A VIEWERS' GUIDE TO THE SECOND SEASON OF NIGHT GALLERY: PART THE SECOND. It's time to resume our look at the rest of Season Two and we begin things most auspiciously with the second and final H. P. Lovecraft adaptation of the series:

• COOL AIR was adapted by Rod Serling from the original Lovecraft story with the ever-reliable Jeannot Swarc directing. The episode is quite justifiably one of the most memorable with nice writing from Serling and some accomplished camera moves by Swarc. Of course, it concerns Dr. Munoz (Henry Darrow of some 97 episodes of HIGH CHAPPARAL) as a fellow who MUST keep cool in his air-conditioned apartment (for scary reasons we will discover) as he strikes up a relationship with Barbara Rush (from IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE and WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE). Rush is particularly good in her role. Things really heat up (pun intended) when the Victorian air-conditioning system breaks down -- and so does Dr. Munoz. My rating: 4 skulls.

• CAMERA OBSCURA is another nice one concerning an old inventor (Ross Martin of THE WILD, WILD WEST) teaching a penurious moneylender (a very young Rene Auberjonois) a lesson. Martin shows the banker his camera obscura (a roof-mounted optical device which projects the outside world onto a viewing table) and then takes him on a winding walk through the walls of his house to a "special" camera obscura -- in which he traps Auberjonois inside a green-tinted otherworldly place of zombie-ghouls who didn't live good lives (a la Jacob Marley in Dickens' A CHRISTMAS CAROL). Beautifully acted by the two leads, the episode also features nice direction by John Badham and some great "zombie" makeup on the vengeful spirits. My rating: 4 skulls.
• QUOTH THE RAVEN is another of those Jack Laird specialties: a short, comic blackout featuring comedian Marty Allen as Edgar Allan Poe having a disagreement with that raven perched above his chamber door. Master voice artist Mel Blanc quoths for the raven in an unbilled cameo. Dismal and unfunny. My rating: 1 skull.

• THE MESSIAH ON MOTT STREET is one of the most famous and best episodes of NIGHT GALLERY. And for good reason. This is one that should be dragged out every Christmas and Hanukkah. Don Taylor (who also helmed the nearly-as-good first season episode "THEY'RE TEARING DOWN TIM RILEY'S BAR") directs Rod Serling's superb (and very Twilight Zone-like) script sensitively and serves the teleplay well. That teleplay, of course, concerns a sick old man and his little grandson living in a ghetto trying to hold their lives together aided (as much as he can) by a young doctor. There is some real danger that the boy will be taken away from the grandfather or even that the old man will die from pneumonia. If only, grandpa tells the boy, the messiah would come to Mott Street and make everything better. The old man takes a turn for the worse and the boy takes to the wintery streets searching for the messiah -- and appears to find him. Not only is the episode superbly written and directed but it is beautifully acted by a perfect cast. Screen titan Edward G. Robinson is magnificent as he makes the viewer feel each wracking cough as well as the old man's tenacious reserves of strength and irreverent Jewish wit. Never a fan of child actors, I will say that Ricky Powell as grandson Mikey is really quite good; never saccharine and always watchable. Tony Roberts (veteran of several Woody Allen movies including STARDUST MEMORIES) is also quite superb as Dr. Levine. Then we come to Yaphet Kotto (ACROSS 11oth STREET, FRIDAY FOSTER and ALIEN) who is absolutely perfect as the angelic, could-be messiah. The gravity Kotto brings to his role (as well as the humanity) is truly remarkable. I think the episode avoids any and all sappiness and gets right to the heart of hope; something Serling more often than not could achieve in many a teleplay during his tenure on TWILIGHT ZONE as well as here in this episode of NIGHT GALLERY. Truly, now that it's available on DVD, it should be brought out for the holidays every year to provide a little bit of hope and heart during the dead of winter. My rating: 5 skulls.
• THE PAINTED MIRROR is quite a comedown from the last episode; but not much WOULDN'T be. Gene R. Kearney directs and adapted the Donald Wandrei short story in which an elderly antiques dealer discovers another world behind an old mirror that's been painted over. This episode follows a long tradition of mirrors in the horror genre and, while not spectacular, if told efficiently. The episode is however betrayed once again by a miniscule budget but I still find the oddly painterly other world behind the mirror to be a nice visual. Also on view are the clawed hands from the CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON's costume (NIGHT GALLERY was made by Universal, after all) as well as the usual terrible stock footage of lizards with plastic appliances stuck on their heads doubling for "dinosaurs". Arthur O'Connell (nominated for two Oscars for ANATOMY OF A MURDER and PICNIC) and Rosemary DeCamp (13 GHOSTS) are the elderly couple who exact some satisfying revenge on obnoxious Zsa Zsa Gabor. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE DIFFERENT ONES is something of a riff on that classic TWILIGHT ZONE episode "EYE OF THE BEHOLDER" that featured Donna Douglas with a bandaged face. Dana Andrews (NIGHT OF THE DEMON and LAURA) has a teenage son whose face is horribly deformed. This being the future, the authorities decide, since no operation will fix his face, the young man should travel to a newly-contacted planet which has just established contact with Earth. Pretty much by the first 2 minutes, you can write the episode yourself as the "surprise" ending isn't much of a surprise. Rod Serling's clunker of a teleplay basically rips off himself while the direction by John Meredyth Lucas doesn't particularly shine either. My rating: 1 skull.
• TELL DAVID... finds Sandra Dee lost in a storm and coming upon a strange, futuristic-looking house inhabited by a nice married couple (busy TV actors Jenny Sullivan and Jared Martin). Everything in the house, however, appears odd and unfamiliar (right down to the unknown "Pacific" cigarettes) to Dee. When Dee returns home, she resumes an apparently endless, ongoing fight with her husband (also played by Jared Martin). As Dee keeps returning to the house, she slowly begins to believe that she is somehow going to the future and seeing her own grown-up son (which would explain why the same actor plays both parts) who seems to be trying to warn her about some horrible fate about to happen to her. While nothing special, the episode directed by Jeff Corey from Gerald Sanford's teleplay is kinda compelling and doesn't feel like a waste of time once the viewer gets to the end. My rating: 3 skulls.

