WELCOME TO BLACK BELT THEATRE AND TODAY'S MOVIE IS "BORN INVINCIBLE". Original title: "Tai Ji Yuan Gong (1978). BORN INVINCIBLE is a slam-bang kung fu flick which stars Carter Wong (known to most Westerners for his turn as "Thunder" in 1986's BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA) as the nastiest Tai Chi practitioner to ever come down the pike. He is aided and abetted by the great Lo Lieh (star of the film which first broke kung fu movies in the West: FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH aka KING BOXER!) as his co-villain in this one. A narrator explains at the start of the film that Tai Chi is one of the deadliest forms of kung fu. A practitioner has to learn it young; they start usually at three years of age. When fully adept, the Tai Chi master's body is literally impregnable to any weapon or attack; except in one secret vulnerable spot which the master can move around at will. This "iron armour" technique is also seen in several other kung fu films including "INVINCIBLE ARMOUR" (1977). Carter Wong plays the nefarious Tai Chi master Chief Chin of the Chin Yin Chi clan.

Events in the movie start when students of the Lei Ping kung fu school witness two members of the Chin Yin Chi clan beating up an old man and his daughter. Head student Ming Tu (Jack Long) confronts the hoodlums and tells them to stop. He and some of the other students fight with the ruffians and one of the Lei Ping trainees is killed. The Chin Yin Chi fighters are chased away and the old man and his daughter are given shelter inside the Lei Ping school. Two Chin Yin Chi leaders Chief Chin (Carter Wong) and Chin Pa (Lo Lieh) show up at the school and demand they hand over the old man with whom they have a past grudge. The master of the Lei Ping school refuses, orders his students to go back inside and Ming Tu to carry on as his successor if he should not survive the coming fight. The master engages in a battle with the two Chin Yin Chi leaders and is killed. The old man, who vowed 20 years before to never pick up a sword again, exits the school and fights the villains. Even though the old man is formidable, he too is viciously killed in the fight. Ming Tu, now leader of the school, vows to take revenge against the two villains and the film concerns their repeated attempts to defeat Chin Pa and Chief Chin.

Carter Wong as Chief Chin is seen in the traditional white-haired aspect of the Tai Chi master and demonstrates some of the best fighting ability in this film. Fight choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping is a master at these movies; witness his more recent work in DRUNKEN MASTER, IRON MONKEY, CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON or KILL BILL. The fight scenes are very impressively realized. Lo Lieh is of course no slouch either and both men are very impressive villains. Chief Chin, of course, is the most formidable of all and is quite scary as an opponent. Not only does he seem impervious to every attack but he also displays creepy characteristics such as his mocking laughter in the face of every dying opponent as well as his mystical ability to carve an "I Ching-type" symbol in the dirt while simultaneously making mincemeat out of his foe. Director Joseph Kuo has made several impressive kung fu films including the classic "MYSTERY OF CHESS BOXING" aka "NINJA CHECKMATE" and here he keeps the pace moving at lighting speed with practically no lull periods commonly afflicting lesser films. BORN INVINCIBLE is a little hard to come by but can be found for a reasonable amount in a dubbed/pan & scan version that's quite affordable. All you've gotta do is do a little questing . . . and BORN INVINCIBLE is certainly worth the time.

HEY! THAT AIN'T ENGLISH (PART DEUX). Concluding the list of fave foreign language films, we pick up again with the second half of the alphabet.

M (1931).

Country of origin: Germany. This is the one that catapulted Peter Lorre to world fame. Lorre gives an absolutely stunning performance as a child murderer hunted by both the police AND the criminal underworld. His final speech is devastating. One of Fritz Lang's best films.

Matango (1963) aka Attack of the Mushroom People.

Country of origin: Japan. The American title is stupid; disregard it. It's also hard to believe the Matango was made by the same people who thrilled the kiddies with all those Godzilla movies; this one, however, is very adult in theme and execution. A group of rather unlikeable people is shipwrecked on a mysterious island with black sand and creeping parasitic fungus. One by one the starving castaways eat the fungus and. . .well, let's just say the film is something akin to a Japanese "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". Spooky and suspenseful. The dynamics between the survivors is fascinating.

