Tuesday, April 25, 2006

IT'S FINALLY LEGAL!!! The year: 1985. The place: Rustler Steak House (remember those?!?!). A 19-year old me is quietly working on the front line (behind the front counter for you non-Rustler alumni). Just then, somebody rolls a cart full of clean dishes up to the area where I'm working. It's this new kid we just hired; even younger than me. He's only been here for about a week or so. I don't even know his name and he certainly has never met me either. Two strangers in aprons and blue-checkered shirts. I continue working, not taking any notice of him (because I'm a shy bastard) and this kid proceeds to stack the clean dishes on the shelf. Finishing his task, this new kid turns his cart around to leave. Suddenly, he turns back towards me and says, without a prelude of any kind: "Do you know that Alucard spelled backwards spells Dracula?" Now, I've never spoken to this guy in my life and here he is blurting out this incredibly random statement. He doesn't know who the hell I am and there's no reason in the world for him to say this to me. "Yes," I reply, somewhat non-plussed, "I did know that." (What a snappy comeback!!! Our kid can REALLY think on his feet!) The guy then nods and wheels his cart away. That's it. The end of conversation. This is a true story. I swear to God! He just turns and walks away without another word or explanation of any kind. Needless to say, I was fuckin' puzzled (that's me looking fuckin' puzzled on the right)! Not at the fact that this stranger made such a vague, random statement (which most people would contemplate calling the authorities over to see if they were missing a mental patient). However, I love horror movies and had just taped "Dracula A.D. 1972) off the TV; said Hammer horror film features a character named Johnny Alucard!!! (That's him pictured below getting the "cold shoulder" from Christopher Lee). Now what made this strange kid say this particular sentence to me out of the blue??? It can only be called fate or destiny or whatever new age term is fashionable these days. All I can say is: my first thought was "Here is one strange pup and I've got to get to know this guy better!" And I did. And to this day, 21 years later (I suppose that means our friendship is finally turning LEGAL!!!), I still consider this guy my best friend. The daffy dope! He has seen me thru my ups and downs (quite a few downs in the last decade) and has always been there for me. He's supported me when I was in the depths and has made my life more incredibly fun and enjoyable than it ever would have been if he hadn't made that stupid-ass random statement to me all those years ago. Hail Cheeks, the doddy extraordinaire!!! Now I don't know if everybody gets such a good friend in life but I hope so. Because there's really nothing better in the world.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did this young nameless chap go on to write Monster Squad? "Call Mr. Alucard -- from school?" Followed by the montage when young Sean Crenshaw painstakingly figures out (in his Mead wide rule spiral bound single subject with the red cover) that Alucard is, indeed, Dracula!

And yes, I remember what was written on the white board in the kitchen in a monster movie made in 1987. 'Cause that's how I roll.

Cerpts said...

No. Sadly, my friend is not well-connected enough to have written Monster Squad. And I think you roll very well, thank you very much. Long live the horror fan! And foodies too.

Pax Romano said...

That is so cool,

Say is your friend an Ed Wood Fan.

"Dr. Acula!"

Star said...

i totally knew exactly who you were gonna be talking about b/c of the braveheart photo!!! he is so sweet-cheeks' doppleganger!!! i love this post, but what's got you all sweet and sappy? where's that steel hearted prick that i know and adore? kisses!

Cerpts said...

Don't worry. I've been drinking vinegar and sauerkraut juice so I'll be back to my nasty ole self the next time you hear from me.

Starting now:

You see, you can tell those pictures are of Sweet Cheeks because he's covered in dirt, shit and filth!!!

There, I feel back to normal again!

Cerpts said...

Oh, and how do you like that vintage Rustler Steak House coupon for the very Rustler in which I worked!!! Granted it's from many years before I worked there (1972 to be exact) but it's still kinda neat seeing that Marlton address on it!