OK, I won't even MENTION that car drive home from Chez Fink today when everyone substituted the word "Puddin'" for other words in book/movie titles i.e. Lady Chatterly's Puddin' or How Stella Got Her Puddin' Back! Suffice it to say that Puddin' Mania is spreading like tapioca on an outhouse door! BUT, when I see my mother (who's favourite flavour of puddin' -- butterscotch -- is picture over there) and she spontaneously breaks out into some sort of beatnik puddin' poetry -- well, Puddin' has conquered the universe. Here's what she recited:

"Puddin' is good, puddin' is great, Puddin' makes you put on weight.

Puddin' in the kitchen, puddin' in the hall, Smear that puddin' all over the wall."

PUDDIN'HEAD STRIKES AGAIN!!!

No, I haven't gotten the puddin' thing out of my system just yet!!! Here's a real blast from my past. When I was a tiny little tot, my mother used to give me Gerber Baby Food's Blueberry Buckle. Now, it wasn't mashed up blueberries or anything like that; it was an actual blueberry puddin', if there is such a thing. Now, it was awesome, let me tell you. It was so good that both my mother and I were both still polishing off jars of it when I was older and in elementary school, in fact. The stuff was incredible! Sadly, sometime in the mid-70's Gerber stopped making the damn thing so we just had to jones. HOWEVER, this little thing called the internet appears to be telling me that Gerber is STILL MAKING Blueberry Buckle. The pessimist in me has a nagging feeling that, if I manage to taste a jar once again, it won't be anywhere near as good as it was when I was a kid. But, hey, as a card-carrying Puddie I have to at least TRY, don't I??? I gotta get me some of this stuff fast, gang! I wonder if the local supermarket has it because, if it doesn't, I'm gonna have to buy this stuff online or something. Puddies Unite!!! Brandish your spoons and stuff some puddin' in your faces!!!!

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE creates the famed Napoleonic Code with some nice chocolate puddin' by his imperial side. . .

GREEN LANTERN SAYS: "EAT YOUR PUDDIN', KIDS! OR ELSE!"

"In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night,

No puddin' shall escape my sight..."

HEY ALL YOU TIKI HEADS!!!! Ain't this a great old 1967 ad for puddin'?!?

ODE TO PUDDIN'!

Ah, yes. So creamy, so velvety, so delightful. It is so true that there is never a time when it isn't a good time to have some puddin'! And yes, it is also true that I have been obsessing about puddin' for the last week or so. (Hi, Fink!!!) I don't know what it is; I haven't had puddin' for years, probably. But all of a sudden that siren call of the velvety smooth puddin' has reached my ears, calling me, calling me. . . I'm sorry, you wacky Brits, but that cakey stuff you call pudding ain't what I'm a-hankerin'. No haggis, no blood pudding, no black pudding, no Yorkshire pudding for me. Puddin' should be sweet and smooth and velvety (there's that word again but why quarrel with perfection); that cakey stuff you can stick right up your jumper! CLICK HERE FOR THE HISTORY OF PUDDING: I ain't kiddin', folks! Ah, puddin'. The rapture of it, the joy of it. I'd rather have a bowl of puddin' than a picture of General George S. Patton in full dress uniform! What other dessert is so heavenly that it is frequently found floating in a cloud? (seen here in excelsis deo):

Ah, pudding in a cloud. We'll get to the sin of Cool Whip some other time. Now, most of us know it as "pudding in a cloud" but my beloved Katharine Hepburn made it for Spencer Tracy in one of my favourite movies "Desk Set" and she called it "Floating Island". Far be it from me to contradict the Great Kate so I'll just say that both appellations can be used. Either way, when entertaining the creator of the supercomputer Emirac in your apartment after being caught in a fifties New York rain, there ain't nothing better than shovin' some pudding in a cloud under his face! Puddin' Puddin' Puddin'!!! I love puddin'. Have you guessed? Ain't puddin' great? I bet you want some right now, don't you. If not, what the hell's wrong with you? You're either a pervert or a communist or both. Fidel Castro's first act as communist dictator of Cuba was to ban puddin'! It's the truth! That epidemic of SARS cases a few years back??? You know what cures it??? That's right. Puddin'! When Maria Callas lost her voice before debuting in "La Boheme", her famous vocal chords were revived with a big bowl of chocolate puddin'. The Miner 49'ers weren't ACTUALLY searching for gold; they were lookin' for puddin'!!! I'm telling you, when it comes to important universal truths, nothing outranks a puddin'. I don't mean to pull out the big guns but it's in the Bible, folks! Wiseacreotomy 16:23 states: "Whenever two or three are gathered together then they shall enjoy a nice puddin'." Don't argue with God!!! You'll be sorry. Whip yourself up some puddin' right now; your immortal soul depends on it!

Last week I whipped up a batch of butterscotch puddin' (Mmmmm puddin'!) and it wasn't that instant kind! It's the kind you gotta sit there and stir for about 3 hours; the REAL puddin'! Oooo, it was good. Friday I had vanilla puddin' parfait. I had some chocolate puddin' today. And I may even make some homemade rice puddin' tomorrow! Puddin'! PUDDIN'!!! PUDDIN'!!!!! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

THIS BLOG WILL BE RETURNED TO IT'S AUTHOR ONCE HE CAN REGAIN SOME SEMBLANCE OF SOME CONTROL OF HIMSELF.