Meng gui da sha (1987) aka Thunder Cops.

Country of origin: Hong Kong. OK, how to describe THIS one? Well, police set up a sting operation in an apartment building. Trouble is: the building's haunted. This is a horror comedy that never lets up. Particularly memorable is the disembodied (and homicidal) flying woman's head which chases (and IS chased) all over the apartment building as if jet propelled.

Odishon (1999) aka Audition.

Country of origin: Japan. Takashi Miike hits a hammer blow with this one. The first half is a total romantic drama with a lonely widower seeking a woman to marry. Suddenly, without warning, the film takes a full 180 in the second half into gut-wrenching horror. This is one where I actually looked away from the screen. "Kiri kiri kiri kiri kiri."

Onibaba (1964).

Country of origin: Japan. Absolutely beautiful black & white photography graces this haunting tale of two women (a young girl and her harpy of a mother-in-law) who have to survive by waylaying soldiers, bumping them off and stealing their armour and personal possessions. The story takes place in 14th feudal Japan among the mysterious swaying swamp grasses which are taller than a man. This sea of reeds almost becomes a character itself. Fear and mistrust run rampant through this almost Hitchcockian psychodrama. Oh yes, and then there's that mask which seems to have a will of its own.

Ringu (1998).

Country of origin: Japan. This is really the one that started the whole Japanese horror boom of the late nineties-early aughties. The American remake "The Ring" was only about 10% as scary as the original Japanese film concerning the haunted video tape that, once you watch it, will kill you in 7 days. It's because of this film we all know to be uneasy around pale women with long black hair. Overfamiliarity may have blunted some of the startling power of this film but the spooky suspense is slowly built up throughout the picture beautifully. Then the final scary payoff STILL packs quite a punch.

Siu nin Wong Fei Hung ji Tit Ma Lau (1993) aka Iron Monkey.

Country of origin: Hong Kong. Here we have a wonderful martial arts fantasy featuring a Robin Hood-type vigilante named Iron Monkey who battles injustice. Spectacular martial arts stunts. A nice treat for Chinese martial arts fans is the fact that the little boy kicking major ass in this film is actually Wong Fei-Hung: the legendary (but actual historical personage) who was sort-of a Chinese Robin Hood character. Wong Fei-Hung appears in many Chinese martial arts films; most notably the Jet Li "Once Upon A Time in China" series.

Terrore nella spazio (1965) aka Planet of the Vampires.

Country of origin: Italy. Maestro Mario Bava directs this movie which gave me the shivering willies when I first saw it as a kid. The ending floored me. And so did those cool black leather space suits (which seem to be echoed slightly in the costumes of the X-Men movies. . .just a thought). Here we have a crew of space explorers (headed by token American actor Barry Sullivan for marquee value back in the States) crash landing on a planet which just happens to be inhabited by vampires. One by one each crew member is "vampirized" as the dwindling human crew members desperately try to get off the planet. I'm slightly cheating here because the DVD I own of this film does NOT contain the original Italian language track but only the English dubbed one. So sue me.

Das Testament des Dr. Mabuse (1933) aka The Crimes of Dr. Mabuse.

Country of origin: Germany. Evil criminal mastermind Dr. Mabuse (played by demonic looking Rudolf Klein-Rogge) can still control his underworld empire from his prison cell -- with the power of his mind. The first half has strong 30's-era horror overtones while the second half is a fairly straight ahead crime thriller. However, there are still one or two spooky occurrences toward the end of the film. Quite reminiscent of Fritz Lang's "M", this is one of a series of Dr. Mabuse films. . . and a bizarre one at that.

Thomas est amoureux (2000) aka Thomas In Love.

Country of origin: France. Thanks to Ernest for supplying me with this one. The film takes place in the near future. Thomas (whom we never actually see; we experience the whole film from his point-of-view camera) has agoraphobia and has not left his apartment in years. He conducts all his human contact through his computer internet connection. What first seems like a mere gimmick film soon reveals some real depth as Thomas' yearning for human contact (and love . . . and lust) battles with his refusal to leave his apartment. Which side of Thomas will win? His seemingly endless (and seemingly doomed) tries at on-line dating are particularly fascinating.