• LOGODA'S HEADS is the voodoo/shrunken head episode which features British explorers Patrick ("THE AVENGERS") Macnee and Tim (ANIMAL HOUSE) Matheson traipsing through Africa to find Matheson's missing brother. They are told to see witch doctor Lagoda (Brock Peters of TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD) for some answers. While Lagoda denies everything, a native girl (Denise Nicholas of "ROOM 222" and BLACULA) defies the witch doctor and attempts to help them. This is a rather dopey episode adapted from the August Derleth story by Robert (PSYCHO) Bloch and directed by Jeannot Swarc which is still entertaining to watch probably due to these two men. Also the cast makes it all worthwhile -- although the sight of such a superb actor as Brock Peters loudly chanting jungle gibberish while wearing war paint and feathered headdress recalls the similar sight of George Zucco in VOODOO MAN. There is also a brief appearance by Zara Cully (Mother Jefferson on "THE JEFFERSONS" as well as a similiar voodoo woman performance in SUGAR HILL) as an old native woman. However, the dignity of the actor carries it off. Just. Then again, there's also the appearance of one of my all-time crushes: Denise Nicholas! Her mere presence adds to the watchability quotient tremendously. Therefore my rating is quite generous: 3 skulls.

• GREEN FINGERS is one of those well-remembered episodes that concerns a dotty old woman (Elsa Lanchester) who has such a green thumb she boasts she can grow anything she plants. An unscrupulous developer (Cameron Mitchell) has bought up all the land around her house and the old lady still refuses to sell. Mitchell decides to get the old woman out of the way and hires a thug to scare her off. Unfortunately, the thug is overzealous as he attacks the old woman and cuts off one of her fingers; promising to keep returning and cutting off bits of her until she changes her mind. Delirious from loss of blood, Lanchester plants the finger in her garden and is taken off to the hospital where she dies. But didn't she say she could grow ANYTHING that she planted. . . ? Rod Serling's teleplay is directed by John Badham and makes an all-in-all nice episode. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THE FUNERAL is a daffy comedy segment but not a short vignette which is saved probably because Richard Matheson wrote it and John Meredyth Lucas directed it instead of Jack Laird doing either. It's still dopey, though, but at least one doesn't mind watching it. Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink from HOGAN'S HEROES) is a vampire who never had a good funeral so now he can afford one and wants one. He goes, therefore, to funeral director Joe Flynn (Captain Binghamton on MCHALE'S NAVY) and orders up the best of everything. Unfortunately, he's invited his boisterous monster friends (a witch, a hunchback, assorted vampires, a werewolf...) who turn the respectful funeral service into a monster rally free-for-all! A nice touch finds Jack Laird himself playing Ygor the hunchback in full makeup. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE TUNE IN DAN'S CAFE is an odd one which, when finished watching it, the viewer may find himself scratching his head. A separating married couple played by Pernell Roberts (BONANZA and TRAPPER JOHN, M.D.) and Susan Oliver (Vina from the STAR TREK episode "THE CAGE") stop in a deserted late-night diner and find a haunted jukebox which only plays one song which used to be "the song" of a gangster and his moll. A nice, creepy first half of the episode bodes well but by the end it leaves you wishing there was more to it. Film Editor David Rawlins appears to have had his one and only directing credit on this episode and does a fairly nice job. However, the teleplay by tyro Garrie Bateson adapting the Seamus Frazer story doesn't offer up enough to do anything more with. My rating: 2 skulls.
