JUST FOR THE RECORD: BEAKER IS WEAKER!!!
As you may recall, there was a ridiculous claim made by Cheekies that Beaker (the lameoid to the left) is a much better Muppet than Pepe the King Prawn. (Miss Jenny Penny actually did agree with him in the comment but I'm going to chalk that up to excessive zeal and hope that she will come to her senses -- especially since both Buffy AND Vicki Mars have already made their preference for Pepe known to me). Now, while there could be a legitimate case for a another Muppet being better than Pepe, choosing Beaker as the one is not wise; Beaker is not the go-to Muppet, folks. He's essentially a "one joke" Muppet who resembles a table leg with a box of french fries on his head. Once you've seen him . . .you've SEEN him. 
And once you've HEARD him more than a few times, he gets REALLY ANNOYING folks!
So, as a public service to those naysayers who actually think that Beaker is better than Pepe; we have conducted a scientific study with the help of NASA and McDonald's wherein the popularity and general "much betterness" of each Muppet has been calculated in relation to the aforementioned Beaker. We will thus have mathematical evidence as to which Muppet is better or worse than Beaker. And here are the results (those Muppets that are better than Beaker appear in blue while those that are worse appear in red):
Pepe the KING Prawn: 90% better than Beaker
Animal: 85% better than Beaker
Bobo the Bear: 70% better than Beaker
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: 2% worse than Beaker
Dr. Teeth: 14% better than Beaker
Sgt. Floyd Pepper : 4% better than Beaker
Fozzie Bear: 94% better than Beaker
Gonzo: 77% better than Beaker
Janice: 17% worse than Beaker
Kermit the Frog: 100% better than Beaker
Miss Piggy: 54% better than Beaker
Rizzo the Rat: 92% better than Beaker
Robin (Kermit's little nephew): 66% better than Beaker
Rowlf the Dog: 20% better than Beaker
Sam the Eagle: 22% worse than Beaker
Scooter: 71% worse than Beaker
Statler & Waldorf: 87% better than Beaker
Swedish Chef: 35% better than Beaker
Sweetums: 19% better than Beaker
Zoot: 7% better than Beaker
Big Bird: 9% better than Beaker
Oscar the Grouch: 91% better than Beaker
Grover: 98% better than Beaker
Elmo: 100% worse than Beaker
The Count: 94% better than Beaker
Ernie: 96% better than Beaker
Bert: 83% better than Beaker
Mr. Snuffleupagus: 74% better than Beaker
Cookie Monster: 91% better than Beaker
Judge Ito * : 25% better than Beaker
And, as if all this wasn't proof ENOUGH, I'll enter this additional evidence: I don't recall ever seeing a Beaker balloon in a Thanksgiving Parade. HOWEVER, you will notice there's a photo of a Pepe the King Prawn float right down there making it's way in the Thanksgiving Parade. So nertz to you, naysayers.
* Didn't realize Judge Ito was a Muppet, did you????
As you may recall, there was a ridiculous claim made by Cheekies that Beaker (the lameoid to the left) is a much better Muppet than Pepe the King Prawn. (Miss Jenny Penny actually did agree with him in the comment but I'm going to chalk that up to excessive zeal and hope that she will come to her senses -- especially since both Buffy AND Vicki Mars have already made their preference for Pepe known to me). Now, while there could be a legitimate case for a another Muppet being better than Pepe, choosing Beaker as the one is not wise; Beaker is not the go-to Muppet, folks. He's essentially a "one joke" Muppet who resembles a table leg with a box of french fries on his head. Once you've seen him . . .you've SEEN him. 
And once you've HEARD him more than a few times, he gets REALLY ANNOYING folks!
So, as a public service to those naysayers who actually think that Beaker is better than Pepe; we have conducted a scientific study with the help of NASA and McDonald's wherein the popularity and general "much betterness" of each Muppet has been calculated in relation to the aforementioned Beaker. We will thus have mathematical evidence as to which Muppet is better or worse than Beaker. And here are the results (those Muppets that are better than Beaker appear in blue while those that are worse appear in red):
Pepe the KING Prawn: 90% better than Beaker
Animal: 85% better than Beaker
Bobo the Bear: 70% better than Beaker
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: 2% worse than Beaker
Dr. Teeth: 14% better than Beaker
Sgt. Floyd Pepper : 4% better than Beaker
Fozzie Bear: 94% better than Beaker
Gonzo: 77% better than Beaker
Janice: 17% worse than Beaker
Kermit the Frog: 100% better than Beaker
Miss Piggy: 54% better than Beaker
Rizzo the Rat: 92% better than Beaker
Robin (Kermit's little nephew): 66% better than Beaker
Rowlf the Dog: 20% better than Beaker
Sam the Eagle: 22% worse than Beaker
Scooter: 71% worse than Beaker
Statler & Waldorf: 87% better than Beaker
Swedish Chef: 35% better than Beaker
Sweetums: 19% better than Beaker
Zoot: 7% better than Beaker
Big Bird: 9% better than Beaker
Oscar the Grouch: 91% better than Beaker
Grover: 98% better than Beaker
Elmo: 100% worse than Beaker
The Count: 94% better than Beaker
Ernie: 96% better than Beaker
Bert: 83% better than Beaker
Mr. Snuffleupagus: 74% better than Beaker
Cookie Monster: 91% better than Beaker
Judge Ito * : 25% better than Beaker
And, as if all this wasn't proof ENOUGH, I'll enter this additional evidence: I don't recall ever seeing a Beaker balloon in a Thanksgiving Parade. HOWEVER, you will notice there's a photo of a Pepe the King Prawn float right down there making it's way in the Thanksgiving Parade. So nertz to you, naysayers.
* Didn't realize Judge Ito was a Muppet, did you????
8 comments:
I would like to thank Finky for the use of the word "naysayers".
However, I'd like to thank MYSELF for the use of the word "wherein".
Gee, it's good to know that those four and a half years of college weren't spent in vain.
And which one is recording artist and has one of the most popular selling Christmas Album in the last 20 years? Certainly not the little shrimp!
And how dare you use a Thanksgiving reference to prove your point. I'm insulted as a Native American, now get out of my country!
Christmas album?!? Certainly not Beaker, as far as I know. And as someone who spent 6 out of the last 20 years working in a store that SOLD cds, we must be talking about an extremely MINOR release that only people with minds eaten away by the ravages of Syphillis would be familiar with.
And speaking of Thanksgiving. . .
Here. . .have a smallpox blanket. . .
Why. . .OH WHY. . . do losers have to stick together and stick up for one another. Beaker is a loser loser LOSER with a capital LOSER!!!
Now, count yourself chastised and go about your business.
Curvaceously mucking squirrels.
OK. I can only assume that the "most popular selling Christmas album in the last 20 years" is the Muppet Christmas Album with John Denver? Firstly, it's not quite one of the most popular Christmas cd's of the last 20 years.
And as for Beaker's contribution, I'm assuming you mean the one line he sings in "12 Days of Christmas" when he sings "mee mee mee mee mee mee mee mee". Gee. . .hilarious. A major recording artist is not something I would call Beaker from this one miniscule outting in the backwaters of a VERY OLD Christmas album.
Of course, if we're gonna talk recording artists then we might as well mention the fact that Pepe the KING prawn recorded a version of the Parliament classic "Flash Light" with his mightiness George Clinton. So, I think this rather trumps one little "mee mee mee mee" line with a guy who can't even fly a plane.
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