Sunday, July 30, 2006

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A fool there was and he made his prayer
(Even as you and I!)
To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair
(We called her the woman who did not care),
But the fool he called her his lady fair
(Even as you and I!)
Oh the years we waste and the tears we waste
And the work of our head and hand,
Belong to the woman who did not know
(And now we know that she never could know)
And did not understand!
A fool there was and his goods he spent
(Even as you and I!)
Honour and faith and a sure intent
(And it wasn't the least what the lady meant),
But a fool must follow his natural bent
(Even as you and I!)
Oh the toil we lost and the spoil we lost
And the excellent things we planned,
Belong to the woman who didn't know why
(And now we know she never knew why)
And did not understand!
The fool was stripped to his foolish hide
(Even as you and I!)
Which she might have seen when she threw him aside--
(But it isn't on record the lady tried)
So some of him lived but the most of him died--
(Even as you and I!)
And it isn't the shame and it isn't the blame
That stings like a white hot brand. It's coming to know that she never knew why
(Seeing at last she could never know why)
And never could understand.

-- Rudyard Kipling

Friday, July 28, 2006

FOODIES, FLOCK TO THE BOOB TUBE! Can it be possible that there's something about being on a diet that causes one to obsess about food. Case in point: I am now going to bring up some episodes of TV shows which revolve around food or meals as the main plot device. Sheesh, this guy needs help. No, what he needs is a Krispy Kreme donut and some puddin'! Be that as it may. If I was going to program a day's worth of food/meal themed TV shows, these are some I would choose. (And feel free to add some of your foodie favourites I most likely missed). So here they episode for every hour in the day... Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting1. GOOD TIMES (Season 2) "The Dinner Party": Is the meat loaf made by the Evans' elderly neighbour REALLY made out of dog food? 2. GOOD TIMES (Season 3) "Florida's Protest": The meat Florida buys at her local triflin' supermarket appears to be off! 3. ALL IN THE FAMILY (Season 2): "Edith's Accident": Edith dents a car with a can of Cling Peaches (in heavy syrup!) 4. ALL IN THE FAMILY (Season 4): "Archie Eats and Runs": Edith makes a beef and mushroom stew and possibly gives Archie food poisoning" 5. ALL IN THE FAMILY (Season 1): "The First & Last Supper": The Jeffersons invite the Bunkers to dinner...and Archie doesn't want to go. 6. SOUTH PARK: "Scott Tenerman Must Die": This episode climaxes with Cartman's EXTRA SPECIAL recipe for chili. 7. THE HONEYMOONERS: "A Dog's Life": Ralph wants to market "Kranmar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer"; trouble is, it's dog food. 8. TO THE MANOR BORN: "Episode 17": Audrey goes into production with her "Bee-eater's Honey" 9. THE GOOD NEIGHBORS: "Just My Bill": The Goods try to sell their surplus fruits and vegetables....and nobody's buying. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting10. FUTURAMA: "The Problem with Popplers": Those popplers are crunchy & delicious...and sadly still alive. 11. FUTURAMA: "The 30% Iron Chef": Bender decides to become a chef and enter a cooking contest. 12. TWO'S COMPANY: "The Take-Over Bid": A married butler/cook team bet they can prepare a better dinner than Robert...and steal his job. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting13. FAWLTY TOWERS: "Gourmet Night": Basil decides to host a gourmet dinner night at the hotel 14. M*A*S*H*: "Adam's Rib": Hawkeye has an obsessive craving for barbecue ribs & decides to place a takeout order to Korea 15. ARE YOU BEING SERVED?: "Anything You Can Do": The staff bets they can run the store cafeteria better Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting16. THE DUCHESS OF DUKE STREET: "A Matter of Honor": A desperate friend of Louisa's begs her to prepare a lavish dinner for friends 17. MURPHY BROWN: "My Dinner with Einstein": Murphy agrees to have dinner with a nerdy scientist Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting18. THE BOB NEWHART SHOW: "Over the River & Through the Woods aka Moo Goo Gai Pan": A drunken Thanksgiving ordering Chinese food 19. KATE & ALLIE: "The Family Business": Allie goes into the cake baking business 20. KATE & ALLIE: "Kate & Allie Lobster": Kate & Allie attempt to boil some lobsters 21. RISING DAMP: "Food Glorious Food": Rigsby bets he can go without food for 3 days 22. MARY TYLER MOORE: "The Dinner Party": Mary invites a congresswoman to a disastrous dinner party 23. ALL IN THE FAMILY: "No Smoking": Another bet...that Archie can't quit smoking and Meathead can't quit eating Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting24. THE BOONDOCKS: "The Itis": Granddad opens the only soul food restaurant in Woodcrest...and destroys the town's health. Anyone care to nominate their own food-focused TV show episode??? I'm gonna go get a snack...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

