H.P. LOVECRAFT'S THE OLD ONES (2024)

 "STILL A TRACE OF THAT PRIMORDIAL OOZE COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS."  

 It's about time we got a little of that HPL up in dis blog for the Countdown to Halloween!  This newish Lovecraft film came out this year from director Chad Ferrin and it's an extremely low budget affair.  This means I cut it a LOT of slack.  Apparently Ferrin also gave us another HPL film 4 years ago called H.P. LOVECRAFT'S THE DEEP ONES which I totally missed but need to hunt down.  Now, Ferrin also directed a little film called EXORCISM AT 60,000 FEET which I absolutely loved but that one looks to have had a much bigger budget and some name stars including Lance Hendriksen, Adrienne Barbeau, Kevin J. O'Connor and Bill Moseley.  That one was a real enjoyable hoot and, as I say, I loved it.  This one here is an entirely different kettle of fish (pun intended, natch) as it's made with a budget that would probably buy you two Happy Meals at the Innsmouth Mickey D's.  The acting is -- shall we say -- pretty amateurish (although the wonderful Kelli Maroney is on hand for some name recognition amongst us horror fans.  The monsters are of the rubber suit and rubber mask variety but they are quite good, for that, and a heckuva lot of fun.  So, of course, we have to be a little more understanding when 'rating' a movie like this.

A father and son are out camping by a river when the pull from the water a corpse of an old guy.  He's got no pulse . . . but suddenly sits up.  He is an old sea captain named Russell Marsh (played by Robert Miano -- who was also in EXORCISM AT 60,000 FEET) who starts ranting and raving about "the old ones" who are coming.  Marsh (who says he's 155 years old and has had an 'old one' inside him for years) pleads with the two men to get him as far away from the water as possible and drop him off probably somewhere like the Sahara Desert.  The father goes off to call for an ambulance and promptly gets mauled by one of the 'fishy folk' emerging from the water.  Kelli Maroney appears in a puff of CGI smoke, looking all decayed and corpsey/spookified as Zadok who gives Marsh a raft of doo doo about something or other. 

A fishy monster appears and Marsh axes it in the mouth.  Zadok collapses and evaporates.  Marsh and the boy Gideon (Benjamin Philip in his only film role) take the dead father's Jeep and head into the town of Finley.  Marsh has gone from a feeble, frightened, quivering old man to a sarcastic, badass in a matter of moments here.  In the town of Finley, the pair meet a guy named . . . . Finley who "felt" Marsh's presence.  This is when Marsh says that line I put up there at the beginning of this post regarding all the icky ooze in his blood.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that all this time Marsh is carrying around the decapitated head of the monster he killed.  Marsh needs some answers from Finley but first he plunges what looks like a rib bone into Finley's round belly and collects the blood in a green glass fish jar. 

OK, that's the first time I've ever written a sentence like THAT.  It appears Finley is harboring an 'old one' inside him and Marsh has released the old one into the jar; freeing the Finley human.  Marsh pours the blood onto the severed monster head (which he has previously dumped in a trash bag) and the head comes back to life.  Marsh asks where Tillinghast is and the severed head/Mr. Finley/Old One says "Tillinghast resonator will not help you!".  Yeah!!!!!  That's the resonator that was in FROM BEYOND!!!!  Awesome sauce!  Yes, it's probably time to  let you know that this movie is not an adaptation of any particular Lovecraft story but instead gathers bits and pieces from a lot of HPL's work.  Said severed monster noggin advises Marsh that he'll instead need 'the crawling chaos'.  Nyarlathotep to you.  "Glorious!  Hail the Great Old One!" 

I mean, none of this makes much sense but it's a fun ride that's keeps moving along in an entertain fashion.  Besides the aforementioned 'rubber suit monsters', there is also a fair amount of really nice practical effects and they really look good.  This is a prime case of doing a lot with a little.  Keep in mind, also, there is intentional humour here so things don't get too over-earnest.  Rico E. Anderson (as Nyarlathotep) in particular plays his character with a wicked wit; at one point, calling off his monstrous ghasts with an exasperated "Kids!  Right?"  Elli Rahn as the wired-up, demented Tillingast is arch and twisted and Jon Budinoff as Nadine (in his waitress uniform and green eye shadow) are particular stand-outs.  And in his house, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.  And in this movie, a fun time awaits those with a high tolerance for low-low budget horror flicks and a love for Lovecraft.  I've seen a lot worse.  

SUITABLE FLESH (2023)

 "THE FUTURE IS FEMALE"

  Here we have last year's directorial turn by Joe Lynch, the great and powerful.  Director of WRONG TURN 2 and star of VICTOR CROWLEY, DIGGING UP THE MARROW and the wonderful HOLLISTON telly series.  Participator in many of Adam Green's annual Halloween short films and all around beacon of the universe.  Yes, THAT Joe Lynch.  Here Lynch adapts for the screen (with the help of frequent HPL screenwriter Dennis Paoli) H.P. Lovecraft's "THE THING ON THE DOORSTEP". 

Before we start, I'd like to say how nice and refreshing it is to have a film based on this story in favour of HPL's other well-known and frequently adapted stories.  I can't think of another film version of "THE THING ON THE DOORSTEP" off-hand.  But here we have it and SUITABLE FLESH has, dare I say it, a lot of the fun and irreverence of those Stuart Gordon HPL movies which . . . oh, fancy that . . . Dennis Paoli also wrote.  I can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy  (or is that clammy and slimy) inside when watching this film because, with Stuart Gordon gone, I didn't think we'd get another quite like those.  But here it is -- not a carbon copy of Gordon's HPL films by any means.  In fact, they are tonally quite different but the 'spirit' of those movies such as THE RE-ANIMATOR, DAGON, FROM BEYOND etc. can be found a little bit in SUITABLE FLESH.  And that's all BEFORE mentioning that Barbara Crampton is in it!!!!  I just have an enormous amount of goodwill towards this film!

Heather Graham plays psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Derby who is barged in upon by a frantic young man named Asa Waite (Judah Lewis) who says his father is trying to take over his body.  Then, after suffering an apparent seizure, Asa recovers and is seemingly rational and calm.  But Asa seems to be acting differently; dismissive and rude. 

