ICONIC ALBUM COVERS: PART THE FIRST. They're suitable for framing, I guess. But they also have an impact. That's what you call a great album cover; an iconic image that stays with you. Here are some random ones that stay with me.

David Bowie - The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders From Mars

Parliament - Chocolate City

Blondie - Parallel Lines

Nick Drake - Bryter Later

Marvin Gaye - What's Going On

Cat Stevens - Tea For the Tillerman

The Ramones - The Ramones

David Baerwald - Triage

Johnny Cash - American Recordings

Janis Joplin - Pearl

More to follow. . .

A Great Day to be a Fish

Multiply this by 8 hours a day 5 days a week 52 weeks a year and you have a VAGUE idea of my day. Finky is the green Fish and the OTHER guy is the orange one.

THE SECOND ANNUAL "CERPTS AND HONEY POPCORN MOVIE QUIZ"! Yes indeed. It happened last May and it's happening again. Here are 30 quotes from movies old and new. It's your job to tell me what movie it's from (and, for extra credit, the actor who said it) in the comment section. On your marks. Get set. Party.

1) "You stay classy, San Diego."

2) "I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little in the end."

3) "Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?!?"

4) "Oh, we're going to talk about ME again, are we? Goody."

5) "These pipes go down about thirty feet. If we anchor to them we might have a chance!"

6) "I was jinxed from the word go. The first time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery."

7) "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!"

8) "Hey! Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"

9) "You're just not COUTH!!!"

10) "She doesn't quite chop his head off. She makes a Pez dispenser out of him."

11) "You pink-ass, corrupt honky judge! Take your little wet noodle outta here and if you see a MAN anywhere send him in because I do need a MAN!"

12) "A) You can NEVER go too far. And B) If I'm gonna get busted, it is NOT gonna be by a guy like THAT!"

13) "Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?"

14) "Business bad? Fuck you, pay me! Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me! Place got hit by lighting? Fuck you, pay me!"

15) "I'd like to apologize . . . but who to?"

16) "To 1966. The year one!"

17) "I think I'll have a large order of prognosis negative!"

18) "You tell him and I will smack you! I will smack you like a bad bad donkey, okay?!?"

19) "I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk."

20) "I've got to do something about the way I look. I mean, a girl just CAN'T go to Sing Sing with a green face!"

21) "Kickboxing. Sport of the future."

22) "Oh for God's sake! He's got an arm off!"

23) "Y'all ain't NEVER got too things that match! Either y'all got Kool-Aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn!"

24) "Diabetes! I ought to know better than to hire anybody with a DISEASE!!!"

25) "Jack! Nothing tricky now. You KNOW I'm on top of you. DO NOT attempt to grow a brain!"

26) "Where John made his mistake, I think, was in attaching so much importance to what her mother and I might think; because in the final analysis it doesn't matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel for each other. And if it's half of what we felt? That's everything."

27) "Can you help a fellow American down on his luck?"

28) "The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly."

29) "Did he tell you exactly what to do? What to say? You were a very apt pupil too, weren't you? You were a very apt pupil!"

30) "You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909."

DISCLAIMER: I would JUST like everyone reading to know that I am WELL AWARE the Tunguska event DID NOT take place in 1909 -- that is an error on the screenwriter's part and I'm just delivering it up to you.

I will post the answers a little later once all my readers sober up some.

LUNAR TUNAGE: A PLAYLIST FOR THE MOON.

