Wednesday, May 30, 2007

MY WALK OF SHAME. Everyone has their dirty little secrets. Those ugly facts about ourselves which we keep hidden in the dark, dark recesses of our unexamined lives. I am no different. I have a secret shame that I keep covered up; far from the prying eyes of passersby. But now I've decided to come clean. Kick off the shackles of silence and confess my dirty little secret. So here goes:
As a self-confessed major movie fan, I have to admit that there are some MAJOR MAJOR motion pictures which I've never actually seen. . .and I should have. I know I know. You gasp! You reel back in disgust. But it's true. Some of the biggest films . . . films EVER movie buff should have seen . . . I haven't seen. It's not that I don't WANT to see them; I just never have had the opportunity. Or the stars weren't aligned just right. Or something. These are FAMOUS movies, folks! I stand disgraced and sullen. So try not to think less of me (I know it's IMPOSSIBLE to think any LESS of me), try to control your shock when I admit to NOT having seen the following films:
STAGECOACH (1939) directed by John Ford starring John Wayne.
NIAGARA (1953) with Marilyn Monroe
THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1967) I heard a gasp coming from Souf Joisey.
ON THE WATERFRONT (1954) with Marlon Brando
MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN (1936) directed by Frank Capra with Gary Cooper
CAMILLE (1936) with Greta Garbo
GRAND HOTEL (1932) with Garbo, Barrymore, Crawford, Barrymore, etc.
CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF (1958) with Liz Taylor & Paul Newman
YOUNG MR. LINCOLN (1939) with Henry Fonda
ANATOMY OF A MURDER (1959) with Jimmy Stewart
CAPE FEAR (either one)
THE MARK OF ZORRO (1940) with Tyrone Power
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT (1967) with Sidney Poitier
MRS. MINIVER (1942) with Greer Garson
DINNER AT EIGHT (1933) with Jean Harlow, John Barrymore etc.
OF MICE AND MEN (1939) with Burgess Meredith & Lon Chaney Jr.
SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS (1941) directed by Preston Sturges
THE SONG OF BERNADETTE (1943) with Jennifer Jones
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA (1958) with Spencer Tracy
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS (1944) with Judy Garland
THE HARVEY GIRLS (1946) with Judy Garland
SILK STOCKINGS (1957) with Fred Astaire & Cyd Charisse
ON THE TOWN (19595) with Gene Kelly & Frank Sinatra
CABARET (1972) with Liza Minnelli
THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988) directed by Martin Scorcese
SEVEN SAMURAI (1954) directed by Akira Kurosawa
BAMBI (1942) yeah, I said it.
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975) with Jack Nicholson
THE ENTIRE "DOLLARS" TRILOGY starring Clint Eastwood
CASINO (1995) directed by Scorcese
Geez, what the hell was I watching all these years??? Ernest Goes To Camp?!?!? Of course, if ANYONE would like to donate free copies of these movies. . .


Cheekies said...

Dude, what the frig??? Ok some I have seen, and I can critique for you.

Stagecoach - Awesome, what else can I say. And that is saying a lot for someone that (A) hates westerns (usually) and (B) thinks John Wayne is horribly overrated. The movie is made great by John Ford the director on the movie.

The Valley of the Dolls - Didn't care for it so much. For years I had heard about this movie and how much everybody talked about it. Well, I don't get it. I don't know if you have to be a female to like it better or not. Some say it's so good because it's so bad. I lean more towards the theory it came out right after Sharon Tate was killed and therefore grew popularity from that fact.

On the Waterfront - What?? How the hell?? Get this one immeiately if not sooner. "I coulda been a contender." Interesting factoid about this one; didja know it was based on a 24 part newspaper investigation on crime "on the waterfront".

Young Mr. Lincoln (or Linclon depending on which road you are on) - Another John Ford directed great (can you tell I like John Ford? Betcha didn't know that about me.) more of a drama than a biopic but it does have a good murder case at it's basis. Interesting fact - a scene in which Lincoln meets a very young John Wilkes Booth didn't make it into the final edit.

Thomas Crown Affair - Saw the remake with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. Liked it ok the soundtrak is better and Russo is friggin' hot.

Cape Fear - Saw 'em both. Now I liked them both for different reasons. The original is more freightening than the remake. If you like a movie that gives you inferred horror than you will like this one better. The remake is definitely more disturbing and darker than the original also a little more believable. I still fnd it hard to believe Gregory Peck would be intimidated by Mitchum for a second but that's probably why the roles were supposed to be reversed originally.