Another seizure finds Asa once again the twitchy, hysterical young guy who first came into Dr. Derby's office.  Asa gives Beth his address and pleads with her to come home with him so he can stop/kill his father before the old man takes him over completely (on the third try).  Beth refuses.  Later, after a frantic phone call from Asa, Beth shows up at the Waite house and encounters an apparently dying old Ephraim Waite (Bruce Davison).  Beth gives him his heart medicine and Ephraim  reveals himself to be a nasty, rude man -- kinda how Asa was acting in between his seizures.  Ephraim also has a Necronomicon-y book on his desk.  With everything you've read up until now, I'm sure what's happening here will be no surprise to you.  There is an ancient evil entity who exists throughout time by possessing people's bodies (like a malevolent Boston Brand).  

Co-producer Barbara Crampton (who also stars as Beth's best friend psychiatrist Daniella Upton) asked screenwriter Dennis Paoli if he had anything 'sitting on his shelf' that he never got to make with Stuart Gordon and Paoli pulled out a script for "THE THING ON THE DOORSTEP" which Crampton read and promptly snapped up.  She then asked Joe Lynch if he'd care to direct the film.  After getting a 'cine-boner' (as Lynch so aptly describes his reaction), Lynch asked Paoli if they could change the all-male HPL story and make the lead characters female instead.  This, I think, was a stroke of genius which also gave Heather Graham and Barbara Crampton the chance to really own this picture.  Judah Lewis as Asa is also very good here and I can't believe I only previously know him from the Netflux CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES movies!  But this really is Graham and Crampton's show.  Of course, it's ALWAYS a treat to see Bruce Davison on hand; the veteran actor of WILLARD and THE LATHE OF HEAVEN.  He is nicely distasteful as the evil Ephraim.  Joe Lynch's directing is pretty much spot on; keeping the story going at a nice clip while also getting great performances from his entire cast (which also includes Johnathon Schaech of WELCOME TO WOOP WOOP as Beth's husband Ed).  Another REALLY nice directorial flourish is Lynch's use of such unused old standbys like irises or split-screens; however not in a gratuitous way but purposefully used to compliment the story and what's happening on screen.  SUITABLE FLESH was such a nice surprise and a pleasure to watch!  Great movie, Joe!  Make more!

COLOR OUT OF SPACE (2019)

 WELCOME BACK, RICHARD STANLEY!  

One of my favourite authors is H.P. Lovecraft.  I probably first read one of his stories when I was a kid back in the 1970s in an anthology here or there.  There's a good chance I read something like THE OUTSIDER or RATS IN THE WALLS but certainly nothing from the so-called "Cthulhu Mythos" stories until many years later in the mid-1980s when I was in college.  I bought and read "The Best of H.P. Lovecraft":  this one, in fact. 

I fell in love immediately with every story and quickly bought up all the HPL I could find.  To this day, my favourite Lovecraft story is probably THE COLOUR OUT OF SPACE (or else THE SHADOW OVER INNSMOUTH sometimes).  I'll tell you honestly COLOUR freaked me out enough that for months after reading it, I was uneasy being under the nighttime sky.  I was genuinely creeped out and if that ain't an example of some terrific writing, I don't know what is.  But how can you film COLOUR?!?!?  When a strange meteor falls out of the sky and lands on Nahum Gardner's farm, the story explains that "colour" emerging from it is not a colour at all; that's just the nearest word that approximates whatever it is.  How do you depict something like that on the screen; something that's totally indescribable?  In fact, that's the difficulty with most of Lovecraft's stories; almost all of them contain something that is "indescribable" so how do you film it?  That's why all Lovecraft stories are nearly impossible to adapt to film.  COLOUR has been adapted several times already:  the Boris Karloff starrer DIE, MONSTER, DIE, the Wil Wheaton starrer THE CURSE and the 2010 DIE FARBE.  Of all these, the latter film is the most successful.  But here we have Richard Stanley, the "cursed" Richard Stanley, returning to make his first feature film in a couple decades and having been nearly destroyed by his experiences on THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU.  And what does he make as his return to the director's chair?  A nearly unfilmable Lovecraft film!  I can only congratulate him on his success!

There are quite a few differences between COLOR OUT OF SPACE and the original story.  For one thing, it takes place in the present.  This, I think, works in the film's favour as it frees up the narrative from the constraints of a period piece and makes it more relatable.  There are also many things which are very true to the story as the film basically unfolds in the same way the story does.  We get the meteor being repeatedly struck by lightning, we get the well, we get the strangely humongous fruit and vegetables which don't taste good.  The one complaint I have with the movie is that we don't get the slow rot of everything then turning to a grey powder.  At least not until the very end.  But I miss the slow detereorization and would've liked to see the vegetation and the house slowly turning to grey dust.  Other than that, COLOR OUT OF SPACE does an admirable job of adapting Lovecraft and the sense of cosmic horror that was his specialty.  The cast is all excellent. 

Nicolas Cage thankfully gives an appropriate performance and lays off the VAMPIRE'S KISS/WICKER MAN shenanigans; he only resorts to a toned-down bonkers-ness when called for.  Joely Richardson is also great as Mrs. Gardner and makes a nice acting foil to Cage.  Elliot Knight as our narrator/hydrologist Ward Phillips is excellent as well and needs to get more acting work!  Madeleine Arthur, Brendan Meyer and Julian Hilliard are also quite good as the kids; although young Hilliard gives essentially the same performance he gave in THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE -- that is, standing outside staring at the "color" as he stood outside staring at ghosts in the Netflix series.  No biggie though -- he's a kid, he ain't Laurence Olivier!  Hell, even Tommy Chong is great as Ezra the squatter hippy hermit; playing it straight except for the humour which comes from the script itself.  This is quite a good stab at THE COLOUR OUT OF SPACE and rates in the upper tier of HPL film adaptations to date. 

A BIT OF LOVECRAFTIANA FROM CASTLE OF FRANKENSTEIN # 18.

LEE-A-THON MOVIE OF THE DAY NO. 16

CITY OF THE DEAD!  

The first pseudo Amicus film with heavy Lovecraftian touches in a town full of fog and witches!  For my original write-up on the film during my 2007 Countdown to Halloween, click here.  

LOCKED IN A RUBBER ROOM AT ARKHAM

OH MY!  IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED!  In an effort to thwart my Halloween madness, those creeps at Arkham Asylum for the Insane have managed to declare me loopy! 

But they will never keep me from completing the Halloween Countdown.  They may THINK they've gotten me caged . . . but the slumbering Old Ones will set me free.  Oh, yes.  And then, when I am once more unleashed on a sleepy world, I shall continue the mind-blasting horror that is the Countdown to Halloween.  Ia!  Ia!  Yog Sothoth!