Moonlight In Vermont - Ahmad Jamal

Goodnight Moon - Will Kimbrough

It's Only A Paper Moon - Ella Fitzgerald

Moonlight Becomes You - Chet Baker

The Moon Got In My Eyes - Mildred Bailey

Moon River - Raul Malo

The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen

Polka Dots and Moonbeams - Frank Sinatra & Tommy Dorsey

The Moon Inside - Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians

Howlin' at the Moon - Hank Williams

There's Frost on the Moon - Artie Shaw

Shine On, Harvest Moon - The Boswell Sisters

Moonlight In Vermont - Rosemary Clooney

Moon Hop - Derrick Morgan

Goodnight Moon - Shivaree

There's A Moon Out Tonight - The Capris

Moonshadow - Cat Stevens

Moon Talk - Janet Kuypers

Full Moon and Empty Arms - Frank Sinatra

The Moon Is Blue - Colourbox

Full Moon - Eden Ahbez

Moonlight Cocktail - Glenn Miller

Orange Moon - Erykah Badu

Tubas in the Moonlight - The Bonzo Dog Band

Stop the Sun Stop the Moon - Mildred Bailey

Quarter Moon - Cheryl Wheeler

No Moon At All - Nana Mouskouri

Why Look at the Moon - The Waterboys

Moonglow - Benny Goodman

Old Devil Moon - Anita O'Day

Pink Moon - Nick Drake

Polka Dots and Moonbeams - Nat King Cole

Winter Moon - Stan Getz

Moon Song - Louis Armstrong & Oscar Peterson

The Killing Moon - Grant Lee Phillips

Rocket To the Moon - Moon Mullican

Swingin' On the Moon - Mel Torme

Whitey On the Moon - Gil Scott-Heron

Moonlight In Vermont - Jane Monheit

How High the Moon - Sarah Vaughan

Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

What's Next To the Moon - Mark Kozelek

Howl at the Moon - Cheryl Wheeler

There's A New Moon - Gov. Jimmie Davis

A Sailboat in the Moonlight - Billie Holiday & Lester Young

Destination Moon -Dinah Washington

Breast In A Moonbeam - Jandek

Moon Song - Annette Hanshaw

Fly Me To the Moon - Dinah Washington

Probably the funniest speech ever given in motion picture history. . .Yep, it's Bill Pullman in Independence Day!!! Yay!!!

"LISTEN TO THE SONG OF LIFE". That was her family motto. It was carved in the mantle at her childhood home. It was embroidered on a throw pillow on her sofa. And it's the way she spent every day of her life. KATHARINE HOUGHTON HEPBURN was born May 12th, 1907; 100 years ago this Saturday. It may come as something of a surprise to remember that she only died four years ago. It seemed like she might go on forever. Well, she certainly was an institution. She once quipped that, if one hangs around long enough, one gets to be revered -- like a monument. In Kate's case, it was a little more than that. She has been voted the number one female movie star of all time. I, for one, wouldn't argue that. She was a star of the first magnitude. Winner of a record 4 Academy Awards for Best Actress and nominated 12 times, Kate would be the first to tell you that what she did for a living wasn't very important. Except to all of us who loved her films. Granted, many of her films are classics. But Kate should perhaps be admired even more for the way she lived her life. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. She didn't have any children; not because she didn't want any but because she realized she was too selfish to be a parent and it wouldn't be fair on the children. She wanted her career. She made her choice and didn't whine and moan about her decision. Instead, she listened to the song of life. A quality I readily confess I don't have a knack for. If her studio was casting her in insipid costume drama turkeys (for which she would unfairly be labelled "box office poison"), Kate would just buy her way out of her contract, head to Broadway where she bought the rights to "The Philadelphia Story" and then wait for the studios to come crawling to her. And they did. And she played the lead in the film version. And she would be nominated for YET ANOTHER Oscar for it. Career back on track, thank you very much. One of her contemporary actresses said: In the first 5 minutes of a Katharine Hepburn film, you wonder WHY she TALKS like that. Then after about 10 minutes, you wonder why EVERYONE doesn't talk like her. Hepburn's strong Yankee "gumption" and her voice (which has been compared to nickles dropping in a pay phone) leads some unobservant people to suppose that Kate was more of a movie star personality than a REAL actress. They're just not paying attention. They can't observe past the Bryn Mawr accent to see the real, genuine acting chops Hepburn possessed. She is absolutely devastating as the drug-addicted Mary Tyrone in Eugene O'Neill's "Long Day's Journey Into Night"; this is possibly her greatest performance. She didn't win the Oscar for it but she was nominated once again. She played the hell out of Greek Tragedy in Euripides' "The Trojan Women"; Kate instills Hecuba with palpable heartbreak in every scene. When the material provided her with something to sink her acting teeth into, she obliged. If the character didn't require it, Kate would not overact merely because she was a "GREAT ACTRESS". She'd play the damn part like she was supposed to; like it was written. She never resorted to crowbarring little bits of actorish business in a role for the mere sake of it.