HEY LOOK, KIDS! Watch the original Night Flight Introduction here...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Billy Squier - Rock Me Tonite WITHOUT DOUBT THE BEST VIDEO EVER MADE!!! Experience for yourself the video. The greatest and most sincere thanks to Ms. Henri for the idea!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

THE WALT WHITMAN THEATER on Westfield Avenue in Pennsauken was a beautiful old movie theater that opened in 1927. It was designed in what is called the "Spanish-Moorish" style and was one of those old-time "movie palaces" which were so big in the Depression. One of the men who built it was my great-grandfather; he also built the log cabin homes in Medford Lakes as well as the frozen custard stand in Maple Shade (for all you pop art fans of utilitarian buildings). How often I used to walk by the theatre with my grandmother as a kid (on the way to Thor's drug store); my grandparents lived only a few blocks away at 42nd & Westfield Avenue. I do recall that Moe Howard of the Three Stooges made a personal appearance at the Walt Whitman in the early 70's (not long before his death). It was also one of those OLD theaters that had a Wurlitzer organ. The theater was the first in the Camden area to show "talking pictures". As a kid, I also remember the big hub-bub when that new film "The Exorcist" was playing there. I was, of course, much too young to go see such a scary movie but, as a nascent horror movie fan who watched Dr. Shock every Saturday afternoon, my young mind was intrigued. In 1978, a small electrical fire closed the theater and the license, which came up again in 1979, was not renewed. Around 1981, the venerable old theater was finally torn down so that the town could put up a parking lot. Ah, progress. I hear tell now there is a Walgreen's on the site. Very sad. The theater closed too early for the classic cinema preservationists to save it. But I'll always remember that huge building (which took up the whole block) and the art deco old-fashioned interior. The picture shown here is from around 1965.

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Control yourself, Ms. Henri!!!

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THE BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER! Thus spake Ern of the new Kevin Smith movie: Clerks 2. And you know what. He's right. It's a hoot and a holler, children. Take the whole family. Especially for the bestiality scene.

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But no kiddin' . . . Kevin Smith has redeemed himself after "Jersey Girl" (which, though not QUITE as bad as everyone said it was, STILL pretty much sucked donkey). Clerks 2, on the other hand, is hilarious; and I was prepared for it to be a dog. The movie is actually funny (which is quite a feat for a comedy) while still managing to sneak in some rather poignant moments which avoid becoming saccharine. All in all, I'd say Mr. Smith can continue to make movies as long as he wants; that is, until "Jersey Girl 2" comes out.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