THE HAUNTED LIBRARY

OUR HONORARY LIBRARIAN FOR THIS COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN  --  BARON WEIRWULF  -- HAS DEMANDED WE RAISE THE LITERACY BAR ON THIS BLOG. 

So therefore, he has recommended a handful of nicely spooky horror stories for October bedtime reading.  The late lamented Horrormasters.com may be gone but it still exists in ghostly form via the Internet Archive which has saved the site and all the horror stories thereon.  So here are a few of our favourite horror stories (by no means not a complete reading list) which we highly recommend for Halloween perusal.  Merely click on a title and it will transport you to the story itself so you can read it online.

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER by Edgar Allan Poe

THE MINISTER'S BLACK VEIL by Nathaniel Hawthorne

THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW by Washington Irving

THE COLOUR OUT OF SPACE by H.P. Lovecraft

WHAT WAS IT? by Fitz-James O'Brien

THE UPPER BERTH by F. Marion Crawford

LOT NO. 249 by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

THE YELLOW WALLPAPER by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

OH, WHISTLE AND I'LL COME TO YOU, MY LAD by M.R. James

THE BECKONING FAIR ONE by Oliver Onions

 

"SO THROUGH ENDLESS TWILIGHTS I DREAMED AND WAITED THOUGH I KNEW NOT WHAT I WAITED FOR." CASTLE FREAK (1995) is another in a string of H. P. Lovecraft film adaptation directed by Stuart Gordon. Probably best known for his HPL adaptation THE RE-ANIMATOR, Stuart Gordon has had a lot to lay down on celluloid as far as Lovecraft goes. Along with THE RE-ANIMATOR, Gordon's best HPL film has got to be DAGON (2001); one of the most successful HPL films ever made. CASTLE FREAK is not in the same league; but it is however an interesting, quiet little Lovecraftian film that's better than it has a right to be. Brought to you by the (mostly direct-to-video) folks at Richard Band's Full Moon Productions, CASTLE FREAK cannot be called an "adaptation" of H. P. Lovecraft's celebrated short story "The Outsider"; instead it can be called more accurately "inspired by" the story. For CASTLE FREAK doesn't take anything from the actual "storyline" of the story (if there can be said to be much of one anyway) but instead gives us the "impression" of "The Outsider" while still going off in an entirely different direction. The one and only scene directly from the short story is when the "creature" sees his reflection for the first time in a mirror. But, other than this, the entire film (by screenwriter Dennis Paoli) is new territory.

The story opens at the Castle D'Orsini (a beautiful, real life Italian location by the way) where an old woman (the Duchess D'Orsini) hacks off a couple slices of dry-cured meat (one likes to think it's soppressata) and a scrawny piece of bread which she brings to her son Giorgio: a deformed monstrosity chained naked in a dark dungeon cell. A nice touch occurs when the old woman places the plate on the floor in order to unlock the cell; a cat starts to nibble at the meager meal and the old woman makes no attempt to stop it. Not exactly concerned with her son's welfare, the old woman promptly whips him bloody with a cat o'nine tails before every meal. She then promptly staggers back to her bedroom and dies. Her body goes undiscovered for quite some time; and her chained son goes hungry all the while. Finally, real estate agents track down the old woman's last remaining relative: John Reilly (Jeffrey Combs), his wife Susan (RE-ANIMATOR's Barbara Crampton) and their blind daughter Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide) who take up residence in the 700 year old Italian castello. The family atmosphere is a little strained. They are all still recovering from the fact that John has killed his young son and blinded his daughter in a car accident caused by his own drunk driving. While exploring the old castle, Rebecca unknowingly unlocks the cell containing the deformed, chained Giorgio. Later, the starving Giorgio devours the cat and then bites off his own thumb in order to slip out of his wrist shackles. He then wraps himself in a sheet and prowls the castle; just keeping out of sight of all the inhabitants. At one point, Giorgio enters the sleeping Rebecca's room at night and finds his lifelong sexual yearnings welling up inside of him -- but he is interrupted before anything can happen. However, it is later discovered that Giorgio's mother has long ago castrated him as a sort of skewed punishment for his father -- who abandoned them and ran off with the Duchess's sister to America. Yes, John Reilly is really Giorgio's half brother. A series of gruesome murders committed by the unseen Giorgio convinces the local constabulary that John Reilly is the culprit. It all leads to a standoff between the ghoulish Giorgio and the haggard John atop the rainswept parapets of Castello D'Orsino.

CASTLE FREAK is remarkably restrained for a 1990s low budget horror flick put out by the b-movie company Full Moon. Stuart Gordon films Dennis Paoli's script with an plot-serving economy. Famously, there is only one instance of totally gratuitous and unnecessary gore: the notorious nipple-biting scene which the SPX folks at Optic Nerve bring off with sickening realism. Paoli insists that he didn't write in the blood and gore of that scene; gently implicating director Stuart Gordon. Jeffrey Combs also states that he "...hated that. It was very disturbing and mean." Does this scene ruin the whole movie. Well, no. It just seems to be totally unnecessary and, perhaps, was placed there because the rest of the movie was probably thought to be "too tame" for modern horror fans. Thus confusing once again the difference between real "horror fans" and fans of tedious and boring gore. But apart from this admittedly mean-spirited but thankfully brief scene, the rest of CASTLE FREAK is a quite interesting examination of the themes concerning the "dark" and "light" sides of every human being. In a way, the grotesque creature chained in the castle dungeon could be seen to represent the "darker nature" of John Reilly (his half brother) which causes his irresponsible alcoholism and, ultimately the death of his own son and the blinding of his daughter. The guilt inside John Reilly is chained away deep in some dark place as much as Giorgio is chained away in his cell. The only possible outcome of the film would have to be the ultimate confrontation between John and Giorgio.

Far from his portrayal of Herbert West, Jeffrey Combs plays John Reilly as a tortured and broken man; even at one point contemplating suicide over the terrible things he's done. The inherent weakness in the character is wrestled with thoughout most of the film's running time. Barbara Crampton is appropriately shut down emotionally and extremely cold toward her husband while, at the same time, fussily overprotective of her remaining child Rebecca. Interestingly, in the film's final act Crampton takes on the role of traditional horror heroines like Jamie Lee Curtis (in HALLOWEEN) or Sigourney Weaver (in ALIEN) as she tries to defend her daughter against the slavering ghoul while John is away locked up in prison. The rest of the cast is adequate in their lesser roles while Jonathan Fuller as Giorgio (in rather impressive ghoul makeup by Optic Nerve) cuts quite an imposing figure in the ranks of monsterdom; never merely a clunky creature but one which demonstrates emotional depth and confusion. And the filming on location in Italy (and particularly the castle itself) make the film look much better than the usual low-budget effort. CASTLE FREAK is not the best H. P. Lovecraft film "adaptation" by a long chalk but nor is it anything like the worst. Stuart Gordon has done a respectable job bringing one more HPL flick to the haunted screen.