• LINDEMANN'S CATCH is a really good episode that looks great and fails only in the low budget effects used for the monster. Rod Serling's original script and Jeff Corey's direction are first rate and the cast (led by Stuart Whitman and Harry Townes). Whitman (who appeared in the final and best segment of THE MONSTER CLUB) stars as a ship's captain who nets a real-life mermaid and falls in love with her. Harry Townes (from the Boris Karloff's THRILLER episode "THE CHEATERS") is a local sot who also is a whiz with the tarot cards. Thankfully, the episode is actually shot AT NIGHT! None of the usual "day for night" shooting which mars many a NIGHT GALLERY episode. The fog is laid on nicely as well. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE LATE MR. PEDDINGTON stars the great Kim Hunter as a widow shopping around for the cheapest funeral for her dead husband. She goes to cut-rate mortician Harry Morgan (best known as Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H*). Unfortunately due to her late husband's distaste for rich widows, Hunter cannot inherit anything until she proves she can live on only $2000 for 2 years. This is a longer comedic segment written rather nicely by Jack Laird and directed well by Jeff Corey. However, it's the performances of Hunter and Morgan which are so superb as to raise my rating to: 3 skulls.
• A FEAST OF BLOOD features an obstinate Norman Lloyd (of Orson Welles' Mercury Theater and "ST. ELSEWHERE") trying to marry a stuck-up young blonde Sondra Locke (from countless Clint Eastwood movies) but she's having none of it. Lloyd gives Locke a present of a strange, furry brooch called a "vo-do" which represents the rat-like cousin of the bat family. As soon as we see it, we known immediately that that furry brooch is gonna come to life and cause havoc. So, the fun arises from anticipating just that. Lloyd and Locke both play their characters as unlikeable which adds to the fun. Jeannot Swarc directs and showcases the colour red; especially by dressing the pale, blonde Locke in a bright red coat which makes a striking image as well as an echo of things to come. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THE MIRACLE AT CAMAFEO is another story which features of twist ending that you kinda see coming. Harry Guardino plays an insurance investigator shadowing a man (Ray Danton) he believes is faking paralysis from a bus accident in which he won a large cash settlement. The great Julie (CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON) Adams plays Danton's sympathetic wife in the episode's best performance. The trio finds themselves in a Lourdes-like shrine called Camafeo where the Virgin Mary once appeared and the sick go to be cured. Danton's plan, of course, is to go to the shrine, pretend to be "healed" and walk again; thus getting to keep the money he fraudulently won by pretending to be paralyzed. Of course, the viewer is simply waiting for the crook to get his. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE GHOST OF SORWORTH PLACE finds American Richard Kiley wandering through Scotland and coming upon a spooky old house at Sorworth Place owned by widow Jill Ireland. Her husband's ghost is seen from time to time and it's obviously up to no good. A diverting if unremarkable episode that remains oddly unsatisfying. My rating: 2 skulls.
• THE WAITING ROOM is a very Serling-like script by Rod Serling dealing once again with the Western crossed with the supernatural that seems overly familiar but still quite watchable at the same time. Jeannot Swarc directs this tale of notorious gunslinger Steve Forrest (brother of Dana Andrews who appeared in MOMMIE DEAREST) who stops into a saloon where things get ominous. We know he's walked right into the Twilight Zone -- even if this is the Night Gallery. The saloon is packed with well-known character actors: Buddy Ebsen (Jed Clampett of THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES), silent star Gilbert Roland (Gaucho in THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, Dull Knife in John Ford's CHEYENNE AUTUMN and Juan in THE FURIES), Jim Davis (MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL as well as Jock Ewing on TV's "DALLAS"), Albert Salmi (veteran of 3 Twilight Zones as well as THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV) and former Tarzon Lex Barker (THE DEERSLAYER) in his final role. The sum of its parts add up to more than you actually get but nevertheless the episode remains strangely watchable. My rating: 3 skulls.