However, it's for the way she lived her life that I most admire her. Katharine Hepburn is probably the only "glass-half-full" optimists that DIDN'T drive me up a wall. That is because she didn't pretend like things were hunky dory and everything would turn out peachy in the end. Kate's eyes were wide open. She (unlike MOST optimists) realized that life has a lot of suffering in it; she didn't expect to be happy happy HAPPY every day. She was "adult" in this respect; more adult than about 90% of everyone I've ever met. When adversity came, she faced it and withstood it. However, she could find the bright spots when they were there. A slice of chocolate cake was cause for celebration. So what if life can suck; that damn cake was DELICIOUS!!!! Now, I am the consummate moaner/groaner; if there's nothing to complain about I'll make something up. I can't do what she did. And that's why I admire her as much as I do. It takes a hell of a lot of steel in your spine to live life like she did. Life to Kate was an exhilarating adventure. And for that alone, she was a hell of a lady. Happy 100th birthday, Kate. The world misses you.

WON'T YOU COME HOME, ST. THOMAS. . .WON'T YOU COME HOME. It's with great pleasure that I announce the long-awaited DVD release of two films for which I've been waiting eons. Both are films I love and we're getting them on DVD at last! One just came out and the other will be released any day now.

First is that historical epic from 1964 that was nominated for 12 Academy Awards: BECKET. Yes, children, it's the story of England's King Henry II (Peter O'Toole) and his friendship with Thomas a Becket (Richard Burton) which turned a wee bit sour after King Hank made Tommy the Archbishop of Canterbury. Henry thought he'd have an Archbishop whom he could control but Becket proved to be his own man. All this naturally led to the murder in the cathedral. Burton and O'Toole are both at the top of their game in this wrenching clash between church and state. One of the spectacular sidebars to "BECKET" is the fact that Peter O'Toole would once again play the same character (King Henry II) 3 years later in the medieval masterpiece "THE LION IN WINTER" with Katharine Hepburn as his queen (Eleanor of Acquitaine). I can't wait to see the restoration job on this film; the DVD will be out May 15th.

Then, there's that OTHER movie I've been pissing and moaning about not being on DVD for years now: SHIRLEY VALENTINE. This hysterical comedy features Academy Award nominated Pauline Collins as Shirley Valentine; a middle-aged wife and mother who is taken for granted by her children and husband. One day she has enough and decides to go on vacation with her friend to Greece. But a funny thing happens once she gets there; Shirley is abandoned by her man-chasing friend and then decides that she's not going to go back home. Ever. She's going to stay in Greece where she can be "alive" again. Collins was nominated for an Oscar and a Golden Globe for best actress in "Shirley Valentine" and she won the BAFTA Award and the Evening Standard British Film Award for best actress in this wonderful comedy. The DVD came out May 1st.

Now, if we could ONLY get "PETER'S FRIENDS" released to DVD.

ONLY 48 MORE EPISODES TO GO.

IT MAY BE OLD BUT IT'S PRICELESS!!!

A PERFECT DOUBLE FEATURE: INDEPENDENCE DAY & TWISTER.

So, I like Independence Day but I LOVE Twister!!! And could you think of a better movie double feature than watching both of 'em back to back. HEY KIDS! IT'S THE BATTLIN' BILLS -- Paxton AND Pullman UNLEASHED!!!

Now, I watch Twister at LEAST once a year. I have this little ritual; usually in May or June (right when Tornado season is heating up) I pop in the ole Twister DVD and watch it. I don't watch ID4 nearly as much but I don't LOVE that movie like I LOVE Twister. Although ID4 is a wonder, too. Witness that AMAZING Bill Pullman speech (which hopefully you can watch right below this blog). Then there's the embarrassing Judd Hirsch performance; we haven't seen the likes of THIS since The Goldbergs went off the air in the 1950's. But hey, it's got Harvey Fierstein in it, fer goshsakes! What's not to love? And a scraggily-haired Brent Spiner! There's Robert Loggia growling all over the place. Oh, and that Randy Quaid performance; just a tad less subdued than his National Lampoon's Vacation appearances. Of course, the shocking thing is that both Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum are actually quite good in their roles.