THE MIST: IS IT THE BEST STEPHEN KING HORROR FILM??? The movies made from Stephen King's horror fiction have notoriously been pretty dismal: we're talkin' THE LAWNMOWER MAN, CHRISTINE, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, CHILDREN OF THE CORN, SLEEPWALKERS....the list goes on and they're dogs all. The movies made from his non-horror work (STAND BY ME, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, MISERY) -- kinda a lot better, I'd say. But for some reason King's horror fiction (for which he is obviously best known) have resulted in some piss-poor movies; this is the opinion of the author himself, by all accounts. My nominee for the best film of a Stephen King horror novel has always been the 1979 TV adaptation of SALEM'S LOT starring David Soul and James Mason and directed by Tobe Hooper. It certainly is the most enjoyable. The 1990 TV movie of STEPHEN KING'S IT starring Tim Curry as a magnificent Pennywise the Clown features a terrific first half (like SALEM'S LOT, IT was shown over two nights in two parts) and a huge letdown in the second half. The other actual "theatrically-released" movies which generally have been considered the most successful are THE SHINING starring Jack Nicholson and CARRIE starring Sissy Spaceship and a magnificent Piper Laurie. While my feelings toward THE SHINING have improved in recent years (meaning I quite like the film), it isn't really Stephen King's THE SHINING but instead it's Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING which departs quite radically from the source novel (by general consensus). And CARRIE is simply OK; nothing particularly great saddled with a . . . well, should I come out and call him a hack . . . director. The trouble with THE SHINING and CARRIE is that both are directed by directors of which I am not very fond: Stanley Kubrick and Brian DePalma. However, such has been the state of Stephen King horror movies that I've held them in the #2 and #3 places as the best following SALEM'S LOT. 2007's THE MIST directed by Frank Darabont changes everything.

Here they MAY be spoilers so if you haven't read the novella or seen the film, you might wanna go watch it before reading this. Made on an apparent shoestring -- starring a cast of mostly unknowns (with a couple exceptions) -- THE MIST is probably the best screen adaptation of a Stephen King horror story. Now, I've gone on record before as not being a particular Stephen King fan; I've only read one novel (SALEM'S LOT), a couple short story collections (NIGHT SHIFT and SKELETON CREW) and the excellent non-fiction DANCE MACABRE. However, I have read the novella THE MIST and have always liked it very much. It's a terrific story, in fact, of a small Maine town (Maine, as everyone knows, is like Stephen King's "Arkham" -- and that H.P. Lovecraft reference will NOT be the last one in this post) which is suddenly blanketed by an opaque mist inside which there be monsters. Now, it's been about a decade and a half (or more) since I've read the novella but I found Frank Darabont's film (which he wrote as well as directed) to be very faithful to the novella. However, be warned. While SALEM'S LOT may be a lot of fun, THE MIST isn't; it's an extremely grim and harrowing movie which tied my guts in knots. Not because of the monsters but because of the too-real portrayal of typical mob mentality. Confronted with the unknown and threatening, the ordinary folks trapped in the supermarket quickly (and I mean VERY quickly) turn into superstition-fueled, reptile-brain-functioning reactionary monsters which are frankly more frightening to me than the slimy creatures outside in the mist! The most problems are caused, of course, by the more-and-more unhinged radical religious zealot Mrs. Carmody (brilliantly portrayed by Marcia Gay Harden -- in fact SO brilliantly portrayed that I hated her guts!) who seems to regard God as the wrathful, vengeful fuckhead stomping around the Old Testament instead of the God of love we more-reasonable people seem to think He is. Mrs. Carmody views the mist monsters as God's wrath brought down upon the supposedly sinful inhabitants of the town. Of course, the visible evidence of townsfolk sinning only starts when egged on by Mrs. Carmody who quickly manages to whip up the mob into committing beatings and attempting to throw a child to the monsters as a "blood sacrifice" appeasement -- all the while quoting the Bible story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac -- and conveniently forgetting that God prevented Abraham from doing it. James Mason made the same mistake in the 1956 Nicholas Ray film BIGGER THAN LIFE; of course, his character is seriously mentally ill and addicted to cortisone. When Mason's wife correctly points out that God stopped Abraham from stabbing his son, Mason shouts out the typical cry of a hypocritical religious zealot seriously devoid of the facts: "Then God was WRONG!" Marcia Gay Harden's Mrs. Carmody is something of a cross between James Mason's BIGGER THAN LIFE character and Piper Laurie's mother from CARRIE. And boy, did I hate her during the film. What a well done acting job, then! Probably my favourite moment in the film is when Mrs. Carmody is pontificating some particularly nasty rubbish and is hit in the forehead by a can of peas thrown by the beloved actress Frances Sternhagen! Stoning people who piss you off, Sternhagen says, is quite appropriate. After all, it's in the Bible! And she's got plenty of cans of peas left! Brilliant!

But let's get to the leading man: Thomas Jane plays the father and husband who takes his young son (Nathan Gamble) and feuding neighbour (Andre Braugher) into town to the supermarket after a freakishly violent storm the night before has cut the town's power and sent a tree hurtling through his picture window. Unfortunately for her, the wife and mother is left behind at their house. Before leaving, they notice a thick, white, opaque mist rolling in over the lake. By the time they get to the supermarket (packed with townspeople also getting supplies), a man comes running into the store bleeding from the nose and screaming about monsters in the mist. As the mist closes in on the front windows of the supermarket, a customer decides to make a run for his car, is engulfed in the mist and begins screaming horribly. The townsfolk decide it might be a good idea to stay inside the store. A mother announces that she HAS to leave since she's left her 8 year old daughter watching her even younger son and has no choice. This mother is played by unknown local actress Melissa Suzanne McBride and she is absolutely showstopping! Someone needs to give this actress work pronto! Her desperate yet quiet pleading for someone to go with her into the mist falls on deaf ears as she challenges first one person and then another to "walk a lady home". No one volunteers and the mother goes off into the mist alone. The funniest part about all this is that, somehow, at the end of the film we see her and her two children made it! This one small scene so impressed everyone on set that they broke into spontaneous applause.

