AT LAST THE DAY HAS COME!!! MY DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Here it is. At long, long last, I can humbly ask that you help me celebrate my emancipation from the Hellmouth. 
I have loosed the shackles that bind and handed in my notice. 6 years ago, when I first got this job I thought it was the answer to my prayers; a way out of the "food business" and hopefully a company I could stay with permanently. Well, unfortunately this is not the company I started working for 6 years ago and I thought it was best that I should take my leave. It was making me physically sick and emotionally drained. Not good. So, I'm going to work along with the famous Finkmaster Flash (Pray For Me!!!). No matter how bad it's gotten, it still makes me sad to think of leaving; one tends to remember the good times and forget the bad. Over the years (and a LOT over the last year) I have seen people that I care about and enjoy working with quit left and right. There are precious few left who I will miss working with but that's the part the really makes me sad at the moment. I'm sentimental about the old-timers who are still left (and there ain't that many of 'em!) There's Natasha (the romance book lady) and El Magazine Maestro (the nicest guy in the whole wide world) and the Preggers lady (what will she do without me ordering a DVD every week???). It was a great joy working with them. And there's Ms. Roberta Quibbler who would always be up for talking about movies or cooking or ANYTHING!!! Then there's Miss Jenny Penny: a partner in crime to beat 'em all. Of course, I'll still see her every Sunday night so that's not too bad. But most of all, there's that sweet, loveable Hippy!!! I'll really miss seeing her every day and I hope she can forgive me for leaving. You were always there for me with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend and that means the world to me. I'm sorry to be leaving you stuck there in the mire but really, it was time. That's why it is SO important for her to come on over with us every Sunday night. I'm still just down the road and will probably be in when you're working but you've REALLY gotta come over on Sundays. Pretty please?!?!? Maybe I'll even be able to convince Whatshisname to bake a sweet potato pie every Sunday to bride you with??? Well, that's about it. One chapter closes and another begins. I'll admit to being a little scared but I think it's all for the best. Wish me luck, friends. I hope I won't need it. And goodbye corporate retail world. You won't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore.
I have loosed the shackles that bind and handed in my notice. 6 years ago, when I first got this job I thought it was the answer to my prayers; a way out of the "food business" and hopefully a company I could stay with permanently. Well, unfortunately this is not the company I started working for 6 years ago and I thought it was best that I should take my leave. It was making me physically sick and emotionally drained. Not good. So, I'm going to work along with the famous Finkmaster Flash (Pray For Me!!!). No matter how bad it's gotten, it still makes me sad to think of leaving; one tends to remember the good times and forget the bad. Over the years (and a LOT over the last year) I have seen people that I care about and enjoy working with quit left and right. There are precious few left who I will miss working with but that's the part the really makes me sad at the moment. I'm sentimental about the old-timers who are still left (and there ain't that many of 'em!) There's Natasha (the romance book lady) and El Magazine Maestro (the nicest guy in the whole wide world) and the Preggers lady (what will she do without me ordering a DVD every week???). It was a great joy working with them. And there's Ms. Roberta Quibbler who would always be up for talking about movies or cooking or ANYTHING!!! Then there's Miss Jenny Penny: a partner in crime to beat 'em all. Of course, I'll still see her every Sunday night so that's not too bad. But most of all, there's that sweet, loveable Hippy!!! I'll really miss seeing her every day and I hope she can forgive me for leaving. You were always there for me with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend and that means the world to me. I'm sorry to be leaving you stuck there in the mire but really, it was time. That's why it is SO important for her to come on over with us every Sunday night. I'm still just down the road and will probably be in when you're working but you've REALLY gotta come over on Sundays. Pretty please?!?!? Maybe I'll even be able to convince Whatshisname to bake a sweet potato pie every Sunday to bride you with??? Well, that's about it. One chapter closes and another begins. I'll admit to being a little scared but I think it's all for the best. Wish me luck, friends. I hope I won't need it. And goodbye corporate retail world. You won't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore.
4 comments:
holy fucking shit. i can't believe it.
I second that, and say, congratu-fucking-lations!
And I'll miss you, you jerk! Of course, the [B]ookstore regime of old lives on, as the best and the brightest gather every Sunday to snark over the show of the week, plus Adult Swim and whatever is on VH1.
Kidding aside (mmm, let's pick the right side), this is totally awesome news. This means that:
1. Your job, which takes up at least a third of your waking hours, will be better. Thus 1/3 of your life will be better, and hopefully seep out into other 2/3 of it.
2. You, who actually attends social events--inluding our standing Sunday night soiree--can keep us appraised to what Fink is up to. (Plus I hear you'll have time to blog during the day, and more blogging is good when the writer is one to look forward to).
3. Now, you can come visit me at the hellmouth and not have to pretend to work or hold keys or approve returns or deal with angry customers or anything! In fact, you could become an angry unreasonable bastard of a customer if you so choose! Yay!
Unless of course I quit in a fit over you leaving. Which I still have the oppportunity to do. I could make it really dramatic...
My dear little petals!!! I must thank you for supporting my bold move (is that A-1 Bold??? Ah ah, none of your sauce!!!) I know it's hard to believe, Ms. Henri, that I FINALLY took the plunge ... so expect a snowstorm tonight. And yes, Miss Jenny Penny, the best and brightest live on every Sunday night!
I pray to god that on your last day, you stand in the center of the sales floor, take a long puff on a cigarette and with great flourish proclaim the following;
"I'm sick of those walls, I'm sick of that sofa, the only thing around her that doesn't make me want to puke is the door, because that's how I'm getting out!!!"
With that you toss your cigarette into the magazine stand and say, "To quote the kids in the ghetto, BURN BABY BURN!" and with that the rack goes up in flames!
Exit stage right!
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