Now, you may have noticed. . .I don't think EITHER movie is GOOD. In fact, they're both pretty bad. But that's what makes them fun. And I love love LOVE that Twister! What could be better than Academy Award winner Helen Hunt and Not-Quite-Academy Award winner Bill Paxton speeding along the countryside chasing tornadoes (and tying themselves to. . .what? A pipe?!?). Then there's also the appearance of Academy Award winner Philip Seymour Hoffman (you didn't forget HE was in this, did you?) as the totally rad, goofy twister chaser accompanied by a bevy of cardboard characters who all play it as "cute-crazy" loons. I believe the correct word for all their characterizations would be "Quirky". They all go by nicknames like "Dusty" and "Preacher" -- hey, and Alan "Cameron" Ruck from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is ONE of them!!! And HIS nickname is "Rabbit". Sweet! Add to that Cary Elwes (Robin Hood, where's your tights?!?) who only plays it straight and dramatic when he's making a comedy film (and THAT'S what makes him funny) as the obnoxious "rival" tornado hunter and Jami Gertz (who does a 180 from her sultry vampire chick in "The Lost Boys") as Paxton's anal drip of a new fiance. How can you lose?!?!? I love this movie. I'm gonna go watch it now! And don't get the wrong impression; I don't love this movie and watch it over and over in order to ridicule it. . .it's not one of those "so bad it's good" things. I really ENJOY watching the movie; just because a film isn't well-made or is, in fact, cheesy doesn't mean it can't be a thoroughly entertaining experience. I'm not a snob. I love "Citizen Kane" but I also love "Twister". No apologies and no regrets. And no, I don't hate myself in the morning.

So stay tuned for next time when I bring you the ULTIMATE double feature bill: "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" paired with "Donnie Darko". If you have to ask WHY that's a PERFECT double feature, then I'm obviously wasting my breath on you. Game over, dudes. Game over!

THIS MONTH'S EYE CANDY: OLIVIA HUSSEY.

OK, I suppose for most everybody she will always be remembered as Juliet. And that's fine. The 1968 film "Romeo and Juliet" was a very good adaptation. It also featured a Romeo and Juliet who were the CORRECT AGE; Olivia was only 15 and she subsequently won a Golden Globe award for it. Now, I had a thing for Olivia before I ever saw her in "Romeo and Juliet" however (although I was probably about 15 myself when I finally did). By the time I first saw her, she was actually the older woman! And it's this Olivia (rather than the "Juliet" one) that I really prefer; when her face went from cute to ravishing. Stunningly beautiful with those almost glowing eyes peering out of her olive-skinned face, Olivia also has one of the most alluring and mysterious voices ever heard on screen. All this comes from her combined English and Argentinian heritage. All I know is that VOICE -- husky and soft at the same time with odd little exotic inflections -- pretty much did it for me! Her acting career never really matched up to her early Shakespearean success but I still love her in such films as the Agatha Christie all-star murder mystery "Death On the Nile", the charming little detective film homage/spoof "The Man with Bogart's Face", Stephen King's "It", the 70's remake of old dark house silent film "The Cat and the Canary", as Norma Bates in "Psycho IV: The Beginning" or the remakes of "Ivanhoe" and "Lost Horizon". Sometimes these were only excuses for me to watch Olivia. Valid excuse.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE A GOOD CONSPIRACY THEORY?

Like this one, for instance.

On November 18, 1979, the whacked-out "Reverand" Jim Jones somehow "convinced" over 900 members of his "People's Temple" in Jonestown, Guyana to drink poisoned kool-aid and commit suicide. Right?

Jim Jones' father was a member of the Indiana Ku Klux Klan. Jim Jones, however, preached "racial harmony" and a majority of his "People's Temple" were black. These members Jones promptly took to Guyana for a lethal kool-aid cocktail.