The store's electrical generator conks out and a group goes back to the store's loading dock to fix it. While back there, huge tentacles slither under the loading dock door and drag a stock boy to his death. While the group (lead by Thomas Jane) tries to convince everyone that there really ARE monsters in the mist, another group (lead by Andre Braugher) thinks they're playing a sick joke and there's nothing out there. Sadly, Braugher gets a group together to venture out into the mist and get help and they're never seen again. When night falls, huge insect-like monsters fly up against the glass storefront. Even larger pterodactyl-like flying creatures, trying to gobble up the insects on the glass, break through and wind up in the store causing more carnage! A man set alight by makeshift torches suffers so much pain that a group (again led by leading man Thomas Jane) decides to venture next door to the pharmacy for some painkillers and antibiotics. Inside the pharmacy, they discover monstrous webs inside which is a previously-seen MP who tells them this was all caused by a secret government/military project nearby -- right before his entire body explodes with baby spiders. The HUGE spider-monsters who laid the eggs inside the MP attack the group and Frances Sternhagen again shows the stuff she's made of by cobbling together a makeshift flame flower from a lighter and an aerosol spray can. The group makes it back into the supermarket with quite a few less members than they left with. Things get worse and worse. As I said, this film is a very grim affair and their are deaths (and suicides) galore! As the movie unspools, the viewer is left with the sickening sensation that maybe nobody's going to get out alive. And there is quite some justification in this feeling. As things look bleaker, Mrs. Carmody's followers grow more numerous until the saner group led by Thomas Jane decide to leave before their resident Jim Jones starts doling out the kool-aid. Mrs. Carmody's Stepford shitheads discover they're planning to leave and try to stop them. Mrs. Carmody even demands they throw Thomas Jane's young son to the monsters in order to save themselves.

Aside from the top notch writing and directing by Frank Darabont, the acting of the entire cast is universally excellent. Thomas Jane (an actor I'm completely unfamiliar with) makes a great leading man; he has a screen presence which makes him quite watchable and the actor deserves more high-profile roles. Andre Braugher is terrific as usual as the skeptical neighbour; it's only too sad that he's gone from the picture before the first hour of screentime is up. Laurie Holden plays Amanda -- a young schoolteacher who may be a potential love interest for Thomas Jane. . .if they all survive, that is. Holden is also extremely well-cast and does a fine acting job demonstrating both strength and vulnerability. The smaller roles are filled with a bunch of fine if little known actors lead by the always wonderful Frances Sternhagen. While I'm still not much of a fan of CGI, the copious special effects are rather well-done (especially considering the film's relatively low budget) and veteran "head exploder" Greg Nicotero is also on hand to provide the appropriate grisly gore. Particularly impressive is the special effect of the mist itself rolling into town. Things like mist or fog or water etc. are notoriously hard to pull off effectively in CGI but here the mist rolls in very realistically over cars and buildings. The monsters are also fairly convincing. I mentioned H.P. Lovecraft earlier and there is, in fact, a little bit of a Lovecraftian feel to both King's original novella and this film. The "government project" nearby which apparently caused all this mess opened a portal to another dimension through which came the mist and these monsters. Other dimensional cosmic creepies is a very Lovecraftian concept and, toward the end of the film when our small group has left the supermarket and is driving through the mist they see a huge, tentacled monster stomp across the landscape which can ONLY be described as "Lovecraftian". This is a nice touch -- although the CGI monster should've been MUCH huger, I think. As I said, THE MIST is a grim and downbeat movie which makes it more of an ordeal to watch than a funfest. And just when you think things CAN'T get any worse or more depressing. . .there's the ending of the film! However, it is an extremely well-done adaptation of a great Stephen King story and for that -- while it's probably not a movie to watch over and over -- it is still probably the best screen adaptation of any of Stephen King's horror fiction.

A VIEWERS' GUIDE TO THE SECOND SEASON OF NIGHT GALLERY: PART THE SECOND. It's time to resume our look at the rest of Season Two and we begin things most auspiciously with the second and final H. P. Lovecraft adaptation of the series:

• COOL AIR was adapted by Rod Serling from the original Lovecraft story with the ever-reliable Jeannot Swarc directing. The episode is quite justifiably one of the most memorable with nice writing from Serling and some accomplished camera moves by Swarc. Of course, it concerns Dr. Munoz (Henry Darrow of some 97 episodes of HIGH CHAPPARAL) as a fellow who MUST keep cool in his air-conditioned apartment (for scary reasons we will discover) as he strikes up a relationship with Barbara Rush (from IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE and WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE). Rush is particularly good in her role. Things really heat up (pun intended) when the Victorian air-conditioning system breaks down -- and so does Dr. Munoz. My rating: 4 skulls.

• CAMERA OBSCURA is another nice one concerning an old inventor (Ross Martin of THE WILD, WILD WEST) teaching a penurious moneylender (a very young Rene Auberjonois) a lesson. Martin shows the banker his camera obscura (a roof-mounted optical device which projects the outside world onto a viewing table) and then takes him on a winding walk through the walls of his house to a "special" camera obscura -- in which he traps Auberjonois inside a green-tinted otherworldly place of zombie-ghouls who didn't live good lives (a la Jacob Marley in Dickens' A CHRISTMAS CAROL). Beautifully acted by the two leads, the episode also features nice direction by John Badham and some great "zombie" makeup on the vengeful spirits. My rating: 4 skulls.
• QUOTH THE RAVEN is another of those Jack Laird specialties: a short, comic blackout featuring comedian Marty Allen as Edgar Allan Poe having a disagreement with that raven perched above his chamber door. Master voice artist Mel Blanc quoths for the raven in an unbilled cameo. Dismal and unfunny. My rating: 1 skull.

