SCAMP'S CHRISTMAS QUOTES: Now these don't have anything to do with Christmas -- in fact, they don't have anything to do with anything. They're just quotes. And that's the way I like it.
"I've had a Carrie's prom night with extra pig's blood kind of day."
-- Lisa Ann Walter
"There can be no greater danger to one laboring to reach a higher spiritual and moral plane than the feeling that he has achieved it."
-- Adin Steinsaltz
"She hath done wondrous naughty."
-- Francis I, King of France
on Katherine Howard c. 1541
"To be called 'deliciously demented' by people who really know their dementias is high praise indeed."
-- Bruce Kimmel
"Life is just a sucker's dream
and death is a disgrace,
So come on down you Saucer Men
and take me off to space."
-- Rev. Ivan Stang
"Freud was an unhealthy influence on America. I think people take themselves too seriously."
-- Katharine Hepburn
"He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed."
-- David Frost
"A man who limits his interests limits his life."
-- Vincent Price
"You're so ugly you hurt my feelings!"
-- Moms Mabley
"It is the happy heart that breaks."
-- Sara Teasdale
"If all the politicians in the world were laid end to end they would still be lying."
-- Fred Allen
"If all the girls in attendance (at the Yale prom) were laid end to end I wouldn't be surprised."
-- Dorothy Parker
"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"(Mathematics is) the last refuge of the feeble-minded."
-- John Dickson Carr
"Axiom: no matter how good looking she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit."
-- Martin Wagner
"Why don't you get a toupee with some brains in it?"
-- Moe Howard
"If you have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?"
-- George Carlin
"(Music is my) consolation for living."
-- Clifford Curzon
"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few his precepts!"