NEW STUFF COMING OUT! NEW STUFF COMING OUT!!! In the next few months there are gonna be some real goodies coming out on DVD -- and you can bet I'm gonna blow my money on them! These are all thangs I've been waiting for and I can't wait to get my greedy little claws on 'em! So here it is: my shopping list for the next few months!
July 25 -
August 1 -
August 15 -
August 22
August 29 -
September 5 -
September 19 -
THE BOB NEWHART SHOW 4th SEASON (Featuring my favourite the Thanksgiving episode "Moo Goo Gai Pan" which I've been waiting for!)
September 26 -
FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY starring Michael Sarrazin
October 3 -
October 31 -
THE VAMPIRE/THE VAMPIRE'S COFFIN double feature (starring German Robles)
November 7 -
WELCOME TO NIGHT FLIGHT! With those words, USA Cable Network ushered in one of the most unique (and sorely missed) television programs on TV. Night Flight was a frequent companion to me in the 80's on late night television. In the words of the "Night Flight Memorial Journal", Night Flight was a "half-televised, half-hallucinated masterwork of television finery" that aired starting at 11PM Friday and Saturday nights all through the 80's (1981-1988 to be exactamundo). The show showed a delirious mix of music videos, odd movies (such as "Reefer Madness" or "Fantastic Planet"), old 50's atomic bomb movies, cartoons, interviews, vintage commercials (like the old game "Mystery Date") and anything else that seemed to take the fancy of obviously addled programmers. The very lateness of the hour combined with the often surreal and off-the-wall choices of subject matter were a perfect combination for viewers either trying to fight insomnia or returning drunken from a wild Saturday night; Night Flight was the perfect way to veg out in front of the TV in your PJ's. Sadly, such an eclectic show could never survive on TV today (and, in fact, has not). Does anyone else remember this bizarre slice of TV history? I'm not sure exactly when I first started watching Night Flight but it was VERY early 80's. The first time I saw the truly bizarre animated 1973 French sci-fi film "Fantastic Planet" or the rock film "Breaking Glass" was on Night Flight. A particular favourite, J-Men Forever, was a film by Firesign Theater's Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman which took 30's serial cliffhangers and re-edited/re-dubbed them (a la "What's Up, Tiger Lily") to make a wacky stoner movie. Here was also the first place I saw that famous B&W blooper of Porky Pig hitting his thumb with a hammer and stuttering "Son of a b-b-b-b-bitch!" Night Flight would also mix up disparate things in one evening's broadcast: Kate Bush's 1979 concert film "Live at the Hammersmith Odeon" could be followed by an old Fleischer Studios "Superman" cartoon from the 30's followed by a short film of the Church of the Sub-Genius followed by Laurie Anderson's 8 minute "O Superman" video followed by an interview with Frank Zappa followed by a collection of "Duck and Cover" 50's PSAs followed by Cat Stevens' animated short film for his song "Moonshadow" followed by a chapter of the old Buster Crabbe "Flash Gordon" serial followed by the silent Melies' film "A Trip to the Moon" followed by.... well, I think you get the picture. The show was 2-4 hours in length and would be immediately repeated when it finished (to take you right thru the night). It's really a tragedy that TV in this day and age is so non-adventurous as to prohibit such an interesting show any airtime whatsoever. The thing that jogged my memory about Night Flight was finding it discussed on the Jump the Shark website where the general consensus is that the show never jumped. I also hear tell that the son of Night Flight's creator is trying to launch DVD's of the show; that would be a nice surprise and a treasure to we bloodshot-eyed night zombies who soared along through the night along with that Night Flight logo (and the seductive disembodied voice of announcer Pat Prescott seen below) in those dim, daffy nights of the 1980's: when it was still OK for TV to be experimental, unexpected and out of the mainstream. *Sigh*

Sunday, July 16, 2006

THE ANSWERS TO THE 2ND MOVIE QUIZ: Here they are. Officially: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting1) Bette Davis - Now, Voyager 2) Katharine Hepburn - On Golden Pond 3) Mia Farrow - Rosemary's Baby 4) Barbra Streisand - On A Clear Day You Can See Forever Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting5) Joan Crawford - The Women Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting6) Thelma Ritter - All About Eve Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting7) Bette Davis - Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? 8) Carol Burnett - The Four Seasons 9) Anne Bancroft - Fatso Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting10) Maria Ouspenskaya - The Wolf Man Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting11) Lauren Bacall - The Big Sleep 12) Diane Keaton - The Godfather Part 2 Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting13) Pam Grier - Coffy Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting14) Lillian Gish - Night of the Hunter 15) Isabel Sanford - Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting16) Katharine Hepburn - The Philadelphia Story Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting17) Rosalind Russell - His Girl Friday Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting18) Barbara Stanwyck - Double Indemnity Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting19) Shirley MacLaine - The Apartment 20) Ruth Gordon - Harold and Maude

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OK, these are kinda incredible! My old friend Dee Babe sent me these; she's resides over there on the Northwest coast of the country. Now, that's not really a gigantic Cola bottle; it's a 3-dimensional chalk drawing (you know, just like Dick Van Dyke drew in Mary Poppins, dudes). The artist is Julian Beever: he's English but is known for his incredible 3-D chalk drawings all over Europe. Photobucket - Video and Image HostingHere he's sailing his little boat. . .but not really; it's just a chalk drawing. He employs a technique in his 3-D drawings in which the drawing appears distorted unless you look at it from a certain angle; then it looks freakin' 3-dimensional!!! Here's an example: Photobucket - Video and Image Hostingthis picture of the nice lady in the swimming pool looks like Julian is actually dipping his toes in the pool (keep in mind that both of his feet are actually touching the pavement). Now, here's the same drawing from the opposite angle; Photobucket - Video and Image Hostingthat huge pink long thang (watch it, you pervs) is her leg. Coolness! Here comes Spider-Man to the rescue where it looks like Julian is balancing on a stack of Jenga bricks!Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting And down there is a really incredible Batman and Robin in which Julian looks like he's actually perched up on a ledge of a building looking down at the caped crusaders!