• THE MESSIAH ON MOTT STREET is one of the most famous and best episodes of NIGHT GALLERY. And for good reason. This is one that should be dragged out every Christmas and Hanukkah. Don Taylor (who also helmed the nearly-as-good first season episode "THEY'RE TEARING DOWN TIM RILEY'S BAR") directs Rod Serling's superb (and very Twilight Zone-like) script sensitively and serves the teleplay well. That teleplay, of course, concerns a sick old man and his little grandson living in a ghetto trying to hold their lives together aided (as much as he can) by a young doctor. There is some real danger that the boy will be taken away from the grandfather or even that the old man will die from pneumonia. If only, grandpa tells the boy, the messiah would come to Mott Street and make everything better. The old man takes a turn for the worse and the boy takes to the wintery streets searching for the messiah -- and appears to find him. Not only is the episode superbly written and directed but it is beautifully acted by a perfect cast. Screen titan Edward G. Robinson is magnificent as he makes the viewer feel each wracking cough as well as the old man's tenacious reserves of strength and irreverent Jewish wit. Never a fan of child actors, I will say that Ricky Powell as grandson Mikey is really quite good; never saccharine and always watchable. Tony Roberts (veteran of several Woody Allen movies including STARDUST MEMORIES) is also quite superb as Dr. Levine. Then we come to Yaphet Kotto (ACROSS 11oth STREET, FRIDAY FOSTER and ALIEN) who is absolutely perfect as the angelic, could-be messiah. The gravity Kotto brings to his role (as well as the humanity) is truly remarkable. I think the episode avoids any and all sappiness and gets right to the heart of hope; something Serling more often than not could achieve in many a teleplay during his tenure on TWILIGHT ZONE as well as here in this episode of NIGHT GALLERY. Truly, now that it's available on DVD, it should be brought out for the holidays every year to provide a little bit of hope and heart during the dead of winter. My rating: 5 skulls.
• THE PAINTED MIRROR is quite a comedown from the last episode; but not much WOULDN'T be. Gene R. Kearney directs and adapted the Donald Wandrei short story in which an elderly antiques dealer discovers another world behind an old mirror that's been painted over. This episode follows a long tradition of mirrors in the horror genre and, while not spectacular, if told efficiently. The episode is however betrayed once again by a miniscule budget but I still find the oddly painterly other world behind the mirror to be a nice visual. Also on view are the clawed hands from the CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON's costume (NIGHT GALLERY was made by Universal, after all) as well as the usual terrible stock footage of lizards with plastic appliances stuck on their heads doubling for "dinosaurs". Arthur O'Connell (nominated for two Oscars for ANATOMY OF A MURDER and PICNIC) and Rosemary DeCamp (13 GHOSTS) are the elderly couple who exact some satisfying revenge on obnoxious Zsa Zsa Gabor. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE DIFFERENT ONES is something of a riff on that classic TWILIGHT ZONE episode "EYE OF THE BEHOLDER" that featured Donna Douglas with a bandaged face. Dana Andrews (NIGHT OF THE DEMON and LAURA) has a teenage son whose face is horribly deformed. This being the future, the authorities decide, since no operation will fix his face, the young man should travel to a newly-contacted planet which has just established contact with Earth. Pretty much by the first 2 minutes, you can write the episode yourself as the "surprise" ending isn't much of a surprise. Rod Serling's clunker of a teleplay basically rips off himself while the direction by John Meredyth Lucas doesn't particularly shine either. My rating: 1 skull.
• TELL DAVID... finds Sandra Dee lost in a storm and coming upon a strange, futuristic-looking house inhabited by a nice married couple (busy TV actors Jenny Sullivan and Jared Martin). Everything in the house, however, appears odd and unfamiliar (right down to the unknown "Pacific" cigarettes) to Dee. When Dee returns home, she resumes an apparently endless, ongoing fight with her husband (also played by Jared Martin). As Dee keeps returning to the house, she slowly begins to believe that she is somehow going to the future and seeing her own grown-up son (which would explain why the same actor plays both parts) who seems to be trying to warn her about some horrible fate about to happen to her. While nothing special, the episode directed by Jeff Corey from Gerald Sanford's teleplay is kinda compelling and doesn't feel like a waste of time once the viewer gets to the end. My rating: 3 skulls.

• LOGODA'S HEADS is the voodoo/shrunken head episode which features British explorers Patrick ("THE AVENGERS") Macnee and Tim (ANIMAL HOUSE) Matheson traipsing through Africa to find Matheson's missing brother. They are told to see witch doctor Lagoda (Brock Peters of TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD) for some answers. While Lagoda denies everything, a native girl (Denise Nicholas of "ROOM 222" and BLACULA) defies the witch doctor and attempts to help them. This is a rather dopey episode adapted from the August Derleth story by Robert (PSYCHO) Bloch and directed by Jeannot Swarc which is still entertaining to watch probably due to these two men. Also the cast makes it all worthwhile -- although the sight of such a superb actor as Brock Peters loudly chanting jungle gibberish while wearing war paint and feathered headdress recalls the similar sight of George Zucco in VOODOO MAN. There is also a brief appearance by Zara Cully (Mother Jefferson on "THE JEFFERSONS" as well as a similiar voodoo woman performance in SUGAR HILL) as an old native woman. However, the dignity of the actor carries it off. Just. Then again, there's also the appearance of one of my all-time crushes: Denise Nicholas! Her mere presence adds to the watchability quotient tremendously. Therefore my rating is quite generous: 3 skulls.