Of Mice and Men - I've seen all three versions of it. The original I liked somewhat. The tv version we won't talk about. The version I liked a lot was the 1992 version with Gary Sinise and John Malkovich. This version is less true to the book than the original, and yes, I've read the book as well and liked that the best of all.

THE SONG OF BERNADETTE - Was made to sit through this one Easter morning many many moons ago. Had a grudge aganst it from the beginning. Vinnie was the only thing that saved me. Haven't seen it since or had the desire to.

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST - Interesting idea, maybe the book is better. I didn't get it at least I don't think I did. Maybe we should rent it and watch it together. Besides "Willem Dafoe as Jesus" is hard enough to believe but Harvey Keitel as Judas?

Seven Samurai - Had to see it after I saw the Magnificent 7. I think this one depends on your hemisphere orientation. Or maybe I am mispeaking. Probably people that like the original hate the western remake and vice versa. I liked the original just a little bit less than the American remake. But you know how I feel about foreign films. And westerns.

Bambi - I don't know if we can still be friends anymore. This sould be number one on the list you see.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - If Bambi is first this just better be second. A classic. For someone who doesn't usually watch movies over and over again, I've seen this one three times. For the record Bambi I've seen 6.

The Dollars trilogy I have sat through many times. All of them in my childhood. Usually not by choice. One thing I can say though is, Clint Eastwood in whichever one I saw first was the first person I can remember seeing on tv and saying "He's a bad good guy or a good bad guy. How can that be?" Perhaps it was the basis I grew from. Either I am the least bad of the bad guys or I am the worst of the good guys. Go fig.

Thelma & Louise - Three words - Brad Pitt's Ass.

You should suddenly find yourself a very busy little boy. Oh, and just for the record, I've seen Earnest Goes to Camp and I like Earnest Scared Stupid much more.

Cerpts said...

Stagecoach - I agree with you about Westerns, John Wayne and John Ford. As I said, I'll see these movies EVENTUALLY. Dammit.

Valley of the Dolls - Daddy Pax loves it so that's good enough for me.

On the Waterfront - whatever. I'll do what I want!

Young Mr. Lincoln - I'm a huge John Ford fan as well.

Cape Fear - I know you liked them both. So why don't you buy the DVDs for me so I can critique them! Huh? Huh? After all, I STILL haven't gotten a Christmas presnet from youse. How's that Ultraman box set, by the way...

heh heh heh

Of Mice and Men - I heard about that Sinise/malkovich one; sort like the actor's studio version. Of course, I've always wanted to see the one with Lon Chaney Jr. (I've seen many scenes from it of course but that's not the same thing).

Song of Bernadette - who could've possibly made you sit through that one???

Last temptation of Christ - I hear that was based on a book called Last Temptation of Cheeks, I believe. Sure, I'm always up for renting a movie and watching it together. Of course, I never get an invite over to your bungalow so I guess I'll ROT before THAT happens. (Your Jewish Mother or your Catholic mother -- you choose which one I'm doing best).

SEVEN SAMURAI - I have no problem with foreign films or hemispheric orientation (or is that Occidentation in our case?) But hey, I've seen the Magnificent Seven already too.

Bambi - yeah. I've told you for the last 52 years that I've never seen Bambi. And have you EVER offered to show it to me. Bambi. Not the other thing. No you haven't. And have you ever offered to let me borrow it? Of course, you MUST own a copy of it since it's THAT important to you. And if you don't. . .you is a silly bastard.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST - You've only watched Bambi 6 times. Jesus, I've watched movies I'm only "Eh" about more than that. You silly SILLY bastard. Only a couple months ago, I watched my DVD of Chilly Scenes of Winter 5 consecutive times in 2 days. What's wrong with you? Stay off the damn computer and video games 23 hours a day and waste your time REWATCHING MOVIES!!!!!

The Dollars trilogy - Is that why you wanna fuck Sawyer????

And I've never seen Ernest Goes to Camp OR Ernest Scared Stupid but guess which one I gravitate towards JUST because of the title.

Cerpts said...

I still wonder at all of you since NO ONE has mentioned Michael Jackson peering in the window at Macaulay Culkin. Apparently, a leering Michael Jackson face at the window doesn't disturb you people!!!!!!!!

Cheekies said...

If he's peeking at that dude, then he can't be outside my window ... or can he?