I Tre Volti della Paura (1963) aka Black Sabbath.

Country of origin: Italy. This time I'm NOT cheating with this Mario Bava film because it is INDEED in Italian. The only minus to that is the fact that Boris Karloff's voice is dubbed in by an Italian voice actor so we miss out on the King of Horror's melifluous tones. Everything else about this film is a near-masterpiece. It's an omnibus/portmanteau horror film consisting of three stories: the first story (A Drop of Water) and the final story (The Wurdalak starring Karloff) are bona fide classics with only the middle story falling flat. Possibly Bava's best film.

El Vampiro (1957) aka The Vampire.

Country of origin: Mexico. The granddaddy of Mexican horror films; this is the one that started it all with German Robles as the title vampire in a film which takes inspiration from the classic Universal monster movies of the 30's and 40's. Incredibly atmospheric and more adult than the Mexican monster movies to follow, this one can stand shoulder to bat wing with Universal's or Hammer's vampire movies.

Wild Zero (1999).

Country of origin: Japan. Totally indescribable; you have to see it to believe it. Briefly, this horror/science fiction/comedy is a cross between The War of the Worlds meets Dawn of the Dead meets The Wild One meets Pulp Fiction meets The Crying Game meets The Three Stooges meets Goodfellas meets the Ramones meets. . .oh geez I don't know. You JUST have to see it. Motorcycles! Flying Saucers! Zombies with exploding heads! Transgender confusion! Rock and Roll! Hey, the movie poster alone described it as a "Rock & Roll-Jet Movie" (whatever THAT is), "Trash and Chaos", "The Great Psycho of Them All" as well as "Thrill, Speed and Stupid Zombies"! All this. . .and SHIM too!

Wo hu cang long (2000) aka Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Country of origin: China. Sure it won 4 Oscars and sure it's got magnificent & magical fight sequences but the REAL heart of the picture is the achingly unrequited love story between Michelle Yeoh and Chow Yun-Fat. The picture also looks stunning, of course. The fantastic wire work may have been something new to American viewers at the time but it actually went back years and years. In fact, it was just this type of "magical" martial arts movie that Bruce Lee was fighting against with HIS films; he wanted "real" martial arts without trick photography and wire-work. I, however, am free to love BOTH kinds. You may also be asking why I don't have any Bruce Lee films in this list. Firstly because I love them ALL and can't really pick one above the others and secondly because those films are usually available in English language versions.

Wong Fei-Hung ji yi: Naam yi dong ji keung (1992) aka Once Upon A Time In China II.

Country of origin: China. I didn't really like the first "Once Upon A Time in China" but this one turned me around. I've only seen the first 3 (there are 6 so far) but this is my favourite. Chinese folk hero Dr. Wong Fei-Hung faces the deadly nationalistic organization "The White Lotus" who plan on driving all foreigners from China -- by killing them. Whereas the first film was rather disjointed and uninvolving, this sequel hold your interest from beginning to end. . .especially after the bizarre opening scene involving the strange quasi-cult performance of the White Lotus. Lots of laughs (intentional) accompany many fine martial arts sequences by Jet Li.

Yokai daisenso (2005) aka The Great Yokai War.

Country of origin: Japan. Takashi Miike surprises once again with something completely unexpected: a remake of an old 60's series of children's monster/ghost movies (seen in the next entry below). Who would've thought the perpetrator of "Odishon" would be equally at home with this appropriate-for-all-ages movies where a young boy becomes embroiled in a war between 100 goofy-looking folklore-based ghost-monsters. This movie is every bit as fun as the earlier films upon which it was based and the modern special effects improve things while keeping the "look" of the yokai EXACTLY the same. Yes, there is the return of the Umbrella Monster; my personal fave.

Yokai hyaku monogatari (1968) aka Yokai Monsters: 100 Monsters.