• GREEN FINGERS is one of those well-remembered episodes that concerns a dotty old woman (Elsa Lanchester) who has such a green thumb she boasts she can grow anything she plants. An unscrupulous developer (Cameron Mitchell) has bought up all the land around her house and the old lady still refuses to sell. Mitchell decides to get the old woman out of the way and hires a thug to scare her off. Unfortunately, the thug is overzealous as he attacks the old woman and cuts off one of her fingers; promising to keep returning and cutting off bits of her until she changes her mind. Delirious from loss of blood, Lanchester plants the finger in her garden and is taken off to the hospital where she dies. But didn't she say she could grow ANYTHING that she planted. . . ? Rod Serling's teleplay is directed by John Badham and makes an all-in-all nice episode. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THE FUNERAL is a daffy comedy segment but not a short vignette which is saved probably because Richard Matheson wrote it and John Meredyth Lucas directed it instead of Jack Laird doing either. It's still dopey, though, but at least one doesn't mind watching it. Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink from HOGAN'S HEROES) is a vampire who never had a good funeral so now he can afford one and wants one. He goes, therefore, to funeral director Joe Flynn (Captain Binghamton on MCHALE'S NAVY) and orders up the best of everything. Unfortunately, he's invited his boisterous monster friends (a witch, a hunchback, assorted vampires, a werewolf...) who turn the respectful funeral service into a monster rally free-for-all! A nice touch finds Jack Laird himself playing Ygor the hunchback in full makeup. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE TUNE IN DAN'S CAFE is an odd one which, when finished watching it, the viewer may find himself scratching his head. A separating married couple played by Pernell Roberts (BONANZA and TRAPPER JOHN, M.D.) and Susan Oliver (Vina from the STAR TREK episode "THE CAGE") stop in a deserted late-night diner and find a haunted jukebox which only plays one song which used to be "the song" of a gangster and his moll. A nice, creepy first half of the episode bodes well but by the end it leaves you wishing there was more to it. Film Editor David Rawlins appears to have had his one and only directing credit on this episode and does a fairly nice job. However, the teleplay by tyro Garrie Bateson adapting the Seamus Frazer story doesn't offer up enough to do anything more with. My rating: 2 skulls.
• LINDEMANN'S CATCH is a really good episode that looks great and fails only in the low budget effects used for the monster. Rod Serling's original script and Jeff Corey's direction are first rate and the cast (led by Stuart Whitman and Harry Townes). Whitman (who appeared in the final and best segment of THE MONSTER CLUB) stars as a ship's captain who nets a real-life mermaid and falls in love with her. Harry Townes (from the Boris Karloff's THRILLER episode "THE CHEATERS") is a local sot who also is a whiz with the tarot cards. Thankfully, the episode is actually shot AT NIGHT! None of the usual "day for night" shooting which mars many a NIGHT GALLERY episode. The fog is laid on nicely as well. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE LATE MR. PEDDINGTON stars the great Kim Hunter as a widow shopping around for the cheapest funeral for her dead husband. She goes to cut-rate mortician Harry Morgan (best known as Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H*). Unfortunately due to her late husband's distaste for rich widows, Hunter cannot inherit anything until she proves she can live on only $2000 for 2 years. This is a longer comedic segment written rather nicely by Jack Laird and directed well by Jeff Corey. However, it's the performances of Hunter and Morgan which are so superb as to raise my rating to: 3 skulls.
• A FEAST OF BLOOD features an obstinate Norman Lloyd (of Orson Welles' Mercury Theater and "ST. ELSEWHERE") trying to marry a stuck-up young blonde Sondra Locke (from countless Clint Eastwood movies) but she's having none of it. Lloyd gives Locke a present of a strange, furry brooch called a "vo-do" which represents the rat-like cousin of the bat family. As soon as we see it, we known immediately that that furry brooch is gonna come to life and cause havoc. So, the fun arises from anticipating just that. Lloyd and Locke both play their characters as unlikeable which adds to the fun. Jeannot Swarc directs and showcases the colour red; especially by dressing the pale, blonde Locke in a bright red coat which makes a striking image as well as an echo of things to come. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THE MIRACLE AT CAMAFEO is another story which features of twist ending that you kinda see coming. Harry Guardino plays an insurance investigator shadowing a man (Ray Danton) he believes is faking paralysis from a bus accident in which he won a large cash settlement. The great Julie (CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON) Adams plays Danton's sympathetic wife in the episode's best performance. The trio finds themselves in a Lourdes-like shrine called Camafeo where the Virgin Mary once appeared and the sick go to be cured. Danton's plan, of course, is to go to the shrine, pretend to be "healed" and walk again; thus getting to keep the money he fraudulently won by pretending to be paralyzed. Of course, the viewer is simply waiting for the crook to get his. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE GHOST OF SORWORTH PLACE finds American Richard Kiley wandering through Scotland and coming upon a spooky old house at Sorworth Place owned by widow Jill Ireland. Her husband's ghost is seen from time to time and it's obviously up to no good. A diverting if unremarkable episode that remains oddly unsatisfying. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE WAITING ROOM is a very Serling-like script by Rod Serling dealing once again with the Western crossed with the supernatural that seems overly familiar but still quite watchable at the same time. Jeannot Swarc directs this tale of notorious gunslinger Steve Forrest (brother of Dana Andrews who appeared in MOMMIE DEAREST) who stops into a saloon where things get ominous. We know he's walked right into the Twilight Zone -- even if this is the Night Gallery. The saloon is packed with well-known character actors: Buddy Ebsen (Jed Clampett of THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES), silent star Gilbert Roland (Gaucho in THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, Dull Knife in John Ford's CHEYENNE AUTUMN and Juan in THE FURIES), Jim Davis (MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL as well as Jock Ewing on TV's "DALLAS"), Albert Salmi (veteran of 3 Twilight Zones as well as THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV) and former Tarzon Lex Barker (THE DEERSLAYER) in his final role. The sum of its parts add up to more than you actually get but nevertheless the episode remains strangely watchable. My rating: 3 skulls.

• LAST RITES FOR A DEAD DRUID is another dopey one which finds Carol Lynley (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and THE NIGHT STALKER) buying a life-sized cursed statue of a druid for her attorney husband Bill Bixby that looks exactly like him. Of course, after the statue is brought home Bixby is having nightmare about the statue moving around and seems to be slowly falling under the druid's hypnotic control. Donna Douglas (Ellie Mae from THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES as well as from THE TWILIGHT ZONE episode "EYE OF THE BEHOLDER") plays Lynley's hoyden friend. This Alvin Sapinsley written, Jeannot Swarc directed episode doesn't really work but it does remind me very much of the recent David Tennant DOCTOR WHO episode "BLINK" in which we find those angel statues with the ability to move around when you're not watching them. In fact, it's so similar that I wonder if the creators of the magnificent DOCTOR WHO episode ever saw this NIGHT GALLERY in their younger days. Of course, the episode is worth a watch because it is silly fun. I mean, where else are you gonna get to see Bill Bixby attempt to roast a live cat on a backyard barbecue grill?!? My rating: 2 skulls.
• DELIVERIES IN THE REAR is a fairly pedestrian retelling (for the umpteenth time) of the Burke and Hare/graverobbing for medical cadavers storyline we've seen so many times before -- and in better form. This unremarkable Serling teleplay is ably directed by Jeff Corey but remains fairly dull. Cornel Wilde (LEAVE HER TO HEAVEN) stars as the surgeon buying up cadavers for his class. The "surprise" ending is all too evident before the opening credits have faded from the screen. My rating: 1 skull.
• STOP KILLING ME is a short comedy vignette written by Jack Laird and directed by Jeannot Swarc in which a nagging woman (Geraldine Page) goes to the police to report her husband is trying to murder her. James Gregory ("BARNEY MILLER" Inspector Luger) plays the policeman. Another unfunny comedy snippet. My rating: 1 skull.
• DEAD WEIGHT is another dud which is carried almost completely by the lead actors Jack Albertson (WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and "CHICO AND THE MAN") and singer Bobby Darin. Darin is a robber who needs to get out of the country quick and goes to exporter Albertson to do it. Another Jack Laird-penned adaptation which goes nowhere fast; the "dead weight" here is the script. My rating: 1 skull.