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

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LADIES & GENTLEMEN: FINK'S MOM!!! Yes, there has been another Fink's Mom sighting. Grab your children off the streets and lock your doors!!! These blurry action shots are all that our intrepid cameraman could hurriedly snap before he was attacked from the bushes by Fink's Mom somewhere in the wilds of Souf Joisey!

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Here below is a clearer photo of Fink's Mom abducting some poor game show hostess (of course, that's Fink's Mom on the right). Be on the lookout!!! NO one knows where Fink's Mom may strike next!!!! *GASP!*

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Friday, July 14, 2006

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting THE SECOND "CERPTS & HONEY" MOVIE QUIZ!!!! Well, it's here once again. Your chance to guess what movie the quote is from; only this time it's a little different. As Richard Cheese sang in his cover of Nirvana's "Rape Me": "This one goes out to all the ladies!" Yes, these movie quotes are 100% female; spoken by some of the greatest actresses to grace the silver screen. I know, I know, you'll probably be looking for such fine leading ladies as Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears and Katie Holmes but I wanted quotes that contained words of more than one syllable. So .... here they are. Can you be the first on your block to guess them all? What actress said it and in what movie??? Simply leave your answers in my comments. 1. "Oh, Jerry, don't lets ask for the moon. We have the stars." 2. "It's me, you old poop!" 3. "This is no dream! This is really happening!" 4. "MY NAME IS MELINDA!" 5. "And by the way, there's a name for you ladies; but it isn't used in high society . . . outside of a kennel!" 6. "What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end." 7. "But you ARE, Blanche! You ARE in that chair!" 8. "Is this the fun part? Are we having fun yet?" 9. "You ate the ONY!!!!" 10. "The way you walked was thorny through no fault of your own." 11. "I'd say you don't like to be rated. You like to get out in front, open up a little lead, take a little breather in the backstretch, and then come home free." 12. "It was a son, Michael! A son! And I had it killed because this must all end!" 13. "This is the end of your rotten life, you motherfuckin' dope pusher!" 14. "Get your state troopers out here. I got somethin' trapped in my barn." 15. "Civil rights is one thing. This here is something else!" 16. "Oh, we're going to talk about me again, are we? Goody." 17. "I wouldn't cover the burning of Rome for you if they were just lighting it up!" 18. "There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour." 19. "I was jinxed from the word go. The first time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery." 20. "You know, at one time I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing ... oh my, how the world still dearly loves a cage."