• LAST RITES FOR A DEAD DRUID is another dopey one which finds Carol Lynley (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and THE NIGHT STALKER) buying a life-sized cursed statue of a druid for her attorney husband Bill Bixby that looks exactly like him. Of course, after the statue is brought home Bixby is having nightmare about the statue moving around and seems to be slowly falling under the druid's hypnotic control. Donna Douglas (Ellie Mae from THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES as well as from THE TWILIGHT ZONE episode "EYE OF THE BEHOLDER") plays Lynley's hoyden friend. This Alvin Sapinsley written, Jeannot Swarc directed episode doesn't really work but it does remind me very much of the recent David Tennant DOCTOR WHO episode "BLINK" in which we find those angel statues with the ability to move around when you're not watching them. In fact, it's so similar that I wonder if the creators of the magnificent DOCTOR WHO episode ever saw this NIGHT GALLERY in their younger days. Of course, the episode is worth a watch because it is silly fun. I mean, where else are you gonna get to see Bill Bixby attempt to roast a live cat on a backyard barbecue grill?!? My rating: 2 skulls.
• DELIVERIES IN THE REAR is a fairly pedestrian retelling (for the umpteenth time) of the Burke and Hare/graverobbing for medical cadavers storyline we've seen so many times before -- and in better form. This unremarkable Serling teleplay is ably directed by Jeff Corey but remains fairly dull. Cornel Wilde (LEAVE HER TO HEAVEN) stars as the surgeon buying up cadavers for his class. The "surprise" ending is all too evident before the opening credits have faded from the screen. My rating: 1 skull.
• STOP KILLING ME is a short comedy vignette written by Jack Laird and directed by Jeannot Swarc in which a nagging woman (Geraldine Page) goes to the police to report her husband is trying to murder her. James Gregory ("BARNEY MILLER" Inspector Luger) plays the policeman. Another unfunny comedy snippet. My rating: 1 skull.
• DEAD WEIGHT is another dud which is carried almost completely by the lead actors Jack Albertson (WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and "CHICO AND THE MAN") and singer Bobby Darin. Darin is a robber who needs to get out of the country quick and goes to exporter Albertson to do it. Another Jack Laird-penned adaptation which goes nowhere fast; the "dead weight" here is the script. My rating: 1 skull.

• I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU - EVER is a big step up from the last few stories. Daniel Haller (THE DUNWICH HORROR) directs this Jack Laird-penned teleplay which finds Lois Nettleton (THE TWILIGHT ZONE episode "THE MIDNIGHT SUN") having it off in the barn with John Saxon (ENTER: THE DRAGON) while her invalid, ill husband Royal Dano (Judge Sternwood in 2 episodes of TWIN PEAKS) wastes away in bed. The lovers are waiting for the husband to die but Nettleton becomes impatient and visits a local witch who carves a voodoo doll of the husband so Nettleton can do away with the guy. The episode boasts really nice production values (for a change) and is superbly acting by the cast. Very moody and atmospheric. My rating: 3 skulls.
• THERE AREN'T ANY MORE MCBANES reminds me very much of Daniel Haller's 1970 film THE DUNWICH HORROR but without the Lovecraftian overtones. Alvin Sapinsley's teleplay is nicely directed by John Newland (who hosted TV's supernatural series "ONE STEP BEYOND" as well as directing several great episodes of THE TWILIGHT ZONE and BORIS KARLOFF'S THRILLER) about a student of demonology (Joel Grey) who conjures up a demonic something which he cannot control. Joel Grey's appearance even resembles that of Dean Stockwell in THE DUNWICH HORROR. A nicely spooky supernatural fun fest that also looks like it got a lot more of the budget up on the screen. Howard Duff plays Grey's rich uncle and first victim while Mark Hamill has a walk on as a delivery boy. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE SINS OF THE FATHERS is a remarkable episode featuring boffo acting from Geraldine Page, Richard Thomas and Michael Dunn as well as a welcome appearance by scream queen extraordinaire Barbara Steele! Jeannot Swarc directs this Halsted Welles script taking place during a famine in 19th century Wales. The local lord has died and his wife Steele is desperately trying to find a "sin-eater" to prevent her husband's soul from being damned to hell. The old tradition of the sin eater is that someone professionally travels around to dine over a corpse; in so doing he will "consume" all the deceased's sins and take them onto himself. Steele sends her servant Michael Dunn (THE BRIDE) to find a sin-eater but the plague and famine in the area thwarts him. He finally comes to the cabin of a sin-eater who is too ill to venture out; Dunn pleads with the sin eater's wife Geraldine Page by telling the starving woman about all the food which will be available if the sin eater will come. She refuses to rouse her ill husband but convinces her terrified son Richard Thomas (John Boy of THE WALTONS) to go to the corpse, pretend to eat the food after he sends everyone out of the room, and to secrete the food inside his robes to bring back with him. That way, he will get to eat but not eat the sins of the corpse since he's brought the food away with him. Geraldine Page's performance is excellent while Richard Thomas quite remarkably portrays the intense starvation and the horrible temptation to eat the food off the corpse. My rating: 4 skulls.
• YOU CAN'T GET HELP LIKE THAT ANYMORE is very reminiscent of several TWILIGHT ZONE's which feature robots who can pass for human. This episode concerns robotic servants who are mistreated by a particularly nasty married couple portrayed with lip-smacking glee by Cloris Leachman (Phyllis from THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW) and Broderick Crawford (BORN YESTERDAY). Leachman is truly delightful as the malicious hag who delights in humiliating and abusing her robot servants. While the eventual comeupance is telegraphed from the start, the performance of Leachman alone makes this one a treat! Jeff Corey directs this Rod Serling teleplay. My rating: 3 skulls.