• I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU - EVER is a big step up from the last few stories. Daniel Haller (THE DUNWICH HORROR) directs this Jack Laird-penned teleplay which finds Lois Nettleton (THE TWILIGHT ZONE episode "THE MIDNIGHT SUN") having it off in the barn with John Saxon (ENTER: THE DRAGON) while her invalid, ill husband Royal Dano (Judge Sternwood in 2 episodes of TWIN PEAKS) wastes away in bed. The lovers are waiting for the husband to die but Nettleton becomes impatient and visits a local witch who carves a voodoo doll of the husband so Nettleton can do away with the guy. The episode boasts really nice production values (for a change) and is superbly acting by the cast. Very moody and atmospheric. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THERE AREN'T ANY MORE MCBANES reminds me very much of Daniel Haller's 1970 film THE DUNWICH HORROR but without the Lovecraftian overtones. Alvin Sapinsley's teleplay is nicely directed by John Newland (who hosted TV's supernatural series "ONE STEP BEYOND" as well as directing several great episodes of THE TWILIGHT ZONE and BORIS KARLOFF'S THRILLER) about a student of demonology (Joel Grey) who conjures up a demonic something which he cannot control. Joel Grey's appearance even resembles that of Dean Stockwell in THE DUNWICH HORROR. A nicely spooky supernatural fun fest that also looks like it got a lot more of the budget up on the screen. Howard Duff plays Grey's rich uncle and first victim while Mark Hamill has a walk on as a delivery boy. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE SINS OF THE FATHERS is a remarkable episode featuring boffo acting from Geraldine Page, Richard Thomas and Michael Dunn as well as a welcome appearance by scream queen extraordinaire Barbara Steele! Jeannot Swarc directs this Halsted Welles script taking place during a famine in 19th century Wales. The local lord has died and his wife Steele is desperately trying to find a "sin-eater" to prevent her husband's soul from being damned to hell. The old tradition of the sin eater is that someone professionally travels around to dine over a corpse; in so doing he will "consume" all the deceased's sins and take them onto himself. Steele sends her servant Michael Dunn (THE BRIDE) to find a sin-eater but the plague and famine in the area thwarts him. He finally comes to the cabin of a sin-eater who is too ill to venture out; Dunn pleads with the sin eater's wife Geraldine Page by telling the starving woman about all the food which will be available if the sin eater will come. She refuses to rouse her ill husband but convinces her terrified son Richard Thomas (John Boy of THE WALTONS) to go to the corpse, pretend to eat the food after he sends everyone out of the room, and to secrete the food inside his robes to bring back with him. That way, he will get to eat but not eat the sins of the corpse since he's brought the food away with him. Geraldine Page's performance is excellent while Richard Thomas quite remarkably portrays the intense starvation and the horrible temptation to eat the food off the corpse. My rating: 4 skulls.
• YOU CAN'T GET HELP LIKE THAT ANYMORE is very reminiscent of several TWILIGHT ZONE's which feature robots who can pass for human. This episode concerns robotic servants who are mistreated by a particularly nasty married couple portrayed with lip-smacking glee by Cloris Leachman (Phyllis from THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW) and Broderick Crawford (BORN YESTERDAY). Leachman is truly delightful as the malicious hag who delights in humiliating and abusing her robot servants. While the eventual comeupance is telegraphed from the start, the performance of Leachman alone makes this one a treat! Jeff Corey directs this Rod Serling teleplay. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE CATERPILLAR is probably one of (if not THE) most famous NIGHT GALLERY episodes ever. And deservedly so. Rod Serling's adaptation of the Oscar Cook short story "BOOMERANG" manages to improve on the original material while Jeannot Swarc reaches probably the apex of his direction on the NIGHT GALLERY series. All you have to tell anyone is that this is the episode with the earwig and they'll know exactly what one you mean. An arrogant, entitled Laurence Harvey is doing a year of service in rain-soaked Borneo along with 66 year old colleage Tom Helmore (VERTIGO) and his young wife (the delightful 4 time NIGHT GALLERY veteran) Joanna Pettet. Harvey has the hots for Pettet but she rebuffs him. A shady character (busy TV actor Don Knight) offers Harvey a way to get the girl: a local earwig that lives on wax is quite fond of the human ear and, for a price, can be inserted into the old man's ear so that it will eat it's way into the brain and kill him. You see, the earwig cannot turn around or back out so it munches it's way around the brain causing horrific pain and torment for a couple weeks until death occurs. Once this premise is set up, it's really not much of a surprise what happens -- however, it's the WAY it happens due to the script, direction and acting which is so great! The cast is absolutely perfect. Laurence Harvey gives a jaw-droppingly incredible performance while Knight, Pettet and, to a lesser extent, Helmore are all excellent. The sets and production values look the best they've ever looked on the series. Hot, humid Borneo during the unending rainy season is wonderfully evoked. My rating: 5 skulls.
• LITTLE GIRL LOST is the final episode of season two and should not be confused with the superior TWILIGHT ZONE episode of the same name. This one is definitely an "also ran" and quite unremarkable. A genius working on some secret government project is a basket case after the death of his young daughter; therefore his addled mind has created a still-living imaginary daughter which he thinks is still there. The government, anxious for the genius to continue his work with nuclear fission, attaches an agent to the man in order to humour him, pretend he thinks the girl is there as well, in order that the man will continue his work for the government. William Windom's performance as the insane genius is really the only thing going for this episode; he is almost as heart-tuggingly endearing as he was in the first season episode "THEY'RE TEARING DOWN TIM RILEY'S BAR". Ed Nelson is quite good as the agent but there's really nothing else noteworthy about the episode. Veteran character actor Ivor Francis (father of Genie Francis of GENERAL HOSPITAL'S "Luke and Laura" fame) is also excellent. My rating: 2 skulls.

Well, there you have it: Season Two of NIGHT GALLERY. We made it! I hope these brief little thumbnail descriptions help to illustrate just what the second seasons contains. The release to DVD is a very welcome event and there are enough really great episodes to make it worthwhile to own. Season Two was really the height of the series with more episodes than Season One and the truncated Season Three which saw the series go from an hour programme to a half hour with less episodes produced. Contrary to popular legend, though, NIGHT GALLERY was never a total failure (as Rod Serling himself apparently believed). Also, it's not true that Serling had "nothing to do" with NIGHT GALLERY other than hosting it; over a third of the episodes were written by Serling and that's something. Serling, of course, did not insist on creative control of the series so naturally he was disappointed and bitter; but NIGHT GALLERY as a series is better than it's usually portrayed and well worth seeking out for any fan of horror.