Monday, July 03, 2006

I've been watching British comedy since I was a little lad and have enjoyed quite a few of them over the years. But these, for better or worse, are my favourites: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting1) Monty Python's Flying Circus -- The winner and still champion! Nothing has ever bettered it! Inspired by radio's Goon Show, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and Michael Palin blazed the TV trail for British humour as we know it today. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting2) Fawlty Towers -- Absolutely brilliant. John Cleese opted to end the series after only 12 episodes but he left us with a comedy masterpiece that reigns as the greatest British sitcom in history! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting3) The Good Life -- The "warm and fuzzy" sitcom about a couple who leave the rat race to become self-sufficient. Some might sniff at the high ranking but I find the charm of stars Richard Briers, Felicity Kendal (sigh), Penelope Keith and Paul Eddington combined with genuinely funny situations to be a winning combination. Shown in America as "The Good Neighbors". Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting4) The Young Ones -- Anarchic punk comedy at it's finest. Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Nigel Planer, Christopher Ryan & Alexei Sayle produced a hit comedy for the MTV generation. And then annihilated it! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting5) The Benny Hill Show -- All too often dismissed as low-brow and politically incorrect (both of which ARE true), Benny Hill was also extremely clever and witty. All that is remembered is his ogling women and running around but that was only a small part of his repertoire. He also wrote hundreds of witty (Yes, I said witty) sketches, poems and songs that still hold up as extremely funny. If you don't believe me, you just weren't watching. Benny Hill single-handedly built Thames Television and was a clown/comedian in the classic tradition. I'm really tired of people putting him down. So there! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting6) Solo -- After "The Good Life", Felicity Kendal starred in this superb sitcom about a woman who loses her job AND her boyfriend just as she turns 30. Brilliantly written by Carla Lane (who also wrote "Butterflies"), this series was limited to 12 episodes but was memorable nonetheless. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting7) Father Ted -- Insane series about a trio of Irish priests who are so inept that they are relegated to the remote, inhospitable Craggy Island. Laugh-out-loud hilarious! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting8) Red Dwarf -- The oddest of Britcoms: a science-fiction comedy. This usually unfunny genre works brilliantly (at least until the lackluster final season misstep) as the last human left alive travels thru space with a creature evolved from his cat, a hologram of a dead crewmate and a neurotic android. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting9) The Goodies -- this surreal "hippiesque" comedy starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden & Bill Oddie in what has rightly been described as a live-action Warner Brothers cartoon in which anything can happen: including a gargantuan-sized cat attacking London in the aptly-titled episode "Kitten Kong" Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting10) Two's Company -- Elaine Stritch stars as American author Dorothy McNabb who, while living in London, hires a "veddy British" butler played by Donald Sinden. The constant clash of personalities is priceless as America vs England in a no-holds-barred prizefight of a Britcom. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting11) Are You Being Served? -- one of those "gently funny" Britcoms I usually don't like but this one has a charm that I can't explain. Not brilliant by any means (in fact usually quite dumb) but I like it. Go fig. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting12) Not the 9 O'Clock News -- Hilarious sketch comedy show which featured a very young Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson and Griff Rhys-Jones poking fun at news programs and life in general. Sort of the British "Saturday Night Live". Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting13) Absolutely Fabulous -- Patsy and Edina! Brilliant in it's first couple years (but losing some steam in later seasons), this huge hit actually deserved to be so popular. Created by Jennifer Saunders & Dawn French and featuring the showstopping performance of Joanna Lumley. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting14) Black Books -- I've only seen the first season of this show (co-created by the creator of Father Ted) but I loved it. Having of late worked in a bookstore myself, I can SO relate! Bernard Black is my new hero. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting15) Mr Bean -- This Chaplinesque comedy played mostly silently by Rowan Atkinson is actually quite funny. Black Adder is OK but I prefer Bean. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting16) Coupling -- The first two seasons were brilliant. Often called the British "Friends", it's so much more than that. Haven't seen the later ones so I'm basing this on the first two. But WHAT a couple of seasons!!! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting17) To the Manor Born -- After "The Good Life", Penelope Keith starred in this "quietly funny" comedy which is also not brilliant by any means but enjoyable nonetheless. Keith plays the lady of the manor who, after the death of her husband, loses the estate to a supermarket magnate. Romantic comedy ensues. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting18) Butterflies -- Another extremely well-written Carla Lane series that finds Wendy Craig starring as a bored, neglected housewife who finds the opportunity to have an affair tantalizingly close. Will she or won't she? Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting19) French and Saunders -- Often hilarious sketch comedy. My personal favourite episode is the one with Alison Moyet. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting20) Thompson -- Surprisingly hilarious sketch comedy by future Oscar-winner Emma Thompson. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting21) Open All Hours -- Ronnie Barker (of The Two Ronnies) stars as a crotchety small store owner. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting22) Yes, Minister -- Very witty depiction of political life in Britain starring Paul Eddington (fresh from "The Good Life") and Sir Nigel Hawthorne. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting23) Kelly Monteith -- The oddest thing: an American comedian no one in America has heard of becomes successful in England and gets his own very funny sketch comedy TV show. I particularly remember a hilarious sketch about an airplane trip. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting24) Desmond's -- The most successful and best all-black British sitcom is set in a barbershop owned by Jamaican immigrant Desmond Ambrose (Norman Beaton); this show has been described as a sort-of British Cheers. Years ago, BET aired this series in America. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting25) The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin -- Leonard Rossiter stars as a sales executive who has something of a nervous breakdown and tries to fake his own death and drop out of the rat race of the business world. Wryly funny!