Country of origin: Japan. Here is the first movie in the Yokai Monster trilogy from back in the 60's featuring all the fairy tale spirits we know and love. This one concerns an evil land developer whose machinations anger the Yokai spirits and cause them to take a hand in his defeat. The sheer number of Yokai (obviously the number given in the title is one hundred) and their visual diversity stems from Japanese folk tales and art so you get the feeling that each one of the 100 monsters has a backstory to tell. But yes, my favourite (how can you NOT love him) is still the Umbrella monster (called kasa obake) who is the trickster ghost and likes to play.

Ying xiong (2002) aka Hero.

Country of origin: China. Jet Li as the Nameless warrior who has to defeat the assassins out to get the warlord leader of his ancient province. Visually sumptous with scenes corresponding to individual colours (i.e. the "red" scene, etc.); the movie also boasts spectacular special effects and fight sequences in the "Crouching Tiger" tradition. Wonderful to look at with a surprising amount of heart.

Yume (1990) aka Akira Kurosawa's Dreams.

Country of origin: Japan. Not really up to Kurosawa's best but the movie itself is a feast for the eye. The dreamlike quality is matched by masterly shot composition and colour photography. You can lose yourself in this movie. The film itself features a group of stories; each one based on actual dreams experienced by Kurosawa. This makes the film very personal and the viewer can experience that feeling as well.

Of course, there are other foreign language films I've seen and liked but these are just a handful of favourites. I'm sure I've missed some and, naturally, there are a great deal I haven't seen as yet. I WILL say that it breaks my heart NOT to include "Dellamorte Dellamore" aka "Cemetery Man" in this list but, despite being made in Italy, the language is English. So there ya go. So, the next time someone wants you to "read" a movie; don't fight it.

HEY! THAT AIN'T ENGLISH! And neither are these bunch of films which are some of my favourite movies in a different language. Other than the one I speak, that is. And SOME would say I don't really speak English either but that would make the list MUCH too long. So here they are (Part One of Two). . .

A Meia-Noite Levarei Sua Alma (1964) aka At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul

Country of origin: Brazil. This is the very first "Coffin Joe" movie starring (and directed by) Jose Mojica Marins as the blasphemous gravedigger searching the city for a woman to bear his demon child. Warped and twisted all the way; the film plays like a waking nightmare and there's simply nothing else in cinema like it.

Batoru rowaiaru (2000) aka Battle Royale.

Country of origin: Japan. What to do about those unruly, disrespectful teenagers? Well, create a reality game show where a high school class kidnapped during a school trip, taken to an island and told to kill each other. The last one alive wins. Provide them with weapons, sit back and watch the fun. Gripping and emotionally harrowing in some parts; darkly funny in others.

La Belle et la Bete (1946) aka Beauty and the Beast.

Country of origin: France. Jean Cocteau's dreamy retelling of the classic fairy tale. Don't give me this Disney nonsense; THIS is the only one to see. Hauntingly eerie and beautiful at the same time.

Bijita Q (2001) aka Visitor Q.

Country of origin: Japan. Cinematic terror Takashi Miike strikes again with the sickest, most warped and disturbed film ever made. Anywhere. Featuring the most disfunctional family ever portrayed. This movie cannot be described; only experienced. But brace yourself. You won't believe your eyes!

Der Blaue Engel (1930) aka The Blue Angel.

Country of origin: Germany. This is the one which shot Marlene Dietrich to superstardom. . .and she hadn't even ventured to Hollywood yet. Josef von Sternberg crafts a dark and pitiless film.

Daimajin (1966).

Country of origin: Japan. This is the first of three "Daimajin" movies. Here we have a giant blue-faced statue with a spike in his head that comes to life and stomps the living daylights out of a medieval (and Pure evil) warlord who is terrorizing a village. There's just something about that scowling blue face trampling over the countryside that warms my heart.

Dracula (1931).

Country of origin: USA. Universal shot this Spanish language version of Dracula on the same sets, using the same script but a different director and cast. In many scenes, George Melford's Spanish version is superior to Tod Browning's stagey English language version; however, it does NOT have the benefit of Bela Lugosi's performance. Since Bela learned all his English lines phonetically, I always wondered what the Spanish language version would have been like had Lugosi simply learned SPANISH phonetically and played the role in BOTH films. Now THAT would have been spectacular. The "superiority" of the Spanish version to the English one has been overstated for years; all things considered I think the Browning/Lugosi version has the slight edge. However, the Spanish version of Dracula has many MANY things to recommend it.