Jim Jones spent 1961 in Brazil doing who knows what. He returned with $10,000 (which enabled him to start his People's Temple). Local Brazilians viewed Jones as "an agent for the CIA).

Jim Jones had ties to the CIA-connected "John Birch Society" as well as "World Vision": an international evangelical order which did espionage jobs for the CIA in Southeast Asia, lurked around CIA camps on the border of Honduras which recruited anti-Nicaraguan mercenaries during the Reagan years, stationed representatives in Cuban refugee camps which featured Bay of Pigs mercenaries sponsored by the CIA, as well as other fun and games.

Inept Reagan assassin John Hinckley Jr.'s father was an official in the World Vision organization. Hinckley Sr. was also a good friend of Vice President George H. W. Bush; the two actually had a dinner appointment the NIGHT OF THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT which was understandably (quickly and quietly) cancelled.

After the massacre at Jonestown, World Vision repopulated the place with CIA mercenaries from Laos who had been active in the Vietnam War. Seriously.

Jim Jones' created the heavily "socialist" People's Temple on communal lines. Jones also raised money for Republican (and renowned commie hater) Richard M. Nixon (!) Jones was a right-wing Republican who founded a "socialist" church(?!?) How does THAT make sense???

San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk were strong supporters of the People's Temple when Jones moved it to San Francisco. Both were assassinated in 1978 by a "lone nut" gunman.

News items and scandals piled up about the "sinister" side of the People's Temple so Jones moved the operation to Guyana in 1977 to avoid "attacks" on his church. Black members arrived at the airport only to be bound and gagged, pumped full of drugs, made to do slave labour and subjected to endless "suicide drills".

Relatives of Temple members raised so many complaints that Congressman Leo Ryan travelled to Jonestown to check things out; with him was Deputy Chief of the U.S. Mission to Guyana Richard Dwyer and some reporters. Ryan and four reporters were shot dead at the airport as they were preparing to leave; Ryan becoming the first (and only) congressman to die in the line of duty. Witnesses at the scene described the gunmen as "glassy-eyed zombies" who showed no emotions and moved mechanically. Dwyer was found alive with a bullet in his butt, "methodically washing his hands" at the airport after the shootings. Dwyer's name appeared in a book called "Who's Who in the CIA" in 1959; when asked if he was a CIA Agent, Dwyer answered with a "No comment." Tape recordings made during the Jonestown massacre itself contain the voice of Jim Jones shouting: "Get Dwyer out of here before something happens to him."

After the murders, Jones called one of his "White Nights" and everyone ended up dead. Evidence seems to suggest, however, that most were probably murdered; forced to drink the poisoned kool-aid at gunpoint or forcibly injected. The first death toll was 408 but that numbered changed to 913. U.S. authorities explained this discrepancy by saying the Guyanans couldn't count (!). Then they said they "missed a pile" of bodies. Finally the story was that the miscount resulted from bodies being stacked; although photos of the scene show bodies lying individually on the ground and NONE were in piles. It's also kinda tough to hide 505 dead bodies under only 408 (especially when 82 of them were children). The real explanation is probably that the first reports of 400 dead and 700 fleeing into the jungle was more accurate; the fleeing members being caught and killed later (there were signs of "drag marks" near the rows of bodies indicating many died somewhere else). So who hunted them down and killed them? Well, CIA-trained U.S. green berets just "happened" to be in Guyana during this time. Also, every single account says there were at least 1100 people in Jonestown; 913 died and 167 survivors returned to the U.S. So who were the other 20 or so? The survivors mentioned an all-white elite group who were armed and free to come and go.

C. Leslie Mootoo, the first coroner on the scene, stated that all but three of the 913 had been murdered. He found gunshot wounds, needle punctures and signs of strangulation trauma on the bodies. Most of the needle marks were found between the shoulder blades (not easy to self-inflict). Of course, the U.S. Army ignored Dr. Mootoo's findings and said no autopsies would be necessary because the cause of death was not an issue. The bodies were then left to rot in the tropical jungle so no autopsies would be possible later.

