that how we ALL cook in real life?!? Many episodes consisted of the boys simply opening can after can with NO apologies; that's how the recipe SAID to make it and by gum that's how they were gonna do it. The two boys proudly insisted the show was a comedy and should be viewed as such. All the grumpy letters they received complaining that "all they knew how to do was open cans" were laughed off as missing the point. Whenever the "kitchen witch" flew down (literally on a piece of fishing line) with that episode's recipes, hijinx could be expected. AND whenever the Cook Sisters were called in to dispense some homey wisdom, the viewer SURELY could guess that this was a comedy show: old Sister Cook and Tootsie Cook were Laban and Larry in (very bad) drag! Cookin' Cheap was ultimately there to test your sense of humour; if you didn't "get" the show . . . you simply didn't HAVE any! The overweight Mr. Johnson struggled for quite a few years with health problems ranging from his heart to diabetes (all that down home cookin' with lard, butter, bacon and cool whip can really get you in the end!). The end for Laban Johnson came in 1999. Gamely, Larry tried to continue on with Laban's friend Doug Patterson (who was TWICE the size of Laban!!!) but the magic was obviously gone. After a short time, Cookin' Cheap was cancelled and that, as they say, is that. One time, baby! However, for those of us who loved watching the show (HIYA CHEEKIES!!!), we will never forget those two lovable knuckleheads. Shamefully, I don't think ANYONE is showing reruns of the show anymore. And that's terrible. Luckily, for those of us who taped "the greatest of plenty" episodes, we can still watch them whenever we want. And I want.

Click here to read Larry Bly's column about Cookin' Cheap becoming a subject of academic study!?! Seriously.

Veronica Mars Gag Reel

This one is dedicated to all my special little Sunday night friends: My OLDER brother Midnighter, Ms. Henri, Miss Jenny Penny and yes, that includes you Daddy Pax (perhaps we'll watch something YOU like next time). Just remember: YOU'RE 40 AND HE's GONE!

This one is dedicated to all my special little Sunday night friends: My OLDER brother Midnighter, Ms. Henri, Miss Jenny Penny and yes, that includes you Daddy Pax (perhaps we'll watch something YOU like next time). Just remember: YOU'RE 40 AND HE's GONE!

"Hey! HEY YOU!!! YEAH, YOU -- MATTHEW!!! ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT?!?!?!?" -- says Jesus

THIS MONTH'S EYE CANDY (Courtesy of the Coney Island Hudsons): EVE MYLES. Duw bendigo 'r Cymraeg! Those wonderful Welsh have given us the star of "Torchwood". As Gwen Cooper, Eve Myles kicks serious ass, is beautiful, has outstanding acting chops (she's acted with the Royal Shakespeare Company) and she even looks good in a police uniform. Another plus is that she's managed to snog about half the cast already -- and we've only got one season under out belts. There is also some slight, tenuous, almost subconscious "Gillian Anderson" vibe about her which adds to her allure (since about 10 years ago I had a "Scully" thing -- Whoa! Sounds like I oughtta have that lanced!) For some wacky reason, it's almost impossible to find a GOOD photo of her on the internet (yet one more of the VAST failings of the ho-hum internet, I might add). These pictures are OK but you really have to see her in action to fully appreciate her. What's more the beauty goes hand in hand with an incredibly winning personality and sharp wit. All this and she usually dresses in black. Can I even ASK for a better woman?!?!?!

Then, as if all that wasn't good enough, there's the added endorsement of the Finkenator who, upon viewing a little segment of a Torchwood episode in which a potentially dangerous alien device was being wielded by our Eve Myles, exclaimed: "Oh sure, give the dangerous thing to the CUTE one!" Wow, a ringing endorsement from Finky!!! Need I say more!??!?!?!?!?!!!!!? OK, I will. A Welsh newspaper voted her the seventh sexiest star. I know it's not as huge as having Finky worry about the fate of the cute girl, but it's STILL pretty impressive.