Geung si sin sang (1985) aka Mr. Vampire.

Country of origin: China. Here we have debatably the best example of the wild and wacky world of Chinese ghosts and hopping vampires. It's only rival is Spooky Encounters (down there a little ways). If you haven't experienced Chinese hopping vampires, nothing I can say here will prepare you for it.

Gin Gwai (2002) aka The Eye.

Country of origin: Hong Kong/China. A blind girl gets a cornea transplant from an unknown donor; result being she can suddenly see ghosts. Sort of a Chinese version of The Sixth Sense but more than that. Another spectacular spookfest in the turn-of-the-21st-century Japanese horror boom.

Gui da Gui (1980) aka Spooky Encounters.

Country of origin: China. Another prime example of the delirious world of hopping vampires; this time aided by the slapstick presence of martial arts master Sammo Hung as the cowardly fool who somehow ends up having to do battle with the supernatural (while spying on his philandering wife).

Honogurai mizu no soko kara (2002) aka Dark Water.

Country of origin: Japan. Ever read "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" when you were a kid? This is kind of the Japanese version. A mother and daughter move into a CREEPY apartment building and the patented Japanese ghost story (made famous by Ringu) gets underway. The eeriness of the film is also greatly helped by the performances (which ring SO true).

Ju-on (2000).

Country of origin: Japan. While there are many contenders, this is my choice as the BEST of the Japanese ghost/horror movies of the last decade; better than Ringu and it's many imitators. Whatever you do; avoid the American remake "The Grudge". Despite having the SAME director, the American version is severly blunted. Not only is Ju-on the best of these Japanese horrors but it's also one of the best ghost movies PERIOD.

Kaidan (1964) aka Kwaidan.

Country of origin: Japan. This Oscar-nominated film features four ghost stories; all of them prime examples of ghostly folk tales. It's almost like an Amicus "Tales From the Crypt" transferred to Japan. These are tales told in front of a fire on a winter's night. My favourite of the four stories must be "Hoichi the Earless" which features a beautiful retelling of the famous Heike sea battle before the gripping tale of the blind Hoichi's encounter with the dead. The whole film, however, is stunningly beautiful to look at; it emulates Japanese paintings.

Kairo (2001) aka Pulse.

Country of origin: Japan. Another of the most effective Japanese ghost movies of the past decade, Kairo was slightly lost in the hype surrounding "Ringu" and "Ju-on" but it's right up there with them. Here we have an internet website which can contact the dead. The problem is. . .once you log on to the website, the ghosts become aware of YOU. Incredibly eerie and threatening.

Kumonosu jo (1957) aka Throne of Blood.

Country of origin: Japan. Akira Kurosawa's masterful retelling of Shakespeare's "Macbeth" with the great Toshiro Mifune in the title role. Unbelieveable imagery from the very first frame of riders emerging from the incredibly dense, ghostly white fog. And later when those birds suddenly fly into the throne room. . .Wow! Probably the best filmic representation of what would happen if Burnam Wood were REALLY to come to Dunsinane.

Kung Fu (2004) aka Kung Fu Hustle.

Country of origin: China. The word that best describes this film is "RIOTOUS". Bruce Lee meets Looney Tunes by way of Quentin Tarantino. Hilariously inventive with spectacular special effects and martial arts stuntwork, this delirious movie has everything.

Las luchadoras contra la momia (1964) aka Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy.

Country of origin: Mexico. This is without doubt the GREATEST Mexican wrestler monster rally movie ever made. The only thing it doesn't have is Santo. Other than that, it's a nuthouse joy from start to finish. There's also no describing this film if you're unfamiliar with the Mexican wrestler monster movies of the 60's and 70's. This is a world where superheroic wrestling women saving the world from evil monsters suddenly take time out to fight a wrestling match. It all makes PERFECT sense, doesn't it?

Well, this is the FIRST half of my list of foreign language film faves. Stay tuned for the conclusion.