• THE CATERPILLAR is probably one of (if not THE) most famous NIGHT GALLERY episodes ever. And deservedly so. Rod Serling's adaptation of the Oscar Cook short story "BOOMERANG" manages to improve on the original material while Jeannot Swarc reaches probably the apex of his direction on the NIGHT GALLERY series. All you have to tell anyone is that this is the episode with the earwig and they'll know exactly what one you mean. An arrogant, entitled Laurence Harvey is doing a year of service in rain-soaked Borneo along with 66 year old colleage Tom Helmore (VERTIGO) and his young wife (the delightful 4 time NIGHT GALLERY veteran) Joanna Pettet. Harvey has the hots for Pettet but she rebuffs him. A shady character (busy TV actor Don Knight) offers Harvey a way to get the girl: a local earwig that lives on wax is quite fond of the human ear and, for a price, can be inserted into the old man's ear so that it will eat it's way into the brain and kill him. You see, the earwig cannot turn around or back out so it munches it's way around the brain causing horrific pain and torment for a couple weeks until death occurs. Once this premise is set up, it's really not much of a surprise what happens -- however, it's the WAY it happens due to the script, direction and acting which is so great! The cast is absolutely perfect. Laurence Harvey gives a jaw-droppingly incredible performance while Knight, Pettet and, to a lesser extent, Helmore are all excellent. The sets and production values look the best they've ever looked on the series. Hot, humid Borneo during the unending rainy season is wonderfully evoked. My rating: 5 skulls.
• LITTLE GIRL LOST is the final episode of season two and should not be confused with the superior TWILIGHT ZONE episode of the same name. This one is definitely an "also ran" and quite unremarkable. A genius working on some secret government project is a basket case after the death of his young daughter; therefore his addled mind has created a still-living imaginary daughter which he thinks is still there. The government, anxious for the genius to continue his work with nuclear fission, attaches an agent to the man in order to humour him, pretend he thinks the girl is there as well, in order that the man will continue his work for the government. William Windom's performance as the insane genius is really the only thing going for this episode; he is almost as heart-tuggingly endearing as he was in the first season episode "THEY'RE TEARING DOWN TIM RILEY'S BAR". Ed Nelson is quite good as the agent but there's really nothing else noteworthy about the episode. Veteran character actor Ivor Francis (father of Genie Francis of GENERAL HOSPITAL'S "Luke and Laura" fame) is also excellent. My rating: 2 skulls.

Well, there you have it: Season Two of NIGHT GALLERY. We made it! I hope these brief little thumbnail descriptions help to illustrate just what the second seasons contains. The release to DVD is a very welcome event and there are enough really great episodes to make it worthwhile to own. Season Two was really the height of the series with more episodes than Season One and the truncated Season Three which saw the series go from an hour programme to a half hour with less episodes produced. Contrary to popular legend, though, NIGHT GALLERY was never a total failure (as Rod Serling himself apparently believed). Also, it's not true that Serling had "nothing to do" with NIGHT GALLERY other than hosting it; over a third of the episodes were written by Serling and that's something. Serling, of course, did not insist on creative control of the series so naturally he was disappointed and bitter; but NIGHT GALLERY as a series is better than it's usually portrayed and well worth seeking out for any fan of horror.