Huge caches of weapons and psychotropic drugs were discovered at the scene; leading some to believe that Jonestown may have been a giant mind-control experiment using "religion" to collect mostly black and female "guinea pigs" in much the same way as the Nazis operated. These psychotropic drugs were identical to the type utilized by the CIA's "MK-ULTRA" mind-control experiments designed to produce "Manchurian Candidate"-type assassins.

Former People's Temple member Joyce Shaw stated that Jonestown was "some kind of horrible government experiment, some sort of sick, racist thing. . .to exterminate blacks."

On May 19, 1979 a Congressional aide stated: "There are 120 white, brainwashed assassins out from Jonestown awaiting the trigger word to pick up their hit." Former People's Temple supporters (San Francisco Mayor) George Moscone and supervisor Harvey Milk were subsequently assassinated by a "lone nut" gunman. Former Jim Jones aide Michael Prokes went to a public restroom and "committed suicide" after announcing that the FBI and CIA were withholding tape recordings of the massacre. Al and Jeanie Mills, who were planning on writing a book about Jonestown, were found shot dead in their home. At least one other Jonestown survivor was shot dead by "unknown assailants".

All possessions and money of People's Temple members were confiscated by Jim Jones as a price of membership. Estimate place the figure Jones amassed at between $26 million and $2 billion. Most of it "disappeared" after the massacre.

In 1980, columnist Jack Anderson published an article entitled: "CIA INVOLVED IN JONESTOWN MASSACRE".

Ain't paranoia a hoot?!?!? I love it! Next I'll tell ya how we didn't really land on the moon.

And how YOU doin'???

YOU WANNA CRY??? That's the question the Finkmeister asked me this morning when he showed me this story. "No!" I said but he showed it to me anyway. And here I am showing it to you. It's about a little dog named George in New Zealand who stood up to two attacking pit bulls to protect five kids. . .and died in the process. You can read the full story by clicking here. I urge you to click on it and read the complete report. Suffice it to say, this fits in very well with Finky's anti-pit bull story on his own blog (there's a link to it over there on the right). It seems not only were the two pit bulls allowed to run loose but they also were probably routinely given methamphetamines to make them MORE vicious. Cute. In my opinion, the owners of the pit bulls (who were found and destroyed) should be prosecuted for attempted murder. Poor little George would not let the pit bulls get at the children (one of whom was 4 years old) but challenged the pit bulls again and again while the children ran for help. By the time help came, George's wounds were too great and he had to be put down. This brave little dog never stood a chance but he wouldn't give up and run away. . . and George didn't even BELONG to any of the children. He was merely protecting some defenseless children (some of whom most certainly would have been killed in the attack if it hadn't've been for little George). This is something that never should have happened and, even though it made me feel like crying, I'm glad Finkster showed me the story. And yes, this is just ONE MORE pit bull attack story to be added to the MOUNTAIN of pit bull attack stories we hear about nearly every day. When exactly will these "pit-bull apologists" admit how dangerous these dogs can be. And no, it's not demonizing pit bulls; that's only their natures, it's true. However, that's the nature of a Bengal tiger also. . .and we don't see people keeping THEM as pets. So WHY exactly is it OK to keep pit bulls as pets? Lions and tigers and bears are inappropriate as pets. And yeah, so are pit bulls. Deal with it.

TWITERPATED TIME. Well, things get a little silly in the Spring. Daffy even. Irrefutable evidence of this fact??? Check out the two posted videos below this. Now picture Daffy (Duck, that is) bouncing all over a mountain lake whooping "Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo". Well, in that spirit. . . "Everything is Twiterpated in the Spring, Skunks smell sweet, rabbits sing, Daffodils go daffy and the bluebells ring, the whole wide world's in love. Froggies turn soprano and the birds sing bass, squirrels go nuts every place, there's a twiterpated look on every face cause everyone's in love. When you can't control a grin when your head's inflated Love just socked you on the chin Pal, you're twiterpated! Things begin to happen when a boy meets girl, deer meets doe, squirrel meets squirrel it's a topsy-turvy twiterpated world when everyone's in love." And I love Thurl Ravenscroft (1914-2005). Requiescat in Pace.